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Old 10-28-2011, 02:48 PM   #1
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Exclamation I am going mad, Don't feel real.


God where to start.. Had a bad bad few month's, I won't go into detail but it has been terrible and stressful and just a nightmare! Anyway after the terrible few months I had been a bit down for about two weeks, and then something else happened, which got me even more down, and now for about the past 5 days, I have been badly badly anxious, really badly, I feel like I am not real, like the world isn't real, I have panic attacks too, I feel so down, I used to suffer quite badly from anxiety about 4years ago but I thought I had got over it, now its back and even worse and i swear I am going mad. I mean , How can a person worry they arent real? Have panic attacks over it? I look in the mirror and don't feel real, I went to the shop today, When i had came out I thought to myself 'who knows if i did go in there really, it might not of happened,none of it is real' Then I panic that I am going to black out at any moment and either not wake up,or wake up and be somewhere where I have no idea where I am or who I am. I Truly Believe I am going mental.. I know none of this makes sense, Its hard to explain it. But i feel like I am in a big dark hole full of anxiety and panic and I cant escape. I have been forcing myself to try and act normal,to go out and everything but nothing helps...And it makes me worry more .I feel terrified and I have no idea what is going on and I miss feeling normal,and not worrying about EVERYTHING. I have been reading up on depersonalization and, I may have a few of the symptoms but not all,I have a hell of a lot more then people who have that,have. Please help. Does anybody know what is wrong with me .... I just want to sleep my life away now,If this is what its going to feel like. I have no energy and am sleeping so much, I don't WANT to get up in the mornings to feel this way and have another day full of panic and worry and not knowing who or what I am.


Last edited by ms_mod; 10-28-2011 at 03:58 PM. Reason: Removed banned words. When a word shows up like this *** in your posts use of that word is banned on this website. Ms_Mod

 
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Old 10-28-2011, 04:04 PM   #2
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

I can't relate to exactly what you're thinking but I know what panic attacks feel like. They suck. Do you have meds? If not, go grab some Ativan or sometinng asap. It helps a great deal with the panic when it happens. And I would certainly see someone about your thoughts of questioning your reality. Besides medicaiton just talking to someone is incredibly help. Spend some time finding a good psychiatrist whom you trust and begin to see them weekly. It was a huge help to me. I have a lot of experience with anxiety and panic.

 
Old 10-28-2011, 04:31 PM   #3
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

I want to tell you that I am sorry for your pain. When I was a young girl, teenaged years into my mid twenties, I suffered from exactly what you are referring to it as, depersonalization. I felt totally removed from my settings. I would feel like a ghost, almost. Walking through life without feeling as if I was connecting to my world. That feeling only made me feel more and more anxious, obviously. I would drive somewhere and not remember getting there. I would feel as if I was in a dream, much of my waking hours. It scared me but I learned to live with it.
I am much older now and still occasionally struggle with a bit of anxiety, but the depersonalization is totally gone. What I recommend to you is what I wish someone recommended to me, if I dared tell them about it. Go see your doctor and talk about your anxiety. Speak to a therapist who deals with anxiety issues. Don't just get put on medication. The upsets that you dealt with before you started feeling the depersonalization have to be brought out into the light so that you can heal. Once you do, your depersonalization will go away.
I know that right now it doesn't feel like this, but I am telling you that if you get the help you need you will get much, much better. Don't delay. I totally know what you're going though, and you are NOT crazy. Panic and anxiety can do really tough things to us. In the meanwhile, start exercising and cut out all of your caffeine. This will definitely help!!
blessings, Sue

Last edited by slenderella; 10-28-2011 at 04:32 PM.

 
Old 10-30-2011, 06:48 AM   #4
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

This is horrible though,it is like i am stuck in a world of nothing but fear. I can't do anything without over thinking way too much,and getting myself in a mess. I don't enjoy anything anymore, I am miserable and anxious and scared all day, I hate it. I just want to sleep all the time because atleast then I don't have to deal with feeling this way. I Feel as If i am going to end up in a mental home. I get all hot and clammy, and panicky and feel sick. Like i do something and think 'is this really me doing this' and then i spend ages wondering who i am, and how my mind can know how to do simple things like sending a text message or turning over the tv channel. I am going mad for sure..

 
Old 10-30-2011, 10:21 AM   #5
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

Jayne, Have you tried any type of medications or counseling for this? There is a world of help out there for people like us, we just have to be strong enough to seek it out. I would suggest making an appointment with your doctor and telling them what you are going through. They will probably give you medication to help you and possibly suggest therapy. Take advantage of the things that are there to help, you don't have to live your life in misery every day. Good luck! Fox

 
Old 10-30-2011, 10:24 AM   #6
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

I have had Anxiety and depression for most of my life, And I have been on medication for this since about the age of 14. I am now 24.. I have been to doctors before when I have felt funny etc, But it hasn't been this bad, that i can remember anyway.

