I am 48, almost 49. A year ago, I hit full menopause. I find that since that time my self confidence has gone down the outhouse hole. I ask myself why? The only thing that's changed is ... well, the obvious. Um, that and gravity having started to wreak havoc on certain body parts.

I'm still me, still don't look my age (ha, or so I'm told), but suddenly I'm feeling like a non-being. I'm actually embarassed to be in public and my social life has taken a nose-dive due to my lack of confidence or, I suppose one might say, my self esteem. Has anyone experienced this? And has anyone found a way to crawl out of it?

TIA

Nakomis, Just to let you know, you are not alone. I could have written your post word for word. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel exactly the same way with the same set of circumstances. I, too, do not look my age at all. I thought that I was the only person feeling this way. I wish I had more answers for you, but I feel better knowing that I am not the only one going through this. I hope you do, too. I hope you reply.

Glad I was *able* to reply ... it took 10 minutes to open this page!

I don't know why, but it does help to know one isn't alone. Misery loves company?

I guess as with any transition in life, issues of confidence are bound to arise. Puberty was h***; the changes in my body after my first child was born were a nasty shock; those first little signs (somewhere around age 42) of time marching on took some dealing with, but this is by far the hardest. It's not a case of thinking 'my life is at least half over'; it's 'what am I doing to DO with this phase/these years? What purpose do I serve besides as some genderless friend or extra adult in my grandchildrens' lives?' (Not to say I don't adore my grandchildren, but they don't define me.) I feel neither fish nor fowl ... not young, not old. Caught in between. (Erm, did that make sense?)

And I wonder if it's different for single women than it is for those with partners.

Question being, what does one do about it? Can't hang around feeling like this for the next 'x' number of years. It's too much of a non-life, if that makes sense?