Being the anxiety sub forum this post is obviously about anxiety
I'm a 26 year old guy from Oxford who for a large part of his late teens and early 20's was a massive hypochondriac, with bouts of depression to boot. I was scared I had cancer and was continuously at the doctors looking for reassurance that I didn't have it. As well as this I was terrified of death as well as fearing for the life of my family members and my dog that I had had for a large portion of my life. The doctor put me on fluoxitine which never really helped and in an effort to get me out of this rut I stopped taking the pills and joined a local gym which seemed to help enormously - even when my dog passed away 4 years ago. I was a lot more positive and had a good outlook on life.
It was around this time that I found my current partner and since then I've been leading a very happy life. It was very rare that I thought about death and fear of being ill and when I did it was a passing thought and didn't stick around. However over the past two weeks my entire outlook has changed and I'm now back to how I was in my early 20s. Although I had started to think about death more frequently over the past few months it all started to come to a head nearly two weeks ago when I began to get discomfort in the backs of my thighs. I immediately put this down to sitting on my sofa too much that previous week and thought nothing of it at first until the pain started to get worse and I began to develop aches and discomfort in my arms, stomach, legs, thighs and behind my testicles. Immediately I began to think I had testicular or prostate cancer. I was so scared I went to an out of hours clinic where the doctor checked my temperature, chest, heart rate, blood pressure etc. (not the prostate or testicles though) and said it was probably a viral infection and that I should just rest - meaning no gym, which I hadn't been to that week anyway from feeling shattered.
This made me feel better for about a day before I began to worry again since the back ache and stomach ache were still present. Even though I thoroughly checked my testicles I was still terrified and kept flicking between thinking I had testicular and prostate cancer. I went back to the doctors yesterday morning who checked my stomach and abdomen again and made me do a few back stretches to see how I move and said I should continue to rest (because of my age she didn't think I had prostate cancer due to my age and how quickly to symptoms have come about) and I came away slightly relieved, falling asleep for a good few hours when I got home. That night I couldn't sleep and continued to think about cancer and the thought of dying and today my lower back has been killing and I've been shattered for most of the day, experiencing light headedness and still having no appetite (which i've not had for a week now). In the space of two weeks I've gone from someone who went to the gym three times a week, was continuously positive and happy and had a great appetite to someone that is exhausted, unhappy and fearing the worst from life.
I've been trying to think if I have anxiety again, why I am feeling like this? I turn 27 in a few weeks time, which might be worrying me since I'm no longer a whipper snapper
and will be starting film school in January which has caused to me get slightly stressed in regards to looking for funding and housing in order to go on the course.
I'm going to try and go back to the gym next week in an effort to get those endorphins circulating again and try and flush out those negative thoughts but am worried that I'm going to do more damage to my back and knees. I don't know if anyone can help but it's made me feel a little better writing this all down. A hearty congratulations to you if you stuck around to read it all