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Old 02-04-2011, 03:40 PM   #1
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Bad fear of death

I am 67 and wasting my days here with the fear of dying...had heart tests yr and half ago because of this heart fear thing all was ok for someone my age, yet every twinge sends me into a full panic attack and no one can convice me that i am not dying soon..if it is not heart iam sure it is cancer..maybe all the media hype about every little thing can be cancer and every pain ,,shoulder , jaw, arm is a heart attack...not just tv it is radio and magazines books...i feel like hiding in a cave..i am just plain terrified of dying yet logic tells me there is nothing i can do about it..we all die and it can be at any moment.....i wish i could enjoy the moment and forget about all this but each and every day it is in my mind and every ache and pain terrifies me ...of course i have health problems fibromyalgia, ibs meniers so i get scared a lot. what can i do to stop these thoughts?

 
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Old 02-06-2011, 06:21 PM   #2
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Re: Bad fear of death

Are you taking any medications? It's an anxiety disorder. Maybe your doctor can help you with something. I know what you mean. It's horrible when you spend so long dying when you're not actually dying. What a waste.

 
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Old 02-06-2011, 08:04 PM   #3
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Re: Bad fear of death

i have panic and anxiety disorder and take Xanax as needed i do not want to get addicited..but it does nothing for my thoughts about death from every pain i get..i told my dr and he said.."we all die,,why worry about something you have no control over" hello.. that did nothing for me!!!!

 
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Old 02-25-2011, 02:30 AM   #4
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Re: Bad fear of death

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jada62 View Post
I am 67 and wasting my days here with the fear of dying...had heart tests yr and half ago because of this heart fear thing all was ok for someone my age, yet every twinge sends me into a full panic attack and no one can convice me that i am not dying soon..if it is not heart iam sure it is cancer..maybe all the media hype about every little thing can be cancer and every pain ,,shoulder , jaw, arm is a heart attack...not just tv it is radio and magazines books...i feel like hiding in a cave..i am just plain terrified of dying yet logic tells me there is nothing i can do about it..we all die and it can be at any moment.....i wish i could enjoy the moment and forget about all this but each and every day it is in my mind and every ache and pain terrifies me ...of course i have health problems fibromyalgia, ibs meniers so i get scared a lot. what can i do to stop these thoughts?
I can relate to your fear i am also 67 and have wasted many years
with this obsession I dont like taking medicine and i dont like going to
doctors because they might find something wrong

i think i am the only one with this
i wish i knew what to take or do it is always their

Last edited by Administrator; 07-17-2012 at 02:34 AM.

 
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Old 02-26-2011, 01:15 PM   #5
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Re: Bad fear of death

i do not wish anyone to have this but i am relieved to hear i am not the only one..my friends do not fear death..and i think that is weird!!!how could u not fear it..no one has ever come back to tell us what it is like!!! iam wasting my days fearing death i hate it. i have a precious Lab who is like my child and i look at her and cry thinking any day now i am going to leave her alone with strangers who do not know what she wants>>>what sence is life when at minute it can be over??? i cannot get this at all

 
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Old 03-13-2011, 07:39 PM   #6
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Re: Bad fear of death

[QUOTE=Jada62;4694078 iam wasting my days fearing death i hate it. i have a precious Lab who is like my child and i look at her and cry thinking any day now i am going to leave her alone with strangers who do not know what she wants>>>what sence is life when at minute it can be over??? i cannot get this at all[/QUOTE]

First, I can relate.

I had a little dog I adored. When she was about 10 years old I started grieving losing her. Not to the degree that it crippled my life, but I did start thinking and preparing that I would suffer so terribly when she died. Well, she lived to be just shy of 19 years old and was healthy until the last 3 weeks. So I wasted 9 years of just releasing that fear and enjoying every minute of her.

Once upon a time I was talking to a co-worker. He noticed a "support our troops" magnet on my car and it make him mad. He was in Viet Nam and did not get any "support". So I listened to him and then I said "So it would make your experience better if you knew that all those people coming home were treated just as badly?"

That's kind of what this reminds me of. Making the time now bad by fretting over your future death isn't going to make your future death any "better". Does that make sense? I mean, if we could find a way to get out of this alive, it would be different. But this single moment in time if all you have. So if you spend it fretting over dying, your mind and spirit have already died. It just hasn't caught up to your body yet.

