Fear/hyochondria of cardiac neurosis?
I daily feel like I know I'm going to die of heart disease from this stress/anxiety causing this cascade of anxiety/depression. I have felt passively, "that it would be best to just get diagnosed now of heart problems rather than a doc tell me I'm (as was said recently still as of now, & -- we don't know really do we if I am/will die this way as MOST men will die this way& odds are vs you to beat this stat? -- if you can "will" stress to create heart dis. if you TRULY think/believe this WIL be your fate) ok".
I'd rather a doc lie to me now & say "I AM heart dis. ridden", & thus "fulfill my beliefs" rather than tell me I'm healthy. I saw a cardio doc & he claims stress & fam. hist. are my risk factors for heart @ 50 y.o. male. But I think I'm convinced that, since I'm older & narcisstic & so will not want to aging, & see myslef decline. I am convinced I'll die from heart dis. & no one can help/convince me otherwise. Is this normal?
Also, about "controlling" this from happening, me being a huge a control freak, it is best to control my own destiny rather than letting my life/nature take its course. Maybe (as my mom used say before she died) that "I'll maybe not die like that but rather get hit by a bus & die this way", etc. but -- I think it'll be heart dis. -- & I don't want to get/or ever see this diagnosis (& thus worry/stress is hurting me now even W/OUT any sign YET of heart dis.).
I'm a mess I know & sorry to say all this but hoe you guys can help/relate here & understand this.
Last edited by feelingok; 07-30-2010 at 02:21 AM.