I knew it was coming....and then a few days ago I woke up and like oversleeping for an important flight I realized it was less than 2 mos away. Let me explain bdays have never meant anything and I am not vain about age...but this one has got me. Ten years ago I remember planning my 50th bday party. I dont want a party. I am struggling to come up with something momentous to do..a life shift...a spiritual revelation..anything...HELLPP...what have others done or if it is approaching like me...are you have surprising anxiety?????

Happy birthday in advance. My 44th is coming up in two months too. My husband always try to due something nice on my birthday. But lately I too have been having the feelings of why bother. Just another year. Seems when I turned 16 I was excited. When I turned 21 it was HOT DANG! Legal now. When I turned 30 it was "What not yet." Now after 40 its been BIG DEAL. Another one. I guess its a feeling of where did the time go. When I was younger I could not have pictured myself at this age and yet somehow feeling I'd be farther along in my life than what I am.
But I smile and try to find things that make me glad I came this far. My son,new marriage,daughter in law, grandson.

My wish for you is to also find some things in your life you're glad to have been here for.

Have a nice day and I hope I helped a little by you knowing that you're not the only one who feels that way.

Hey, it is wonderful! How fortunate we are. We have
passed the point that you are speaking of but believe
me, we enjoy every part of life that we can. If you
have your health and happiness, what more can one
ask for? Live everyday to the fullest, and as they
say, today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Great way to look at it. We absolutely do not
consider ourselves old and do enjoy life. Keep in
good shape and enjoy. You are still going to be
young at 50. There is hardly a time that we go out
that we don't receive compliments, and that is not
bragging. Relish what you have and extend with it.
30 was actually my worst time. Ha!

If you decide to have a party here are some games you might play.(REMEMBER these games are only for laughs I mean no disrepect at all)I found them on an arthritis web site.

1)Sag!You're it!
2)Pin the toupee on the bald guy.
3)20 questions shouted in your good ear.
4)Kick the bucket
5)Red Rover,Red Rover,the nurse says bend over.
6)Doc,Doc,goose
7)Simon says something incoherent
8)Musical recliners
9)Spin the bottle of mylanta
10)Hide and go pee

I hope this brought a little giggle into your day.

Go out and have a good time. life is short and getting shorter! It seems like yesterday I turned 50 and now I'll be 55 in another week. My worst year was 30, I refused to celebrate it and turned it off, when I turned 31 I really thought I was turning 30 because I had forgotten the year before. I like what Irish Cream put out there those goofy sayings can make ya laugh.

Thank all of you for your encouraging thoughts and good wishes. It is still a struggle and I am in the mud. Nothing really seems funny to me.
And as much as I resist sharing this..it feels more like the beginning of dying...does anyone out there have (or had) those kind of feelings ....

I can relate to you I too will turn 50 in April I have seriously thought about skipping 50, and 51 and going right to 52 everyone I know has developed health problems at 50 and 51 so Io figure I will skip the nest 2 and avoid those problems.... however my thinking was changes when I happened to turn 49 last year and developed some problems so I decided I willhave the birthdays............. and I will live like im 25 without the problems of the 25 year olds. I just want to have funnn..................Happy Birthday

Just try to look on the bright side. After all, there have been many people who have never turned 50.

I like what HelenH remarked; 30 was my worst, and
after that everything seemed to fall into place.
The biggest part is to always think "young" and
live it; you will love it. Granted, there will be
some days when you will feel it, but as they say
today is the first day of the rest of your life. We
got to enjoy and be thankful that we have our health
to do it.

I completely understand how you're feeling. I will turn 50 in August and I've been having these same thoughts. When I want to buy something, I found myself thinking, I'm almost 50, how much longer will I have - is it worth buying it now? Then, just this week, I decided 50 or 25 -who knows how long you have left, I'm really going to work on staying healthy and enjoying life to the fullest. It's going to be hard to change my thinking, but am hoping I can do it - hopefully you can too.

Hi!
I think I know how you feel. I turned 50 in February 03, and prior to that I was totally depressed at the thought of being that age. There's nothing wrong with the age, it's just that I could not believe it was REALLY happening to me. I dreaded the day. It was like "shot day" in elementary school when everyone had to line up and wait anxiously for that horrible, horrible shot!

I was torn between wanting to get away by myself and cry, going somewhere with my husband and/or family, ignoring the event completely, or having a party. I chose the party, and planned it myself. I rented a hall and had a disco party, karaoke, food and dancing. It was an incredable distraction, and so much fun. All my friends and family would give weekly updates about the search for costumes. My girlfriends and I sang oldie songs, and we danced all night. It was truly wonderful. And, now I feel better. My advise is, celebrate it, embrace it and cherish it as a once in a lifetime, important event. You are moving into a truly wonderful time in your life. You are gaining confidence, wisdom, knowledge and inner peace.

I also took time for self reflection by looking at old photo albums, and journals to get a sense of where I've been these past 50 years. Then I wrote about it, and charted the course for my next 50 by writing a list things I want to accomplish, experience and add to my life.

Take care and good luck!

GreenInk,

It sounds as if you need music lessons! Is there an instrument you have always wanted to play? Piano is a good one. There are lots of on-line groups for adult beginner musicians. My dad got a violin for his 76th birthday.

Try something new. Take a course at the local community college or county adult education center. Learn a language.

