DonutsNCoffee
10-24-2003, 11:34 AM
I read an article about a recent study that showed just being next to someone who's overweight reflected negatively on a person. I was having lunch with a coworker one time. She just happened to have a weight problem and I was a lot thinner than I am now. When we walked into the restaurant, the host gave me a look. It was almost as if he was judging me for being with her. The idea that you could be judged for the company you keep is nothing new, but this was quite a surprise to me. Has anyone else experienced this?
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Dietprincess
10-24-2003, 11:58 AM
yes! (btw, donuts...so good to see you! why dont you come back to the tg challenge...we miss you! we need a guy in there! lol!!! :)
ANYWHO, i had a friend that i worked with who i just loved. and she was very overweight (probably about 200 lbs overweight).....We (and even just I) ALWAYS got looks when we went out to eat. it was horrible. and she always noticed. it was as if they were afraid she was going to eat them out of food. Its just sick really!!!!
ANYWHO, i had a friend that i worked with who i just loved. and she was very overweight (probably about 200 lbs overweight).....We (and even just I) ALWAYS got looks when we went out to eat. it was horrible. and she always noticed. it was as if they were afraid she was going to eat them out of food. Its just sick really!!!!
Froggie98
10-24-2003, 12:00 PM
I have not experienced this, but my sister (a psych major in college) recently did a study on attractiveness and how it affects perception (both of self and other) and behavior. She is still working on compiling data, but her initial findings indicate a trend towards your experience.
When I was overweight, I looked bigger (because I was!) than my husband. He is a little guy (5'8", maybe 150 pounds). I am only 3 inches shorter and used to weigh 155. I used to feel like people looked at us as though we were oddly paired. No one ever actally said anything, but I know what people were thinking.
I think it would be interesting to do some research on this topic (if I had time!).
------------------
SW 156
CW 125
Goal = MAINTAIN
5'5" Female, 27 yrs. old
When I was overweight, I looked bigger (because I was!) than my husband. He is a little guy (5'8", maybe 150 pounds). I am only 3 inches shorter and used to weigh 155. I used to feel like people looked at us as though we were oddly paired. No one ever actally said anything, but I know what people were thinking.
I think it would be interesting to do some research on this topic (if I had time!).
------------------
SW 156
CW 125
Goal = MAINTAIN
5'5" Female, 27 yrs. old
Whirl
10-24-2003, 02:03 PM
I too have lunch with a friend, in fact last week, and she is extremely overweight - about 250 and about 5' 1 or 2". I look like a mini skinny next to her and we do get stares. The very minute we walk into any door of a restaurant there are always lots of stairs. The worst place is a greasy spoon she LOVES....and its like they are thinking, why is she here, this is why she is so large anyway and she keeps coming back for more.
Yes, it is unfortunate, that people do stare and they do judge you by the company you keep....even at lunchtime.
Donuts...we miss you on the challenges ... please come join us again!
Yes, it is unfortunate, that people do stare and they do judge you by the company you keep....even at lunchtime.
Donuts...we miss you on the challenges ... please come join us again!
DonutsNCoffee
10-24-2003, 02:15 PM
Little guy? Hey I'm 5'8" and 150 pounds. :)
I was about 140 when the incident above happened. I'd say my coworker was close to 200 (though I obviously never asked) and around 5'7". We probably came off as an odd pair. Maybe the restaurant host thought we were a couple. But you bring up a good point. Society expects you to be in the company of people who are similar to you. If there's too much of a contrast, it gets attention. It could be a contrast in weight, age, race, or attractiveness.
Dietprincess, I haven't been on the Thanksgiving challenge cause I have nothing to contribute. I'm not losing weight or inches and seem to be stuck in neutral. Between diet, cardio, and weight lifting, the only thing I seem to be doing with any consistency is weight lifting but my eating habits probably cancel out the benefits.
