Hi guys. I haven't been to this website for a long time. Unfortunately I have been dealing with what I think is anxiety. Please let me know if anyone can relate to these feelings / symptoms.
I just got into a two year film-making program. That is my dream: to become a full-fledged filmmaker.
At the beginning of the year I was having a good time and getting along with everyone. I was shy, but I was functioning fine. However, it has been over a month now and I have slowly become socially isolated. I feel like I cannot hold a conversation with people in my class, nor with the instructors. Everyone around me gets anxious when they talk to me - and I get extremely anxious if they show any sign of disliking me.
The difficult thing is: that I want to get along with people so badly, yet I cannot seem to. I feel physically ill when I am around people in my classes. Initially I thought it was blood sugar issues (because I rarely ate), but now that I am eating regularly - and it still happens - I have a feeling it could be anxiety.
I have suffered from social anxiety in the past. Usually I am able to function - but I just feel like I'm passing out lately. I have felt physically ill - even where I have to go to the bathroom a lot, and coughing because I am short on breath. I feel warm sometimes, where my head feels really hot - kind of like a fever. I sit down and try to write something and I get so distracted. My grades are dropping.
It is vital that I can work in a team - and I feel as though I am becoming a detriment to it. Why do I feel like this? Am I like this? It's not good.
Another thing that bothers me is - there is a person in our class who is getting along with everyone in the class but me. She is a leader type - and I personally see myself in the same regard. She makes me anxious - when I am around her and she is having fun with people in class I feel threatened and I get tense and start to shake - my lips twitch, my speech starts to quiver.
Anyways, please let me know what you think.