Marioochi
11-08-2003, 05:46 PM
I'm wondering how many can hold down a job? I am currently on SSI disablity. I haven't worked since 95. It was hard to fight for the disability but yet I finally got it. I tried last year to take an 8 hour a week job at the local YMCA (2 four hour shifts on T and TH) and couldn't handle it. I was afraid I was making mistakes, worried what people thought, paranoid I would get fired. I mean this was a 8$ an hour clerk position, my husband told me to quit because I was crying and aggitated about going to work, getting there, what to wear, how should I deal with the kids school schedule...etc. I used to be an RN, aced nursing school with A's and then after my pregnancies and my mother died, I just fell apart. How do you all handle it? Like many on hear, I would rather stay in bed, unless I'm manic, then I"ll be out shopping or getting into other trouble. It seems the older I get the more mentally ill I become, I have heard it gets worse with age and cripes I'm only 38. I can tell you I functioned a whole lot better in my 20's. :confused:
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HoosierBj
11-08-2003, 05:59 PM
I worked for years (never high stress jobs tho) until my Dad died right around the same time I had a really perfectionist/perfect standards boss, and I was also plunging headlong into perimenopause.
Haven't worked since Mar. of 2002.
My doctor thinks I am just the epitome of the wonderfully compliant Bipolar and I don't think he would sign me up as being "disabled" to the SS dept. even if I applied. At least I've never heard of anyone getting disability when their doctor doesn't agree that they are not functioning well to work somewhere.
Ok, now I sound like I'm whining, huh? My whole family is so sturdy and hardworking, my husband's family likes to "tease" me, I do wish I could handle stress...
Haven't worked since Mar. of 2002.
My doctor thinks I am just the epitome of the wonderfully compliant Bipolar and I don't think he would sign me up as being "disabled" to the SS dept. even if I applied. At least I've never heard of anyone getting disability when their doctor doesn't agree that they are not functioning well to work somewhere.
Ok, now I sound like I'm whining, huh? My whole family is so sturdy and hardworking, my husband's family likes to "tease" me, I do wish I could handle stress...
2SarniesShort
11-08-2003, 06:21 PM
I gave up work when I had my kids 5 years ago. My last "job" was as a phd student (molecular biology) it wasn't high pressure exactly. The hours of work were very relaxed, you work alone at your own pace on whatever experiment you feel like doing that day. But i managed to make my own pressures. I was petty irritable and moody and felll out with everyone. Then went into terrible disabling depressions. Add to that a divorce (following a manic falling in love with a post doc), the fear of failure and self doubt and it was a pretty horrible time for me. .
I got through it, had my kids and never intend to go back to it. I really don't think I could take the strain, it is fiercely competitive, both for grants and academic prestige.
I don't think that i could go back to work, it terrifies me, having to interact with people who i haven't chosen to be with...arggh...idiots, the selfish, bullies, backstabbers, people who all think I am crazy......makes me curl up.
I am lucky, at the moment my husband makes enough to support me and the kids. I don't need to work.
I am hoping that when the girls are both at school I can make some "pin" money making and selling quilts.
I got through it, had my kids and never intend to go back to it. I really don't think I could take the strain, it is fiercely competitive, both for grants and academic prestige.
I don't think that i could go back to work, it terrifies me, having to interact with people who i haven't chosen to be with...arggh...idiots, the selfish, bullies, backstabbers, people who all think I am crazy......makes me curl up.
I am lucky, at the moment my husband makes enough to support me and the kids. I don't need to work.
I am hoping that when the girls are both at school I can make some "pin" money making and selling quilts.
Steve_the_elf
11-08-2003, 07:23 PM
I really hesitated to get into this subject, but since someone else started it...
I had a, not great, but well-paying job managing a department store until two years ago when I could not handle it anymore and I had to quit. My best friend who was living with me at the time said he would handle the expenses until I found something I could do. I was having terrible problems with anxiety and panic attacks and, I think, the several tantrums I threw before I decided to resign were due to my condition as well, but didn't know what what my problem really was yet. I was fighting with everyone and I am normally a very timid person.
Anyway, all I could handle was 20 hours a week at a video store. This made enough for me to pay my half of the expenses and I also had a few thousand saved from when I worked management. I could really, most days, barely handle THAT. Anytime I have to talk to other people (strangers anyway), I get stressed and depressed.
Soon after working at the video store, a good friend suggested I go back to school. I had taken one semester after I graduated from high school, but quit, because, yes, I couldn't that either. Well, I had the money saved and my parents gave me some more to help pay expenses and I moved from Florida to West Virginia to go to school.
