I can totally relate and sympathize to every last word you are saying.
I also a traumatic child hood experience (when I was 16, my father almost died and was debilitated from a brain hemmorage) and I took this event very hard. It affected me in many ways - confidence, self esteem, missing a father figure in my life (I used to be very close with my Dad, so this event was very hard on me).
Anyways yes I experienced facial blushing and flushing from the age of about 17 on. And yes when i sneeze or laugh or workout or anything strenious turns my face bright red. Oh and yes it used to be when someone would say good morning to me at the office, or if I dropped some change in the market while paying, or anyone of a million stupid things would set my face on fire.
Oh and how I hated someone pointing out that I was turning red, of course that was like adding fuel to the fire and I would turn a shade of birght shade of red. Of course being a guy, who kinda of thought of himself as a tough guy ( a man's man) this blushing thing was very debilitating to me and my confidence and everything.
After a couple years of dealing with this I started to avoid social situations and dates with girls and events at work and so on.
I used to think if I could just get this blushing thing under control my life would be great and I could face the world and deal with things and so on. I remember i used to watch movies and certain scences that the actors would be in would make me turn red and I would wonder how is it they are not blushing.
Just like you said I only had to think about turning red and I would flush. s matter of fact someone could tell me a story about how some guy they talked to turned bright red and even if I was not flushing, something like that could set me off.
Anyways I'm happy to say that these days (Thank God) I don't blush that much at all. Yes sometimes I still turn red from sneezing or whatever. But it does not bother me and nobody seems to care and even if they di make a comment that I;m red (which rarely happens) I just say so what and move on.
I'll never know (but I still do wonder) if I always blushed (like from a younger age than 17) or did this just all happen then or was it always happening but it just never bothered me, did the event with my dad set it off.
The best way to deal with it is this. Number one Exercise, take care of your health, watch what you eat and just in general try to be a healthy and active person. The second thing that helped me was faith in God and I stopped caring so much about what other people thought of me and just worried about what my maker thought. The third thing is just put yourself out there and don't fear. Beleive me I know that is easier said than done and as you can see by my comments I;m sure you can probably relate to everything I;m saying so you must beleive me when I say I know what you are going through.
So if you ever want to get out of this and not let your life be restricted by it, then as hard as it is you are just going to have to put yourself out there and live your life and it may make doe some embarrsassing moments, but beleive me most of the embaressement is just in our own minds and in reality it is not as bad as you think it is.
So just live your live put yourself in a unconfortable sitautions and don;t worry about the blushing, you turn red so what. So your red big deal (you could be dead) and beleive me in time you will see that you will just not care much anymore about it and you will turn less and less red to where you probably won't blush at all.
Again I now this is way harder to do than I make it seem. But what other options do you have. I promise there is no magic pill, there are some pills like propanol or some other blood pressure meds that do help, but its no magic and you will still blush. If you want to cure your just going to have to face it dead on. the only other option is to bury your head in the sand like an ostridge and I know you don't want to do that, even though you may feel like doing that.
Not to show off (just to inspire you). I'm almost 31 today and I run a company with over 25 employee's who report to me daily. I hold daily meeting with my employee and give speeches to all of them, including meeting with my customers, etc.. and I just don't let it bother me, it was really hard but I had to face it and beleive me I had a big ego and tried to make myself out to be some big shot I wasn't which made the whole blushing thing even harder for me to cope with.
Sorry to blab for so long.
God Bless and the best to both of you. Let me know if you have any questions.
Another drug other than propanol you may want to try is Clonidine.