lonelyiz
02-02-2003, 10:23 AM
i hate myslef. everything about me is wrong. my parents practically help me to think this as my grades are never good enough. i study my heart out but now ive stoppe because i fail anyways and i see no point. i want to live, im not a suicidal teen, but i hate my life and the country im in. i hate everything about my life, have for 4 years, and no matter what i do cant think postivily. please please help--im desperate.
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nicola76
02-02-2003, 12:28 PM
You sound really depressed. Have you thought about seeing a doctor to get some counselling?
Try posting on the Depression board. I'm sure you'll find a lot of help, support and info there.
Take care!
Nic :wave:
Try posting on the Depression board. I'm sure you'll find a lot of help, support and info there.
Take care!
Nic :wave:
Tara Carlow
02-13-2003, 12:04 AM
I hope you feel better today. I spent most of my life hating myself. Now that I am older, I feel better and don't give as much of a hoot. I also take an anti-depressant called Zoloft that has helped me a lot. I have a son who is 20 and he says he hates his life. I worry about him a lot. He stopped trying in school in the 8th grade and quit but I still love him. I hope your parents love you too no matter what.
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ilovesunshine
02-13-2003, 05:56 PM
I have also spent most of my life hating myself too, but mostly about my life and my appearance. There was a point when things were going so horribly for me. I was being abused by relatives and was stuck in a low paying job, but things have gotten better for me and people here on these boards encouraged me to feel better about myself.
Maybe if you talk to someone like a counselor it may help.
Maybe if you talk to someone like a counselor it may help.
wendybird
02-16-2003, 09:53 PM
First, you should know that what you are feeling is unfortunately normal. I know that horrible feeling you are talking about. The feeling that scrapes away at any bit of happiness you feel you might have left in your soul. Second, you should know that there IS help out there. Don't be ashamed to get it. You SAY you are not SUICIDAL, but remember that most suicides are unexpected and if you are depressed, then you're mind is not functioning at full throttle. You must realize how important you are. Even though you hate yourself, know this, Jesus loves you. There's a reason why you posted...you needed help. I pray you find peace and learn to love your self. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16...........Lonelyiz, He'll fill you with happy eyes......
Anabasis
02-18-2003, 10:27 PM
Wendybird,
thanks for ministering to Lonelyliz.
thanks for ministering to Lonelyliz.
mushroom1
02-19-2003, 05:47 PM
lonelyiz, I am sorry that you are feeling badly. Just remember that you only lose if you give up. Keep trying and things will probably get better eventually.
Try to find things that give you happiness...watch a favorite show, read a good book, talk to a friend etc.
Remember growing up is very difficult and if you are not good in school, that is not your fault.
Try to get what you can out of life...even though you can't have it all.
Try to find things that give you happiness...watch a favorite show, read a good book, talk to a friend etc.
Remember growing up is very difficult and if you are not good in school, that is not your fault.
Try to get what you can out of life...even though you can't have it all.
mothmin
02-21-2003, 02:42 AM
sorry to hear it liz. I was totally depressed as a teenager, and found out what was causing my chemical imbalnce...fine now, although I'm kind of synical. I'm not sure what you mean about your grades, if you mean you have a hard time learning? or your folks just want you to get better grades, but I found out in college that, i had been a victim of a life long of poor teaching, and that it wasn't my fault good luk!
Autumn Angel
02-21-2003, 06:09 PM
Lonelyiz..I am not depressed and I dont hate my life..I am a parent of 3 lovely daughters 21,18 and 12. My 18 year old sees a counselor for depression and anxiety. She was in an abusive relationship with an idiot that constantly put her down, pushed her around, told her she was fat, ugly and stupid. I mean everyday for 2 years. She hid this from myself and her older sister of course because we wouldnt have let it go on. My daughter is beautiful, not overweight, and definatly not stupid. I always praised my girls for everything they did in school and sports activities. I taught them that inside thier hearts is where beauty counts. I taught them that its ok to get C's in school as long as they felt they were doing thier best and I made sure they know that I will always love them for who they are not for what they can accomplish. I know you are probably wondering where I am going with this well this is my point. Ashley my 18 year old full of love and self condidence but not selfish or arrogant. Good in school always did her best but wasnt an A student. Smiled all the time and was always kind and outgoing with other people.