Soon after I got arrived, a friend I knew here and moved in with was stricken with kidney failure, so he was eligible for disability but could not work full time while on dialysis, especially since he had complications and was sick most of the time. This meant that at some point (and soon) I would have to have more money to pay for my half of the expenses, as he would barely be able to pay his. I foolishly made the move in some kind of hypomanic haze as it was, assuming some fairy godmother was going to give me money while I went to school should I run out. Anyway, partly due to my friends illness, which I felt guilt for and partly because of my stupidity, I became very depressed. My first summer off of school (this past one) I was up and down emotionally, irrational, and prone to terrible rages. My roommate even had to call the police to talk to me once. I had already been in treatment beginning in the spring, but my doctor hadn't found the right meds yet.
The counselor at school decided I should apply for SSI, which I did and in the meantime I had applied for food stamps and Medicaid. Naturally, I was denied the SSI and my case worker at my psych center recommended a lawyer and I am apealling it. In the meantime, HHR took away my food stamps yesterday, I have heard nothing about Medicaid (which getting a card would help me pay for testing to help support my diability claim) and I just received the denial of my request for reconsideration today (which was expected anyway. It'll just go to hearing).
I am very depressed. I am broke, in debt and if I have to quit school I would probably be suicidal. I have been in school for a little over a year and am doing extremely well. I had to change my major at first, because my original choice was too much for me, but as an English major, I have a 4.0 and was admitted to Honors and I mostly only have to read and write a lot on my own time. This is one of the few things at which I have ever succeeded. I did receive a grant and a scholarship and got some money out of that, but while pursuing the SSI, I can't work, even if I thought I could. I KNOW I can't go to school and work at the same time. I can't even drive a car.
I don't know what I am going to do, what will happen to me, or what to expect. At least now that I am on good meds, I don't have to worry about the "up" problems, but having the depression alone for the first time is pretty bad. I don't want to take any more medication or end up in the hospital; I've never had a hospitalization.
I had a, not great, but well-paying job managing a department store until two years ago when I could not handle it anymore and I had to quit. My best friend who was living with me at the time said he would handle the expenses until I found something I could do. I was having terrible problems with anxiety and panic attacks and, I think, the several tantrums I threw before I decided to resign were due to my condition as well, but didn't know what what my problem really was yet. I was fighting with everyone and I am normally a very timid person.
Anyway, all I could handle was 20 hours a week at a video store. This made enough for me to pay my half of the expenses and I also had a few thousand saved from when I worked management. I could really, most days, barely handle THAT. Anytime I have to talk to other people (strangers anyway), I get stressed and depressed.
Soon after working at the video store, a good friend suggested I go back to school. I had taken one semester after I graduated from high school, but quit, because, yes, I couldn't that either. Well, I had the money saved and my parents gave me some more to help pay expenses and I moved from Florida to West Virginia to go to school.
Soon after I got arrived, a friend I knew here and moved in with was stricken with kidney failure, so he was eligible for disability but could not work full time while on dialysis, especially since he had complications and was sick most of the time. This meant that at some point (and soon) I would have to have more money to pay for my half of the expenses, as he would barely be able to pay his. I foolishly made the move in some kind of hypomanic haze as it was, assuming some fairy godmother was going to give me money while I went to school should I run out. Anyway, partly due to my friends illness, which I felt guilt for and partly because of my stupidity, I became very depressed. My first summer off of school (this past one) I was up and down emotionally, irrational, and prone to terrible rages. My roommate even had to call the police to talk to me once. I had already been in treatment beginning in the spring, but my doctor hadn't found the right meds yet.
The counselor at school decided I should apply for SSI, which I did and in the meantime I had applied for food stamps and Medicaid. Naturally, I was denied the SSI and my case worker at my psych center recommended a lawyer and I am apealling it. In the meantime, HHR took away my food stamps yesterday, I have heard nothing about Medicaid (which getting a card would help me pay for testing to help support my diability claim) and I just received the denial of my request for reconsideration today (which was expected anyway. It'll just go to hearing).
I am very depressed. I am broke, in debt and if I have to quit school I would probably be suicidal. I have been in school for a little over a year and am doing extremely well. I had to change my major at first, because my original choice was too much for me, but as an English major, I have a 4.0 and was admitted to Honors and I mostly only have to read and write a lot on my own time. This is one of the few things at which I have ever succeeded. I did receive a grant and a scholarship and got some money out of that, but while pursuing the SSI, I can't work, even if I thought I could. I KNOW I can't go to school and work at the same time. I can't even drive a car.
I don't know what I am going to do, what will happen to me, or what to expect. At least now that I am on good meds, I don't have to worry about the "up" problems, but having the depression alone for the first time is pretty bad. I don't want to take any more medication or end up in the hospital; I've never had a hospitalization.
