toochubbyforhubby
05-05-2003, 02:55 PM
Hello All,
I have been reading this message board for the last few weeks and feel like this may be just the support I need. First let me tell you my story. I am 39 years old and have been married for 13 years. I have 2 kids in school. I was in the Air Force for 20 years (I was an Aircraft Mechanic)and just Retired in Febuary. I still have not figured out what I want to do now, but going back to school is an option. I have had a weight problem all my life. Currently I am 5'8" and weigh in at 215. I have gained 35 lbs since I stopped working. At 180 I was just at the Air Force standard when they did Body Fat measurement. There were times during my career when I was placed on what we called the Fat Girl Program because I was too big. I am currently taking Welbutrin and Celexa...I am tired confused and sleepy most of the time. I have no motivation to do anything. I sit around and tell myself get up and clean the house or something but yet I just lay here watching mind numbing TV most days. Then 2 weeks ago my husband told me he was no longer attracted to me. This was not the first time this has happened and I knew it was coming. He actually left me in 97 for 2 months and then came back after I lost weight and he missed the kids. I am at the point of considering drastic measures such as gastric surgery. BUT I am not there yet. I am seriosly considering Leptoprin. I know from the threads that it has some side effects and it is gennerally used for people more overweight than me but I need to lose 65 lbs and get some energy. When I was younger I used to do really stupid stuff like laxatives, duretics, and vomitting to stay within Air Force Standards. I know NOT to go down that road again. I know I don't drink enough water, and I eat out of bordom (to many carbs). Another really depressing thing about me is I have a life cycle, Soloflex, many areobic tapes and a bun and thigh rocker at home but they just sit there for me to stare at and think "I shoud get up and use you"
I guess the thing is I need support....and any advice on leptoprin...
Thanks so much for any help or advice, and thank for listening.
Looking forward to responces
I have been reading this message board for the last few weeks and feel like this may be just the support I need. First let me tell you my story. I am 39 years old and have been married for 13 years. I have 2 kids in school. I was in the Air Force for 20 years (I was an Aircraft Mechanic)and just Retired in Febuary. I still have not figured out what I want to do now, but going back to school is an option. I have had a weight problem all my life. Currently I am 5'8" and weigh in at 215. I have gained 35 lbs since I stopped working. At 180 I was just at the Air Force standard when they did Body Fat measurement. There were times during my career when I was placed on what we called the Fat Girl Program because I was too big. I am currently taking Welbutrin and Celexa...I am tired confused and sleepy most of the time. I have no motivation to do anything. I sit around and tell myself get up and clean the house or something but yet I just lay here watching mind numbing TV most days. Then 2 weeks ago my husband told me he was no longer attracted to me. This was not the first time this has happened and I knew it was coming. He actually left me in 97 for 2 months and then came back after I lost weight and he missed the kids. I am at the point of considering drastic measures such as gastric surgery. BUT I am not there yet. I am seriosly considering Leptoprin. I know from the threads that it has some side effects and it is gennerally used for people more overweight than me but I need to lose 65 lbs and get some energy. When I was younger I used to do really stupid stuff like laxatives, duretics, and vomitting to stay within Air Force Standards. I know NOT to go down that road again. I know I don't drink enough water, and I eat out of bordom (to many carbs). Another really depressing thing about me is I have a life cycle, Soloflex, many areobic tapes and a bun and thigh rocker at home but they just sit there for me to stare at and think "I shoud get up and use you"
I guess the thing is I need support....and any advice on leptoprin...
Thanks so much for any help or advice, and thank for listening.
Looking forward to responces
Sponsor
Absinthe
05-05-2003, 03:42 PM
Hey, I'm an ex-Zoomie too. ;)
I'll probably catch all kinds of flack for this, but Leptoprin is not a magic pill. It is no different from any other thermogenic you can get from the local drug store. The company manufacturing it is infamous for slick packaging and advertising, but the product is not innovative. I suggest you save your money.
Motivation really needs to come from within. The threat of your hubby leaving IS a motivator, but not a good one. (BTW, what a *nice* supportive guy. Geez.)
You will have to experiment to find a food plan that you can live with long term, but here are a few thoughts:
1) Don't turn on the TV. Once it's on it is hard to pry yourself away. Even reading is better than watching the tube.
2) Increase water. It will help in many ways.
3) Find an activity that you can tolerate daily. Walking, playing with kids or pets, gardening, dancing along with the radio... anything is better than nothing.
4) Look into your meds. They may be adding to your lack of motivation, or weight gain.
Good luck...
I'll probably catch all kinds of flack for this, but Leptoprin is not a magic pill. It is no different from any other thermogenic you can get from the local drug store. The company manufacturing it is infamous for slick packaging and advertising, but the product is not innovative. I suggest you save your money.
Motivation really needs to come from within. The threat of your hubby leaving IS a motivator, but not a good one. (BTW, what a *nice* supportive guy. Geez.)
You will have to experiment to find a food plan that you can live with long term, but here are a few thoughts:
1) Don't turn on the TV. Once it's on it is hard to pry yourself away. Even reading is better than watching the tube.
2) Increase water. It will help in many ways.
3) Find an activity that you can tolerate daily. Walking, playing with kids or pets, gardening, dancing along with the radio... anything is better than nothing.
4) Look into your meds. They may be adding to your lack of motivation, or weight gain.
Good luck...
Dietprincess
05-05-2003, 03:54 PM
toochubby (ooh, i dont like that name :( )
May i suggest weight watchers? It was what really helped me when I was so down and needed major support. I met wonderful people there. It was the cheapest therapy you could ask for. :) AND, it gets up and motivated.
Good luck.
May i suggest weight watchers? It was what really helped me when I was so down and needed major support. I met wonderful people there. It was the cheapest therapy you could ask for. :) AND, it gets up and motivated.
Good luck.
jennielynn
05-05-2003, 03:56 PM
toochubby: most of us on this board could use that screen name!!! LOL
The way your hubby is behaving, on the other hand; is no laughing matter. FIrst of all; you should want to lose weight for you; not him. And I can see why you're depressed. If my hubby told me that he wasn't attracted to me; I'd be in the same boat! I'm no marriage counselor; but if he left you before (assuming that the only/main reason was your weight) then you are better off without him. Talk about a quick way to get rid of some extra weight!!! I realize that you may truly love this guy & I know that you have children together; but the important question is: does he REALLY love you??? I would think that if he did; he wouls support you and try to encourage you to lose weight for yourself; not just because he wants you to. If there is one thing that goes wrong with 90% of marriages nowadays; it's that spouses are continuously trying to mold each other into the person they believe the other should be! Now, I've only been married a little over 10 years; and like I said before; I'm no counselor. But it sounds like this marriage is in some serious trouble. That aside; the thing that you need to concentrate on is why you want to lose weight. It's okay to want to look better for your husband; but you've got to want to do it for YOU!!!
The first thing I'd suggest if you seriously want to lose weight is to make little changes. get up and move a little more. I have had experience with depression; and I find that the more you allow yourself to lie around watching tv; the harder it is to stop. Instead of forcing yourself to do the housework; force yourself to go outside for a little walk. Even if it's just 15 minutes a day to start. The more you do it; the more steps you will take out of the rut your in. DO something for yourself; realize that you are a valuable person. You were in the Air Force for gosh sakes; not many women can say that! And your children; that's an accomplishment in itself. Don't let anyone else have control over your emotions; I know that's a very hard thing to do.
On the food side; try to eat more fruits and veggies. If carbs are the problem; try to gradually reduce the amount you consume. You may feel miserable for a few days while doing this; but it sounds to me like the alternative is making you equally as miserable.
Just know that you can come to this board anytime for support. There are so many people here who are great sources of inspiration! It doesn't always have to be about eating and weight loss; many of us have created friendships that take us way beyond that. And always remember that you must learn to take care of yourself if you want to succeed in taking care of everyone else!!!
Jen
The way your hubby is behaving, on the other hand; is no laughing matter. FIrst of all; you should want to lose weight for you; not him. And I can see why you're depressed. If my hubby told me that he wasn't attracted to me; I'd be in the same boat! I'm no marriage counselor; but if he left you before (assuming that the only/main reason was your weight) then you are better off without him. Talk about a quick way to get rid of some extra weight!!! I realize that you may truly love this guy & I know that you have children together; but the important question is: does he REALLY love you??? I would think that if he did; he wouls support you and try to encourage you to lose weight for yourself; not just because he wants you to. If there is one thing that goes wrong with 90% of marriages nowadays; it's that spouses are continuously trying to mold each other into the person they believe the other should be! Now, I've only been married a little over 10 years; and like I said before; I'm no counselor. But it sounds like this marriage is in some serious trouble. That aside; the thing that you need to concentrate on is why you want to lose weight. It's okay to want to look better for your husband; but you've got to want to do it for YOU!!!
