Just found this board and had to respond!
I too had been doing fairly well until recently. There was a period of time that I had not taken a vacation for about 8 years, things were that bad! It was a chore to go to work every day, and my choice of where I would take a job was dictated by my "comfort zone". I would not take a job if it were more than a 4 or 5 mile drive. Fast forward, for the last 10 years I have been regularly taking vacations again, flying sometimes 3 or 4 times a year etc...
NOW, all of a sudden it's like a switch flipped and I am having issues again. I am forcing myself to continue on, but as of late I have been having pains, bad pains, on the right side of my chest. I know it's not cardiac related because IF I move a certain way it stops, but in the back of my evil mind I just know I am going to die! This has progressively been getting worse. I swear I will not go through all of this again. This is no way to live a life full of promise and joy. I don't say anything to my family because I don't want to bring them down, but instead I come up with damn excuses of why I can't do things. So I hear you loud and clear smurfy, and certainly sympathize with you. I do find it most beneficial to discuss it like this, so I hope you can get through it to enjoy your time at the beach. You deserve it!
Notice my username...I just registered and right now that is exactly how I feel (wrong spelling I know, the correct was taken
I too just returned from a trip to my favorite place, Disney World, but it was full of anxiety and "issues" for me. Riding one of the rides I had an awful feeling of anxiety and could not wait for the ride to be over, and would not get on another ride after that. What further exacerbates my issue is I get uptight and next thing you know, I get gas build up and this seems to trigger heart palpitations which if you have ever had "extra heart beats" or had a beat skipped, for us anxiety sufferers it is totally debilitating! Well that is exactly what happened on this ride and I could not wait to get back to the "unrealistic" safety of our room..thankfully it was the end of the night anyhow, but it was an awful feeling and has made matters worse since I got home. I am tired of complaining to my cardiologist and having him say I am fine and those "extra" heartbeats are benign. I believe him and know he is a great doctor with my well being in mind, but I can't help but let those dog gone doom and gloom thoughts creep into my mind.
Well you are not alone...There are many of us and all we can do is fight through it. Life is a wonderful thing, and we have to live it to all its splendor, for one day it will be over for legit reasons, and I for one don't want to get to that end and have regrets! I want to be one of those that don't just simply tip toe over that line, but rather come in flying, sideways hooting and hollering knowing it was one hell of a ride!
Enjoy your trip to the beach, and know we are all out here rooting for you!