wobbly
11-16-2003, 09:34 AM
Sorry I missed you, I was spending an entertaining evening sobbing all over my husband because I'm so frustrated with my meds right now. I'm going to make a separate post about what all is going on. Maybe it was a good sign I actually really cried--since this episode started, in April, I have basically been emotionally flat-lining. Recently I have noticed my sense of humor coming back, and crying real tears was a big breakthrough (let's hope not a breakthrough as in "HERE COMES ANOTHER EPISODE FOR YOUR FUN AND ENJOYMENT!")
I've always wondered why they didn't start me on lithium when I was hospitalized in July. I want to take as few meds as possible, but somehow the list keeps expanding till my brain probably doesn't know what the h3ll's going on. I'm going to speak with my shrink about at my next appointment on Thursday. I've been hearing and reading about lithium orotate and am seriously tempted to just buy some, dose myself, and see if it helps. Wouldn't it be a kick if it was my wonder drug?!
How long have you been diagnosed, and what meds are you on? One great thing about this board is that there's always somebody who can say from experience, "I've been where you are and it does get better." Sometimes that's all I have to hang onto. Sorry this is so long, but heck, it's Sunday and I don't have to go to mass till 11:15. (What this disease has done to my religious belief is a whole nother thread.)
Catch ya later,
wobbly :cool:
I've always wondered why they didn't start me on lithium when I was hospitalized in July. I want to take as few meds as possible, but somehow the list keeps expanding till my brain probably doesn't know what the h3ll's going on. I'm going to speak with my shrink about at my next appointment on Thursday. I've been hearing and reading about lithium orotate and am seriously tempted to just buy some, dose myself, and see if it helps. Wouldn't it be a kick if it was my wonder drug?!
How long have you been diagnosed, and what meds are you on? One great thing about this board is that there's always somebody who can say from experience, "I've been where you are and it does get better." Sometimes that's all I have to hang onto. Sorry this is so long, but heck, it's Sunday and I don't have to go to mass till 11:15. (What this disease has done to my religious belief is a whole nother thread.)
Catch ya later,
wobbly :cool:
Sponsor
Dena Doo
11-16-2003, 05:28 PM
Sorry I missed you, I was spending an entertaining evening sobbing all over my husband because I'm so frustrated with my meds right now. I'm going to make a separate post about what all is going on. Maybe it was a good sign I actually really cried--since this episode started, in April, I have basically been emotionally flat-lining. Recently I have noticed my sense of humor coming back, and crying real tears was a big breakthrough (let's hope not a breakthrough as in "HERE COMES ANOTHER EPISODE FOR YOUR FUN AND ENJOYMENT!")
I've always wondered why they didn't start me on lithium when I was hospitalized in July. I want to take as few meds as possible, but somehow the list keeps expanding till my brain probably doesn't know what the h3ll's going on. I'm going to speak with my shrink about at my next appointment on Thursday. I've been hearing and reading about lithium orotate and am seriously tempted to just buy some, dose myself, and see if it helps. Wouldn't it be a kick if it was my wonder drug?!
How long have you been diagnosed, and what meds are you on? One great thing about this board is that there's always somebody who can say from experience, "I've been where you are and it does get better." Sometimes that's all I have to hang onto. Sorry this is so long, but heck, it's Sunday and I don't have to go to mass till 11:15. (What this disease has done to my religious belief is a whole nother thread.)