The first thing I'd suggest if you seriously want to lose weight is to make little changes. get up and move a little more. I have had experience with depression; and I find that the more you allow yourself to lie around watching tv; the harder it is to stop. Instead of forcing yourself to do the housework; force yourself to go outside for a little walk. Even if it's just 15 minutes a day to start. The more you do it; the more steps you will take out of the rut your in. DO something for yourself; realize that you are a valuable person. You were in the Air Force for gosh sakes; not many women can say that! And your children; that's an accomplishment in itself. Don't let anyone else have control over your emotions; I know that's a very hard thing to do.
On the food side; try to eat more fruits and veggies. If carbs are the problem; try to gradually reduce the amount you consume. You may feel miserable for a few days while doing this; but it sounds to me like the alternative is making you equally as miserable.
Just know that you can come to this board anytime for support. There are so many people here who are great sources of inspiration! It doesn't always have to be about eating and weight loss; many of us have created friendships that take us way beyond that. And always remember that you must learn to take care of yourself if you want to succeed in taking care of everyone else!!!
Jen
toochubbyforhubby
05-05-2003, 05:02 PM
Cool!!! Thanks for the replys
I want to lose weight for me also. I am very uncomfortable. I am even having trouble shaving my legs...it is hard to bend and get to the backs of my calves. As far as weight watchers, I have been (many years ago) and it did not seem to work for me because I always found an excuse not to go. I did Nutra- Systems and that worked I put forth the effort for awhile then stopped going to that too. I lost down to 130 once by running five miles every day and going to the gym everyday. Of course that was before I got married and had kids. Unfortunately, that is when my husband met me (at my all time thinest) So now he has this thin image of me stuck in his head. My husband does have a big problem with appearence (his own as well as mine) He tries to be supportive and suggests walks and salads. When he left me before he said it was all the weight thing I was at 175 then but I feel in my heart it was more. We don't talk about him leaveing in fact we never really ever talked about it after he came back. If you are thinking that it sounds like there is unresolved issues on my part you are right. Oh my gosh I can't even believe I am typing this I have never talked to anyone about this....He is a good man, he works hard, has a wonderful sence of humor, never procrastinates anything, and does not physically abuse me. He can be emotionally vacant sometimes though, and I am worried his negative comments about weight are going to affect my daughters. They are so young and they are already concerned they are "too fat". I have gone on so many diets...I will do very good and then just stop. My Mom says I am being passive aggressive to him and gaining weight just to punish him. I don't know about all that though. Anyway I have to go help the kids with thier homework I will check back later.
Bye
I want to lose weight for me also. I am very uncomfortable. I am even having trouble shaving my legs...it is hard to bend and get to the backs of my calves. As far as weight watchers, I have been (many years ago) and it did not seem to work for me because I always found an excuse not to go. I did Nutra- Systems and that worked I put forth the effort for awhile then stopped going to that too. I lost down to 130 once by running five miles every day and going to the gym everyday. Of course that was before I got married and had kids. Unfortunately, that is when my husband met me (at my all time thinest) So now he has this thin image of me stuck in his head. My husband does have a big problem with appearence (his own as well as mine) He tries to be supportive and suggests walks and salads. When he left me before he said it was all the weight thing I was at 175 then but I feel in my heart it was more. We don't talk about him leaveing in fact we never really ever talked about it after he came back. If you are thinking that it sounds like there is unresolved issues on my part you are right. Oh my gosh I can't even believe I am typing this I have never talked to anyone about this....He is a good man, he works hard, has a wonderful sence of humor, never procrastinates anything, and does not physically abuse me. He can be emotionally vacant sometimes though, and I am worried his negative comments about weight are going to affect my daughters. They are so young and they are already concerned they are "too fat". I have gone on so many diets...I will do very good and then just stop. My Mom says I am being passive aggressive to him and gaining weight just to punish him. I don't know about all that though. Anyway I have to go help the kids with thier homework I will check back later.
Bye
shelovestoski
05-05-2003, 05:42 PM
"...Then 2 weeks ago my husband told me he was no longer attracted to me. This was not the first time this has happened and I knew it was coming. He actually left me in 97 for 2 months and then came back after I lost weight and he missed the kids. I am at the point of considering drastic measures such as gastric surgery. BUT I am not there yet."
What I don't like about your post is that you seem to think it is your duty as a good wife to lose the weight for your husband! I may be wrong in this assumption, but it was the impression that I got. The desire to lose weight has to come from within, not just because your husband finds you unattractive--otherwise you will probably just lose the weight temporarily and then gain it all back. You need to have stronger reasons for losing the weight, whether it be because you want to feel healthier, or simply to feel better about your appearance. Do not EVER lose the weight to satisfy someone else's needs...you are the one living in your own body, and your happiness is what matters. Furthermore, the idea of the gastric bypass surgery is scary...a small percentage of people die from that operation every year, and there are other various possible health complications resulting from it, too. Plus, if you like food, you will not be able to enjoy it after the surgery because you'll only be able to eat tiny amounts! Besides that it is extremely expensive!! Please weigh in all the various considerations--and do what is best for YOU and what will make YOU a happier, better person. And if you mess up, try try again. I know you can do it! Good Luck.
cheers
lucy
What I don't like about your post is that you seem to think it is your duty as a good wife to lose the weight for your husband! I may be wrong in this assumption, but it was the impression that I got. The desire to lose weight has to come from within, not just because your husband finds you unattractive--otherwise you will probably just lose the weight temporarily and then gain it all back. You need to have stronger reasons for losing the weight, whether it be because you want to feel healthier, or simply to feel better about your appearance. Do not EVER lose the weight to satisfy someone else's needs...you are the one living in your own body, and your happiness is what matters. Furthermore, the idea of the gastric bypass surgery is scary...a small percentage of people die from that operation every year, and there are other various possible health complications resulting from it, too. Plus, if you like food, you will not be able to enjoy it after the surgery because you'll only be able to eat tiny amounts! Besides that it is extremely expensive!! Please weigh in all the various considerations--and do what is best for YOU and what will make YOU a happier, better person. And if you mess up, try try again. I know you can do it! Good Luck.
cheers
lucy
JennTX
05-05-2003, 10:41 PM
Hi! We have so much in common it is scary! I am 5'8 and 215 lbs. I used to eat all the time just out of boredom. I too would just sit there in a T.V. trance thinking of all the things I should or could be doing, but just couldn't make myself get up! I have spent most of my life overweight. The only time I ever successfully lost a significant amount of weight was from taking phen-fen. I went from 175 to 130. Soon after I had lost the weight I met my husband. I have been married for 4 years. In that time I went from 130 to 225. Ugh!!! Fortunately it never fazed my husband and he is totally supportive regardless. He could already see how unhappy I was! Even though you might be feeling some heat from your husband, I have no doubt that you want this for yourself. Take this opportunity to explore why you are holding on to this weight. Is it possible you are using food to fill some sort of emotional void from your husband? The words you used to describe him makes him sound like a friend or someone you just met, not your life partner of 13 years! It just sounds like there is a real need for communication. Maybe the weight and marriage issues are interrelated. Someone else mentioned taking time to do something for yourself. I agree with that. Get back in touch with yourself and find your inner strength!!! I started hypnotherapy a couple of months ago. I am like a totally different person. I have lost 10 lbs. w/out even dieting. Just find what works for you and enjoy the success!!! -Jennifer
Houdini
05-06-2003, 08:58 AM
You're getting a lot of really good advice from the others who have replied to you! This list can be a great help, and a great place for motivation. One thing I'd like to add to the other advice is this: I agree that you should lose the weight for yourself (not for your husband), but you should also do it for your kids. Whether they have weight issues or not, it will do them good to see Mom eating healthy foods, and seeing how great it will make her look and feel. They may pick up your healthy habits, which may prevent them from someday having to go through what you're going through now. Do this for yourself and your kids. Just take a look at all the different diets out there and find one you really believe you can stick to, and go for it! C'mon, you can do it!!!
:)
:)
southern_mom33
05-07-2003, 10:37 AM
:wave: Hello and welcome aboard.
I can understand where you are coming from I have been thru what you are going thru.One thing you are on that wellbutrin I was on it and it was awful it made me a total"B" and depressed.I got off of those fast.I dont care at all for that pill.What ever you do do it for YOU second do it for your kids.I was in the same boat as you with the tv.Until I went to the doctors got weighed and talk about being mad at myself when I heard my weight.I came home thru out junk food got on this computer did some reading found this god send of a board.Saw what everyone was doing and put my own little thing together.My motto is "I was overweight and depressed I will not be on a diet and depressed".
Take baby steps and they will pay off.First thing I would do is change your name it will make you feel better try ItsAllAboutMe orIwillshowhim..LoL..I am a true smartazz when it comes to men like my ex and your husband.
What I have Done:
I take zantrex-3 I do 1200-1300 calories a day, I use fitday,look it up and try it.It is a easy baby step.
