I'm really not sure where else to turn, I'm having panic attacks and almost life rendering anxiety...so I'm hoping someone here can maybe help me relax.. maybe relate.
So for the past 8 months I've been having issues with my back, went to a chiropractor, then that wasn't helping so we did x-rays and they diagnosed me with scoliosis. Now I have a twist at the base of the spine and a slight curve. Ever since I've had muscle spasms/knots on my left side of my mid/low back that do not want to seem to subside. Most of the time it doesn't cause me pain, but sitting can be a little irritating. Through this time I've been combating a ton of stress from my job, basically because I absolutely hate it but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. There's absolutely no other jobs around here, which is why I'm moving soon.. but anyway. I've been having a lot of built up stress, anxiety, and depression because of my work situation, my home situation, and my back. I'm a hypochondriac big time so I've been through many pages trying to diagnose myself with whatever symptoms I'm having.
Starting 2 weeks ago on a Monday leading up to this point I was carrying a 'f everything' attitude, everything felt doomed and without purpose. I felt like i was in a bubble where I was going absolutely nowhere. I could barely stay at work. I noticed slowly my back spasm's started getting worse and effecting me more. I dealt with it but it raised my anxiety quite a bit. Every night I had vivid dreams about the world ending up to this point. Then Sunday night I'm trying to take my mind off things, have a few people over to hang out. They wind up drinking and doing their own thing but as I'm laying on the couch I feel my feet start to feel like tiny pins and needles poking around inside. This made me really anxious as it was quite onset and I really didn't know how to deal with it. I just assumed that it would go away. When I kept moving though, I wouldn't feel them so I was constantly pacing and tapping my feet on the floor. Later in the night I head to bed, I'm having full fledged panic attacks about this which only seem to make the issue worse. I continued to lie in bed and surf the internet for the symptoms only assuming I have a deadly disease.. bam.. more anxiety on my back. Little to say that night I got barely any sleep as my heart was racing most of the night and I just assumed I was dying.
Monday morning, wake up, still the issue is gone until I start thinking about it, And again, the anxiety sits in again. I somehow make it through my work day, constantly having my feet moving to avoid the feeling. The day seemed to go by extremely slow.
I head to bed again, still in panic figuring that whatever it was that was going on with my was going to kill me.. convinced of this I thought about death, and how I would die quite a bit. I turn on the TV and watch a few shows to finally pass out to.
Tuesday, the issue is still there, I get ready in the morning and head to work. This time I'm just overwhelmed by thoughts of impending doom, I assume I have MS or some serious illness. As my anxiety level raises throughout the day it gets the pins and needles/muscle twitches get worse. Eventually my face starts to twitch and my forehead feels funny, then I get the flight tingles down the length of my pink fingers. I can't control it anymore so I leave work early and call my doctor. He takes me in, examines me and cannot find anything physical or any red flags that could indicate MS or anything serious even after describing exactly what I was feeling. At first he assumed my muscle spasm in my back could have been a Kidney stone but went to speak with his colleagues and reconsiders. Then he goes through a bunch of questions and comes to the conclusion that I seem to be suffering from a lot of anxiety/panic attacks and seemed quite depressed and sheepish. I notice during this time talking to him most of my tingling/pins disappeared, so I accept the diagnosis still unsure as to why I'm experiencing a physical manifestation of symptoms instead of just mentally being bombarded. Towards the end of the nigh 90% of my feeling subside but still some tingling/pins/twitches on and off.
I take a 4 days hiatus from work and seem to improve 100% after the first 2 days off work.
But I still seem now to keep getting the tingling/pins every now in then pretty much only in my feet. Sometimes it almost feels as if my feet are wet for a second or I have a cold spot in between the tingles. I'm not sure if I'm just having various issues from constantly looking up symptoms of diseases I think I may have, and that the anxiety/mental factor is playing a key role. Or if something is seriously wrong with my. I'm just depressed to no end, constant panic attacks. My doctor doesn't see a need to give me an MRI.
I can't seem to shake the fact that I constantly feel like I'm dying of some disease. It's just ruining my quality of life, and I really don't know where to begin or how to handle it.
I've recently started seeing a Therapist. And a Psychiatrist prescribed me klonopin for my anxiety which seems to take away most of my symptoms/stopping my panic attacks and they also want me to start taking Celexa as an anti-depressing/anxiety which I'm reluctant to take because of all the anti-depressent controversy and their negative side effects