LaurenRae
07-24-2003, 02:15 AM
My 12 year old daughter has always been a big girl. She's always been taller than other kids and heavier. Over the last 10 months she has lost nearly 70 pounds, the last 7 in just the past two weeks. I know she was too heavy before, but now she is getting so skinny! I can feel (and see!) her bones in her shoulders and when I give her a hug, I can feel her ribs sticking out. Her cheek bones are so pronounced. I took her to the doctor a few months ago, when the weight loss wasn't as much and he did some blood work on her - everything was ok. I recently took her back because in a very brief time she dropped another 20 pounds (she was also getting a lot of bruises) and he did another round of blood tests on her. Everything came back normal. The doctor told me that she is in the normal range for her height (she is about 5 feet, 6 and one half inches tall). Now she's lost some more...she looks so frail! She does seem to have enough energy during the day (she's exhausted by late evening). She just doesn't eat very much anymore - because she says she is just not that hungry. She assures me that she is not "dieting". Anyways, I was content to just let things ride for a bit but tonight she tells me that when she woke up this morning (I was already at work and she didn't show her grandma) her bottom lip was blue. This happened again around noon. She went swimming in an indoor pool this afternoon and she said her lips were blue when she got out. I should mention that today it was 32 degrees Celsius here - very hot - so it can't be because it was too cold out! I have told her that if this happens again she is to let me know right away. To make a long story short, I'm concerned. Does anyone have any ideas? Does this sound fairly normal? The blue lips thing scares me. Any comments, etc. would be so appreciated. Thanks.
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neuronz-on-the-fritz
07-24-2003, 04:52 AM
I had eating disorders for years.....do not depend on your daughter to accurately tell you what she is really doing...and 'normal' weight does not mean no problems. Docs are typically oriented at numbers and things they can see...not their fault. Take her to a specialist for an evaluation. The earlier the treatment, the more likely it is she will completely recover. I had eating disorders from the ages of 11-33- been starve/purge free for 7 years now, but went through years of hell. She's lost A LOT of weight, especially for a kid...you're absolutely right to be concerned. People with eating disorders don't usually mean to lie, but the disease/distortions are so much a part of thier lives that their truth isn't based in reality. This is a direct result of malnutrition... go with your gut; she may be pissed off, but at least she'll be alive to be mad! The blue lip deal means she's not maintaining her own body heat properly. It's a warning sign. (I'm also a nurse, as well as recovered) Take her to a doc that knows about eating disorders.
[This message has been edited by neuronz-on-the-fritz (edited 07-24-2003).]
[This message has been edited by neuronz-on-the-fritz (edited 07-24-2003).]
Jennifluffer
07-24-2003, 03:04 PM
I agree. Please take her to a specialist that deals with eating disorders. She's lost too much weight for it to be "normal." She's had two normal blood tests which shows you she doesn't have a medical explanation for her weight loss. It sounds to me like she has an eating disorder.
Good luck!
Good luck!
bngreen
07-24-2003, 05:46 PM
First off, how much does she weigh?
I also agree with the other posters. She is not going to tell you if she has an eating disorder. Another way to tell is how she looks. If she has just lost fat and not gained muscle, she will be a little flabby rather than toned with muscle. This could be a sign of an eating disorder. My sister lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. We knew it was from exercise and diet because of how she looked. She didn't have mush muscle.
I hope she gets help before it is too late.
I also agree with the other posters. She is not going to tell you if she has an eating disorder. Another way to tell is how she looks. If she has just lost fat and not gained muscle, she will be a little flabby rather than toned with muscle. This could be a sign of an eating disorder. My sister lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. We knew it was from exercise and diet because of how she looked. She didn't have mush muscle.
I hope she gets help before it is too late.