I use a carb cutter I love my sugar and pasta.Southern girl I love my sweet tea and coffee.I clean house with the radio on or a cd playing no tv on.I walk or I do atleast 20 minutes of a work out tape.I drink lots of water I do the 64oz plus more.Some days I dont but I look back and see well 2 days ago I had 192oz of water so I am still ahead.Hang in and stay with us we will all help you,and you know what you will be amazed what we can do for one another...
Dee
[This message has been edited by southern_mom33 (edited 05-07-2003).]
I can understand where you are coming from I have been thru what you are going thru.One thing you are on that wellbutrin I was on it and it was awful it made me a total"B" and depressed.I got off of those fast.I dont care at all for that pill.What ever you do do it for YOU second do it for your kids.I was in the same boat as you with the tv.Until I went to the doctors got weighed and talk about being mad at myself when I heard my weight.I came home thru out junk food got on this computer did some reading found this god send of a board.Saw what everyone was doing and put my own little thing together.My motto is "I was overweight and depressed I will not be on a diet and depressed".
Take baby steps and they will pay off.First thing I would do is change your name it will make you feel better try ItsAllAboutMe orIwillshowhim..LoL..I am a true smartazz when it comes to men like my ex and your husband.
What I have Done:
I take zantrex-3 I do 1200-1300 calories a day, I use fitday,look it up and try it.It is a easy baby step.
I use a carb cutter I love my sugar and pasta.Southern girl I love my sweet tea and coffee.I clean house with the radio on or a cd playing no tv on.I walk or I do atleast 20 minutes of a work out tape.I drink lots of water I do the 64oz plus more.Some days I dont but I look back and see well 2 days ago I had 192oz of water so I am still ahead.Hang in and stay with us we will all help you,and you know what you will be amazed what we can do for one another...
Dee
[This message has been edited by southern_mom33 (edited 05-07-2003).]
nswa
05-07-2003, 08:01 PM
I'm probably going to sounds contradictory to some of the prior posts, but in the event my experience can be helpful -- here goes! I gained approximately 60 pounds during my seven-year marriage. My marriage was not very healthy in retrospect (I was divorced two years ago). This may sound a little pop-psych, but I believe I ate and treated my body poorly because if I could tell myself that my problem was being fat, I didn't have to deal with what the "real" problems were. Wallowing in my weight problem shielded me from dealing with my marriage. Anyway, I went on Wellbutrin after years of depression and reluctance to use medication. The Wellbutrin changed my life. For me it was a superb appetite suppressant and it made me see the world and myself in a positive light. I lost 50 pounds in about 6 months. Granted, I was not eating near what I was before the medication since my appetite wasn't there. I also worked out off and on. I guess if I were you I would look into going off the Celexa, most anti-depressants cause weight gain or at least inhibit weight loss -- with the exception of Wellbutrin. I think Wellbutrin is being studied as a treatment for obesity, I don't know whether it works for everyone but it did for me!! Also, about your husband - I don't know how he treats you in general (minus the weight issue) but if the weight is the only or the predominant problem in your relationship, I wonder if you are subconsciously keeping weight on as a way of willing him to leave because you're not happy with him? Okay now I'm really sounding like pop psychology - guess I'll leave it at that!! :)
Esperanza
05-08-2003, 01:31 AM
You are DEPRESSED. Wellbutrin is given for depression ( I was on it) and it seemed to help somewhat as appetite suppression but then I noticed that I was having more of a problem controlling what came out of my mouth than what went in it.
It is natural to be in this state when you are so used to working a "regular" job. I would suggest that you find a part time job that is suitable. Getting up every day to make a committment for other than yourself can "shake" this thing. Sunshine, fresh air, being around others is good for you. You may need the outside stimulation.
The hubby thing - he sounds like my brothers - good men with problems of their own that they project on to others. You are dealing with enough problems right now - don't focus on his - focus on what is good for you and your daughters. I know this is easier said than done, but both of my ex-sister in-laws (whom I liked very much) have no regrets (now) in the fact that these stupid brothers of mine left them. They are more together as individuals and as mothers. And guess what - my brothers are still dealing with issues, but now with a different wife. YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM - BELIEVE IN THAT AND YOURSELF.
Go visit the doctor again - tell him what you are feeling, he may change your prescription and send you to a therapist. Do it and internalize this process that will make you stronger. HANDLE ONE THING AT A TIME - THE MORE CONTROL YOU HAVE OVER YOUR LIFE WILL TRANSFER TO WEIGHT LOSS - if you still want it.
Finally, very few of us are judgemental - we are all supportive. Consider visiting this board several times a day. We are hear and here for you!
Blessings
It is natural to be in this state when you are so used to working a "regular" job. I would suggest that you find a part time job that is suitable. Getting up every day to make a committment for other than yourself can "shake" this thing. Sunshine, fresh air, being around others is good for you. You may need the outside stimulation.
The hubby thing - he sounds like my brothers - good men with problems of their own that they project on to others. You are dealing with enough problems right now - don't focus on his - focus on what is good for you and your daughters. I know this is easier said than done, but both of my ex-sister in-laws (whom I liked very much) have no regrets (now) in the fact that these stupid brothers of mine left them. They are more together as individuals and as mothers. And guess what - my brothers are still dealing with issues, but now with a different wife. YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM - BELIEVE IN THAT AND YOURSELF.
Go visit the doctor again - tell him what you are feeling, he may change your prescription and send you to a therapist. Do it and internalize this process that will make you stronger. HANDLE ONE THING AT A TIME - THE MORE CONTROL YOU HAVE OVER YOUR LIFE WILL TRANSFER TO WEIGHT LOSS - if you still want it.
Finally, very few of us are judgemental - we are all supportive. Consider visiting this board several times a day. We are hear and here for you!
Blessings
StrechedThin
05-08-2003, 04:50 AM
I take zantrex-3 I do 1200-1300 calories a day, I use fitday,look it up and try it.It is a easy baby step.
I use a carb cutter I love my sugar and pasta.
---
If you don't mind me asking, what is Zantrex-3, and what is a carb cutter? I am very interested in anything that will help in the carb department.
-ST
I use a carb cutter I love my sugar and pasta.
---
If you don't mind me asking, what is Zantrex-3, and what is a carb cutter? I am very interested in anything that will help in the carb department.
-ST
toochubbyforhubby
05-08-2003, 10:18 AM
Wow so much wonderful advice :) First let me say I went and saw my doctor, I am going to try this without meds....I started taking them about 6 months ago as I was prepareing to leave the military. I have turned the TV off and got out of the house the last two days. I went on walks and did yard work ... unfortunately I got big blisters on my feet, good that just means I get to buy new shoes Ha Ha. I also went shopping both day (that was hard because I hate to shop)
Absinthe; Thanks for the advice about the TV and the water that is definately in the plan
Dietprincess and southern_mom; I am going to change my name...I let you know afterwards.
jennielynn; Your note got me outside.
JennTX; Hypnotherapy, Hmmmm sound like something I will try to find out more about...It can't hurt right
Houdini; Actually my kids have learned good eating habits from thier father. He keeps lots of fruits and veggies in the house and the girls actually perfer them for snacks. Maybe I should learn from them.
southern_mom33; Wow that much water...I know these are dumb questions but... How often do you have to urinate? And do you ever get bloated? Why so much? Does it really work?
nswa; You sound exactly like my cousin (who by the way is a very respected Psycologist). But I feel like I made a commitment to my husband and kids...for better or for worse. I don't know but maybe sometimes I do make consession just to keep peace in the marriage.
Esperanza; I think you have hit the nail right on the head. After talking to my doctor...he said a regimented workout program was often a better "cure" for depression in some people than Meds. When I first went on the Wellbutrin it did seem to help but after a couple of months I felt worse so he added the celexa then...as par for the course I got better for a bit and back down to my current level. I know not working has had a huge effect on my mood and depression. I don't like being at home and everyone keeps telling me they would love it, but I don't. I miss the intensity and sence of urgency of work. I feel like I have lost total control of my life (I know that's not true but I still feel that way)
This really is helping thank you all :)
Absinthe; Thanks for the advice about the TV and the water that is definately in the plan
Dietprincess and southern_mom; I am going to change my name...I let you know afterwards.
jennielynn; Your note got me outside.
JennTX; Hypnotherapy, Hmmmm sound like something I will try to find out more about...It can't hurt right
Houdini; Actually my kids have learned good eating habits from thier father. He keeps lots of fruits and veggies in the house and the girls actually perfer them for snacks. Maybe I should learn from them.
southern_mom33; Wow that much water...I know these are dumb questions but... How often do you have to urinate? And do you ever get bloated? Why so much? Does it really work?
nswa; You sound exactly like my cousin (who by the way is a very respected Psycologist). But I feel like I made a commitment to my husband and kids...for better or for worse. I don't know but maybe sometimes I do make consession just to keep peace in the marriage.