And I say this as someone else who have a great fear of death. It's been coming at me fast and furious. In the past year I have lost 3 immediate family members and 2 of my inner circle of friends. And they were all "livers". They were all out there, living life. 1 died very young at 34, 2 under 60 and 2 were almost 90. There is no rhyme or reason. So I'm trying to do a better job of taking control and beating back death. Because even if it gets me on Wednesday, it won't have my Monday and Tuesday.

Try. One day at a time. Try. Living might become your habit.

 
Old 03-13-2011, 08:24 PM   #7
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Re: Bad fear of death

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jada62 View Post
i do not wish anyone to have this but i am relieved to hear i am not the only one..my friends do not fear death..and i think that is weird!!!how could u not fear it..no one has ever come back to tell us what it is like!!! iam wasting my days fearing death i hate it. i have a precious Lab who is like my child and i look at her and cry thinking any day now i am going to leave her alone with strangers who do not know what she wants>>>what sence is life when at minute it can be over??? i cannot get this at all
I am considerably older than you but I rarely think about dying and I really believe that there is no after life so that is another less thing to worry about.
Mind you I still look first at the obits in the local paper to see who I have survived. There is always a certain amount of "Schadenfreude" in this outlook,ie a bit of inner pleasure in this case knowing you survived at least a bit longer than Fred or whoever. What did impress me a few years ago was a gentleman in your position and he also had a dog. His doc persuaded him to visit nursing homes and just talk to the folks who were shut ins. His dog was a great hit and every one looked forward to his visits. His whole otlook changed after a month or so. He was so surprised that how happy very old were and they rarely talked about death.
James

 
Old 03-14-2011, 03:58 PM   #8
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Re: Bad fear of death

thank you so much all for excellent advise..i am really going to try to apply it to my days of fear and anxiety...i am also form Ohio and this winter has been so brutal.too much down time too much time to think about things!!!!

 
Old 03-23-2011, 11:07 PM   #9
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Re: Bad fear of death

Hi Jada,
Death is a reality and no one can deny this reality.
Everyone will expire when his/her days will be counted. Nobody knows when and how so instead of thinking about death why don't you think about making not only your life happy but others also.
Do make yourself busy in some activity so you won't get enough time to think.
Do spend time with your loved ones,
Watch any good movie (prefer comedy).
Do have healthy diet and try to get rid of medicines.
__________________
Dawood

 
Old 03-29-2011, 12:45 AM   #10
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Re: Bad fear of death

I was once afraid of dying. This was only until recently. I always thought about death and how we would just end become nothing. It never made much sense to me. How can some of us have so much love to give and do so much for this Earth and simply just disappear? In the recent years, I have become extremely involved in animal rescue and rehab and although I have been very close to nature, I recently became even more close and gave up eating animal products for the sake of my health, the Earth and all sentient life on this Earth- all animals. Around this time, I became aware of someone who had passed away who would be about the same age I am now, just a few years older. The more I learned about this man, the more haunted I became because I learned that we are EXACTLY alike. I've never been religious and wouldn't have even called myself spiritual but if I had a soul mate, it would be him. So, the more I learned about him and was so touched by who he was, what a beautiful, kind soul he was, the more I felt alone and far from true love. This all sounds crazy but I mourned, yes for this person I had never met in my life but with whom I felt an intense connection and before I knew it his soul was communicating with me! Sure I may sound crazy but I don't care, I have always been a very skeptical scientist and questioned everything but he left me with no questions, every time I doubted it was real he proved me wrong. I have always been very emotional and sensitive and have felt a bit different from others who are not that way but perhaps this is my soul that makes me this way? He came into my life and communicated with me in many ways. He would have wildlife- which he loved, approach me when I thought and cried for him, he would make things happen with electrical appliances in my house, which were perfectly fine before and after I thought deeply of him and mourned for him, he came to visit me in my dreams, and it was always in the most beautiful, colorful, warm, and natural settings, it felt like pure love. He only visited me when I was in a very dangerous and deep depression and now I see it was to keep me going and give me hope and I am no longer afraid of death because I know I'll be with him. Something remarkable and similar happened when my cat of 21 years, my childhood bestfriend, passed away and I was hopeless, she came back to give me hope and the love we shared survived through death. Love never dies. Please remember that and you will be just fine. For your time here on Earth try to love as much as possible, set up a plan for your sweet dog, to make sure he will be fine when you move on, and you will see your doggie again, I'm sure you will be able to comfort him from afar, but make sure to find him a good home before you pass. Please also be kind to all life, all animals, don't eat animals or harm them. What I've learned is love is EVERYTHING, the most important thing on this Earth and once we die, we will be reminded of that. Be brave and follow your heart. I am a changed woman, and still a scientist, just a more hopeful and openminded one