LaurenRae
07-24-2003, 06:10 PM
Thank you everyone for your replies. To answer your question, bngreen, she now weighs 123. She was up to 195 at her heaviest. She is a little flabby - not really toned. Especially in her arms and legs. I know the weight of 123 sounds like it should be ok - but it just doesn't seem like enough on her. She has quite a large frame - her feet are a size 10 - and I don't think anyone looks good when you can see shoulder bones, etc. And her face is starting to get that sunken look. Like you said, neuronze, go with your gut - and my gut right now says something isn't right. Our pediatrician moved out of our city a year or so ago to another center about 2 hours away. I called there today and we have an appointment on Aug. 5. I have total trust in him and know he will take my concerns very seriously, and if need be, refer her to a specialist. I'm hoping that her weight loss just stops and everything turns out fine, but we will just have to deal with whatever happens. I will keep you posted...thanks!
onenutshy101
07-25-2003, 02:41 AM
Hon, take your child to a doctor that is familiar with your daughter for one. Two, you said that your daughter is 5'6 and 1/2 inches tall. Technically, her weight should be about 115 - 130. I know that the numbers don't sound good when your looking at your daughter now, but also have to remember that she did weigh more, she has lost ALOT of weight, and until she tones up, she will look really skinny.
I went through a period where I lost alot of weight, looked anorexic though I wasn't. I wanted to lose 10 pounds, well once my body realized that it was in actual weight loss mode, when I tried to stop, I ended up losing close to 25 pounds. It was actually harder to try to put some back on.
After the doctors visit, why don't you see a weight loss specialist and let them speak with your daughter and tell her how to lose the weight sensibly and the right way. Good luck.
I went through a period where I lost alot of weight, looked anorexic though I wasn't. I wanted to lose 10 pounds, well once my body realized that it was in actual weight loss mode, when I tried to stop, I ended up losing close to 25 pounds. It was actually harder to try to put some back on.
After the doctors visit, why don't you see a weight loss specialist and let them speak with your daughter and tell her how to lose the weight sensibly and the right way. Good luck.
jessilynn68
07-25-2003, 11:42 AM
I am so glad she is going to see a different doctor. Good luck to you.
And while your daughter may or may not be sexually active doesn't really have much to do with this, unless you think she is on some sort of self-destructive behavior path.
[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 07-30-2003).]
And while your daughter may or may not be sexually active doesn't really have much to do with this, unless you think she is on some sort of self-destructive behavior path.
[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 07-30-2003).]
bngreen
07-25-2003, 06:16 PM
Wow..she is real tall for age. I didn't hit five foot until I was a freshman in high school. She might have an eating dissoder, but she is within her weight range. She may just look so skinny because she was so heavy. I hope everything works out okay and you get it figured out.
neuronz-on-the-fritz
07-25-2003, 10:31 PM
I was amazed at the post about people with aids being thin because of meds..... they are thin because they're sick, and their bodies are burning excessive energy to stay alive...meds don't help with the weightloss, but it's not about 'fat burners' in aids meds.... their bodies eat away at themselves (I'm a nurse of 18 years, worked with a bunch of people with aids- they get thin just like people with 'regular' cancers do... many people with aids die from forms of cancer that hiv positive people are more prone to.).
I'm glad you're getting help for your daugher.... the actual numbers on the scale have absolutely nothing to do with the severity of the disorder. If she'd started at 140 pounds, where would she be now? The medical and psych communities have these arbitrary numbers they use for diagnostic purposes, but then say it's not about the numbers.... how schizy is that? She'll defend her disease to the end- be prepared for some sorts of battles.... but remember, it's the disease, not her that's talking. I had eating disorders for 22 years- been starve/purge free for 7 (am almost 40 now- was 11 when it started, back when eating disorders weren't known). you can't get help too quickly- she has a much better chance of recovery if she gets help before she does dip below 100 pounds. You're doing the right thing!!!!
[This message has been edited by neuronz-on-the-fritz (edited 07-25-2003).]
I'm glad you're getting help for your daugher.... the actual numbers on the scale have absolutely nothing to do with the severity of the disorder. If she'd started at 140 pounds, where would she be now? The medical and psych communities have these arbitrary numbers they use for diagnostic purposes, but then say it's not about the numbers.... how schizy is that? She'll defend her disease to the end- be prepared for some sorts of battles.... but remember, it's the disease, not her that's talking. I had eating disorders for 22 years- been starve/purge free for 7 (am almost 40 now- was 11 when it started, back when eating disorders weren't known). you can't get help too quickly- she has a much better chance of recovery if she gets help before she does dip below 100 pounds. You're doing the right thing!!!!