Esperanza; I think you have hit the nail right on the head. After talking to my doctor...he said a regimented workout program was often a better "cure" for depression in some people than Meds. When I first went on the Wellbutrin it did seem to help but after a couple of months I felt worse so he added the celexa then...as par for the course I got better for a bit and back down to my current level. I know not working has had a huge effect on my mood and depression. I don't like being at home and everyone keeps telling me they would love it, but I don't. I miss the intensity and sence of urgency of work. I feel like I have lost total control of my life (I know that's not true but I still feel that way)
This really is helping thank you all :)
takingcontrol
05-08-2003, 11:00 AM
This is my new name. I do think I like it better than toochubbyforhubby :D
Houdini
05-08-2003, 11:03 AM
Originally posted by takingcontrol:
This is my new name. I do think I like it better than toochubbyforhubby :D
Wow, what a perfect name! Go get 'em, girl - you can do it! We're all in this together, so stick around and you'll receive tons of support here. Good luck!
:)
This is my new name. I do think I like it better than toochubbyforhubby :D
Wow, what a perfect name! Go get 'em, girl - you can do it! We're all in this together, so stick around and you'll receive tons of support here. Good luck!
:)
jennielynn
05-08-2003, 01:45 PM
Takingcontrol: what a fitting name!!! I'm so glad that you are seeing the brighter side of things now. I know what depression can do to a person. I never have had to take anything for it; but it does come to visit occasionally. Now that I'm focused on taking care of myself; I see it less and less. There were times when I couldn't stand to be around myself!!!LOL The problem with depression is that most people who don't experience it themselves; have no idea of the destruction that it can cause to the person suffering and the people around them. It's easy for them to day "just snap out of it". Not so easily done. But you are taking steps toward taking better care of YOU and that's exactly where you need to be at this point. I'm so proud of you for "taking control" of your life. It's a very important step in the process of making your life what YOU want it to be!!!! God bless; and don't abandon us--I expect to see somewhat regular updates from you!!!
Jen
Jen
Esperanza
05-08-2003, 06:48 PM
:bouncing: CONGRATULATIONS on taking your first step in taking control and not letting the hubby's problems alter your perception of yourself. You are still whole - and that is something to hold on to when you make baby steps in self-love.
Oprah oftens says our weight issue has more to it than just over-eating - and I have begun to come to terms with my issues, and it sounds like so have you.
Like Jen, we welcome you and look forward to hearing from you again.
Oprah oftens says our weight issue has more to it than just over-eating - and I have begun to come to terms with my issues, and it sounds like so have you.
Like Jen, we welcome you and look forward to hearing from you again.
nswa
05-08-2003, 08:56 PM
Hi taking control - (congratulations!!) Just wanted to clarify, I didn't mean to insinuate that you should leave your husband or anything. Actually I feel quite the opposite. I just thought maybe your weight was a symptom of the problem instead of the problem itself. Meaning that if you and your husband worked on getting closer and making each other happy, the incentive and motivation to lose weight might be greater. I agree with what the other girl said about concentrating on the positives - your daughters etc. And also do what you can to turn your relationship with your husband INTO a positive. Taking control is absolutely going to change your life - it feels good to have that power! I'm pulling for you and your family! Good luck!
southern_mom33
05-08-2003, 11:01 PM
Look at how many steps you have taken this week. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif You go girl!!!Great name..
If my mind is working right and if it isnt I am sure some one will correct me.. :) please do.
We are suppose to have 8 - 8oz glasses of water a day.I read on a water site that you can have another 8oz for every 25pds your over weight.I have a tumbler that holds 32oz and I know I have to atleast have 2 of those a day.You will use the bathroom alot at first then your body will adjust to it or well mine has,Or I just dont pay attention to it now..
You do what works for you.No one knows your body like you do.Good Luck I am glad to see you back with all of us...
If my mind is working right and if it isnt I am sure some one will correct me.. :) please do.
We are suppose to have 8 - 8oz glasses of water a day.I read on a water site that you can have another 8oz for every 25pds your over weight.I have a tumbler that holds 32oz and I know I have to atleast have 2 of those a day.You will use the bathroom alot at first then your body will adjust to it or well mine has,Or I just dont pay attention to it now..
You do what works for you.No one knows your body like you do.Good Luck I am glad to see you back with all of us...
takingcontrol
05-09-2003, 11:12 AM
I had a bad evening.. Spent most of it crying. I guess I am starting to feel the effcts of going off my meds. I don't know how to really explain it but when I am on them I don't feel...Kinda in zombie mode. I don't feel emotional. But when I am off I get moody, teary, angry, etc. But, at least now I am moving. I had a long talk with my husband last night (that is what started the tears) I hate to cry :mad: because I do not feel like I am in control when I get emotional. Anyway I got me a good Multi-Vitamin and the supplement DHEA (for my mood) I read on the depression board that it works well for some people. I am starting to drink water today also. I usually drink Diet soda (Diet Mt Dew) I was shocked the other day when I kept track of what I ate and drank that I drank 10 in one day...That can't be good for me. I still think I need something to jump start my weight loss to get me motivated. What does Zantrex-3 do for any of you taking it? Well I am going to go outside and plant some flowers :) Maybe that will put a smile on my face....Thanks for everything
[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 05-11-2003).]
[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 05-11-2003).]
Angela1973
05-11-2003, 07:17 AM
Hello..
I'm brand new here, and was just going to read some posts but yours made me want to reply. First of all at 5'8, you can get away with 215 lbs and not look it. I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but it's very true. I'm 5'2 and believe me, I would love to have the extra 5 inches. Anyway, you should definately talk to your husband about the issues he's having with your weight. If he loves you, there's no way he'd want to leave you because you've gained some weight. I think you did a very good thing by getting off of the Wellbutrin. It does effect people in different ways. I was put on it for depression and was so excited to try it, since it's supposed to help with weight loss. It just about drove me crazy. I was more depressed than ever. I've been put on several different medications for depression..Zoloft..Prozac..Wellbutrin.. .They all just messed with my body and mind and made me feel sluggish like you described. If you feel yourself still feeling depressed after trying to do it on your own, ask your Dr about Effexor. From what my Dr has informed me, it's not exactly an anti-depressant, but sort of a mood stabelizor. I've been on it for about a year and a half and it has changed my life. As far as your weight loss is concerned...I lost almost 100 lbs on my own. More power to you if you can change the way you eat completely. I've always envied those people who say "It was about changing my whole lifestyle of eating." I CANNOT eat fruits and vegetables constantly. I like my "real food" too much..lol. The best advice I can give you is to start excercising. It's horrible at first and you hate it and dread it for about a week, maybe less. But then something happens...You find yourself looking forward to it, and feeling proud of yourself for your accomplishments. You'll begin to want to do more and add weights and other things to your daily routine. I recommend Denise Austin. She's on every day (usually mornings) on Lifetime. I just had a baby, so I'm right back in the ballpark of starting to make myself excercise and lose weight. For 9 months I ate Ho Ho's every day..lol...Hang in there...You can definately do it..This may sound over rated..But, if I can do it..anyone can..Good Luck..Angela
I'm brand new here, and was just going to read some posts but yours made me want to reply. First of all at 5'8, you can get away with 215 lbs and not look it. I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but it's very true. I'm 5'2 and believe me, I would love to have the extra 5 inches. Anyway, you should definately talk to your husband about the issues he's having with your weight. If he loves you, there's no way he'd want to leave you because you've gained some weight. I think you did a very good thing by getting off of the Wellbutrin. It does effect people in different ways. I was put on it for depression and was so excited to try it, since it's supposed to help with weight loss. It just about drove me crazy. I was more depressed than ever. I've been put on several different medications for depression..Zoloft..Prozac..Wellbutrin.. .They all just messed with my body and mind and made me feel sluggish like you described. If you feel yourself still feeling depressed after trying to do it on your own, ask your Dr about Effexor. From what my Dr has informed me, it's not exactly an anti-depressant, but sort of a mood stabelizor. I've been on it for about a year and a half and it has changed my life. As far as your weight loss is concerned...I lost almost 100 lbs on my own. More power to you if you can change the way you eat completely. I've always envied those people who say "It was about changing my whole lifestyle of eating." I CANNOT eat fruits and vegetables constantly. I like my "real food" too much..lol. The best advice I can give you is to start excercising. It's horrible at first and you hate it and dread it for about a week, maybe less. But then something happens...You find yourself looking forward to it, and feeling proud of yourself for your accomplishments. You'll begin to want to do more and add weights and other things to your daily routine. I recommend Denise Austin. She's on every day (usually mornings) on Lifetime. I just had a baby, so I'm right back in the ballpark of starting to make myself excercise and lose weight. For 9 months I ate Ho Ho's every day..lol...Hang in there...You can definately do it..This may sound over rated..But, if I can do it..anyone can..Good Luck..Angela
takingcontrol
05-12-2003, 01:41 PM
Weclome Angela 1973....I am glad you replied to my post I think this board is great therapy fo me.
