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Fear of starting a new job

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Old 11-09-2010, 09:34 AM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Blue Springs, MO USA
Posts: 2
rlee102803 HB User
Fear of starting a new job

Hi, I'm new to this board & am seeking help for the overwhelming feeling of anxiety/fear that I feel when I think about starting my new job. I haven't worked in over 3 years to stay home with my daughter. I recently have been offered a new job, which I start November 15th.

This is the problem...for some odd reason I have this insane fear inside of me of even starting the job. My heart sinks & I feel hyper/anxious in a bad way. I have literally been offered jobs & just not showed up the first day because my panic & fear will make me turn the car around! I have not started many jobs & I feel awful about it because there are so many people who need a job. Not only that but this fear has also taken a toll on me financially & legally.

I don't know what to do, but it sounds & feels like a ridiculous disorder to have. I feel really stupid in the real world, although my college grades were straight A's. Before having my daughter 3 years ago I worked fulltime, so I know I "have it in me" to start a new job, but I am scared of that first day where you know nothing & everything makes you feel stupid.

Can anyone give me any insight into this? It's seriously ruining my life in many areas, we all have to work to pay our bills.

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anxietygirl2 (11-19-2010)
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:43 AM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 9
anxietygirl2 HB User
Re: Fear of starting a new job

Do NOT feel stupid or like this is ridiculous. This is SO common and in fact I am suffering from this also. I am not far enough along in my recovery to offer you suggestions but I want you to know that this is so so so so soooooooooo normal.

Old 11-19-2010, 06:21 AM   #3
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Blue Springs, MO USA
Posts: 2
rlee102803 HB User
Re: Fear of starting a new job

Thanks for the reply anxietygirl2. What kind of recovery are you going through for this problem, or is it an anxiety problem all around?

Old 11-19-2010, 11:06 AM   #4
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 9
anxietygirl2 HB User
Re: Fear of starting a new job

anxiety all around. I have not worked for 3 years and it is still a little ways away before I will be ready again.

Old 11-19-2010, 12:14 PM   #5
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 306
eddysmom1 HB Usereddysmom1 HB Usereddysmom1 HB Usereddysmom1 HB Usereddysmom1 HB Usereddysmom1 HB Usereddysmom1 HB User
Re: Fear of starting a new job

Hi, I was wondering, how did you make out on your first day of work?

I have anxiety myself, and when it was even worse, years ago, I would even pass out.

I was out for a year at that time and when I went back to work I literally shook like a leaf, but I stayed there. Each day would get a little better.

I hope you made out well on your first day.

Old 11-19-2010, 09:47 PM   #6
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 407
Leo123 HB UserLeo123 HB User
Re: Fear of starting a new job

I know what anxiety is and you obviously no doubt know what it is. Irrational and unwarranted fear.

Keep telling yourself your fear is irrational and you have nothing to worry about. Its not like your going to die if you make a mistake or mistakes when starting your new job.

Everyone has first day butterflies, but that shouldn't prevent you from sucking it up and diving in. Remind yourself you are doing this for your family and especially your new baby, who's going to be depending on this added income.

Every time the fear sets in, just remind yourself of your love for your family and that you are doing this for them.

And deep down you know the truth and that is once you make it through your first day, you are going to realize "hey, this is not as bad as I thought" and you are going to be fine. You obviously sound like an intelligent woman and you will get the hang of things in no time I'm sure. And even if you don't, so what, its not the end of the world.

Trust me you are in good shape, remind yourself there are worse anxiety's to have. Basically by sucking it up and facing your first day, you will be going through the best possible therapy (CBT) on the job.

Remember you must face the music the first day, it is the best possible therapy. Also remember that all employers expect and understand that there will be a learning curve and adjustment time needed for any new employee they hire.

I myself am a general manger of a 20 person company. Make that 22, because I just hired 2 new people in the last few weeks. And of course I'm understanding and patient with any new employee I hire, I don't expect them to be perfect and know everything, "how could they, they are new". If a new employee makes some mistakes I am completely tolerant of that.

So remember you must face the music to get over this. Remind yourself of the truth, and deep down you know the truth is, that you are making a mountain out of an ant hill. You also know that your anxiety is totally irrational. Lastly, the bottom line is that you are doing this for your family which should make this all the easier, every time that fear sets in, remind yourself over and over again who you are doing this for and that you love your family more than you fear this irrational anxiety.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but that is what you need right now, you must face this initial pain, because I know and deep down you know that after the first day you are going to say to yourself I can't believe I was so worried about that, and I can't wait to come into the office tomorrow, "working is fun".

Over and over again, don't let the anxiety win. Keep telling yourself these things, until you conquer that first day and no longer have too.

Let us know how the first day went, and if you have any questions

God Bless

Last edited by Leo123; 11-19-2010 at 10:01 PM.

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