Now she is unsure of herself and questions her intellegence. Constantly weighing herself thinking she is fat. Short tempered and mean with her little sister and myself at times. Crying at the drop of a hat. Mentions she is ugly and wishes she was rich so she could have plastic surgery. Questions my love for her....The wonderful girl I raised to be healthy and happy disapeared with the wave of an evil ignorant idiot boyfriend that bullied and controlled her into thinking she isnt worth being loved. I do not mean to disrespect your parents in anyway but how you feel about yourself and your unhappiness IS NOT your fault!!! It is thiers!! If you constantly hear critisisum you are going to end up being your own worst critic. If all you hear is negative things about yourself thats all your going to feel about yourself...If you constantly hear that you are ugly...ugliness is what you are going to see when you look in the mirror. Unfortunatly we thrive on acceptance from others ESPECIALLY our familes, our parents and our friends. The first thing I would advise you to do is find a good therapist or counselor! Second talk to an adult you can trust..an aunt or uncle, grandparent, teacher, guidence counselor and talk to them about your feelings and how it makes you feel when your parents talk to you like you are stupid and never give you credit where it is due. Everything you need to talk about try and talk to this person and then maybe this person will talk to you parents and make them see the damage they are doing to how you feel about yourself and your life. They (your parents) are supposed to be adults and realize they are supposed to treat you with the same love and respect they expect from you. They are supposed to be loving and kind and encouraging and be proud of you for anything you acomplish as long as you did the best you can do in your mind not thiers. I hope you will try some of what I have suggested and get your life back to being happy. I saw my daughter go from a happy child to an unhappy young woman all because of some controling idiot. We are doing our best to change that for her and make her happy. We all go to her counsiling sessions with her...we constantly tell her we love and encourage her..and she now has a wonderful boyfriend for the last year that is always there for her and is never mean. Life can change for the better but the first step to change it has to be YOURS. Please keep us posted on how you are doing and if you ever want to talk just leave a post I am sure you will get alot of replies. Take care of yourself.
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Cheers...Autumn
Female...42
TMJD...12 years
Anxiety/Panic Attacks (cured I hope)
Total Abdominal Hysterectomy Ovaries left intact due to endometrial bleeding after miscarriage (2002)
Hernia Repair(1998)
Apendectomy (infected) 1988
Just Dx with multiple ovarian cysts..having C-125 test done for possible malignancy.
21 year old daughter born with Mullerian Aplasia.
18 yr old daughter bulimia survivor.
Pain Management- Oxycontin 20mg twice a day..Percocet for bt. 2 mg Dilaudid at bedtime.
" Wishing all a pain free day"
Now she is unsure of herself and questions her intellegence. Constantly weighing herself thinking she is fat. Short tempered and mean with her little sister and myself at times. Crying at the drop of a hat. Mentions she is ugly and wishes she was rich so she could have plastic surgery. Questions my love for her....The wonderful girl I raised to be healthy and happy disapeared with the wave of an evil ignorant idiot boyfriend that bullied and controlled her into thinking she isnt worth being loved. I do not mean to disrespect your parents in anyway but how you feel about yourself and your unhappiness IS NOT your fault!!! It is thiers!! If you constantly hear critisisum you are going to end up being your own worst critic. If all you hear is negative things about yourself thats all your going to feel about yourself...If you constantly hear that you are ugly...ugliness is what you are going to see when you look in the mirror. Unfortunatly we thrive on acceptance from others ESPECIALLY our familes, our parents and our friends. The first thing I would advise you to do is find a good therapist or counselor! Second talk to an adult you can trust..an aunt or uncle, grandparent, teacher, guidence counselor and talk to them about your feelings and how it makes you feel when your parents talk to you like you are stupid and never give you credit where it is due. Everything you need to talk about try and talk to this person and then maybe this person will talk to you parents and make them see the damage they are doing to how you feel about yourself and your life. They (your parents) are supposed to be adults and realize they are supposed to treat you with the same love and respect they expect from you. They are supposed to be loving and kind and encouraging and be proud of you for anything you acomplish as long as you did the best you can do in your mind not thiers. I hope you will try some of what I have suggested and get your life back to being happy. I saw my daughter go from a happy child to an unhappy young woman all because of some controling idiot. We are doing our best to change that for her and make her happy. We all go to her counsiling sessions with her...we constantly tell her we love and encourage her..and she now has a wonderful boyfriend for the last year that is always there for her and is never mean. Life can change for the better but the first step to change it has to be YOURS. Please keep us posted on how you are doing and if you ever want to talk just leave a post I am sure you will get alot of replies. Take care of yourself.