I had a really busy weekend and only yelled at the kids and husband a few times. I explained to my husband that I was coming off the meds so if he cloud please help when I am moody to call me on it so I can take a "time-out". It is working. Since my first post I have GAINED 2 pounds...But I am not to worried about them right now because I don't feel as big. Anything to that mussle weighs more than fat thing????
Anyway my pants are not as tight. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif I had no tears this weekend (except while watching an old Rosanne rerun :D ) Don't know what triggered those tears, but they only lasted a few second. I only watched TV with my kids and for only 3 hours total the whole weekend. For me that is a hugh accomplishment. I did not drink all the water I wanted to over the weekend but I am back on the wagon today.
I appreciate you all so much you really have no idea how much coming to this board helps me. It is not just posting here, It is also reading the other threads. Thanks for your help
TC
I had a really busy weekend and only yelled at the kids and husband a few times. I explained to my husband that I was coming off the meds so if he cloud please help when I am moody to call me on it so I can take a "time-out". It is working. Since my first post I have GAINED 2 pounds...But I am not to worried about them right now because I don't feel as big. Anything to that mussle weighs more than fat thing????
Anyway my pants are not as tight. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif I had no tears this weekend (except while watching an old Rosanne rerun :D ) Don't know what triggered those tears, but they only lasted a few second. I only watched TV with my kids and for only 3 hours total the whole weekend. For me that is a hugh accomplishment. I did not drink all the water I wanted to over the weekend but I am back on the wagon today.
I appreciate you all so much you really have no idea how much coming to this board helps me. It is not just posting here, It is also reading the other threads. Thanks for your help
TC
Esperanza
05-12-2003, 02:10 PM
I was on Efexor (my husband promotes it), and I found that I felt exactly what you felt - that I was an emotional zombie - which is not part of my personality but was necessary as I work with children and tried to get a grip on my own personal burdens. I am glad I am off it, but I still feel the highs and lows - I think for me it is part hormonal and part hereditary (my mom has bi-polar).
Angela1973
05-12-2003, 03:00 PM
I just want to give you a little tip. You shouldn't worry as much about what you weigh, as what your body is telling you. I gave up on weighing years ago and went to measuring. You'll find that when you lose an inch around your waist, you feel alot more excited than seeing you only lost a pound. Your body weight will fluxuate day to day, because of water and other silly things in your body. It is definately true that muscle weighs more than fat. The most wonderful things in the world to me are weights. I started off slow with 3lbs and worked my way up to 5lbs and then 8lbs. Your arms, back and shoulders will love you for it and you'll see results fairly soon. Once you start seeing results, you'll be able to stay on track with excercise easy. Take my advice with the Denise Austin show. She's a wonderful person and doesn't make you feel big and sluggish like some of these teeny little girls on those shows do. I taped her every morning and when everyone left the house for the day, it was just me and Denise..lol. Like I said, I had a baby 5 weeks ago and will start a slow and small excercise regiman again for the first time this week. I look forward to it, but it's gonna be a long road. You're not alone!!! I hope you do better the rest of the week with coming off the meds. If you feel like you can't do it, it's okay. Sometimes you need medication. It's nothing to feel ashamed of. Depression is a tricky disease. Sometimes you have to try several meds before you find what's right for you. Talk to your Dr. about Effexor. It might not be right for you, but there's something for everyone. Good Luck again and have a good day!! Angela
takingcontrol
05-15-2003, 08:15 PM
I lost the 2 pounds I had gained. :bouncing: problem is I think it was all from my breasts! :eek:
I am doing pretty good. I am stiking to my water and not watching TV. I am working on getting my eating under control. I have been getting up and working outside but I think I over did it. I am so sore I can hardly move. But I am still walking in the AM and shooting hoops with the girls in the evening. Hey it is better than nothing.
Okay here is the question. How do I keep myself from letting my husbands constant checking up not bother my nerves? I mean I know he is tring to be supportive BUT I feel like he is my warden....(Hard to explain) Anyway it is tough because I think he feels like if he doesn't nag me I won't lose the weight. Simple questionS like "what did you eat today? or Did you drink all your water?" ends up feeling negative...like I am not doing enough. Blah blah blah
Any advice later
TC
I am doing pretty good. I am stiking to my water and not watching TV. I am working on getting my eating under control. I have been getting up and working outside but I think I over did it. I am so sore I can hardly move. But I am still walking in the AM and shooting hoops with the girls in the evening. Hey it is better than nothing.
Okay here is the question. How do I keep myself from letting my husbands constant checking up not bother my nerves? I mean I know he is tring to be supportive BUT I feel like he is my warden....(Hard to explain) Anyway it is tough because I think he feels like if he doesn't nag me I won't lose the weight. Simple questionS like "what did you eat today? or Did you drink all your water?" ends up feeling negative...like I am not doing enough. Blah blah blah
Any advice later
TC
southern_mom33
05-15-2003, 08:26 PM
TC
I must say I am so proud of you...
You have done so much and you know you may lose inches before pounds.Which is even better in my book.Tell hubby that its not all in the pounds, inches are just as great.Now I think he is trying to be a help in his man kind of way.Tell him honey I wish you wouldnt ask me every day.Say I am doing this not as a diet but as a change in my life.Maybe if you hit him with Honey guess what I did today at the door when he walked in he might get annoyed and feel like that this is all you think and want to talk about...LoL...No biggie if you dont do all your water on the weekend take a day off from it,dont let it get to you, then you wont stick with it...Dont get depressed over this.
Hang in and good luck..
Dee
I must say I am so proud of you...
You have done so much and you know you may lose inches before pounds.Which is even better in my book.Tell hubby that its not all in the pounds, inches are just as great.Now I think he is trying to be a help in his man kind of way.Tell him honey I wish you wouldnt ask me every day.Say I am doing this not as a diet but as a change in my life.Maybe if you hit him with Honey guess what I did today at the door when he walked in he might get annoyed and feel like that this is all you think and want to talk about...LoL...No biggie if you dont do all your water on the weekend take a day off from it,dont let it get to you, then you wont stick with it...Dont get depressed over this.
Hang in and good luck..
Dee
kk1978
05-15-2003, 10:10 PM
I have to agree with what most of these people are saying. It most deffinetely has to come from within. Being military myself, I still kept watching myself get bigger and bigger, and would watch tv and not get up and do anything. I have two kids and before them I never felt as if I had a weight problem, but I used to run six miles a day before them so I was toned. But then my weight climbed and finally I hit 223 and there was this little thing that clicked one day and I said hey I am going to do something about this. I kept on saying oh I will start tomorrow and then finally one day I did. I said enough is enough and I started Atkins. That was in Febuary and I have done really well with it. My friends tell me I have lost a third of myself now. I am still going.
Sorry to be so long winded, but I just have to tell you that your mind has to be ready. You will now it when it is. When you can tell yourself that being able to play with your kids and feel great about yourself means more to you than sitting in front of the tv and eating out of boredom(which was one of my biggest things, switch to homemade popcorn, much better for you) Than you will be ready to start on that path to a better life.
I am not going to tell you to lose the husband, because it just isn't that easy for a married person to do that, but I will tell you to love yourself and be proud of yourself for trying to make the effort to become what you want yourself to be. Enjoy your triumphs even at the simplest pd...
Good Luck and sorry to be so long winded, but we are all here for your support. Just keep coming back each day when you feel week.
Atkins really works if you put the effort in but it is a life long commitment that doesn't work for everyone.
Most of all NEVER QUIT! NEVER GIVE UP!
kk
Sorry to be so long winded, but I just have to tell you that your mind has to be ready. You will now it when it is. When you can tell yourself that being able to play with your kids and feel great about yourself means more to you than sitting in front of the tv and eating out of boredom(which was one of my biggest things, switch to homemade popcorn, much better for you) Than you will be ready to start on that path to a better life.
I am not going to tell you to lose the husband, because it just isn't that easy for a married person to do that, but I will tell you to love yourself and be proud of yourself for trying to make the effort to become what you want yourself to be. Enjoy your triumphs even at the simplest pd...
Good Luck and sorry to be so long winded, but we are all here for your support. Just keep coming back each day when you feel week.
Atkins really works if you put the effort in but it is a life long commitment that doesn't work for everyone.
Most of all NEVER QUIT! NEVER GIVE UP!
kk
jifferdawn
05-16-2003, 12:54 AM
Okay, I have to jump in here. I haven't read all the millions of posts because ... well, there's a million! I skimmed through many, though.
#1 I applaud you for doing whatever you can to look good for your hubby. It's awful that he makes you feel bad about yourself and even left you once because of it. But there is also something to be said about a wife who loves her husband enough, who values her marriage and family enough to want to be pleasing for her man. Many women today would say "forget it" and kick him out. That's the easy way out. You're doing the more difficult thing. The thing that takes character and commitment. I applaud you.
