De-Stressing Life: Is It Possible? - Anxiety Message Board

mouse62 · 10-29-2003, 11:41 AM

Just wondering what you all do all day and if you have a crazy activity list as I think I do and if you have ever radically changed things to help with the stress.

I currently take .5 Xanax in morning and .5 in the evening.

Activities: Daily -- Up by 6am, groom & dress, coffee and breakfast, dress son, drop him at day care, an hour commute to my job, 8:30 - 4:30 work, hour commute back, get son from day care, cook dinner OR (if husband cooks) do dishes & clean-up; weekday evenings -- grooming for one of 2 kids (we alternate their baths/shampoo days), clean up their messes, sometimes I check daughter's homework but usually husband does, to the playground weather permitting for about 2 hours, bed. Weekly -- daughter to & from Scouts Wed night, to & from karate Saturdays; self 1 hour workouts 2 or 3 times a week; church on Sunday; 3 -4 loads of laundry every weekend; big food shopping every other weekend; . . . then all of the little irritating things, like sometimes I'll do my bill paying at my job, run erreands on lunch hour. Seasonal -- this week -- tonight daughter to 2-hour GS campfire; tomorrow, to 1 1/2 hour lectures given at our church; Friday -- out walking for Halloween; Sunday -- my son's birthday, I still have to get cake and decorations. ETC ETC ETC

What is most STRESSFUL is the kids fighting with each other. Daughter is 7 and son is 5.

I used to go to a second job on evenings and weekends but had to stop due to demands of the childred; then it was night classes but had to stop for the same reason. I'm pretty much chained to the kids on evenings, nights, and weekends, and chained to my job otherwise (I'm 80% of income). There is practically no sex life left. Once a week is optimal and sometimes we skip (we skipped this past weekend and my husband has been making comments about it).

Is everyone else stressed out just from this kind of crazy schedule? At least my husband does 50% or more of the housework, as he works freelance and can do more at home.

Citykittie · 10-30-2003, 02:35 AM

Well I don't have that very full schedule, but if I did - I'd be stressed to the max! The only places I see where MAYBE you could find time is ..... Is there someone you could commute to work with? You could meet at your son's daycare. After you drop him off, you could take turns driving in and then split up there at days end. This way during those 2 hours that you were the passenger you could do bills, make phonecalls, schedule appointmets etc....

Also why not instead of alternating nights for kids baths just do them on the same night. You're already in the bathroom. You got the tub water going, you got the towells out. Just get the 2 of them done at the same time. Then the next night you'd be free to do something else.

One thing I have done in my life is I have switched my bank and pharmacy to the same grocery store that I shop at. I also order my stamps online and just put all my mail in the mailbox for the mail lady to take. (So no trips to the postoffice) I also have my pay direct deposited.

Another thing we do, is do alot of eating on plastic plates. It cuts down on alot of mess and lets you go a little longer between dish washing loads.

Good luckand remember to lock yourself in the bathroom sometimes, with ear phones on and soak in the tub with a glass of wine.

[This message has been edited by Citykittie (edited 10-30-2003).]

mouse62 · 10-30-2003, 08:00 AM

Thank you. I have an idea about my commute -- it's only 1/2 driving; then I park at the "El" (a subway on an above-ground rail) station and ride into the city. I have been dozing and daydreaming but I could buy a Walkman and listen to music -- music is one of my 4 passions in life (the others: film, literature, and nature/wildlife).

The disposable dishes/cups/cutlery is a great suggestion. It should only cost a few extra bucks a week at the Dollar store.

I am about to have one of my two credit lines paid with an automatic monthly deduction from my account. That leaves the actual bills I have to manually pay th e old-fashioned way to about 7 a month.

Thanks for the suggestions.

billy7772 · 10-30-2003, 06:15 PM

Mouse,
That certainly is a hectic schedule. Mine is not nearly that bad right now but I have found the thoughts you have related to the stress make a big difference in how much stress you feel. You may want to look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as I think the tools you learn will help you a great deal. The two books I always recommend are either "Been There, Done That? Do This!" by Sam ***** or "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Both are great books and very useful. "Feeling Good" is more indepth and technical and the former is a better overview of the CBT process. Hope this helps.

Forrester · 10-31-2003, 08:37 PM

Wow, and I think I'm stressed, and I don't have any kids. That's amazing you are able to do that schedule. I know I never could. Bravo! Those suggestions made were great, too!