------------------
Cheers...Autumn
Female...42
TMJD...12 years
Anxiety/Panic Attacks (cured I hope)
Total Abdominal Hysterectomy Ovaries left intact due to endometrial bleeding after miscarriage (2002)
Hernia Repair(1998)
Apendectomy (infected) 1988
Just Dx with multiple ovarian cysts..having C-125 test done for possible malignancy.
21 year old daughter born with Mullerian Aplasia.
18 yr old daughter bulimia survivor.
Pain Management- Oxycontin 20mg twice a day..Percocet for bt. 2 mg Dilaudid at bedtime.
" Wishing all a pain free day"
giggles4u
02-28-2003, 02:48 PM
Please try to seek professional help. I battled for over 6 years with my teenage daughter who felt the same way. From a mothers standpoint i felt helpless, worried all the time and didn't know where to turn much less understood why my daughter felt this way. I felt she had a loving home and support. My wake up call came when my daughter tried to commit suicide. We found her the help she needed. We put her in a rehab program for over six months where through therapy both individual and family she was able to learn with issues that she had. My daughter has been back home for 2 years. She is the daughter I used to have before it all started. She has become very confident about herself and has learned how to deal with situations that may come up. It is not easy for her a lot of times but her outlook on life and how to handle her downs had drastically improved. I know your a beautiful person inside and there are countless opportunities for you out there. However, unless you seek help and learn how special you are you will never see the rainbow at the other end. May God bless you. My prayers are with you.
blackwidow5tt
02-28-2003, 09:31 PM
you are not alone in feeling the way you do http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif in fact i feel that way most of the time. i live with an older sister who thinks that my life is useless and is constantly saying things to bring me down. i met this guy who has been telling me that i am special and i am one of the best person he has ever met. instead of my sister be happy for me she says that i always pick up worthless guys and do stupid things and she has never met him. :(
disabledsue
03-04-2003, 02:38 AM
Lonelyliz, I grew up with three younger brothers. I felt all my life that they could do no wrong. My parents nagged me constantly about needing to lose weight from the time I was ten years old until I was in my twenties. I never could do anything right to please my father and that lasted up even after I was married, I always felt that I would never get married, but I did, but not until I was 30. Everyone that knew me would tell me, if you don't lose some weight you won't ever get married. Well, I did and my husband worked his but off trying to build me up to have self confidence. It did not work very well since I had felt worthless for so long. I finally after I turned 42 years old went for counseling and got some help. I wish I had gone sooner. Don't wait. Get the counseling now. It will really help you.
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Let's get better.
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Let's get better.
JayLynn
03-18-2003, 05:55 PM
Hey, you can't go through life hating yourself! That's no way to Live. Underneath all of your pain is beauty. Find it, look inside of youself, find yourself and you will Love what you find...just try
fate13
03-20-2003, 11:03 PM
I use to hate myself too. It got to the point where I hated myself so much, I felt like I had to punish myself for living. I would cut myself and cry. That was a daily routine. I went to counseling and took medicine. Didn't help at all. I had to find something to love so I could care about that. It's probably wrong, but it doesn't matter to me as long as I am happy. But, the problem with that is if I would ever loose that love, I would be back to my same old self. :( I have anxiety problems and that cause panic attacks occationally. It's only been a month or so since I cut myself. I wished I had never started, it's no way to live. These scars won't go away. I'm just saying pick your own path, but don't be stupid about it, like me. To hate yourself is no way to live. You'll make it through, believe me because I know things will always get better.
ChangesRGood
03-26-2003, 09:24 PM
Hello lady,
Seriously, why would you be so tough on yourself? The world out there is harsh enough believe me darling, you don't need to do that to yourself too.
The way you learn to love yourself is to forget what everyone else thinks of you first(including your closest friends and family), and just believe in yourself and in what you can achieve. Find out first what you want in life, not what they want for you. It is important to do things for you, not everyone else...in other words, just follow your heart. Whenever there is a negative thought or self-doubt write it down once in precise details. Then write down what you would like to see happen instead, being as specific and positive as possible and in lots of places. Actively work to prove yourself wrong by working towards what you would like to see happen. Believe me, you'll want to do this over and over again, cause it feels so damn good. It's a process that you will have to actively follow though, it's not gonna just happen to you.
Just give yourself a chance sweety, no one is perfect, not even the people who try to bring you down. I know because they do it to me also. Just be strong and think positively and have faith in yourself. Don't wait for them to approve of you, they most likely won't since they haven't seen what they are doing to you at this point. Keep a good head on, be strong and don't hate on you too...or they'll win.
Good luck.
ALICIA
Seriously, why would you be so tough on yourself? The world out there is harsh enough believe me darling, you don't need to do that to yourself too.
