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Old 03-07-2012, 10:34 AM   #1
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Please help me, I'm hopless.

I keep getting weird symptoms!!!!!!! Last night I was laying in my bed and I felt this weird feeling my lower leg, it felt like when you gargle water but in my leg, like a fart feeling. It tends to happen every once and then. I want to know if this is normal or if I might have a neurological problem. & Also last night I was laying on my side leaning on my arm and I didn't know how it happened but I knocked out for a couple of minutes and when I woke up It sounded like someone hit me in the head or something but with no pain. And my body was shaking inside for a couple minutes also. I'm really concerned about my health. I don't want to go to the doctor because she will tell me to take my pills which I don't want to ): And also something that has really been affecting me is I keep thinking about death, like it's a constant thought throught the day & I hate that! I can't live normal, I wish I didn't think about that it makes me miserable.. it sucks.

 
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Old 03-07-2012, 11:13 AM   #2
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

the leg thing is probably just a nerve tick, like some people get in their eyes...you know...just keeps jumping for a minute or so. and when you nodded up....your sudden wakeup may just have jarred you a bit. doc's always tell you to wake up slowly so you can get your bearings. you're just experiencing anxiety. everything is exaggerated. i know what it's like to be chronically anxious and i do the same thing....but first...i question....did whatever happen kill me.....no....so i guess it's nothing. thoughts of death are common with people with anxiety. you need to keep your mind busy with something that you enjoy doing. someone told me this....what you fear, you might very well create. so you can see how the anxious mind works. we think about our biggest fears and all of a sudden...we have them all. anything tramatic happen to you in the past couple of years?

 
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Old 03-07-2012, 09:15 PM   #3
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

You sure know what to say to make me feel better!! thank you. and I've suffered with anxiety since childhood but I have never got panic attacks! and it all started after I lost my sister 2 years ago. Now I'm just a tottally unhappy differen't person ): I was going to therapy but I felt like it wasn't working out for me. I feel as if this site is a cure for my anxiety it helps alot!! && what do you mean by "what you fear, you might very well create."

 
Old 03-08-2012, 06:27 AM   #4
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

you're welcome. i'm glad i can help. my panic disorder started six months after my father died. truth is...i felt guilt because i thought that i should have been there for him and tried to help him. my father was an alcoholic. i was his baby...kind of favourite, so i thought i should have made him stop drinking and the fact is...we can't make people do what they don't want to. i've come to terms with his death since i've realized that. what i meant by what you fear, you might very well create? think about it.....you fear anxiety and panic attacks...right? because of your fear....instead of going with the feelings, you try to fight them...therefore actually causing them to happen. anxiety happens in steps...first you feel edgy...then you wonder why. then your heart starts to race...and you wonder why....they you start getting weird feelings...and you wonder why. every time you anticipate that something is wrong....you bring your level of anxiety higher, until it's a full blown panic attack. what you need to do, when you just start to feel edgy...is sit down....do some relaxing breathing exercises....and listen to your breathing, until you bring that level of edginess down. change your thoughts. think of things that bring you happiness. in a full blown anxiety attack, our minds tend to go right to thinking that we're going to die. we don't....we're just trying to flee from our thoughts instead of compromising with them. i'm sorry to hear that you lost your sister. it's sad that life is a cycle and we lose people in our life. i'm sure your sister would want you to live your life instead of focusing on her death. if it helps...i truly believe that our forms...or bodies die...but our energy doesn't. so...in fact...we still live. in the past ten years or so...i've lost my mother, step-father and all my family pets. but i have such fond and precise memories of them....it's like they're still with me. don't waste your life on worry, avaleen....just live!

 
Old 03-08-2012, 06:39 AM   #5
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

Here is a famous quote that I like to tell myself in moments of deepest fear or sorrow:

"Why would we want to fear death? Doing so will not keep us from dying, but it will keep us from living life fully."
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facing, accepting, floa-ting, letting time pass

Current medication: Paxil 40mg, Mirtazapin 20mg

 
Old 03-08-2012, 06:53 AM   #6
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

you've got it sweetie......just live!