Catch ya later,
wobbly :cool:
Hey Wobbly,
Yes, I know how you feel concerning your faith and dealing with "brain pains". Gurl, my faith is no longer in turmoil because I decided I could just sit there in my tears and/or anger or give it to God. I know there are three things "people" say shouldn't be discussed in public convo, which are religion, politics and...errr...heck, what IS the other one? But, I can tell you some powerful stories that will curl your hair, if you haven't let Lo'real do it for you yet. On top of all of the ZAP meds for my illness, which by the way, is supposed to be just depression, I was diagnosed with Rhuematoid Arthritis when I was 29 years old (the one that cripples; that was 11 years ago). So, There I was, depressed, Pregnant at the age of 37 (oops), in such pain that all I could do was cry (I cannot take pain meds...crud! Well, I would have accepted morphine) my 11 year old son would have to help me get up, sit down, walk, etc., my elbow was locked in a postion which looked like I was waiting for my deodorant to dry..my arm just would not straighten out. My doc wanted to replace my elbow. Oh boy, sounds like fun, but not right now, I'll just continue to look like Napoleon. The difficulties with my surgery on my right hand dealing with RA left me with a very nasty taste in my mouth for surgery. As my pregnancy progressed, my doc told me that I had something called Placenta Previa. Well, sure...why not? My placenta was completely blocking the baby from coming through my birth canal. Yes, a c-section was to be done. All set. I was due on March 1st (this is for baby #2), well, I started hemmoraging (spelling?). Doc examined me and said not to much to worry about, yeah right, strict bed rest until the scheduled c-section on feb 16th. Sure, okay, all this time with a bed pan, I think NOT! My bathroom was only about 7 (or so) baby steps away. It was more trouble staying in bed with that building under my (_/_) than just taking my time and slowly walking to the bathroom. I bled 3 more times before they decided to take the baby on 01/22/00. I went in on a Saturday night and left with a beautiful and extremely healthy 4#3oz baby girl. She had all of her toes, had 2 eyes N ears, everything looked like it was workin, so they let us go on the Monday. A day and 1/2 later. I'm skipping around so much info, but in order for you to understand, you need to know. I forgot to tell you that I had to take (2) shots in my belly twice a week for this New MEDICAL BREAK THROUGH MEDICINE called Enbrel which was suppose to ease the pain and stop my bones from eroding.
So, here comes my belief. With all of the crappy, messed-up, why me kinna things in my life, and not to mention MY letters to my two children, mom and sisters (didn't write one to my husband at THAT time, have a better one now, the ex made me SICK!)
I actually fell to my knees, crying so hard I had to use my shirt for tissues (I didn't think the darkness would sneak up on me again so quickly, I didn't have anything handy to wipe up the tears of despair)
Oh CRUDE, I remember reading on this site that I cannot comment on certain topics, or maybe bring people down, BUT THERE IS A RAINBOW AT THE END OF THE STORY. Is there a way I can finish without breaking the rules? I have to go right now, I need to go practice some tunes at church for our Christmas presentation thingie. 4:00 practice, 5:00 study, 6:00 service, 7:00 bring son's friend home, then I'll be home at 'bout 8:00.
Man, if I would have known about this site, heck, my long ole story could have been told in increments of at least 3....hahahaha instead of this long boring novel. Be back (literally in 2N2). Oh, I'm central time. It's 3:30 now.
I've always wondered why they didn't start me on lithium when I was hospitalized in July. I want to take as few meds as possible, but somehow the list keeps expanding till my brain probably doesn't know what the h3ll's going on. I'm going to speak with my shrink about at my next appointment on Thursday. I've been hearing and reading about lithium orotate and am seriously tempted to just buy some, dose myself, and see if it helps. Wouldn't it be a kick if it was my wonder drug?!
How long have you been diagnosed, and what meds are you on? One great thing about this board is that there's always somebody who can say from experience, "I've been where you are and it does get better." Sometimes that's all I have to hang onto. Sorry this is so long, but heck, it's Sunday and I don't have to go to mass till 11:15. (What this disease has done to my religious belief is a whole nother thread.)