The way you learn to love yourself is to forget what everyone else thinks of you first(including your closest friends and family), and just believe in yourself and in what you can achieve. Find out first what you want in life, not what they want for you. It is important to do things for you, not everyone else...in other words, just follow your heart. Whenever there is a negative thought or self-doubt write it down once in precise details. Then write down what you would like to see happen instead, being as specific and positive as possible and in lots of places. Actively work to prove yourself wrong by working towards what you would like to see happen. Believe me, you'll want to do this over and over again, cause it feels so damn good. It's a process that you will have to actively follow though, it's not gonna just happen to you.
Just give yourself a chance sweety, no one is perfect, not even the people who try to bring you down. I know because they do it to me also. Just be strong and think positively and have faith in yourself. Don't wait for them to approve of you, they most likely won't since they haven't seen what they are doing to you at this point. Keep a good head on, be strong and don't hate on you too...or they'll win.
Good luck.
ALICIA
Jooner18
03-26-2003, 09:52 PM
Lonelyiz...
Are you still out there? I don't know about everybody else, but I'm kinda hoping you're still writing posts somewhere. Let us know what's up?
Are you still out there? I don't know about everybody else, but I'm kinda hoping you're still writing posts somewhere. Let us know what's up?
SantaBarbaraGal
03-29-2003, 04:12 AM
Hi there-
I hope you are feeling better these days. Please don't think that life is one long jolly adventure for everyone but yourself, it isn't. I am learning that life is a struggle for just about everyone and really the only way to feel peace and hope through it all is to ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life.
Even as a Christian I still have my ups and downs and can cry a river sometimes but knowing God is right there with me makes it not so lonely an experience.
So please seek God and He will lead the way and it will so amaze you.
And the Love He has for you will be so real.
God Bless!!!!1
I hope you are feeling better these days. Please don't think that life is one long jolly adventure for everyone but yourself, it isn't. I am learning that life is a struggle for just about everyone and really the only way to feel peace and hope through it all is to ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life.
Even as a Christian I still have my ups and downs and can cry a river sometimes but knowing God is right there with me makes it not so lonely an experience.
So please seek God and He will lead the way and it will so amaze you.
And the Love He has for you will be so real.
God Bless!!!!1
wowosmama
03-29-2003, 03:27 PM
Hi Lonelyiz!
I can relate to the whole "get good grades in school" thing. My parents expected me to do this when I was a teenager and would take nothing less. It was expected. I did not get congratulated when i did well. It was all about them. I ended up failing on purpose and eventually they got the point and backed off.
To get out of this "I hate myself" mode, is the hardest thing in the world. The only way to overcome it, though is to thrive in spite of this feeling. Thrive in spite of your parents, in spite of school, in spite of what others- and yourself-think of yourself. Think of yourself as a little plant that grew up in the barren part of the garden- not enough water, not enough sunlight. Now stop looking at your yellow leaves, forget about the barren spot and make a commitment to thrive anyway, in spite of where you were planted. It's really the only way to move on and find your own strength, because in the end that's all you've got. You have yourself, and that's it. You may not like yourself; but only you can change that. So long as you're alive, you have the power to change anything you want about yourself- that's what makes being alive worth it really. Sit down, write a list of things/ qualities you do like in a person- then become that person. The possibilities are endless and you might actually have fun in the process- imagine that! Now get out there and do something about it because you're the only one who can! Good luck to you! I did it; so can you!
I can relate to the whole "get good grades in school" thing. My parents expected me to do this when I was a teenager and would take nothing less. It was expected. I did not get congratulated when i did well. It was all about them. I ended up failing on purpose and eventually they got the point and backed off.
To get out of this "I hate myself" mode, is the hardest thing in the world. The only way to overcome it, though is to thrive in spite of this feeling. Thrive in spite of your parents, in spite of school, in spite of what others- and yourself-think of yourself. Think of yourself as a little plant that grew up in the barren part of the garden- not enough water, not enough sunlight. Now stop looking at your yellow leaves, forget about the barren spot and make a commitment to thrive anyway, in spite of where you were planted. It's really the only way to move on and find your own strength, because in the end that's all you've got. You have yourself, and that's it. You may not like yourself; but only you can change that. So long as you're alive, you have the power to change anything you want about yourself- that's what makes being alive worth it really. Sit down, write a list of things/ qualities you do like in a person- then become that person. The possibilities are endless and you might actually have fun in the process- imagine that! Now get out there and do something about it because you're the only one who can! Good luck to you! I did it; so can you!