Ok,here goes!! Sorry,maybe long......Went to the dr. yesterday(a "good" one,,,yeah right!) Told him I was hurtin...big time...I really was and he scheduled an mri,bulgera,some patches for the back and you guessed it ....Oxys!! (only 30 though!) He knew I went through w/d's 2 weeks ago,I told him that but "just in case,for breakthrough pain!" Well,here I am,4 kids in tow screamin,fightin,my back is killin me,I've been really good for 2 weeks...nothing,not even1 opiate!...Reward time!!!! So, I rush to the pharmacy already shaking with excitment to get my meds the kids their candy and we are all set! Got home,got my bottle of pepsi and set back to wait for the fuzzies.They came,but ummm,hhmm,I swear I instantly thought,this is not enough! So,I started WATCHING THE CLOCK UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO TAKE MORE!! SO,I took 4 more 2 hours later.My skin started itching,dry mouth,irritable,and then the guilt started in!
I'm here to tell ya that's it! Everything got under my skin!I just wanted to be by myself so I could zombie out,my hubby was like...what is wrong with you!You really got the heebie-geebies today!(of course I didn't tell him the truth!Are you crazy!!!) Well,then the BIG GUILT!! My mom called!(she was my big supporter through w/d''s) I felt like I was 15 again! Everyhair on my body stood up and that fear of "oh my gosh,she'll know!set in. She will be sooo disappointed in me,etc.etc.This is so not worth! It is 4:30 in the morning,my head and neck are absolutely throbbing,I can't sleep,I feel so guilty.Sooooooo,I flushed the remaining 22 pills,got my bottle of excedrin,got an appt at 9:00am w/ a chiropractor and this is how I will deal with it from now on...It is so not worth it...I realized I was here 2weeks ago to the day dreading the w/d's.I cannot deal with being a zombie anymore,with watching the clock,the ups and downs......I got a taste of reality and I like it better...nothing was better last night certainly not this morning.I really felt the need to share this with you all. I have so much going on in my head right now.I I can't live the old life anymore,its too stressful! All my senses had started to wake up this past week,I could smell things again! Of course the kids still drove me nuts,but not as much,they were funnier,cuter,my hubby was more attractive,etc.etc. So,anyway...thanks for listening and I am very happy to say I feel good that I'm not "high". I will deal with the cravings,the energy loss,etc,etc,because my life is NOT better with those pills!!!!!

Good for you! I cannot believe (well, actually I can) your doctor gave you a script for Oxy knowing you just went through withdrawals two weeks ago. Helloooo!? I hope you find some answers for your pain. Good luck and God bless.

Okie~I'm not following you here. You stopped takin last week and you went thru withdrawals but you went to the doc(the one that knows you went thru w/d) and he prescribed you Oxy again? That I wild. The Doc that I started out with when I came out of the hospital would'nt give me NOTHING for NOTHING....he would just say you gotta work this. Being the person I was, I thought I had to do just that. I wished I would have known about this board back then because I wasn't strong enough to stand up to him and get the meds I needed in order to at least be able to make a sentence when somebody did talk to me. But Im not goin back to that again~its over and he is an ASS....funny story tho...He also coaches little league baseball and my husband umpires....I don't know how he coaches lil kids but my husband had to throw him out of several games due to behavior...I thought that rather funny. Getting back to you tho, So you slipped but you've already flushed the pills? See I could have flushed my jewelry down the commode before I would have turned aloose of those lil demons. Way to GO!!! Your gonna be okay. Just don't be so hard on yourself.

okie....you gotta be tough!when that feelin creeps up on ya for some opiates you gotta dig down deep...i cant do it just yet cause im on the methadone with my chronic pain in my back too.....but you paid the dues for two weeks....that was my problem...id go on the w/d cycle evry other week...it drives ya crazy...if you stopped for two weeks maybe ask yourself the next time you get the cravings, is it so bad that i gotta go to the e.r. room for the pain or is it just the phscological thing where id like to do some oxy's....im proud that you made it the two weeks....i hope you did flush the oxy's too......chef

