My best friend is turning 29 in August. She has a big problem, because she is almost 30 and still no man. Any suggestions? I want to be supportive and optimistic, help please.
Thanks.

I have a friend that was 32 with the same problem and then all of the sudden she met the man of her dreams. They ended up getting married. Good things come to those that wait.

Thanks JustPeachy, your input meant a lot.

what are some of the problems she is experiencing? if you list them then you can get more specific input from ppl who have had similar experiences

Her problem inher words, "I can't find a man, and I'm old!" She has had previous relationships, but they all wanted something that she won't give until she is married. I don't know what to say to her sometimes, when she gets depressed, so that's why I posted what I did. I will take any suggestions on how I can reassure her (besides telling her she is not old).

There are a lot of people waiting till they are in their 30's and 40's to settle down. My daughter is 28 and single. Seems like when you least expect it, is when you will meet that special someone. Tell her not to dwell on it and go on with her life...it will happen! Good luck to your friend. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Has she ever tried internet-dating or phone date-lines? My girlfriend met her husband that way. I tried the date-line thing and went out on a couple dates, but they didn't work out. It was fun, though! My boyfriend and I were fixed up by mutual friends and we've been together for over 2 years now. Does anyone around her know of any nice, eligible men who would be interested in meeting her? The thing is, a man is not going to come knocking at her door. Sometime it takes a village to help you find a good man! lol!

Susiejb, thanks for your post! She hasn't tried the online thing....yet. Her family and friends have tried hooking her up with, "Nice" guys. Boy how that did not work. I'm sure if she is meant to find someone, she will. I keep telling her, "God's Will." She isn't just sitting around waiting, she's been searching. Anywho, thanks for your post, any words of help are deeply appreciated.
Upshutter

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~I am but one small instrument~

OK, here's my 2 cents worth. Look for a quiet man, a shy type of guy. They usually don't date to have sex and are kind hearted, and usually pretty darn smart. I just think she's going after the wrong types of men. All she needs to do is change the types she dates give other types a chance. Does your friend have friends who have brothers around her age? It's just a thought.

3tbear, you are so right. She has been looking for the wrong ones. All she has dated are jerks. I have a brother her age, but he's married. That was a pretty good/cool post! Your two cents are worth more than itself. Thanks for your post!
Upshutter

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~I am but one small instrument~

I was 35 before I finally met the Right Guy. We've been married 14 yrs now!
We met under a strange set of circumstances, and that's why I agree with the person who said that sometimes it just happens when it was meant to happen.
We were both forever single, no ex's, no kids, and we knew the first night we met that this was "it".

29? I had six more years of dating before I finally met the right one. Tell her not to give up so soon! It was when I quit trying that it all finally just fell into place.

Thanks HoosierBj. Wow, did you ever feel like just giving up on love?

She's 28, she'll be 29 in one week. I think she has given up on worrying about it all.

Thanks for your posts, everyone.
Upshutter

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~I am but one small instrument~
~Smile, you live longer~
Paradigm shift to proactivity saves lives.
A smile will save this world, some of us just don't know that yet.

[This message has been edited by upshutter17 (edited 08-24-2003).]

My daughter dated lots of really good looking men. Always the same type. Then one day at the gym she started talking to a guy that was just average - a regular guy. He was nice looking but no where near as good looking as the guys she was dating. At any rate she knew the moment she met him that he was "the one". She didn't meet him until she was 29. She felt the same way - that she would never meet anyone. As a matter of fact she didn't want to get married at that time because she was fed up and wouldn't even say the "M" word. It just took the right guy at the right time and she was walking down the aisle.

Hang in there - it will happen for you - but be open to all types of men - forget about looks - get to know the person. Some times the frog is really the prince.

Wow Maxsam! That's pretty encouraging. In fact, it's very encouraging. I've told her that same thing..well not word for word, but that sometimes the real good looking ones sometimes aren't always the best. I know she wants someone who is going to treat her well, and I do too...we are like sisters. I think she felt like she was the only one in the universe at 29 who isn't married or in a relationship. Well, she's wrong..lol. Thanks, this helps me to be a more understanding and helpful "little sister" to her. Thank you!
Upshutter

------------------
~I am but one small instrument~
~Smile, you live longer~
Paradigm shift to proactivity saves lives.
A smile will save this world, some of us just don't know that yet.

Hi,

I hope your friend has lots of things in her life to enjoy by herself and with her friends. It's important she be happy with herself because that will make her life wonderful, no matter what.

One of my favorite quotes is;
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!!"

Wish her a happy birthday for me!! Barbara

Awwwwwww! Thanks BarbaraH. She has a very busy life. She works all day, then she helps her father's business. She hardly has any time. I actually talked to her today, and we talked about the whole man thing. She has just like decided to live her life not depending on having, or not having a man. She's trying not to stress out about it so much anymore.

Thanks for your post, it was really cheerful. I'll send her your wish http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Thanks!
Upshutter

------------------
~I am but one small instrument~
~Smile, you live longer~
Paradigm shift to proactivity saves lives.
A smile will save this world, some of us just don't know that yet.

Yep, I sure did finally give up on love. Not in a bitter way, just realized that I was fine just the way I was and didn't worry so much about whether I'd ever "have" anybody.
Got a cat so that I'd have something to say hello to when I came home.
Met my husband 2 weeks later!

HoosierBj, a cat is a great idea. My friend got one I think a couple weeks ago. She also has many birds. They keep her company. Animal therapy..lol. Animals help so much when you're depressed, etc.

Thanks for your post!

Upshutter

------------------
~I am but one small instrument~
~Smile, you live longer~
Paradigm shift to proactivity saves lives.
A smile will save this world, some of us just don't know that yet.

I did'nt get married till I was 35 and my husband 34. That was 6 years ago. We have a precious 3 yr. old that keeps me hopping. We were both never married, no kids. Just waited for the right one. It is hard to wait, I know. I agree with the other post. check out the guy in the corner.

Check out the guy in the corner? lol. I think that one confused me. lol

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~I am but one small instrument~
~Smile, you live longer~
Paradigm shift to proactivity saves lives.
A smile will save this world, some of us just don't know that yet.

Just remind her that sometimes you have to wait for the best things in life http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif !!

I was married at 27 and my best friend (we're the same age) was very jealous of me at the time because I got married before her. After 5 yrs of a bad marriage I was divorced, and that was 12 yrs ago. My girlfriend finally met her dream man only 2 yrs ago (at 42 yrs old) and they've been happily married for over a year. And here I am, still sitting here divorced and with an attitude toward men.

I also met a wonderful man 2 years ago and we date, but I am once bitten, twice shy about the marriage thing. The moral of my story is, take your time, don't rush into things, and Mr. Right will eventually come along. It's not always a good thing to be married when you're young. When you're a little older you know more about who you are and what you want out of life. You are much wiser about choosing a compatible partner who shares the same dreams as you do. He's out there, just give it time. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

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*Susie*

Wow, great replies you guys. TeTro, I remind her every time I talk to her.

Susiejb, you are very helpful. So sorry about your experience. Thanks for your reply. He is out there. Time is a little stinker sometimes http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif
Upshutter

------------------
~I am but one small instrument~
~Smile, you live longer~
Paradigm shift to proactivity saves lives.
A smile will save this world, some of us just don't know that yet.