I have been mostly anxiety free for 3 years but a week ago i woke up with a really bad case of it and it has spiraled from there. I went on vacation with my family for a week and i was depressed and anxiety ridden the whole trip.
The anxiety seems to be at its worst when I wake up in the morning. I have only been getting a few hours of sleep the past few nights because I am woken up with anxiety. I take xanax to try and calm myself but it doesnt really seem to do that much. I am on zoloft and have been since my first attack 3 and a half years ago.
The main thing that bothers me is I do not feel like myself, if that makes sense. Like I do not feel like me at all. Usually I am happy and caring and love my family and friends and want to live life. But now I just get weird thoughts like is my family really my family or are they strangers. I know rationally they are my family, but my anxiety makes my mind freak out. Like I feel like I switched bodies with someone and this life is fake or something. I dont know if this makes sense but it is suh a scary thought because I am and always have been extremely close to my family. I am 30 now and have a fear of loosing my mind. Even when I get a few minutes of anxiety free moments I still feel the weird emotions and I know its a matter of time till the anxiety hits again.
I have always battles Pure O ocd with intrusive thoughts, which is another factor, but I know this is the wrong section to post that.
I just thought I was finished with this monster and now its back. I just want it to end.
Stress can trigger any type of mental episode. Have you been stressed out over something. And, do you take your medication regularly? If you missed a dose it can mess your body up. There is no long term cure for anixety and OCD. When I feel weird - I think about my family and I try to decrease my stress. I do breathing sessions and I "self talk" to myself. I try to counsel myself. It is great to talk to someone but therapy can be expensive. Try to relax and tell yourself - it will get better. And I often say, It could always be worse.
thank you so much for the replys. It helps knowing im not alone. I am on 100 mgs of zoloft and have been for years.
3 and a half years ago i had gotten my first real anxiety spike, didnt know what it was and thought i was going insane. my doctor assured me it was just anxiety and 3 months later i was anxiety free again. I have been on zoloft daily since then.
last week i drank some vodka and tequila the night before...not a lot... just enough to get buzzed... i should mention i do not drink and that was the first time i was buzzed/slightly drunk in many many years. the next day i woke up with horrible anxiety and instantly took 1mg of xanax before it got bad. it helped and the rest of the day was normal with no issues at all. i did not even think about the episode. I went to bed like any other night and the next day i woke up again with horrible anxiety... again took 1mg of xanax and left for vacation with my family and the rest of my day was good. then the next day i woke up again with it and this time it stayed with me all day and it hasnt gone away since. that was a week ago.
The anxiety i can deal with for the most part i guess. it is the scary thoughts that come with it. like, im not me, or i dont love my family, or i want to hurt them or i will never get better, or i will end up insane.
Now i would never harm anything. i try not to even hurt bugs, i usually free them rather then kill them. But these thoughts are here and they hurt me to my soul. I worry i am changing personalities into someone else and can never get back to me. if that makes sense.