#2 I'm new to this board too, but my diet advice will likely become well known soon. I've already posted it a couple of times. It's basically ... "Eat less food". Sounds like basic common sense, I know. But, in actuality, with all the diet crazes going around, it sometimes gets lost among all the rules that tell you to count fats, count calories, drink tons of water, eat specific foods, don't eat specific foods, etc, etc, etc. Eating for me used to be one of two things. If I wasn't "dieting", I'd eat pretty much as much as I wanted of whatever I wanted. I wasn't huge, but certainly overweight and miserable. This way of eating was especially true when I was pregnant. All sense of portions went out the window.
My other mode of eating was, of course, tasteless low fat foods, counting fats and following a bunch of diet rules. It was a total drag.
Finally, I learned there's an in between mode! Eat less food. It doesn't have to be tasteless low fat foods. It can be foods I love. When I was trying to "be good", I would fill up on something "low fat", but learned eating "less" of something I really liked was so much more satisfying. I learned to clue into my true hunger signals and to stop eating when I was "politely" full. I purposefully avoid anything labled "low fat", like dressings or mayo. I eat real butter. I eat chocolate. I LOVE chocolate! I only have small amounts, though, like one chocolate candy after lunch and one after dinner. It satisfies my craving and I don't have to have any guilt whatsoever. I can eat Mc Donald's. I can eat pizza. I am purposeful at trying to add fruits and veggies into my diet since they are not my favorite foods and I know my body craves them.
The key is balance. If you follow around a person you consider to be "naturally thin", someone who has never had a weight problem, you'd most likely find they eat like this. They'll go to Mc Donald's and order a Big Mac and maybe only eat half of it. Some people might think this is insane and that they could never actually do this, but you CAN when you eat slowly, you enjoy the flavor as you eat it, you begin to realize it's not tasting as great as it did when you started eating and you realize ... "I'm comfortably full". We often eat so fast that we eat way too much before we ever even feel a full signal. If you eat slower, you realize you're full before you overeat.
Sometimes I order Kid's Meals at fast food places because I know I don't need more food than that and it will help me not overeat.
This natural way of eating can be very difficult to imagine for people who are so programmed to "diet" and/or to eat everything in sight. "If there's ice cream in the fridge, I'll eat it until it's gone" ... is a common claim. I used to be that way, until I realized, "I can have a small scoop of it and the ice cream will still be there later if I really, really, am hungry for it ... not just eating out of bordeom. Foods like ice cream because less appealing the more you eat like this ... believe it or not. Your body craves "real foods" and you eventually learn to appreciate ice cream in small amounts and any more just makes you feel yucky.
I could go on all day because this way of eating changed my life. I lost 30 pounds eating this way, then hit a plateau for a couple of years, but maintained. Then I got in a mode and lost 15 more and hit another plateau. I'm basically thin, but would like to lose 10 to 15 more, so I'm back to being extra careful "how much" I eat.
There's my two cents worth. Hope it helps somebody because it sure changed my life.
Blessings,
Jen
#1 I applaud you for doing whatever you can to look good for your hubby. It's awful that he makes you feel bad about yourself and even left you once because of it. But there is also something to be said about a wife who loves her husband enough, who values her marriage and family enough to want to be pleasing for her man. Many women today would say "forget it" and kick him out. That's the easy way out. You're doing the more difficult thing. The thing that takes character and commitment. I applaud you.
#2 I'm new to this board too, but my diet advice will likely become well known soon. I've already posted it a couple of times. It's basically ... "Eat less food". Sounds like basic common sense, I know. But, in actuality, with all the diet crazes going around, it sometimes gets lost among all the rules that tell you to count fats, count calories, drink tons of water, eat specific foods, don't eat specific foods, etc, etc, etc. Eating for me used to be one of two things. If I wasn't "dieting", I'd eat pretty much as much as I wanted of whatever I wanted. I wasn't huge, but certainly overweight and miserable. This way of eating was especially true when I was pregnant. All sense of portions went out the window.
My other mode of eating was, of course, tasteless low fat foods, counting fats and following a bunch of diet rules. It was a total drag.
Finally, I learned there's an in between mode! Eat less food. It doesn't have to be tasteless low fat foods. It can be foods I love. When I was trying to "be good", I would fill up on something "low fat", but learned eating "less" of something I really liked was so much more satisfying. I learned to clue into my true hunger signals and to stop eating when I was "politely" full. I purposefully avoid anything labled "low fat", like dressings or mayo. I eat real butter. I eat chocolate. I LOVE chocolate! I only have small amounts, though, like one chocolate candy after lunch and one after dinner. It satisfies my craving and I don't have to have any guilt whatsoever. I can eat Mc Donald's. I can eat pizza. I am purposeful at trying to add fruits and veggies into my diet since they are not my favorite foods and I know my body craves them.
The key is balance. If you follow around a person you consider to be "naturally thin", someone who has never had a weight problem, you'd most likely find they eat like this. They'll go to Mc Donald's and order a Big Mac and maybe only eat half of it. Some people might think this is insane and that they could never actually do this, but you CAN when you eat slowly, you enjoy the flavor as you eat it, you begin to realize it's not tasting as great as it did when you started eating and you realize ... "I'm comfortably full". We often eat so fast that we eat way too much before we ever even feel a full signal. If you eat slower, you realize you're full before you overeat.
Sometimes I order Kid's Meals at fast food places because I know I don't need more food than that and it will help me not overeat.
This natural way of eating can be very difficult to imagine for people who are so programmed to "diet" and/or to eat everything in sight. "If there's ice cream in the fridge, I'll eat it until it's gone" ... is a common claim. I used to be that way, until I realized, "I can have a small scoop of it and the ice cream will still be there later if I really, really, am hungry for it ... not just eating out of bordeom. Foods like ice cream because less appealing the more you eat like this ... believe it or not. Your body craves "real foods" and you eventually learn to appreciate ice cream in small amounts and any more just makes you feel yucky.
I could go on all day because this way of eating changed my life. I lost 30 pounds eating this way, then hit a plateau for a couple of years, but maintained. Then I got in a mode and lost 15 more and hit another plateau. I'm basically thin, but would like to lose 10 to 15 more, so I'm back to being extra careful "how much" I eat.
There's my two cents worth. Hope it helps somebody because it sure changed my life.
Blessings,
Jen
jennielynn
05-16-2003, 10:04 AM
From one Jen to another: thanks for sharing your story! You are an inspiration to all of us and I hope to hear lots more from you! That's exactly what I'm striving for--being able to eat the foods that I love and not feel guilty about it. This diet stuff gets old really quick--not something I want to do for the rest of my life. Life's too short to be yo-yoing all of the time!!!
Jen
Jen
Smackerel
05-16-2003, 01:14 PM
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif Thumbs up for you! Changing your name to TakingControl was a great first step. Please excuse my name as on another board I kept trying name after name and they were all taken. "Smackerel" finally popped into mind as one that would not be taken already on a weight loss board! And if I stick to the same name on the boards I stand half a chance of remembering it.
Back to YOU....my firs suggestion would be to get some professional counseling. I went for over a year (at age 49)when my parents divorced and my mother was dying. The counseling will help you to figure out how to deal with your husband and your depression. Perhaps his issue with your weight is HIS issue. Running out on you or threatening you that he will leave is not a pro-active manner for him to deal with his issue. Counseling will help validate your worth as a person and YOU ARE WORTH IT!
AS for battling the bulge, I weighed in at the doc's office the other day at 242...about 100 pounds over when I got married 31 years ago...it's time for me to tackle the weight issue too. I take Serzone for depression. Also take Neurontin for restless leg syndrome but someone told me that they heard Neurontin causes weight gain. Anyone out there heard that? :wave:
Back to YOU....my firs suggestion would be to get some professional counseling. I went for over a year (at age 49)when my parents divorced and my mother was dying. The counseling will help you to figure out how to deal with your husband and your depression. Perhaps his issue with your weight is HIS issue. Running out on you or threatening you that he will leave is not a pro-active manner for him to deal with his issue. Counseling will help validate your worth as a person and YOU ARE WORTH IT!
AS for battling the bulge, I weighed in at the doc's office the other day at 242...about 100 pounds over when I got married 31 years ago...it's time for me to tackle the weight issue too. I take Serzone for depression. Also take Neurontin for restless leg syndrome but someone told me that they heard Neurontin causes weight gain. Anyone out there heard that? :wave:
jifferdawn
05-17-2003, 04:14 PM
I was just on a walking website since I'm back into walking again. Somebody said they were walking because it helps their depression and someone else replied that a friend of hers took up walking and it really helped her depression as well.
Exercise releases stuff inside your body that gives you a sense of well being. (That's my non-medical way of saying it!)
Anyhow, I don't remember if you said anything about exercise in your posts, but I highly recommend walking. It's easy and if you don't stress yourself out too much about distance and speed, bit can be a lot of fun, peaceful and stress relieving.
So, there's my two cents worth on walking.