 
Old 10-30-2011, 11:14 AM   #7
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

I was diagnosed at 14 with GAD and Panic Disorder myself. I have been dealing with this for 25 years now. I have taken Zoloft, off and on, for the last 10 years and it works extremely well for me. I just recently started taking it again, (a little over 3 weeks ago) because i'd be fine for a year or two without meds, and then all of the sudden it would return with a vengeance. I plan on just staying on it now, i'd rather take a pill every day then deal with panic attacks. I would suggest an SSRI to help you, and also some type of counseling or therapy. I've tried the CBT, self help books, etc..... and none of it helped me unfortunately. The only thing that works for me is medication. If you choose the route of medication, make sure if you are prescribed an SSRI or SNRI, you ask for xanax or something to help you through the initial side effects. It really makes it easier because of the increase in anxiety at the start of SSRI's. If there's anything else I can help you with, don't hesitate to ask. Fox

Last edited by Foxxii; 10-30-2011 at 11:15 AM.

 
Old 10-30-2011, 07:43 PM   #8
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Wink Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

You're not going mad, Jayne. It's just anxiety and jumbled up nerves along with some mental fatigue. The only thing I've found that helps this is medication. Medication, medication, medication. SSRIs and Benzos are the usual treatment for this. Good luck.

 
Old 11-02-2011, 12:01 AM   #9
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

i have this exact thing. Comes and goes depending on what kinds of stress are in my life. That alone tells me it's based solely in the anxiety and not some horrible thing happening to me physically or otherwise.

The things that helped me most were to reach out to the 'real' world, even if it doesnt seem to do much at first. i used more of my senses; for example... i took baths most nights with herbal bath salts. i learned a breathing technique called the calming breath that i used often. i found forums like this one to talk to others in a similar situation. i went for bike rides almost every day. i called friends and went over to their places to just hang out and talk. anything i could think of to reach out, because i felt like i was sinking into myself. And it was (and is) a horrible horrible feeling. Everything seems unreal and you get lost and tied up in your own anxious thoughts.

Therapy was somewhat helpful and i joined a support group as well. One thing that really pushed it over the edge in a good way was getting some xanax. They will tell you all kinds of negative things about the drug but i cant tell you how much of a life saver it is for me. And i'm medicine-phobic.

Hang in there. You're not alone.

 
Old 11-02-2011, 12:04 AM   #10
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

Oh and PS... as Frank says... you're not going crazy. Talk to ppl here, read about anxiety symptoms and you'll see it is just a horrible effect of the anxiety some ppl can get. i literally thought i would need to be taken away and locked up for life because i was leaving reality. Through talking to a licensed professional psychologist, in particular, he assured me otherwise. That helped alot.

 
Old 11-03-2011, 01:32 AM   #11
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

You aren't crazy...you are just stressed out and overly sensitized due to all the events in your life. I know that probably seems simplistic but its the truth.
Imagine if you had just gotten mugged, or been the victim of some terrible crime. For days, weeks, or months, you would be feeling exactly as you are now: hyper-alert, anxious, unsure of yourself or your surroundings, questioning, nervous, traumatized. Only if you have been the victim of a crime, you would probably think those feelings were normal considering what you have been through.
People with anxiety.....because we are so sensitive....react to stress in our life stronger than most people. To our nervous system and to our minds, a change in routine, or job related stress, or marital stress, or any stress at all can be just as traumatic to us as if we had been the victim of a crime. But we don't realize that and instead of taking time to re-group and de-stress and take care of ourselves, we keep going and going with our life wondering why we feel so scared and like we must be going crazy. So the disorder just keeps getting worse.
I recommend to anybody suffering from a debilitating anxiety disorder to listen to your symptoms. They aren't there for no reason. They are there because you are at the end of your rope. You won't go crazy..that's impossible. But until you deal with the stress in your life and learn better coping techniques, your circumstances aren't going to change.
Anxiety disorders are a symptom....not a disease. The "disease" is the way we think and cope and keep pushing ourselves too far. But it is a "disease" that can be corrected if you just learn who you are and eliminate the toxic thinking that contributes so strongly to the problem. We will always be sensitive but if we keep our baseline stress level at a minimum and make a point to relax and take care of ourselves, when something stressful comes into our lives....we will be better equipped to handle it and it won't be like the last raindrop in the bucket that makes it overflow.

 
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Old 11-03-2011, 09:12 PM   #12
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Thumbs up Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

Excellent post, young lady. Good advice for us all.

 
Old 11-05-2011, 04:35 PM   #13
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

Thanks Frank...I love your screen name!

 
Old 11-05-2011, 05:05 PM   #14
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

Pretty far down the rabbit hole there bud. I think the best thing when something like that happens to me is to simply get out with your friends. I find doing something socially constructive like running with a friend is a great way to keep things in perspective. My one friend and I like to go do parkour and simultaneously talk about interesting things like the progression of science, politics, life, etc.

Last edited by ms_mod; 11-06-2011 at 04:25 AM. Reason: Replaced banned word. If a word show up like this *** in your post, use of that word is banned on this website. Ms_Mod

 
Old 11-05-2011, 07:19 PM   #15
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Re: I am going mad, Don't feel real.

What is giving you anxiety , what are you worrying about? Those are the root of your problem, take breathing relaxation , and notting is wrong with you , were ever it is that is bothering you, give it to God he will take care of it , notting in life is more important that your sanity ! You are letting the evil win.you need to come out of this , you are the only one that can do that , be strong you can do it ! Take care

Last edited by ms_mod; 11-06-2011 at 04:26 AM.

 
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