I was about 140 when the incident above happened. I'd say my coworker was close to 200 (though I obviously never asked) and around 5'7". We probably came off as an odd pair. Maybe the restaurant host thought we were a couple. But you bring up a good point. Society expects you to be in the company of people who are similar to you. If there's too much of a contrast, it gets attention. It could be a contrast in weight, age, race, or attractiveness.
Dietprincess, I haven't been on the Thanksgiving challenge cause I have nothing to contribute. I'm not losing weight or inches and seem to be stuck in neutral. Between diet, cardio, and weight lifting, the only thing I seem to be doing with any consistency is weight lifting but my eating habits probably cancel out the benefits.
jennielynn
10-24-2003, 02:18 PM
I think it's really sad how our society views overweight people! My step brother is a big guy (his heart is even 10x's bigger!) and we get looks also. I feel like staring back at all those scrawny people and saying: eat something, will ya!!!LOL It just something that we have to deal with; no matter how unfair it may seem. What we should be conveying to those onlookers is that we are true friends who love those around us for who they are--not what they look like! So, when you're out with an overweight friend---remeber those words and hold your head up high!!!
Jen
Jen
Froggie98
10-24-2003, 03:41 PM
Originally posted by DonutsNCoffee:
Little guy? Hey I'm 5'8" and 150 pounds. :)
Then you are just my type! :) :)
Little guy? Hey I'm 5'8" and 150 pounds. :)
Then you are just my type! :) :)
DonutsNCoffee
10-24-2003, 05:16 PM
Originally posted by Froggie98:
Then you are just my type! :) :)
Let me get down to 5% body fat and we can talk. :) :) I'm stuck at about 17% right now.
Then you are just my type! :) :)
Let me get down to 5% body fat and we can talk. :) :) I'm stuck at about 17% right now.
blondiebiker
10-24-2003, 09:53 PM
I think people look at people period. Everyone has a "big nose" so to speak. I think sometimes maybe they look at you because overweight, but could be hair color, too thin etc. I don't think there is necessarily any more stigma then if you are too thin, smoke, etc. We just notice looks and assume it has to do with our "big nose" or that which we are insecure about. I have a few big friends and they don't get any more looks I don't think. It just seems like it. There are people that love bigger people and some like smaller, there is niche's for all.
I will admit I am a famous look in someone's grocery cart to see what type of person they are (eating wise), but I don't see a bigger person with a cart full of ho'ho's and think....pig...I think hmmmm comfortable...in their own skin.
People just love to look for all sorts of reasons.
:)
I will admit I am a famous look in someone's grocery cart to see what type of person they are (eating wise), but I don't see a bigger person with a cart full of ho'ho's and think....pig...I think hmmmm comfortable...in their own skin.
People just love to look for all sorts of reasons.
:)
roni624
10-25-2003, 10:09 PM
Donuts....there are some of us on the challange that are gaining and some that are at a plateau. We still like talking to one another. And it is good to have a guy around. We all miss you.-Roni
Teaberry
10-26-2003, 12:44 AM
How can you tell the difference between someone who is just 'people watching' or someone who is 'staring and judging'?
Whenever I walk into a restuarant I always notice everyone stops what they're doing and look up to see who's walking through the door. I do the same thing. I think it might just be habit. Who knows what they are really thinking behind those looks. YES it makes me feel uncomfortable. But I do the same thing so I can't complain. Yes sometimes people look oddly paired, but hey I'm sure they are happy so who am I to judge?
Whenever I walk into a restuarant I always notice everyone stops what they're doing and look up to see who's walking through the door. I do the same thing. I think it might just be habit. Who knows what they are really thinking behind those looks. YES it makes me feel uncomfortable. But I do the same thing so I can't complain. Yes sometimes people look oddly paired, but hey I'm sure they are happy so who am I to judge?
Whirl
10-26-2003, 11:11 AM
Originally posted by roni624:
Donuts....there are some of us on the challange that are gaining and some that are at a plateau. We still like talking to one another. And it is good to have a guy around. We all miss you.-Roni
Donuts...ditto on that . . we miss having you on the challenge thread!
Donuts....there are some of us on the challange that are gaining and some that are at a plateau. We still like talking to one another. And it is good to have a guy around. We all miss you.-Roni
Donuts...ditto on that . . we miss having you on the challenge thread!
cuddledumplin
10-28-2003, 03:33 AM
I've experienced this first hand. I was heavy as a child, and even my babysitter and one of my teachers made fun of me (not to mention the kids). Needless to say, it really hurt. I still don't feel like a thin person even though everyone tells me that I am. People did treat me differently after I lost the weight; it is really sad and stupid to treat someone poorly just because of how he or she looks.
Froggie98
10-28-2003, 10:33 AM
Originally posted by Teaberry:
How can you tell the difference between someone who is just 'people watching' or someone who is 'staring and judging'?
Whenever I walk into a restuarant I always notice everyone stops what they're doing and look up to see who's walking through the door. I do the same thing. I think it might just be habit. Who knows what they are really thinking behind those looks. YES it makes me feel uncomfortable. But I do the same thing so I can't complain. Yes sometimes people look oddly paired, but hey I'm sure they are happy so who am I to judge?
That's a good point. Hadn't thought of it that way. I guess I do the same thing!
How can you tell the difference between someone who is just 'people watching' or someone who is 'staring and judging'?
Whenever I walk into a restuarant I always notice everyone stops what they're doing and look up to see who's walking through the door. I do the same thing. I think it might just be habit. Who knows what they are really thinking behind those looks. YES it makes me feel uncomfortable. But I do the same thing so I can't complain. Yes sometimes people look oddly paired, but hey I'm sure they are happy so who am I to judge?
That's a good point. Hadn't thought of it that way. I guess I do the same thing!
DonutsNCoffee
10-28-2003, 10:36 AM
Originally posted by cuddledumplin:
People did treat me differently after I lost the weight.
In a way, it's good that they treated you differently cause then you learn what kind of people they really are. That's one of the many reasons I want to lose weight and get in shape. I want to see who treats me differently and then I'll throw it in their face.
People did treat me differently after I lost the weight.
In a way, it's good that they treated you differently cause then you learn what kind of people they really are. That's one of the many reasons I want to lose weight and get in shape. I want to see who treats me differently and then I'll throw it in their face.
blondiebiker
10-31-2003, 12:51 AM
I too was chunky as a kid, and teased, but I remember others being teased for glasses, or hair, or scrawny etc. kids are awful to each other.
adults can be too, but not because of weight necessarily, they could pick a 100 different reasons to treat you one way or another.
Yeah there are those that are more attracted to "fit" people so you might be treated differently by those that are now "interested", but it still boils down to who you are and what skin you are comfortable in.
throwing anything in anyones face accomplishes nothing.
You should only improve yourself for yourself, otherwise you become no better then the ones that were unkind.
people suck that is all there is too it, but they can also be wonderful and that happens regardless.
Sometimes weight is just a coating to other issues we must face within ourselves, used as an excuse for this or that...other things also can be used as excuse...
inner peace, happiness, finding yourself...will make you glow and be inviting to others..regardless.
the weight itself doesn't instantly make life happy.
truley.
adults can be too, but not because of weight necessarily, they could pick a 100 different reasons to treat you one way or another.
Yeah there are those that are more attracted to "fit" people so you might be treated differently by those that are now "interested", but it still boils down to who you are and what skin you are comfortable in.
throwing anything in anyones face accomplishes nothing.
You should only improve yourself for yourself, otherwise you become no better then the ones that were unkind.
people suck that is all there is too it, but they can also be wonderful and that happens regardless.
Sometimes weight is just a coating to other issues we must face within ourselves, used as an excuse for this or that...other things also can be used as excuse...
inner peace, happiness, finding yourself...will make you glow and be inviting to others..regardless.
the weight itself doesn't instantly make life happy.
truley.