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Old 08-31-2003, 01:44 AM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: san francisco, california, USA
Posts: 311
SFangel HB User
Unhappy I want to check myself in a mental hospital!


I have fear of death all day and almost daily nightmares since August 2001, when I was a pedestrian struck and injured by a car while crossing the street on a crosswalk. For more details about my fear of death, you can read the thread "Fear of death."

I feel like hurting myself because I feel this is the only way to stop this fear of death and these nightmares.

I would like to be in a mental hospital because I would like to get help for all my mental problems. How do I get checked in one? Do I have to be referred by a doctor and can this doctor be a primary care physician?

I tried several anti-depressants such as Elavil and Effexor but they were absolutely ineffective for me.

Can you tell me what it is like in a mental hospital? How long will I stay there and what will they do for me?

I am on a lot of different meds for different health problems. Can I take these meds with me to the mental hospital? 2 of these meds are narcotic painkillers that I use for severe chronic pain. I am worried that I will not be allowed to bring these with me in the hospital and I am almost sure that they do not provide narcotic painkillers to patients in a mental hospital.


Old 08-31-2003, 01:50 AM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: san francisco, california, USA
Posts: 311
SFangel HB User


I tried seeing a psychiatrist but he said he could not help me.

I cannot afford psychiatrists, phychologists, therapists, or counselors because I have no income and no medical insurance.

I am not eligible for MediCal because I do not have children and because I am not disabled (I consider myself disabled but the MediCal office does not). I have CMSP (County Medically Indigent Services Program) but it does not cover outpatient mental health care. It only covers inpatient mental health care in the psychiatric ward of a public hospital.


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Old 08-31-2003, 10:37 AM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: kent, England
Posts: 5
saphire11 HB User

hello angel, I have already replied once to you.But after reading this post i feel so bad for you, i thought my fear was bad, i cry and worryabout death but it sounds like its tearing you apart.I havent got any great advice for you (tho i wish i had!!!). All i can say is that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Im just worried that your awful fear of death is going to be what kills you hun, please dont let it do that.Keep your chin up!
Saphire xxx

Old 08-31-2003, 11:58 AM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: san francisco, california, USA
Posts: 311
SFangel HB User

Hi, saphire11

Thanks for your support. I read your other post, and it "opened my eyes" to many things, believe me.

Yes, my fear of death is tearing me apart. I am also worried that my fear of death is what is going to kill me. That would happen if I go through with slashing my wrists to end my fear of death. Yes, I should not let my fear of death do that to me but it is so hard! It has come to a point where I feel that I need to be checked in a mental hospital to get help!

Old 08-31-2003, 01:19 PM   #5
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5
Novel_writer HB User

I don't know how to go about checking yourself into a mental hospital. Perhaps you could take yourself to the closest hospital ER and ask them for help. I believe they have doctors available that can assess you and make the decision if that is truly what you need. I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain and fear. I'm going to send you some good thoughts and I hope that you are feeling better soon.

Old 09-01-2003, 04:23 PM   #6
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: California
Posts: 481
bloodytears HB Userbloodytears HB User


I have been in a mental hospital twice... However, each time i was sent there, it was by ambulance, and i was forced into it.. It's not that bad in some hospitals, and you meet other people who struggle with similar situations as yourself. If there is a mental hospital near where you live, you should be able to walk up and have a free assesment, and then if they think you need to stay, they will keep you there.(after you sign some forms though..) take care.. i hope this helped a little.. ~tears

Old 09-01-2003, 10:30 PM   #7
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: san francisco, california, USA
Posts: 311
SFangel HB User

Hi, Novel_writer and bloodytears

Novel_writer, I will try to go to an ER to get assessed, but I will not go to the closest one as they have a bad reputation. They did medical malpractice on me but by the time I found out about it, it was too late to sue.

All this pain and fear were caused by the woman who struck and injured me with her car. I do not want vengeance against that woman because it is not "good" enough that she is hit by a car. Oh no! I want her to suffer and die a very painful death so she can understand what she did to me. I am looking forward to the day I can spit on her grave.

Bloody tears, is it legal in California to have someone put in a mental hospital against their will? When and if I go in one, it will be of my own free will.

I will call the mental hospital nearest me and have them assess me.


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