[This message has been edited by neuronz-on-the-fritz (edited 07-25-2003).]
klayr
07-26-2003, 01:27 AM
Hi! Let's don't forget the obvious here. Many girls shed weight at the time of puberty. They don't necessarily have to do too much, it's just a natural change for some girls. She may have a high metabolism because she is so tall. Has she started her period yet? Has she begun to develop? Some girls are just growing at such a rapid rate that they lose weight. It's good that you're bringing her in to see a familiar doctor. Maybe you should suggest that she see the doctor by herself. She may feel more at ease to speak if you aren't in the room. The doctor can fill you in on anything that you might need to know later. Also, do you monitor her meals? You said that she's with you or her sister a great deal of the time. Start paying attention to what and how much she eats. Then pay attention to how soon she goes into the bathroom after meals. Recruit your other daughter. Good luck to you all.
lisamg
07-27-2003, 09:21 AM
see a doc. better safe than sorry. no matter what weight she atarted at...that amount of weight in such a short amount of time sounds scary.
as a young teen, 13 i had a horrible self image...and i hated my "fat rolls" i wasnt even fat looking back, but not real thin either. bottom line, i was secretly, very secretly binging and purging...i was ashamed.i would have never told! maybe with your daughter its not that, but it sounds like SOMETHING...good luck.
as a young teen, 13 i had a horrible self image...and i hated my "fat rolls" i wasnt even fat looking back, but not real thin either. bottom line, i was secretly, very secretly binging and purging...i was ashamed.i would have never told! maybe with your daughter its not that, but it sounds like SOMETHING...good luck.
yoga1st
07-28-2003, 02:24 AM
i hate to bring this up but what kind of freinds does your daughter have??? how well do you know them?? i know 12 is very young but i was 12 when i started smoking pot and only a few yrs later got into meth and i am 5'9 and weighed 115 at my lowest meth makes you lose a ton of weight you can lose 10 pounds in just a few days , i don't know what other drugs are out there anymore that make you lose weight but its not something to ignore,
LaurenRae
07-31-2003, 05:36 PM
Thanks everyone for your concerns and thoughts. Yoga, I know my daughter isn't doing any drugs - she is totally against drugs and her group of friends are not the type.
Now something else is happening that has me concerned. The area on her palm - particularily the large fleshy part under the thumb just above the wrist - is at times blue...looks like it's bruised. Yet it's not a bruise because it comes and goes. Her lips turned blue yesterday again while she was swimming (indoor pool) - yet her sister and their friend said it was quite warm. Has anyone had this happen on their hands before?
Now something else is happening that has me concerned. The area on her palm - particularily the large fleshy part under the thumb just above the wrist - is at times blue...looks like it's bruised. Yet it's not a bruise because it comes and goes. Her lips turned blue yesterday again while she was swimming (indoor pool) - yet her sister and their friend said it was quite warm. Has anyone had this happen on their hands before?
K&D
07-31-2003, 10:37 PM
Whether it be puberty or dieting or whatever the case..she shouldn't be losing that fast. That age is soooooo sensitive to weight...and I know things can happen without mom knowing it, whether it be drugs, sex, eating disorders. But the most important thing...is all those things can be "fixed"....I know as concerned as you are...and even if it's an illness...you must ease your mind by finding out the bottom of it. Get more opinions...whatever...I'm sure everything will be fine, but at least you'll know the answer.
CUPCAKE34
08-01-2003, 02:05 AM
usually when any part on your body turns blue, it is a sign of not enough oxygen in your blood, leading to a more serious problem, just something to check into . good luck to you god bless.
