I can totally relate to your story. I'm 20 years old and when I was 18 I dropped out of highschool. I would skip school every day to go home just like you did! I constantly wanted to be at home in bed and sleep. My boyfriend now finance has been my saving grace through out this whole ordeal, so I'm pretty lucky to have someone so motivating! That is really so important for you and I, motivation. It may seem impossible to find at the moment, but I have to ask what do you love to do? There must be something you want? That is the first step, finding something you want. The second step is just to have someone to vent to. Does'nt matter who just as long as they will listen, mom, dad, you know. For me just holding my cat and hugging her in the morning can change my whole day! I know it sounds silly but you just have to find these little tiny things about your life that make you feel good. And I know this is the one we probably both hate, and thats just putting your self out there......... It sucks when you are sooo comforatable with being alone cooped up, been there done that, but It came to a point where my mom forced me out haha! I hated her for it but I will thank her for the rest of my life! And if in the end, none of that helps you and you know you have tryed the hardest you can, it's time to seek help. There are groups you can find online, or seek out a doctors advice. I know how hopless it can seem. I hated me and honestly some days I still fall into that emptiness, but I am seeing the light. I really hope any of this helped you even just alittle bit:/ Hold in there! Nothing is set in stone
oh p.s. remind yourself why your are afraid to contact a professional, chances are when you say it out loud, It will sounds silly to you. I have to do that to myself allll the time. Say outloud what your afraid of!!