2SarniesShort
11-08-2003, 08:02 PM
when i was doing my first degree, i got quite a bit of money from a charity which was set up to help localkids get an education. You could try looking in some reference books for educational charities. especially get your family to look in your home town.
the other option is that you get a bank loan. here in the uk you can get "career development loans" and "postgraduate study loans" at lowish interest rates. The government loans are the cheapest and you don't have to pay the government loans back until you start earning a decent wage.
A bank loan might buy you some time, time enough to get the meds right so you can work,maybe.....
Of course education in the uk was until recently was completely free and included a maintenance grant for the student. those were the days........
this resulted in working class people getting degrees so they stopped it. (lol)
the other option is that you get a bank loan. here in the uk you can get "career development loans" and "postgraduate study loans" at lowish interest rates. The government loans are the cheapest and you don't have to pay the government loans back until you start earning a decent wage.
A bank loan might buy you some time, time enough to get the meds right so you can work,maybe.....
Of course education in the uk was until recently was completely free and included a maintenance grant for the student. those were the days........
this resulted in working class people getting degrees so they stopped it. (lol)
Steve_the_elf
11-08-2003, 08:06 PM
[FONT=Times New Roman]
Thanks for openning up in your post ~ one thing struck me ~ have you considered filing for SSI disability benefits ???
FONT]
I think I did, but I have been through so much lately, I am not sure anymore.
Thanks for openning up in your post ~ one thing struck me ~ have you considered filing for SSI disability benefits ???
FONT]
I think I did, but I have been through so much lately, I am not sure anymore.
u2fran
11-09-2003, 02:04 AM
[COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I am on ssi, and I worked from august2001 til I was laid off from a teacher's aid job in febuary2003. I have actually got ssi for 20 years, and I have been in job counseling for some time now. I had 2 interwiews for teacher's aid work and have experience and a certificate, but I can't seem to work anymore. My counselor is helping me to apply for financial aid for a work study college grant , and I had a lead for an online job with National telecommuting. But everytime I have an interview I never get hired. With ssi a person can work and still get part of their ssi. I need to work a little bit to make ends meet and to feel better about myself, but I do feel like it is too much of a challege at this time..but hopefully I'll be working partime or doing a work study by January.:eek:
HoosierBj
11-09-2003, 09:36 AM
Sorry folks. I am a nitwit as far as Social Security goes.
The big government intimidation factor.
I'm even confused on whether Social Security Disability is the same as the SSI you are all talking about!!
I got through quite a bit of the online app and then quit due to wierd stuff popping into the areas I needed to type in and the 98% probability that my doctor would laugh if Social Security asked him if he thought I was unable to work.
<heavy sigh>
The big government intimidation factor.
I'm even confused on whether Social Security Disability is the same as the SSI you are all talking about!!
I got through quite a bit of the online app and then quit due to wierd stuff popping into the areas I needed to type in and the 98% probability that my doctor would laugh if Social Security asked him if he thought I was unable to work.
<heavy sigh>
wobbly
11-09-2003, 09:50 AM
I work. I'm a copyeditor at a small company that does prepress (from manuscript till the book goes to the printer). Right now I do 6.5 hours a day and that's about all I can handle. I would love to be part-time the rest of my career, but I don't know if my company would allow that so I'm maintaining the goal of getting back to full-time. It's hard b/c there's pressure and stress involved & I don't deal well with either one. I would like a really low-stress job in a factory or Wal-Mart or something, but you can't pay the bills on those kinds of wages.
A little depressed today--feeling icky with a crappy cold & just generally low--but I do have a question: How do you get SSI? Maybe that's a separate thread, but those of you who are on it, could you explain the application process?
wobbly :cool:
A little depressed today--feeling icky with a crappy cold & just generally low--but I do have a question: How do you get SSI? Maybe that's a separate thread, but those of you who are on it, could you explain the application process?
wobbly :cool:
u2fran
11-09-2003, 08:46 PM
Sorry folks. I am a nitwit as far as Social Security goes.
The big government intimidation factor.
I'm even confused on whether Social Security Disability is the same as the SSI you are all talking about!!
I got through quite a bit of the online app and then quit due to wierd stuff popping into the areas I needed to type in and the 98% probability that my doctor would laugh if Social Security asked him if he thought I was unable to work.
<heavy sigh>
Hi Hoosier! As far as I know, ssi is supplemental security income , and it is recieved by people who are blind, aged or disabled, and who haven't worked that much. Social security disability is for people who have worked a long time, and have since then become disabled. Some people can get part of both of those incomes, and disabled people ,who haven't worked much can still get part of ssi if they start working. It does sound confusing... :confused: :bouncing:
and I can't even figure out this updated board..
The big government intimidation factor.