 
Old 03-29-2011, 07:56 AM   #11
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Re: Bad fear of death

wow great reply made me feel better....i wish someone could comfort me as the kind soul that brought you comfort..i must remember as you said "love never dies" it is the one thing that the demon evil death will never take away.

 
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:36 AM   #12
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Re: Bad fear of death

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wow great reply made me feel better....i wish someone could comfort me as the kind soul that brought you comfort..i must remember as you said "love never dies" it is the one thing that the demon evil death will never take away.
Please let me know if you would like to talk more. I'm still amazed and touched til this day. When I see a picture of him or a video of him I have these intense mixed emotions. He's reminded me that there is hope and beautiful, loving souls do exist and never go away. Although I still cry because I sleep without him at night, my feelings of sadness and loneliness always end with an intense feeling of love and happiness when I remind myself that he is still here and will come back to me when I need him and we will be together once I die. He never failed to remind me of that. I really do think that every kind, loving soul has a soul mate, yours will be waiting for you Jada, you may just not realize who he is yet.

 
Old 03-19-2012, 06:36 AM   #13
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Re: Bad fear of death

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jada62 View Post
I am 67 and wasting my days here with the fear of dying...had heart tests yr and half ago because of this heart fear thing all was ok for someone my age, yet every twinge sends me into a full panic attack and no one can convice me that i am not dying soon..if it is not heart iam sure it is cancer..maybe all the media hype about every little thing can be cancer and every pain ,,shoulder , jaw, arm is a heart attack...not just tv it is radio and magazines books...i feel like hiding in a cave..i am just plain terrified of dying yet logic tells me there is nothing i can do about it..we all die and it can be at any moment.....i wish i could enjoy the moment and forget about all this but each and every day it is in my mind and every ache and pain terrifies me ...of course i have health problems fibromyalgia, ibs meniers so i get scared a lot. what can i do to stop these thoughts?
Hi Jade I know what you are going through, i am the same , every pain i get is something serious, i just cant relax and enjoy my life as all i think about is my fear of death , im even scared to leave my home or even sleep but im guessing we are gonna be pretty miserable if we carry on this way but i dont know how to change

 
Old 04-27-2012, 11:36 AM   #14
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Re: Bad fear of death

Dear Jada,
I am not a DR by any means, but I had a friend, athletic, vibrant, healthy 30 years old girl who all of a sudden developed similar symptoms.
On top of everything, all her other friends, family members didn't want to deal with her anymore, they thought she is just got crazy and worries too much about herself.
This is a psychological/mental disease, you need big help. This is not the way to live. I wonder if your DR is good enough, knowledgeable to be able to monitor you, to change meds if needed?
My friend needed to adjust her medication for the first year almost every month. I cant even tell you how many medications was changed and adjusted. What works for one, doesn't mean will work for other, so you need a good doctor who will have very individual approach to your case.
If you on meds and still have same issues - it means your drugs not working for you.
Do you get any therapy? My friend benefited from therapy as much as she did from medication. She was afraid of dying, but therapy helped her to realize that this is just a disorder, she is not dying, not to be scared about that.
About your Fibro, IBS, Meniers disorder - let me just say this: you are one lucky lady that this is only what you have. I have all 3 of them since very young, from Meniere lost hearing at age 25 in one ear, but this is so minor to compare to other serious diseases I have , that I would be the happiest lady on earth if this would be just it. So you dont have to worry of dying from minor, very common conditions you have. You just need help to keep your anxiety/panic under control that you can enjoy life, can enjoy relationships, can enjoy and not to think of death, you owe it to yourself, you deserve better, you hear me sweetie?
Same way my dear friend lives for 15 years already and remembering the time when she was same as you as living hell. She is on right meds, with right Doctor and therapist, back to sports, back to enjoying her life and even had 2 kids!
God bless your souls, all the best to you
Moldova

 
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