Kaitie
09-17-2002, 06:39 PM
Hi everyone. I suffer from BPD. I'm at school right now and I'm having a lil' bit of a rough time because my boyfriend just informed me that he might be going out with his friend tonight rather than watching a movie with me.
This really isn't out of line of him because this Saturday we're going to California on a cruise - but anyways.
So, I'm biting my tongue as not to blow up at him and spaz and accuse him of hating me and cheating on me. It's so stupid. I honestly think these things are true. I've exploded at him on several occasions for the same reason and actually BROKE UP with him twice. Of course that war rediculous - I regretted it like an hour later. I'm screwing up what we have. I'm going to have to go out tonight to to keep my mind from wandering.
Must keep quite. I tell myself now that I'll react fine - and I practice being calm, but as soon as he says he IS going I just know I'm going to flip. HELP.
I'm just writing to get something out on 'paper' rather than vocally.
In reality - I should be in math class doing vectors - but one's head can only take so much of that.
MUST KEEP QUIET
KAITIE
This really isn't out of line of him because this Saturday we're going to California on a cruise - but anyways.
So, I'm biting my tongue as not to blow up at him and spaz and accuse him of hating me and cheating on me. It's so stupid. I honestly think these things are true. I've exploded at him on several occasions for the same reason and actually BROKE UP with him twice. Of course that war rediculous - I regretted it like an hour later. I'm screwing up what we have. I'm going to have to go out tonight to to keep my mind from wandering.
Must keep quite. I tell myself now that I'll react fine - and I practice being calm, but as soon as he says he IS going I just know I'm going to flip. HELP.
I'm just writing to get something out on 'paper' rather than vocally.
In reality - I should be in math class doing vectors - but one's head can only take so much of that.
MUST KEEP QUIET
KAITIE
Sponsor
blue cloud
09-18-2002, 11:36 AM
i know what you mean :)
i did or do exactly the same thing blow up for the smallest of reasons
i was getting married till i decided to call the wedding off after everything had been booked and paid for :(
it seems to be so hard not to hurt the ones we love
you dont have to keep quiet hun we just need to think of what we say and the consiquences (sp) of what we say before we say it
you are always welcome here to get support and advice
love and bubbles blue
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
i did or do exactly the same thing blow up for the smallest of reasons
i was getting married till i decided to call the wedding off after everything had been booked and paid for :(
it seems to be so hard not to hurt the ones we love
you dont have to keep quiet hun we just need to think of what we say and the consiquences (sp) of what we say before we say it
you are always welcome here to get support and advice
love and bubbles blue
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif