lonelyiz
02-01-2003, 05:50 PM
i have pulled my eyelashes (only the top ones) out since i was 9. my mom knows but just says i need to have enough willpower to stop. i hate my life, and i have no close friends as im afraid theyll find out about my eyes, so im not social at all. im bad in school but that's beside the point--my mom wont let me see a therapist and i cant stop pulling them out! what can i do?!?!?!
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Jooner18
02-01-2003, 06:36 PM
I think there might be a little more of a problem here than pulling out your eyelashes...How old are you? I've done the same thing, but it hasn't stopped me from chillin with people. If you really want to find out if there's something wrong, maybe it would be a good idea to go against your mother and at least talk to a school counselor or something. You're mother just might be looking for some more proof than what you can give her.
Jops
02-02-2003, 05:45 AM
I pull my eyelashes out also, not all the time but sometimes. I dont really look that much into it, I think I do it to take my mind off other things.
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Every blade of grass has a little angel that hovers over it saying "Grow, grow"....
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Every blade of grass has a little angel that hovers over it saying "Grow, grow"....
lonelyiz
02-02-2003, 10:17 AM
well i tried the school counselor bu the parents have to mkae an appointment for the child...the thing is i really really want to stop pulling them out...is there anything at all i ca do without haveing to see someone? (im 13)
Jooner18
02-02-2003, 01:00 PM
Okay listen. If you have as much of a problem as you say you do (and I have read your other topic posts), I guarantee you can get to a counselor. And I'll tell you the same thing that they'll probably tell you. You can set anything you put your mind to. When I was your age, I got sent to th school psychiatrist for having a bad day(I'm 22 now). If you want to talk to one that bad, you can. If you really think you need to. I think the fact that you say you have no friends goes a lot further than pulling eyelashes...
Merrida
02-02-2003, 03:09 PM
I agree. I've read your other posts too. It sounds like you have more going on the eyelash pulling, and it's a mixture of needing and wanting attention, and quite likely some form of depression. You also seem to be hunkered down into a deep well of self pity. Playing the victim may get you attention but it will not get you well and it will not empower you.
I'm not saying these words to sound harsh as much as I am saying it from a place of: "Been there, done that."
You are probably covered under your parents insurance (if they have medical insurance) and psychiatric care is covered, -- think in terms of counseling therapy sessions and perhaps medication if your doctor sees fit.
You can also try to seek help on your own, there are clinics available, you can ask your friends or their parents if they know of any, and check womens shelters and womens care clinics.
You can also pay out of pocket and go on your own.
Why do you think your parents would not want you to be well and happy and healthy?
Do you have a school counselor (most schools do)? Speak to her/him and see if you can set up routine appointments and perhaps they can talk to your parents for you.
You also have choices you can make, but you have to be willing to look for them instead of looking for ways to give away control over your own life.
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Life isn't what happens to you -- it's how you react to it!
Thoughts don't make us who we are -- Actions do.
I'm not saying these words to sound harsh as much as I am saying it from a place of: "Been there, done that."
You are probably covered under your parents insurance (if they have medical insurance) and psychiatric care is covered, -- think in terms of counseling therapy sessions and perhaps medication if your doctor sees fit.
You can also try to seek help on your own, there are clinics available, you can ask your friends or their parents if they know of any, and check womens shelters and womens care clinics.
You can also pay out of pocket and go on your own.
Why do you think your parents would not want you to be well and happy and healthy?
Do you have a school counselor (most schools do)? Speak to her/him and see if you can set up routine appointments and perhaps they can talk to your parents for you.
You also have choices you can make, but you have to be willing to look for them instead of looking for ways to give away control over your own life.
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Life isn't what happens to you -- it's how you react to it!
Thoughts don't make us who we are -- Actions do.
zuzu8
02-02-2003, 09:11 PM
Hi- It sounds like you have the classic symptoms of something called Trichotillomania (a fancy word for hairpulling). It is a form of what they call OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. This is a real problem that affects many many people, and it usually begins around puberty or even earlier.
Go to the "Obsessions&OCD Message Board and take a look at the post Trichotillomania (hairpulling) by nightowl2, posted 1/28/02. LOTS of people have this. Some pull their eyelashes, some pull their scalp hair, some pull their pubic hair. Mostly woman for some odd reason, but men too.
Simple willpower is often not the answer to stopping. There have been many studies about this. And there IS help. Certain drugs are incredibly beneficial . The medical community believes that this is not simply a "neurosis' but a chemical imbalance in the brain. Some kind of stressful event early in your life might have "triggered" the pulling, but this is what you should do:.
Read the posts I mentioned before. Call the OCD Foundation (they have branches all over the country,) ask them to send you some literature (it's free) and SHOW IT TO YOUR MOM.I think that once she reads about this, she'll understand it all much more and realize that a good therapist who specializes in OCD and Behavioral problems can be a godsend for you. You CAN get help with this, I promise there's an answer for you. Accompanying the pulling for all OCD "pullers" is a tremendous sense of shame because they think they are "crazy"or should be able to stop by themselves. You are not "crazy" and you can't just "will" yourself to stop. That's where the word "compulsive" comes in. And I understand your not feeling social. It's hard to know which came first, the chicken or the egg. Perhaps a combination of both. I know someone who started pulling her scalp hair out at 12. This was way back in the 1950's when no one even TALKED about this let alone had help for it. Today there is help. Again get some brochures from the OCD Foundation. If you have any trouble, post again and let me know what's happening.
[This message has been edited by zuzu8 (edited 02-02-2003).]
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. This is a real problem that affects many many people, and it usually begins around puberty or even earlier.
Go to the "Obsessions&OCD Message Board and take a look at the post Trichotillomania (hairpulling) by nightowl2, posted 1/28/02. LOTS of people have this. Some pull their eyelashes, some pull their scalp hair, some pull their pubic hair. Mostly woman for some odd reason, but men too.
Simple willpower is often not the answer to stopping. There have been many studies about this. And there IS help. Certain drugs are incredibly beneficial . The medical community believes that this is not simply a "neurosis' but a chemical imbalance in the brain. Some kind of stressful event early in your life might have "triggered" the pulling, but this is what you should do:.
Read the posts I mentioned before. Call the OCD Foundation (they have branches all over the country,) ask them to send you some literature (it's free) and SHOW IT TO YOUR MOM.I think that once she reads about this, she'll understand it all much more and realize that a good therapist who specializes in OCD and Behavioral problems can be a godsend for you. You CAN get help with this, I promise there's an answer for you. Accompanying the pulling for all OCD "pullers" is a tremendous sense of shame because they think they are "crazy"or should be able to stop by themselves. You are not "crazy" and you can't just "will" yourself to stop. That's where the word "compulsive" comes in. And I understand your not feeling social. It's hard to know which came first, the chicken or the egg. Perhaps a combination of both. I know someone who started pulling her scalp hair out at 12. This was way back in the 1950's when no one even TALKED about this let alone had help for it. Today there is help. Again get some brochures from the OCD Foundation. If you have any trouble, post again and let me know what's happening.
[This message has been edited by zuzu8 (edited 02-02-2003).]
Fran0609
02-05-2003, 03:40 PM
I agree with what zuzu8 said. I just found out today that there is actually a name for this (trichotillomania)while I was browsing thru the OCD section. I never knew!! I just thought it was a *bad habit* and I actually thought I was the only one who did this. Go to the other thread about it...and you'll see that there are lots of us who do just the same. I just posted in there as well today. Now that I know it's a type of "disorder", I will be doing research on it. Take care!
[This message has been edited by Fran0609 (edited 02-05-2003).]
[This message has been edited by Fran0609 (edited 02-05-2003).]
purple2067
02-05-2003, 03:59 PM
Some parents feel that if their child needs to see a psychiatrist or counsellor that it is a reflection on them and that they are bad parents. But you have to find some way to convince them that you really need and want this. Would it be possible to show them some of the posts on this board about others who have this disease? Don't even mention it though if you think that they will make you stop posting. But my guess is that if you tell them how much this is really bothering you (do they know?) that they will eventually have no choice but to let you see a counsellor. They might also be afraid that you are going to go there and talk about your home life and your family, but you have to tell them that is not the reason why you are going. Good luck,
Elyse
P.S. I know this is not something you can control right now, but please be careful around your eyes! You don't want to wind up injuring yourself.
Elyse
P.S. I know this is not something you can control right now, but please be careful around your eyes! You don't want to wind up injuring yourself.
lonelyiz
02-06-2003, 03:45 PM
but see i need some kind of treatment or something that i can do at home...i made another board this one about injections...read it...becuz of it i hate docs....silly i know but cant help it so i dont wanna see a doc! AH!
Merrida
02-06-2003, 04:17 PM
Zuzu, if eyelash pulling were her "only" problem, that might be more applicable. I really don't know enough about it, to be honest, but based on her other posts, she's got more than this issue going on.
purple2067
02-06-2003, 07:50 PM
I don't think you need to see a doctor right now... You can start going for counselling with a Psychologist or CSW (certified social worker) and see how that goes.... if at some later point you and the therapist both feel that you need to see a doctor, then you can talk about that and figure out ways to deal with your anxiety. As long as there is nothing physically wrong with your eyes aside from the lack of eyelashes, there is no need to see an eye doctor right now (although it would be a good idea to get checked out sometime) and if you want to see a psychiatrist, well....they are not going to give you an injection. All you would do is sit and talk with them and they would either prescribe medication or not prescribe medication. But I think that the first step is for you to tell your parents how strongly you feel about this, and get to a counsellor.
Good luck,
Elyse
Good luck,
Elyse
zuzu8
02-08-2003, 05:53 PM
Merrida- I agree with you!. I'm not saying the pulling is the only issue going on.Most often people with compulsive hair-pulling are anxious and/or depressed. And many have suffered stressful or even catastophic events in their lives. As I said, sometimes a stressful event triggers the onset of this behaviour and then it takes on a life of its own, long after the "event" has passed. If the stress is ongoing, for whatever reason, often the pulling is a way to "calm" themselves. People often report a release of tension when they do it. But the feeling of "satisfaction" is often so brief, they feel compelled to pull another hair, then another, an another...
This is an" impulse control" issue, and it would be great if she could call the OCD Foundation and get their literature to show her mother so she could sit with a good therapist and at least TALK.. , don't you think?
This is an" impulse control" issue, and it would be great if she could call the OCD Foundation and get their literature to show her mother so she could sit with a good therapist and at least TALK.. , don't you think?
laci
02-08-2003, 06:04 PM
I think it's a form of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). And maybe even depression.
You should see a pscyiatrist about it. She can put you on medication. And you can see a psychologist for counseling.
You should see a pscyiatrist about it. She can put you on medication. And you can see a psychologist for counseling.
friend
02-08-2003, 09:44 PM
There has never been a test to prove that a chemical imbalance in the brain exists. It is merely a theory, now touted as fact, when it is not.
A drug MAY have the effect that it will help calm you so that you can then work on your inner issues, but the drugs do not cure problems.
And they are addicitve and are destructive to the liver and other vital organs. Before you take a drug look it up here: www.rxlist.com, (http://www.rxlist.com,) and see if you really do want to risk the side effects. Of course, the decision is up to you.
A drug can be helpful for short term duration, but you do have to deal with the reasons you are so anxious to begin with, in order to truly get well. And just because an activity has a label, it does not mean you can not get over it. All psychiatric labels describe normal emotions and possible self-destructive behaviors. People change their minds, emotions, and their behaviors every day. It may take work, but you can, too!
There are reasons you do what you do. Discover your reasons, give yourself understanding, turn the anger toward the one that harmed you rather than yourself, and you can eventually get well.
A drug MAY have the effect that it will help calm you so that you can then work on your inner issues, but the drugs do not cure problems.
And they are addicitve and are destructive to the liver and other vital organs. Before you take a drug look it up here: www.rxlist.com, (http://www.rxlist.com,) and see if you really do want to risk the side effects. Of course, the decision is up to you.
A drug can be helpful for short term duration, but you do have to deal with the reasons you are so anxious to begin with, in order to truly get well. And just because an activity has a label, it does not mean you can not get over it. All psychiatric labels describe normal emotions and possible self-destructive behaviors. People change their minds, emotions, and their behaviors every day. It may take work, but you can, too!
There are reasons you do what you do. Discover your reasons, give yourself understanding, turn the anger toward the one that harmed you rather than yourself, and you can eventually get well.
purple2067
02-08-2003, 10:20 PM
Originally posted by friend:
A drug MAY have the effect that it will help calm you so that you can then work on your inner issues, but the drugs do not cure problems.
I totally agree with this. An anti-depressant will not cure your problem. However, when used properly it can help you deal with the immediate feelings of anxiety and/or depression, so that once you begin to feel a little bit better you will be more able to discuss the underlying issues. When I went through my depression, I was crying all the time and having panic attacks. So the doctor put me on an anti-depressant, which then made it possible for me to stop crying and panicking and I was able to deal with the real underlying problem that was causing the destructive behavior in the first place.
The most proven treatment for depression and anxiety is a combination of anti-depressants and therapy. The anti-depressants enable you to be able to talk about the problem and make changes in your life.
When you are crying and panicking, or in your case pulling out your eyelashes, you may want to make changes in your life but it is extremely difficult and most of the time you cannot concentrate on the anxiety/depression or OCD because you are too busy worrying about the symptom (the eyelash pulling). Basically what the drugs to is help to alleviate the symptoms so that you can concentrate on the underlying issues. Sorry if I went on a little bit.
Good luck,
Elyse
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
[This message has been edited by purple2067 (edited 02-08-2003).]
A drug MAY have the effect that it will help calm you so that you can then work on your inner issues, but the drugs do not cure problems.
I totally agree with this. An anti-depressant will not cure your problem. However, when used properly it can help you deal with the immediate feelings of anxiety and/or depression, so that once you begin to feel a little bit better you will be more able to discuss the underlying issues. When I went through my depression, I was crying all the time and having panic attacks. So the doctor put me on an anti-depressant, which then made it possible for me to stop crying and panicking and I was able to deal with the real underlying problem that was causing the destructive behavior in the first place.
The most proven treatment for depression and anxiety is a combination of anti-depressants and therapy. The anti-depressants enable you to be able to talk about the problem and make changes in your life.
When you are crying and panicking, or in your case pulling out your eyelashes, you may want to make changes in your life but it is extremely difficult and most of the time you cannot concentrate on the anxiety/depression or OCD because you are too busy worrying about the symptom (the eyelash pulling). Basically what the drugs to is help to alleviate the symptoms so that you can concentrate on the underlying issues. Sorry if I went on a little bit.
Good luck,
Elyse
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
[This message has been edited by purple2067 (edited 02-08-2003).]
ilovesunshine
02-10-2003, 12:19 PM
When my aunt and uncle got a divorce my cousin was doing that to herself.
4given1
02-10-2003, 06:24 PM
Just a thought...
How about print out these responses and show them to your mother? Even adults need to be educated sometimes!
How about print out these responses and show them to your mother? Even adults need to be educated sometimes!
purple2067
02-10-2003, 11:21 PM
You know GloomyDaisy, that is probably what I would do if I were in this situation. But then again, it is easier said than done. But you are so right. A lot of times adults are not as smart as they think, and they need some educating themselves. I once had a friend who needed help in school and asked her parents for a math tutor, and they told her "no, you are too smart for that, you don't need it". I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that parents don't want to believe that their children could have any kind of problem that cannot be solved within the home.