I'm even confused on whether Social Security Disability is the same as the SSI you are all talking about!!
I got through quite a bit of the online app and then quit due to wierd stuff popping into the areas I needed to type in and the 98% probability that my doctor would laugh if Social Security asked him if he thought I was unable to work.
<heavy sigh>
Hi Hoosier! As far as I know, ssi is supplemental security income , and it is recieved by people who are blind, aged or disabled, and who haven't worked that much. Social security disability is for people who have worked a long time, and have since then become disabled. Some people can get part of both of those incomes, and disabled people ,who haven't worked much can still get part of ssi if they start working. It does sound confusing... :confused: :bouncing:
and I can't even figure out this updated board..
jgurl1976
11-10-2003, 10:36 AM
I work, and have since the day I graduated High school. Ive also always worked in health care other than the few temp jobs i have had. Im a unit secretary/nursing asst. at a local hospital. I enjoy healthcare, cant imagine what else I could do. I am also always learning about new meds treatments etc..I do feel it's high stress and come home crying at the end of the day or cry while im there. Everybody is very supportive though. We also work 12 hr shifts which makes it a little tougher. Ive been there 7 years, seems like forever. Right now Im out on leave due to injuries from an accident, It's makeing me scared to go back, and Im not sure why. I am soon to be looking for a new job due to my charge nurse and AD actions regarding my injuries. They really made me mad! I couldnt make it with out my health insurance, so I have to work. Im not sure how some of you make ends meet but I guess you do what you have too.
HoosierBj
11-10-2003, 03:31 PM
Thanks Fran!
I know I should probably try for the disability, but I keep hearing that a turn down is almost automatic; add that to having a doctor who thinks I am the most efficient bipolar he knows (his brother is a non-medicated acting-out bipolar I'm almost an Einstein comparatively speaking!!)
Add to that my basic fear of failure compounded by shaky 50 yr. old hormonal system and a really dragged out grief period thanks to my friend Lithium.
Maybe I'll try a real low stress (i.e. low paying) job (part time!) in 6 months??
Or maybe not?
Thanks again for clearing up at least one dangling bit of info for me!!!
Bj
I know I should probably try for the disability, but I keep hearing that a turn down is almost automatic; add that to having a doctor who thinks I am the most efficient bipolar he knows (his brother is a non-medicated acting-out bipolar I'm almost an Einstein comparatively speaking!!)
Add to that my basic fear of failure compounded by shaky 50 yr. old hormonal system and a really dragged out grief period thanks to my friend Lithium.
Maybe I'll try a real low stress (i.e. low paying) job (part time!) in 6 months??
Or maybe not?
Thanks again for clearing up at least one dangling bit of info for me!!!
Bj
whiskey
11-10-2003, 04:12 PM
I am on disability I know I will never be able to work again with this bipolar II plus liver disease I am only 36 I think what a waste but at the same time I know there is no way.
bok
11-12-2003, 05:17 PM
I work....and have since I was 14 years old...I did however go on disability when I had my 3rd child and had to be out for a year. I was diagnosed with bp at that time. That was 4 years ago. During the time I was on disability I did go to school full time...I was only 6 months from my degree and my husband decided to leave so I had to stop school and work...at first it was hard. The new meds werent working...i quit one job by taping a note on my computer and walking out....Ive never been fired before....Now I am a purchasing assistant and have been for 3 years. My workplace is very supportive of me and HOW SPECIAL (lol) i am. If my workplace was not so supportive, I too would not be able to work. I also work with my boyfriend who PLOWS me out of bed every morning and drives me to work with him and gets the kids ready and takes them to school....sometimes Im ok in the mornings and sometimes I am a nightmare untill I start up my computer at work and I do OK....or maybe my morning meds start to kick in at the same time, I dont know....sometimes I sit here and stare and dont do anything...sometimes I run around and do a weeks worth of work in one day... :) Better get back to work....id have to stand on the corner if I get fired from here...ewwwww...lol....
bananas2
11-13-2003, 11:08 PM
:bouncing:
I teach HS and it gets harder every year to keep up .. THe stress is awful and the kids seem to get worse every year as far as manners and common courtesy go. I wish I could quit but I can't. We depend on my income.
Two yrs ago I was hosp.. and took practically the whole year off. Hosp. and IOP programs. Teaching was just too stressful at the time.
It still is but I've got to hand in there. UGH
I teach HS and it gets harder every year to keep up .. THe stress is awful and the kids seem to get worse every year as far as manners and common courtesy go. I wish I could quit but I can't. We depend on my income.
Two yrs ago I was hosp.. and took practically the whole year off. Hosp. and IOP programs. Teaching was just too stressful at the time.
It still is but I've got to hand in there. UGH