My first recommendation in battling depression, of course, is God. But since this is a weight loss board, I'll not go there unless asked!
Blessings,
Jen
Exercise releases stuff inside your body that gives you a sense of well being. (That's my non-medical way of saying it!)
Anyhow, I don't remember if you said anything about exercise in your posts, but I highly recommend walking. It's easy and if you don't stress yourself out too much about distance and speed, bit can be a lot of fun, peaceful and stress relieving.
So, there's my two cents worth on walking.
My first recommendation in battling depression, of course, is God. But since this is a weight loss board, I'll not go there unless asked!
Blessings,
Jen
Esperanza
05-17-2003, 05:03 PM
:)These Jens sure give good advice. In my journey, I have been doing the same thing and have so far lost 15 pounds. Doesn't sound like much when I have 45 more to go, but it has begun to be noticeable and placed me in a new dress size.
Regarding your husband, I wonder if you are experiencing yet another one of HIS ISSUE OF CONTROL. His threatening to leave and now the check-in questioning. If this rings true, then I agree with southernmom - you take control and pro-actively approach him about your daily success. In this way, you will be taking the power away from him and placing it back in your hands! You have come a long way in changing your name and eating to take control.
Last night, my husband actually ironed a linen outfit for me as we were running late in meeting friends for dinner. He did this because my other dress up clothes did not fit and looked ridiculous. Now he has been known to say he was disgusted with my weight gain, but since I was experiencing problems with my success, he ironed the outfit without a fuss! And when I looked at how he was looking at me from the corner of my eyes - I could see his approval.
Keep up what you are doing, and soon you will see this look as well - but remember, he is the one with the problem of control.{{{{hugs}}}}
Regarding your husband, I wonder if you are experiencing yet another one of HIS ISSUE OF CONTROL. His threatening to leave and now the check-in questioning. If this rings true, then I agree with southernmom - you take control and pro-actively approach him about your daily success. In this way, you will be taking the power away from him and placing it back in your hands! You have come a long way in changing your name and eating to take control.
Last night, my husband actually ironed a linen outfit for me as we were running late in meeting friends for dinner. He did this because my other dress up clothes did not fit and looked ridiculous. Now he has been known to say he was disgusted with my weight gain, but since I was experiencing problems with my success, he ironed the outfit without a fuss! And when I looked at how he was looking at me from the corner of my eyes - I could see his approval.
Keep up what you are doing, and soon you will see this look as well - but remember, he is the one with the problem of control.{{{{hugs}}}}
takingcontrol
05-18-2003, 03:36 PM
Hey you guys,
I agree them "Jens" really do offer the best advice. Esperanza I really do think we you are somehow tuned into me. Things are going pretty good I took Southernmoms advice (She gives awesome advice also) and met him at the door and rattled off everything I had eating and drank and what I did for exercise yesterday it kinda left him with nothing else to say.. ;) ..I agree that the activity is helping my mood a great deal, and I believe the DHEA is helping too. I was walking but I got these blisters on my feet and I ordered a new pair of shoes...I need a double wide shoe and I could not find any around here...They are on the way and I am going to start back on the walks. Right now I am riding my bike and getting out and working in the yard. My flowers are not blooming yet but they are starting to come up.
I still have not lost even a pound (other than the 2 I had gained) It is starting to get on my nerves but I am still going to keep up what I have started, because I do really feel better. It even feels good to get mad at my husband instead of down on myself.
Okay does this sound like I am mental? The other day my husband noticed I had been coming to this site and ask what I was doing and what my name was. I lied and said I just read the threads and did not post any myself. I don't want him to know I am talking on here because I am afraid if he knows I will not be totally honest about how I am feeling and how the weight loss is going. I don't know why, after I said it I kinda felt weird. Well I am starting to get too long winded I will check back soon.
TC
I agree them "Jens" really do offer the best advice. Esperanza I really do think we you are somehow tuned into me. Things are going pretty good I took Southernmoms advice (She gives awesome advice also) and met him at the door and rattled off everything I had eating and drank and what I did for exercise yesterday it kinda left him with nothing else to say.. ;) ..I agree that the activity is helping my mood a great deal, and I believe the DHEA is helping too. I was walking but I got these blisters on my feet and I ordered a new pair of shoes...I need a double wide shoe and I could not find any around here...They are on the way and I am going to start back on the walks. Right now I am riding my bike and getting out and working in the yard. My flowers are not blooming yet but they are starting to come up.
I still have not lost even a pound (other than the 2 I had gained) It is starting to get on my nerves but I am still going to keep up what I have started, because I do really feel better. It even feels good to get mad at my husband instead of down on myself.
Okay does this sound like I am mental? The other day my husband noticed I had been coming to this site and ask what I was doing and what my name was. I lied and said I just read the threads and did not post any myself. I don't want him to know I am talking on here because I am afraid if he knows I will not be totally honest about how I am feeling and how the weight loss is going. I don't know why, after I said it I kinda felt weird. Well I am starting to get too long winded I will check back soon.
TC
Esperanza
05-18-2003, 05:24 PM
TC - You have a right to have a space that is just for yourself. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif
No, you are not mental, once again, he seems to want to "control" - My husband knows I post, but he doesn't care - he is just pleased that I have remained committed to this journey and that the results are showing. That is the difference between support and control.
Mind you, I am not saying my hubby is perfect, but I do like that he has given me my space throughout my 19 year marriage (we married when I was 30 and he was 35). Frankly, I think this is why we are still together. It's a personality qwirk of mine - not liking to be hovered - which is why I teach (no direct supervision) ;)
Do a search on fitday - begin posting what you are eating. You may find this helpful to bring your awareness of your consumption up. It has helped me. For example, I had "huevos rancheros" - a favorite mexican breakfast (3 eggs, tomoatoe sauce, some beans and 2 flour tortillas) and I thought I did well until I tallied the calories - a whopping 770 - that is half my allowance of 1200 per day! So I won't be doing that too often again - I was hungry two hours later :mad:
Awesome job by the way on your activities - I know the feeling of feeling rejuventated and connected again! Congratulations and keep the spirit soaring!
[This message has been edited by Esperanza (edited 05-18-2003).]
No, you are not mental, once again, he seems to want to "control" - My husband knows I post, but he doesn't care - he is just pleased that I have remained committed to this journey and that the results are showing. That is the difference between support and control.
Mind you, I am not saying my hubby is perfect, but I do like that he has given me my space throughout my 19 year marriage (we married when I was 30 and he was 35). Frankly, I think this is why we are still together. It's a personality qwirk of mine - not liking to be hovered - which is why I teach (no direct supervision) ;)
Do a search on fitday - begin posting what you are eating. You may find this helpful to bring your awareness of your consumption up. It has helped me. For example, I had "huevos rancheros" - a favorite mexican breakfast (3 eggs, tomoatoe sauce, some beans and 2 flour tortillas) and I thought I did well until I tallied the calories - a whopping 770 - that is half my allowance of 1200 per day! So I won't be doing that too often again - I was hungry two hours later :mad:
Awesome job by the way on your activities - I know the feeling of feeling rejuventated and connected again! Congratulations and keep the spirit soaring!
[This message has been edited by Esperanza (edited 05-18-2003).]
takingcontrol
05-20-2003, 09:25 AM
I lost 2 lbs :bouncing: Go Me...Go Me...Go me....
I know it is not much but that is the first time in a long time I have seen the scale move counter clockwise. Feeling good, went and checked out fitday It looks pretty cool. Sorry this one is so short but I have to go do errands. Type at ya later
TC
I know it is not much but that is the first time in a long time I have seen the scale move counter clockwise. Feeling good, went and checked out fitday It looks pretty cool. Sorry this one is so short but I have to go do errands. Type at ya later
TC
takingcontrol
05-20-2003, 09:31 AM
Sorry for the double post
I lost 2 Lbs :bouncing: go me...go me...go me...
I know it is not much but it is the first time in a long time I have seen the scale move counter clockwise. I am feeling good today I went and checked out fitday it looks pretty cool. Sorry this is so short but I have to go do errands. Type at ya later
TC
[This message has been edited by takingcontrol (edited 05-20-2003).]
I lost 2 Lbs :bouncing: go me...go me...go me...
I know it is not much but it is the first time in a long time I have seen the scale move counter clockwise. I am feeling good today I went and checked out fitday it looks pretty cool. Sorry this is so short but I have to go do errands. Type at ya later
TC
[This message has been edited by takingcontrol (edited 05-20-2003).]
Houdini
05-20-2003, 09:48 AM
TC, congrats on the two pounds! Don't look at it as "not much" - after all, did it boost your mood & motivation? I thought so! Besides, you've gotta start somewhere. Next thing you know, it will be 5 pounds, then 10. Just keep at it - sounds like you're doing a great job!
Try to make a habit out of using Fitday. Once you play around with it & see what all it has to offer, you'll see how useful it is. I don't remember who recommended it to me, but I'm sure glad they did. Hope you have a great day!
