orion
11-29-2000, 03:19 AM
For some reason my "Male Infertility" suggestion has been closed. I obviously didn't make my point clear enough under that topic so let me try again.
If you look at infertility topics on other boards, they are dominated by women. This happens despite the fact that men account for 50% of infertility cases. The reason for the predominance of women on these boards is that men have a much harder time talking about infertility when they are the cause. Men will not talk to their friends about this problem and often hide from the reality of the problem. Society expects men to be strong, virile and fertile. If they fail in any these areas, they are ridiculed and humiliated by society. Saying "that is their problem" is true, but it doesn't help these men at all.
When men do seek out help, they rarely find other males willing to talk. It is very discouraging to read through hundreds of fertility messages from women and find few, if any, from males.
I think it would be very useful to have a separate heading for men so that they could quickly find other males who could help them deal with this difficult issue.
[This message has been edited by orion (edited 11-29-2000).]
If you look at infertility topics on other boards, they are dominated by women. This happens despite the fact that men account for 50% of infertility cases. The reason for the predominance of women on these boards is that men have a much harder time talking about infertility when they are the cause. Men will not talk to their friends about this problem and often hide from the reality of the problem. Society expects men to be strong, virile and fertile. If they fail in any these areas, they are ridiculed and humiliated by society. Saying "that is their problem" is true, but it doesn't help these men at all.
When men do seek out help, they rarely find other males willing to talk. It is very discouraging to read through hundreds of fertility messages from women and find few, if any, from males.
I think it would be very useful to have a separate heading for men so that they could quickly find other males who could help them deal with this difficult issue.
[This message has been edited by orion (edited 11-29-2000).]
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orion
12-02-2000, 07:09 PM
One other point: Under the present infertility forum heading it adds the possible link of "women's health" but it makes no reference to the "man's health" forum. The natural bias is to assume that infertility is a woman's health problem and not a man's. Proving the point that men need a separate and clearly marked place to discuss the male side of this issue because most men assume that infertility is a woman's problem too.
Catriona
12-03-2000, 02:48 AM
Orion--
You have just given a good reason for the infertility subject NOT to be divided into sexes. If there are not many men who are going to write or talk about their problems, what is the point creating a forum for it?
I am not trying to discredit your argument because, being female, I can not understand your perspective.
About the mens health, there is a forum for it. I am not sure what the layout of your forum list is but on mine, it is alphabetical and it is right there....under "M" - Mens Health.
Catriona
You have just given a good reason for the infertility subject NOT to be divided into sexes. If there are not many men who are going to write or talk about their problems, what is the point creating a forum for it?
I am not trying to discredit your argument because, being female, I can not understand your perspective.
About the mens health, there is a forum for it. I am not sure what the layout of your forum list is but on mine, it is alphabetical and it is right there....under "M" - Mens Health.
Catriona
orion
12-03-2000, 03:55 AM
Catriona, thanks for you thoughtful reply. I hoped that the fact that a forum for men's infertility would exist might encourage men to talk. When a guy looks and sees that only women are talking about infertility, he sees that it is not acceptable for a guy to speak of these things openly. If he sees a specific forum, labeled for his infertility, then maybe we will open some communications.
One way to help you understand the difference in thinking between men and women is to look at their behavior. When out in a group, women quite often ask each other to go to the restroom together, but guys never do that. Even this simple situation is too sexually charged for men to handle easily, so they avoid it. Sad, but true. Like wise, women can talk more openly and honestly about sexual problems. Guys just talk in general, make jokes and pretend it isn't happening to them.
I was aware that the "men's health" forum exists but if you look at the "infertility forum" it references, as an alternative site, only the "women's health" forum and it does not reference the "men's health" forum. My point was that most people assume infertility is a womans problem and so it was obvious to reference the "women's health" but no one even thought to reference the mens'. This bias even extends into infertility clinics, but that is another story.
Of course you are correct that if only a few men will talk then the forum won't be useful. But I think it is worth a try.
One way to help you understand the difference in thinking between men and women is to look at their behavior. When out in a group, women quite often ask each other to go to the restroom together, but guys never do that. Even this simple situation is too sexually charged for men to handle easily, so they avoid it. Sad, but true. Like wise, women can talk more openly and honestly about sexual problems. Guys just talk in general, make jokes and pretend it isn't happening to them.
I was aware that the "men's health" forum exists but if you look at the "infertility forum" it references, as an alternative site, only the "women's health" forum and it does not reference the "men's health" forum. My point was that most people assume infertility is a womans problem and so it was obvious to reference the "women's health" but no one even thought to reference the mens'. This bias even extends into infertility clinics, but that is another story.
Of course you are correct that if only a few men will talk then the forum won't be useful. But I think it is worth a try.
Catriona
12-04-2000, 07:57 AM
Orion--
Thank you for understanding that I wasnt trying to be nasty. At times, people just don't listen to the words and tones, they make an automatic assumption.
I do see the difference. It is a shame though. There is so much that can be gained from talking to a friend that it is sad that men don't get past this stereotypical version of a man. I know that there are many which I aply to myself, but when it comes to health, there should never be any reason that stops people talking about it. Many of the problems that people, men and women alike, go to the doctors with can be easily resolved be talking about it with people who have been through the same things, or have knowledge in that area. This may relieve some of the congestion out of the medical system.
I have to admit that I do believe that the chances of a man talking about his infertility problems would more than likely increase if he were to know that no women were looking at it, or at least know that the majority of people reading were men.
Once again, thank you
Catriona
Thank you for understanding that I wasnt trying to be nasty. At times, people just don't listen to the words and tones, they make an automatic assumption.
I do see the difference. It is a shame though. There is so much that can be gained from talking to a friend that it is sad that men don't get past this stereotypical version of a man. I know that there are many which I aply to myself, but when it comes to health, there should never be any reason that stops people talking about it. Many of the problems that people, men and women alike, go to the doctors with can be easily resolved be talking about it with people who have been through the same things, or have knowledge in that area. This may relieve some of the congestion out of the medical system.
I have to admit that I do believe that the chances of a man talking about his infertility problems would more than likely increase if he were to know that no women were looking at it, or at least know that the majority of people reading were men.
Once again, thank you
Catriona