 
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Old 03-08-2012, 11:06 AM   #7
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

boobootwo: wow thanks for advice. I am soo sorry to hear what you have to go through, I can only imagine what you are feeling. My condolonces go out to you. My panic disorder started six months after my sister died or maybe a year I'm not sure. When at first I started with my panic disorder I was really bad. I would look at people and they seemed dead to me, like how my sisters body looked like. I was real bad. I thought I was going to go crazy. And at times I still feel the same way, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and start touching my face as if I don't know I'm alive. I look at people differn't and life most of all. My whole life has changed it's crazy. And I also have a 6 month old daughter and I just feel like life is moving to fast for me. It's weird because when I get happy I tell myself "Am I going to die because I'm happy?" It's like I don't want to be happy but then I do. Or I don't want to go to places because I fear like somehing is going to happen, I've took trips to the ER because of my panic disorder. And now when I feel like something hurts me, stomache, head, leg etc I start to think it's something bad like internal bleeding. Ugh I'm soooo weak ): Are you seeing a therapist or taking medications for your Anxiety.

 
Old 03-08-2012, 12:46 PM   #8
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

the reason i tell you my story is because i don't want you ending up like me. my mother was kind of chronic throughout my young childhood. back then...women tended to depend on their husbands for strength and my dad worked in detroit, so mom was home a lot with us kids. there was a tornado in our city, not too far from where we lived and i saw the terror in my mother. my dad was at work at the time. my father and mother both suffered panic. my dad drank to sedate and my mother worried about him all the time, but had to take care and make sure the bills were paid etc. she found strength because she knew she has to raise 4 daughters. i always thought my mom was strong....but when my dad died, she insisted that my younger sister lived with her. she never wanted to be alone. she married another man about 4 years after my father died and he was well to do. she knew he would take care of her and he did. he was 16 years her senior and although i know she loved him in a way....it was more of a companionship thing than real love. he went into a nursing home about 3 years before my mother died and she wanted me to move in with her because of her fears and she started getting panic attacks. i told her...i'm only 5 minutes away. needless to say....i've battled with panic disorder my whole life and feel i really never got the chance to live...other than when i was young. but...they say we all have a purpose in life and i guess mine was to look after the older and dying, which i did. i never married nor had children and live alone with really no communications from any of my sisters since they're all married and have their own lives. life is like a box of chocolates....you never know what you're gonna get...lol. i saw a psychiatrist and psychologist for years. i weight trained when i was in my early 40's and never felt better in my life than then. i even went to classes for cognitive restructuring. lessons to help change your thoughts. i find that helping others, helps me. i speak from experience believe me. i'm 55 now and was diagnosed with sjogrens syndrome after my mom died and fibromyalgia and copd....oh....and how can i forget the dreaded menopause too...lol. avalee....trust me on this....you've got to stop being a perfectionist, stop trying to take complete control of your life....because you can't control it. life just happens and we're here to live and love and learn. show your child all of the wonderful things that you would love to see in yourself. wake up with a stretch and a smile and thank god that you've been blessed with your child and your life. don't sweat the small stuff....okay?

 
Old 03-09-2012, 10:12 AM   #9
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

Avaleen G - I could have written your posts!!! I do EXACTLY the same thing! I constantly think about death and dying and have literally diagnosed myself with every deadly disease on the planet! I got to a point where it was all consuming and I would wake up with panic attacks and not be able to sleep or think about it during the day instead of working etc. I have had anxiety/panic attacks for years but became a stay at home mom (well I work 2 jobs from home now) and since then, it's increased dramatically! I worry all the time! I finalyl went to see my dr who told me I have GAD with panic attacks and that I'm an irrational worrier (so true!) She prescribed me zoloft and Ativan. I take the zoloft daily, only 50mg and Ativan as needed, only needed it the first week. I still think irrationally and hoping it stops! I am so sorry about your sister, I can't even imagine that pain.

Jenn

 
Old 03-09-2012, 10:33 AM   #10
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

nope...that was my mom that passed away in 2010 and then my step dad last august. i still have all of my sisters, we just hardly ever talk. and of course with my conditions, i seldom ever feel good, so it's kinda hard for me to have a social life. i'm working part time right now, but struggle with that too. oh well....only 9 1/2 more years before i can retire...lol. are you married jenn?

wendi

 
Old 03-09-2012, 10:39 AM   #11
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

OH sorry about your mom Wendi, and your stepdad, just awful. Yeah for 9.5 years.. something to look forward to! Yes, I am married with three children under 7 so it's a wonder I can think about anything!!!

 
Old 03-09-2012, 05:24 PM   #12
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Re: Please help me, I'm hopless.

sorry jenn....i thought you were avaleen...lol. was reading the post and didn't look to see that you were someone else. sorryyyy.....

 
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