:)
Try to make a habit out of using Fitday. Once you play around with it & see what all it has to offer, you'll see how useful it is. I don't remember who recommended it to me, but I'm sure glad they did. Hope you have a great day!
:)
jennielynn
05-20-2003, 10:08 AM
Congrats on the weightloss takingcontrol!!! I knew you had it in you--you just had to realize it for yourself. Keep going; don't look back--unless it's to learn from past mistakes!
About your hubby and visiting this website: don't be embarrassed about it. It's your time and your method of support!!! My hubbby doesn't know that I post on here--mainly because I try to do it when he's not home. We have limited time together as it is; so when he's here; I like to spend time with the family. But if he found out--who cares! I'd be proud to tell him that I've found friends here who give me so much support! Heck; I don't gripe at him for being on e-bay! (His favorite site). And it doesn't take time away from him so he should have no complaints!!!!
Jen
About your hubby and visiting this website: don't be embarrassed about it. It's your time and your method of support!!! My hubbby doesn't know that I post on here--mainly because I try to do it when he's not home. We have limited time together as it is; so when he's here; I like to spend time with the family. But if he found out--who cares! I'd be proud to tell him that I've found friends here who give me so much support! Heck; I don't gripe at him for being on e-bay! (His favorite site). And it doesn't take time away from him so he should have no complaints!!!!
Jen
Esperanza
05-20-2003, 11:39 PM
TC - Congratualtions :bouncing: That character is me ;). Like Houdini said, it starts out like that on a weekly basis, but soon the tally begins.
[This message has been edited by Esperanza (edited 05-20-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Esperanza (edited 05-20-2003).]
southern_mom33
05-21-2003, 12:13 AM
TC WAY TO GO GIRL http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif
I hope you met hubby at the door with that news.. :)
This is where it will all start to come off.That is how it was for me I am sure you are going to see a big change in a few weeks.Just hang in and be strong.It takes time for your body to understand what you are doing it will catch up with you.
As for hubby knowing about us, you make that call.My hubby is glad I found this site and I have found out I wasnt the only one feeling the way I was.He knows he couldnt talk and give tips like this board does.I have an ex that I would of hidden this board from so I understand.Hence I said Ex :)
Good Luck and hang in with us and use fitday.That is a big help.
I hope you met hubby at the door with that news.. :)
This is where it will all start to come off.That is how it was for me I am sure you are going to see a big change in a few weeks.Just hang in and be strong.It takes time for your body to understand what you are doing it will catch up with you.
As for hubby knowing about us, you make that call.My hubby is glad I found this site and I have found out I wasnt the only one feeling the way I was.He knows he couldnt talk and give tips like this board does.I have an ex that I would of hidden this board from so I understand.Hence I said Ex :)
Good Luck and hang in with us and use fitday.That is a big help.
sherbear
05-21-2003, 07:39 PM
Hello to chubby for hubby. I am new to the boards-just signed up 15 minutes ago. I read your message and was touched because I know exactly what you mean. I am 33 years old and right now I weigh in at 250 and I am only 5'5" so don't feel like you are the lone ranger. I feel so unattractive, I avoid mirrors I make myself sick. I can't believe what I have done to myself. I use to weigh about 130 and was a size 12 when I was 16. My husband is more supportive than yours so that is were we differ. But we have had ALOT of fights regarding my weight and for him it is more a health issue-I do not want Diabetes and High Blood pressure. I have two teenage boys and am unemployed just finished schooling for Medical Coding and Billing which has really been a wonderful endeavor for me. I really encourage you to take any schooling even at home or online courses. I am also going to start Xenedrine EFX and I have been on Celexa for over a year. Get on your machine girl. Let's do it together.
takingcontrol
05-23-2003, 09:43 AM
Wecome to the Board Sherbear, I changed my name from "toochubbyforhubby" to "takingcontrol". Your suggestion to get on that machine is something I as tring to do, as a matter of fact I just got off the Lifecycle....24 minutes level 1...I used to ride that dang thing 24 minutes at level 9, level one was very hard today. I am going to set my goal for three times a week for now and try to move up a level every week or so until I get back to level 9. Wish me motivation.
It is friday and I have had a very good week. I did not lay down and go back to sleep after the girls left for school at all this week. It has rained alot here so I wasn't able to work in the yard except for Tuesday, but I stayed busy and did not turn on the TV. I lost another pound so that is 3 pound total Yeah! I wish it were faster but this is a life change right...I read all of the post about people starting thier diets and at first they loose faster (six or so in the first week) then it slows down. Well, I am hoping mine will speed up. I think fitday is great!
I am going to go to my Moms this weekend. This is going to be very tough....That is where I learned all of my overeating "skills". It is so hard to resist all the country cooking. My Mom makes the worlds best homemade bicuits, gravy, and sausage. It is typical for us as a family to pig out on two or three helping of this for breakfast. Here is my plan I am not going to avoid it altogether...I am only going to have Half a biscuit, ONE sausage, and ONE spoonful of gravy. When my Moms starts in telling me "you can have more than that" or "Big breakfast keep you going" I am just going to say "No" and leave the table. Wish me luck well I am going to go and do something, I don't know what but something. Type at yoy later.
TC
It is friday and I have had a very good week. I did not lay down and go back to sleep after the girls left for school at all this week. It has rained alot here so I wasn't able to work in the yard except for Tuesday, but I stayed busy and did not turn on the TV. I lost another pound so that is 3 pound total Yeah! I wish it were faster but this is a life change right...I read all of the post about people starting thier diets and at first they loose faster (six or so in the first week) then it slows down. Well, I am hoping mine will speed up. I think fitday is great!
I am going to go to my Moms this weekend. This is going to be very tough....That is where I learned all of my overeating "skills". It is so hard to resist all the country cooking. My Mom makes the worlds best homemade bicuits, gravy, and sausage. It is typical for us as a family to pig out on two or three helping of this for breakfast. Here is my plan I am not going to avoid it altogether...I am only going to have Half a biscuit, ONE sausage, and ONE spoonful of gravy. When my Moms starts in telling me "you can have more than that" or "Big breakfast keep you going" I am just going to say "No" and leave the table. Wish me luck well I am going to go and do something, I don't know what but something. Type at yoy later.
TC
Esperanza
05-24-2003, 12:16 AM
First of all, congratulations on your 3 pounds! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif Second, I wanted to let you know that I lost initially only 2 pounds the first week. I wasn't on any drastic weight loss plan - just beginning to learn awareness. In fact, they say it is not that healthy to lose too quickly - I hear many just gain it back just as fast! So take heart.
Your plan when you go to your mom's sounds good. I will allow myself bites and in between drink the water or coffee - whatever is handy at the moment. I have found that people really respect it when I say "no thank you, I am trying to watch what I eat" - maybe because they think I have to -lol.
Have a great weekend - :)
Your plan when you go to your mom's sounds good. I will allow myself bites and in between drink the water or coffee - whatever is handy at the moment. I have found that people really respect it when I say "no thank you, I am trying to watch what I eat" - maybe because they think I have to -lol.
Have a great weekend - :)
Esperanza
05-24-2003, 12:17 AM
First of all, congratulations on your 3 pounds! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif Second, I wanted to let you know that I lost initially only 2 pounds the first week. I wasn't on any drastic weight loss plan - just beginning to learn awareness. In fact, they say it is not that healthy to lose too quickly - I hear many just gain it back just as fast! So take heart.
Your plan when you go to your mom's sounds good. I will allow myself bites and in between drink the water or coffee - whatever is handy at the moment. I have found that people really respect it when I say "no thank you, I am trying to watch what I eat" - maybe because they think I have to -lol.
Have a great weekend - :)
Your plan when you go to your mom's sounds good. I will allow myself bites and in between drink the water or coffee - whatever is handy at the moment. I have found that people really respect it when I say "no thank you, I am trying to watch what I eat" - maybe because they think I have to -lol.
Have a great weekend - :)
takingcontrol
05-29-2003, 02:48 PM
Well I am back from my Moms....Did not gain but 1 pound back....I am looking at this as a success because I could of gained 5!! ha ha Anyway it was not too bad my Dad kept telling me "no way your full" and "Eat Eat" but I had my one helping and stuck with it. I did not drink my water and I sure feel guilty for not drinking it. That is a weird kind of guilt for me. Anyway I have to run and take a friend to the airport I will check in after...
TC
TC
Houdini
05-29-2003, 11:08 PM
Originally posted by takingcontrol:
Well I am back from my Moms....Did not gain but 1 pound back....I am looking at this as a success because I could of gained 5!!...TC
Congrats, TC - you did well! Great job! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif
------------------
"If there are no [mastiffs] in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
- Will Rogers
Well I am back from my Moms....Did not gain but 1 pound back....I am looking at this as a success because I could of gained 5!!...TC
Congrats, TC - you did well! Great job! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif
------------------
"If there are no [mastiffs] in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
- Will Rogers