Mach
08-02-2003, 03:50 PM
Hey, about the bone structure.. i also am "supposed" to be in a range from 160 to 170... i dropped down to 168 one time after a long diet and I looked horrible. I just have such a big bone structure that it weighs that much more i guess. So dont go by the normal, I would sit her down and tell her to her face that you think she looks too skinny and that it doesnt look good. My parents bluntly told me, "you look like ****".. at first i thought they were jeleaous and now I realised I did look bad, so i put back on a few pounds. I think the weight shes at right now sounds like it could be normal and your just not used to it... but after you saying the speed shes dropped that weight.. you may want to make sure shes not belemic.
LaurenRae
08-06-2003, 02:48 PM
We had our doctor's appointment yesterday with our old pediatrician. He agrees that unless she was purposely dieting - which she says she is not - then there has to be a physical reason for it. So we had a bunch of blood work/urine tests done and we go back in a week or so for some more tests. He said that yes, she is in the normal weight for her age - but she is also tall for her age. He said tho that so much weight loss in that length of time without someone dieting is cause for concern. He said that if he cannot find anything physically wrong we will see a dietician and go from there. My daughter has lost more weight since the beginning of July and has gone from a size 7 to a size 4. Scares me...
I'll post again when we find out something. Thanks for all your concerns.
I'll post again when we find out something. Thanks for all your concerns.
Kimberbella
08-07-2003, 12:37 AM
Hi Lauren Rae,
I was just reading all the posts and thought about suggesting a thyroid test, or at least looking into it as a possible cause? I always think of that when fast weight loss appears, as thyroid problems are rampid in my family. Just a thought.
Best wishes... Kim :)
[This message has been edited by Kimberbella (edited 08-06-2003).]
I was just reading all the posts and thought about suggesting a thyroid test, or at least looking into it as a possible cause? I always think of that when fast weight loss appears, as thyroid problems are rampid in my family. Just a thought.
Best wishes... Kim :)
[This message has been edited by Kimberbella (edited 08-06-2003).]
hyzenthlay
08-08-2003, 01:33 AM
i'm disturbed that as soon as people heard weight loss on a girl they immediately assumed dieting or eating disorder. this kind of thinking could let a real health problem go ignored, as often happens with women/girls in the doctor's office.
i agree with kim, it could be a thyroid condition set off by puberty. or something else. write down all signs of anything out of the ordinary you notice and bring the list to the doctor with you.
i agree with kim, it could be a thyroid condition set off by puberty. or something else. write down all signs of anything out of the ordinary you notice and bring the list to the doctor with you.
Sue1MVP
08-14-2003, 12:24 AM
My daughter is 14 years old.
When she was 12, she wore an adult size 11/12 shorts. She was quite "pudgie".
Between June of 2001 and June 2002, she went down to a size 5 junior. She lost 25 pounds and grew 3 1/2 inches in one year.
She is now 5' 6, and weighs 118 pounds.
I took her to the doctor for a check-up and she assured me that this was normal. She also told me that by the time she was done growing, she'd be 5' 9'' tall.
When she was 12, she wore an adult size 11/12 shorts. She was quite "pudgie".
Between June of 2001 and June 2002, she went down to a size 5 junior. She lost 25 pounds and grew 3 1/2 inches in one year.
She is now 5' 6, and weighs 118 pounds.
I took her to the doctor for a check-up and she assured me that this was normal. She also told me that by the time she was done growing, she'd be 5' 9'' tall.
neuronz-on-the-fritz
08-14-2003, 04:13 AM
Uh, eating disorders are REAL health problems that kill. But, point taken- it is wise to check out many different angles. And the posts about weight ranges being arbitrary are also a good point. If I get to the weight on the charts, I look like death. Ribs hanging out, etc. It's the overall picture- weight loss, turning blue, bones prominent, etc that is cause for concern. And- there are a lot of people with serious eating disorders that are within their weight range, or over- the numbers are really not that important. Hope the medical stuff turns out ok, but also hope you get some answers.
scorpiochik777
08-15-2003, 03:51 AM
lauren,
I hate to bring this up, but ive heard that many heart and other major organ conditions cause weight loss...and you dont find them through the normal blood tests.
My aunts husband has a 14 year old neice that was always a little heavy...then she just started losing weight.