Hey Okie!!! It's take2many...i'm on my sis's account, but i'm gonna take the chance of getting her banned too http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I've been thinking about you since last week, hoping you were doing okay. I can't believe the doc gave you OXY'S...of all things!!!, knowing that you just went through w/d's!! Anyway, it doesn't matter. YOU had the stregnth to flush em' http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I haven't done so well myself. I caved yesterday and got more soma. I'm proud of myself in a twisted-justifiable way though, cause I only got the soma...not the cocktail of the 5 different meds i was taking before. My w/d's were going sooo bad..then the actual pain (that i was taking them for) kicked back in, and WOW!!! what made you feel so bad after taking the oxy's? Girl, you've come so far http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I wish I could kick everything totally. Also, as my mind was becoming clearer, the GUILT came lurking back about all the horrible things I've done to myself, family and friends when using. How did things go at the chiropractor? Hang in there...you are definitely one tough okie!!!

I must say I was suprised that he gave them to me to! Before I also would have flushed ANYTHING but my "friends" I just don't want to go there anymore....I am feeling better and I liked being clean.(yep chef I flushed em...sorry!Gonna be some "high" fishes today!hehe!) Not at all to be coinceded but I think that doc likes me,really! Still,that is kinda cruel if ya think about it! Test of the ol willpower! I'm ALOT nicer to be around clean....I'm too crabby on those pills....people talkin to me crush the buzz...if ya know what I mean.....but also I felt sick to my tummy after the 2nd round....and when I got up at 4am with a bashing headache...I was like..NOOO WAY!!! Oh yeah,you know all I wanted to do last night was go shopping...whats up with that...I ALWAYS wanted to buy,buy,buy when I was on them! Take2many....if you are only taking the somas I am really impressed! You did have 1 hell of a cocktail goin on there! Are somas easier to get off of?I mean with w/d's cuz I think we crave what we like the best! Oh the chiropractor was heavenly! I loved hearing everything go back into place! I go 3 times next week.(is that sick to like going to the chiro?!?!?!)Well,I can't imagine I'd have more w/d's from only 8 pills.I feel fine....My head is clear so I'll be fine.You all are WONDERFUL!!!! A BIG OKIE HUG FOR ALL!!!!

Hey okie, it's take2many http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif what's up with the shopping thing???? that's all i'd want to do too! Didn't matter what it was or of it was needed as long as i was buyin something!! Even with the soma my head is much clearer. And i'm finding that it's really not all that great by itself. For example, i only have maybe 4 left til Tuesday and for the first time I'm not freaking out about it! It's been 8 days since I've had anything else, so maybe this is gonna work after all http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I'm glad the chiro made you feel better. My back is sooo screwed up to begin with, the thought of having it adjusted and cracked scares me. Did you have restless legs? if so, for how long? I'm still having that and it's driving me CRAZY!! Girl, you did it http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif and you definitely have the right attitude...no more!!

take2many....8 days is awesome girl!!! I got really worried when you (we) got banned.I did see your brothers post though,he sounds so sweet! I think thats awesome that he looks out for ya! You know the restless leg thing is kinda stumped me cuz my legs aren't so jittery but dang they ache,feels like I pulled every muscle from my neck to my feet! I think I'm a wuss when it comes to pain though.I went to see the doc because of the all over body pains,especially my back and headaches but I think someone said that your brain will start sending false pain signals out.I wonder if thats it or if its cuz I was so used to NOT feeling pain that it seems worse.I do know that I have been very aware of how my body feels,I mean its like I've been focusing on it.Weird,huh.but like I said we were always so numb its a new thing! I'm so glad you have stopped taking all those things.Thats kinda scary to mix things isn't it.Did you always mix meds? Are you on an anti-depres? I'm on Prozac....hope it starts helping more!

Hey Okieatheart dont feel like the Lone Ranger, I havent fared much better, but I gotta tell ya I just got back from the beach and I just had to log on and see how you and take2many are doing, I have been thinking about yall all week long!! Oh yea, I was also thinking of sooready also, I will post tonight when I have more time, your friend, rl

Wow, that is great that you feel that way!! I am sordove in the same boat. I've been weaning myself off oxy's and yesterday I only took 2 percs from 140mg oxy. Today I haven't taken anything yet, but I have sooooo much to do. I feel like I've had it with this life and I don't want it anymore. But I have a bunch of pills left & I wish I had the strength like you to flush them. I'm trying!!