Ok gang, aren't we all being pretty hard on ourselves?
Don't we tell all the new people that come here that HALF the battle is understanding that people with Bipolar Disorder can't just control their moods or just "snap out of it"??

OK, so two of us go a bit manic one day and three people can't even SEE the light at the end of the tunnel the next day. And we ALL have fun with the creative side of fonts and colors!

We worry about Whiskey when she's gone off the board too long (yeah, Whiskey - it's time for you to check in...) and we try to talk others off the highest of peaks (my lips are sealed I shall name no names!) and the best part of it is...

SOMEone here, at least ONE someone here might be on the "plateau" to be there for the rest of us. Sooner or later they may be the one that's up or down.

The meds ain't perfect. Neither are we! Try controlling the chemicals in your brain perfectly and I'm getting you a Nobel Prize of your own!

I trot this one out for myself sometimes - you're welcome to it if you get to being too hard on yourself - or others...

Grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference

(usually I reverently add "and meds that will work forever and always...")

:angel:

bj,
I love the prayer. I'm going to put it on the wall. With the addendum.
I have a lump in my throat now, I'd have a tear in my eye but I find crying almost impossible.

I've only just realised that I have a manic side. Hard though that may be to believe following recent events !
I am really struggling to come to terms with this.

How much can I expect from the meds?
I am feeling pretty bad again now. Its only been 4 days of depakote though. Was hoping for a miracle.
I think the manic side is actually worse than the depression.

You are so right!! I always had more trouble accepting the manic stuff. At least with the depressions it was only obvious to my immediate family (unless they had to hospitalize me which happened at least 4 times btwn age 13 and age 19).

But my family was (and is) extremely conservative. Very proper. Very "straighten up and fly right".
I am sure that during my highs I was a total embarrassment to them. And, once I was back down a bit, far enough embarrassing to myself. The worst was that my highs got progressively worse over the years until the last one. And I am missing major chunks of days where I was God knows where doing God knows what. Total psychotic break. The joys of Bipolar I, huh??

It has been 19 years since my last episode of mania (thanks to the lithium) but I am as mortified today as I was then. Talk about "accepting one's bipolar disorder" huh?

It's why I love the HealthBoards so much. Even my husband has not Clue #1 what I'm talking about when I discuss my untreated years. God forbid the lithium quits working...
Here I don't have to worry so much.
Neither do you...
:angel:

Thanks,
(stand by me) :)