I will try to keep this short. If anyone has any advice I would greatly greatly appretiate it. i honestly dont know what to do.
Firstly I should say, going to a doctor is out of the question. nothing scares me more. I could go on and on explaining why, but short answer is that I could never bring myself to do it
Onto the problem...
I used to have VERY severe social anxiety. I couldnt even leave my house. As I said I am terrified of doctors and one day I just snapped and started forcing myself out there no matter how terrifying it was. I forced myself to do everything. The worst part about my anxiety is that It makes me throw up. the chest pain and everything else isnt THAT big of a deal, but the throwing up is what makes everything (Including the problem in the end of this story) so incredibly hard.
In the end im almost completely cured. I found a job, moved away from home, life was so amazing. I thought I was cured. Then It came back. I come to realise I only have anxiety when it comes to girls and sex.
I am a 24 year old virgin, which makes the anxiety even worse. ive had opportunities and ive seen things and theyve all generate the worst anxiety ive ever felt.
Now, everything comes back to sex. I dont want to go out with friends because im worried ill meet a girl and have to deal with the anxiety, among other things it affects
my theory is, if I can power through this, ill be 100% cured. but how do you power through THIS of all things when your throwing up and your anxiety is so crippling you cant think straight?
This is all brought up because the time has come. Ive met a girl, long story short, I have an open invitation, and with the conversations and things ive seen with her.... its is a completely legit one.
I soo want to do this, I HAVE to do this. but im honestly stuck... ive been able to do everything so far on my own but this is just too much. I think im actually nervous about getting nervous how horrible is that?
I honestly dont know what to do. I know theres the whole "dont be nervous if she likes you it wont matter" etc etc etc, but honestly I dont care if she likes me, I HAVE to do this to get this out of the way, I feel like this will fix everything. its the ONE thing that my anxiety thoughts always go back to.
I would love to hear any advice. this is the final fight for me. If I can somehow do this, I never have to think of anxiety again. ill finally be free