I understand what you are going through and I know that quick fixes are hard to find; however, my curiosity about life and learning has really kept be going through thick and thin.

Good Luck!

GreenInk,
When I was mid 40 ish I started to have health problems like back pain and pains in my knees when I went down a hill. I really thought 'this is it; I'm old now'. But that was all wrong. When I was 49 I took up mountain climbing on a dare. Imagine a sedentary woman going to weight training class with a bunch of younger folks the age of her children. Imagine a middle aged woman venturing into a gym for the first time and trying to conceal that fact that she didn't know what she was doing. I even used the aerobics machine at the back of the room to hide, even though it wasn't the machine I wanted. Well the aerobic exercise and weight training have done me a ton of good. My husband and I have a new hobby that we enjoy doing together, and which motivates us to eat right and keep up the exercise. We are members of climbing clubs where we make new friends and climb with young people, which makes us feel much younger too. Sure sometimes we get scrapes and bruises and our daughter is worried about what we'll try next, but I feel like I am in much better shape than I have ever been in my whole life, especially since I didn't do sports when I was a student.
Your life is what you make it. Keep positive. Keep active. Keep involved. Those are the secrets of successful aging according to a recent study by the Mac Arthur Foundation.

turning 50??? I had cosmetic surgery and feel better than i did when i was 30.....lol true though!!

you might be able to give me some insight... i occasionally see someone who will be 50 really soon. i'm half his age. am i his midlife crisis? he seems so down sometimes. i just don't know what to think. any thought he feels the same i do? i enjoy the company, know it can be serious but i enjoy it for the time being, am i just being a naive little girl in his eyes? does he go and tell his friends about me? he's not that kind of guy, i don't think, but i'm not sure. i'm just worried. i know he used to respect me, but now i don't know. i'm not a giggly bouncy 25 yr old girl, i'm not a shallow bimbo, but does it matter? could i just be an ego picker upper?

Hi, I'm 52. I think I'm too short to be this age and my son tells me I'm too short to be 12! I was a bit bothered about these last 3 birthdays, but realized that if you look around, the world is full of survivors of birthdays. You're not alone in this aging boat!

I'm reminded of what my father used to say, quoting someone else (maybe George Burns): "Age is a matter of mind over matter - if you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

So, happy birthday to you! Enjoy all there is to taste, feel, see, hear! Live!! Look up - you can see the sky!!

Peace - Barbara

let's hear from you when you are 62 like me

Hi, James,

Well, I have lupus that was diagnosed 4 years ago and with that comes memory problems, so I may not remember to write you if and when I'm 62!! Besides that, I haven't arrived at 52 unscathed by life, but that doesn't diminish the wonder and beauty that are all around us.

Peace - Barbara

I know the feeling! I will be 50 next month and I have been complaining about it for months already! It just seems so old all of a sudden like going from 20 to 40 overnight or something! But I would rather be 50 than NOTHING! I think I will just say 49 and holding..lol

Both my husband and I turned 50 this year, him in Feb and me in April, we celebrated it together and went on a trip, I figured I raised two kids (19 & 23) and now it is time for us to enjoy our life, so live it up and do something for you on your birthday!!!

[This message has been edited by bunky3444 (edited 07-23-2003).]

Hi -

I've been reading these posts with interest...just found this board...

Seems like I was 50 just yesterday - yet yesterday I already turned 53.

People tell me I look alot younger than my age, but I see all the signs of aging. And what I notice the most is I've become more invisible - to men ....

I used to attact men all over the place; and now, that I am alone, single, etc. it's depressing that men don't find me attractive anymore ... so it's harder to meet people in general; they usually want someone younger.

But my self-image is becomeing old too. All I can say is when I turned 50 alot of things stopped for me. It was the year my mom died, it was the year that I broke up with a man I had hoped to spend the rest of my life with, it was the year I abruptly stopped getting my period.

Life seemed to end for me, and I went and still am in a deep depression. I can't say anything positive about being "older" ...I used to look at women like myself (when I was safely in a relationship) and feel sorry for them because they were all alone in restaurants - well that's me now, except I just stay home because I don't feel comfortable going to restaurants alone.

I had gained weight - but now I'm working out every day and losing it ... but I am definitely mourning the loss of my youthful appearance and my invisibility. it's just not fair. It isn't. People lookk right through you.

Kitty

I just turned 52. I don't like it but remember we boomers really do rule. Besides, what other option do we have? I always feel better when I realize we'd already be dead had we been born during previous centuries. Hey now is the time to do something you have always wanted to do. And I enjoy all the wisdom I have gained through life experiences.

I just turned 52. I don't like it but remember we boomers really do rule. Besides, what other option do we have? I always feel better when I realize we'd already be dead had we been born during previous centuries. Hey now is the time to do something you have always wanted to do. And I enjoy all the wisdom I have gained through life experiences.

I'm turning 50 next June and am throwing myself a "Hawaii Five-0" theme party/hog roast.

If you're looking for someing a little more removed, you can arrange to be somewhere special on your birthday, away from all the black over the hill gifts (boy I hate those). A nice day trip or weekend depending on when your birthday falls.

If I could think of a something along the volunteer line that would be realistic I'd suggest that. It's hard to think about ourselves when we're helping someone else.

So far I'm just thrilled to have survived my life to have even turned 50 at all!!