ok i spend most of my life at home i get paid to take care of my little brother and the only times i leave the house are to get groceries with my father or appointments/school things for my brothers. I did take the bus to drop my time slip off, but since its so cold my father has been taking me to drop it off. I don't talk for most of the day until my little brothers get home at 3.
I would like to leave the house and go places but i keep talking my self out of it, like: there is no reason to do that, or its to cold, ect.
If i'm with someone else there is no problem. but when i'm alone have to force myself to go out.(usually i get as far as putting my shoes on and thats it) I don't leave the yard the farthest i go when ive gone outside by myself was to the mail box.
Earlier today my youngest brother was having a problem at school. so i was going to force my self to walk down there. Right before his teacher text and said i din't need to. I was trying to work myself up to going out side I felt nauseous and my stomach was turning over and i felt like crying. after the text i felt immensely re-leaved.
I don't have money for a therapist and i don't know if my insurance will pay for anything. is there any sort of exercises i can do to help make this go away?
I would say it is a form of agoraphobia. I suffer from it also, but it manifests itself in somewhat different manners. My recommendation is research the subject, see whether or not there are books available on agoraphobia. Best of luck to you!
I recommend the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr. Edmond J. Bourne. It will help you do self directed therapy to address your fears.
From a practical standpoint the best thing you can do is to face your fear and make yourself go out. Its easy to talk ourselves out of doing things that involve our fears/anxieties but each time we do that we only reinforce the fear. When you face the fear you diminish it. That doesn't mean you will go outside and feel no anxiety, the trick is to CHOOSE to go outside even though you know you will have anxiety. At first it will be hard, but over time if you keep doing it the fear will fade away. Now this doesn't need to be done all at once in a big grandiose step (like say deciding to take a solo trip around the world). The book will help you with it, but basically you can build up step by step. Maybe your first step will involve making yourself go to the edge of your yard day after day until the anxiety for that starts to fade. Then once that becomes easier you could step it up and say go to the end of your street. You just keep repeating that process with bigger and bigger challenges until the fear is minimal or gone.
It will require hard work and patience, but the reward is definitely worth it.