She was eating ok and had energy, but once in a while she would just get exausted and have to lie down.
The doctors did blood tests and said it was nothing, normal puberty stuff.
They pushed for more tests but got nowhere.
Finally a specialist had her checked for heart problems and she has a rare heart condition.
She went from being a slightly overweight energetic pre-teen, to being in the childrens hospital permanantly waiting for a hear/lung transplant.
She has been there for over a year and close to getting a transplant twice, but the organs went bad before they got to the hospital.
I know it is scary...but please...
" if you have doubts, dont take no for an answer"
take her to all the doctors you need to, and ask for every test in the book if you have to.
No doctor knows your daughter like you know her.
Perhaps a therpist could help also, if she is having problems she might tell a therpist before she would tell you.
It isnt that you are a bad mother or that she is doing anything bad...
its just that sometimes kids dont want to hurt their parents by telling them the things that are wrong in their lives.
They sometimes feel like parents wont understand or that their parents already have enough stress in their own lives to help with their kids problems also.
good luck.
carrie
I hate to bring this up, but ive heard that many heart and other major organ conditions cause weight loss...and you dont find them through the normal blood tests.
My aunts husband has a 14 year old neice that was always a little heavy...then she just started losing weight.
She was eating ok and had energy, but once in a while she would just get exausted and have to lie down.
The doctors did blood tests and said it was nothing, normal puberty stuff.
They pushed for more tests but got nowhere.
Finally a specialist had her checked for heart problems and she has a rare heart condition.
She went from being a slightly overweight energetic pre-teen, to being in the childrens hospital permanantly waiting for a hear/lung transplant.
She has been there for over a year and close to getting a transplant twice, but the organs went bad before they got to the hospital.
I know it is scary...but please...
" if you have doubts, dont take no for an answer"
take her to all the doctors you need to, and ask for every test in the book if you have to.
No doctor knows your daughter like you know her.
Perhaps a therpist could help also, if she is having problems she might tell a therpist before she would tell you.
It isnt that you are a bad mother or that she is doing anything bad...
its just that sometimes kids dont want to hurt their parents by telling them the things that are wrong in their lives.
They sometimes feel like parents wont understand or that their parents already have enough stress in their own lives to help with their kids problems also.
good luck.
carrie
scorpiochik777
08-15-2003, 03:58 AM
Lauren...
one other thing.
Are you overwight?
alot of times what an overweight parent thinks is "too skinny" is just their perception of what is a healthy weight. Beacause you are so used to seeing your daughter a little heavy it may be a shock to see her so skinny now...even though she may not be unhealthily skinny.
I am 5'9"...125 lbs, I am very skinny, and my mom calls me "bones". lol
although I am trying to gain a little weight, I am technically at a normal waight for my haight, and dont suffer any fatigue or illness due to thin body type.
one other thing.
Are you overwight?
alot of times what an overweight parent thinks is "too skinny" is just their perception of what is a healthy weight. Beacause you are so used to seeing your daughter a little heavy it may be a shock to see her so skinny now...even though she may not be unhealthily skinny.
I am 5'9"...125 lbs, I am very skinny, and my mom calls me "bones". lol
although I am trying to gain a little weight, I am technically at a normal waight for my haight, and dont suffer any fatigue or illness due to thin body type.
COR1269
08-15-2003, 08:33 PM
Hello,
The reason her lips may be turning blue is because she doesnt have enough fat on her bones, like the rest of us, to keep us warm. My best friend is the same way, but he was always skinny, and when he comes in my pool, which is usually 85 degrees, he comes out and his lips are blue, when it is like 90 degress out. I think that may be the problem. But it might be good to be going to see another docter just to make sure she is fine.
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Cory
The reason her lips may be turning blue is because she doesnt have enough fat on her bones, like the rest of us, to keep us warm. My best friend is the same way, but he was always skinny, and when he comes in my pool, which is usually 85 degrees, he comes out and his lips are blue, when it is like 90 degress out. I think that may be the problem. But it might be good to be going to see another docter just to make sure she is fine.
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Cory