I understand completly. As time passes you learn to "deal" with the loss. You function,you maintain your responsibilities, and it quits stabbing your heart every hour, just every 2, then every 4 or 5, 1/2 a day. Gets more and more,less, right in your face. Everyone leaves "it" alone,doesn't mention it because you are handling it so well they don't want to upset you. What the ones who have never lost someone they really loved don't realize is-it still stabs your heart every single day. You just learn to (or try to learn) how to keep it to yourself. I totally know your pain. I pray your angels hold you close and You daily feel God's caring.