Hello, Im 20 years old and since I was 16 I've been dealing with anxiety/depression. It got so bad I even dropped out of high school! I am constantly doubting my self, EVERYTHING about myself. My mom and finace tell me to get over myself, that im not the only person on the planet. They have no idea how badly I wish I just could drop my thoughts of how stupid, fat, ugly, unworthy, ect. It is almost all i can think about. Self doubt haunts me! I try and hold it in and then after a couple weeks have an anxiety attack and it scares the hell out of my family and fiance. They all tell me they are there for me, but when I try and blow off steam, they tell me I'm crazy! I NEED someone to understand because they make me feel alone, like I should be in a looney bin! It is soooooo bad that sometimes it is sooo hard to leave the house. I swear I spend close to 3 hours out of my day just doing my hair, makeup, and picking out clothes, because I never feel beautiful. Everybody thinks it is rediculous, but I can not BEAR to leave the house otherwise
It consumes my life!! I constanly feel like I am not good enough for my finance, or he's not attracted to me, which I know in my head he is. It just seems like no matter what he says or does it's not good enough! I know I sound like a shallow mess, but the truth is, I am TRULY hurting inside!!!! I just need to know that someone feels the same, that I am not alone! I am CONSTANTLY anxious!!! My body is starting to feel the effects as well. I constantly feel like there are weights on my body and I have been breaking out in rashes on my chest and stomache! I need help pllllllllleeeeeeeeeasssssssse!!!