Catch ya later,
wobbly :cool:
Hey Wobbly,
Yes, I know how you feel concerning your faith and dealing with "brain pains". Gurl, my faith is no longer in turmoil because I decided I could just sit there in my tears and/or anger or give it to God. I know there are three things "people" say shouldn't be discussed in public convo, which are religion, politics and...errr...heck, what IS the other one? But, I can tell you some powerful stories that will curl your hair, if you haven't let Lo'real do it for you yet. On top of all of the ZAP meds for my illness, which by the way, is supposed to be just depression, I was diagnosed with Rhuematoid Arthritis when I was 29 years old (the one that cripples; that was 11 years ago). So, There I was, depressed, Pregnant at the age of 37 (oops), in such pain that all I could do was cry (I cannot take pain meds...crud! Well, I would have accepted morphine) my 11 year old son would have to help me get up, sit down, walk, etc., my elbow was locked in a postion which looked like I was waiting for my deodorant to dry..my arm just would not straighten out. My doc wanted to replace my elbow. Oh boy, sounds like fun, but not right now, I'll just continue to look like Napoleon. The difficulties with my surgery on my right hand dealing with RA left me with a very nasty taste in my mouth for surgery. As my pregnancy progressed, my doc told me that I had something called Placenta Previa. Well, sure...why not? My placenta was completely blocking the baby from coming through my birth canal. Yes, a c-section was to be done. All set. I was due on March 1st (this is for baby #2), well, I started hemmoraging (spelling?). Doc examined me and said not to much to worry about, yeah right, strict bed rest until the scheduled c-section on feb 16th. Sure, okay, all this time with a bed pan, I think NOT! My bathroom was only about 7 (or so) baby steps away. It was more trouble staying in bed with that building under my (_/_) than just taking my time and slowly walking to the bathroom. I bled 3 more times before they decided to take the baby on 01/22/00. I went in on a Saturday night and left with a beautiful and extremely healthy 4#3oz baby girl. She had all of her toes, had 2 eyes N ears, everything looked like it was workin, so they let us go on the Monday. A day and 1/2 later. I'm skipping around so much info, but in order for you to understand, you need to know. I forgot to tell you that I had to take (2) shots in my belly twice a week for this New MEDICAL BREAK THROUGH MEDICINE called Enbrel which was suppose to ease the pain and stop my bones from eroding.
So, here comes my belief. With all of the crappy, messed-up, why me kinna things in my life, and not to mention MY letters to my two children, mom and sisters (didn't write one to my husband at THAT time, have a better one now, the ex made me SICK!)
I actually fell to my knees, crying so hard I had to use my shirt for tissues (I didn't think the darkness would sneak up on me again so quickly, I didn't have anything handy to wipe up the tears of despair)
Oh CRUDE, I remember reading on this site that I cannot comment on certain topics, or maybe bring people down, BUT THERE IS A RAINBOW AT THE END OF THE STORY. Is there a way I can finish without breaking the rules? I have to go right now, I need to go practice some tunes at church for our Christmas presentation thingie. 4:00 practice, 5:00 study, 6:00 service, 7:00 bring son's friend home, then I'll be home at 'bout 8:00.
Man, if I would have known about this site, heck, my long ole story could have been told in increments of at least 3....hahahaha instead of this long boring novel. Be back (literally in 2N2). Oh, I'm central time. It's 3:30 now.
Dena Doo
11-16-2003, 05:29 PM
Oh sorry. C'ya,
Dena Doo :jester:
Dena Doo :jester:
wobbly
11-16-2003, 08:35 PM
I can understand your frustration with the RA--my mom and cousin both have it. My cousin's doing Enbrel, mom's on acetazolamide. Mom's got the golf ball knuckles, pool ball elbows, wandering toes, etc. She's had surgery on both feet which her doc said would only last a while and then she'll have to have it again. One of my best friends has RSD, and she's had so much surgery to replace so many joints I call her "the bionic woman." I guess I should consider myself "lucky"--other than BP, my only problem is autoimmune thyroid disease. I think that's why they didn't put me on lithium when I was hospitalized. But what's the big deal? I get my thyroid levels checked every six weeks anyway. So the lithium means I have to take more thyroid hormone--woopie poop! I've had my dosage adjusted so many times in the 7 years I've known I was hypothyroid I stopped counting! My PCP thinks I should be on lithium; I had what we now know was a BP episode about 6 years ago, and lithium had me stabilized in no time flat. SO WHY NOT NOW? That is the question I am going to ask when I call my psych's office tomorrow. Wellbutrin is suckin' big time, and I do not need to further screw things up by being unable to sleep!!!!
So that's my sad tale for the day. Right now my prayer is, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!" In all honesty I don't know if I believe in the god I learned about in Sunday school or not. What I do believe in is hanging around good people and helping each other out. That's what I like about my church--that is exactly what they do rather than litmus-testing whether you believe every single little point of the creed.
Sorry for the rambling--catch ya later!
Good luck and good health,
wobbly :cool:
So that's my sad tale for the day. Right now my prayer is, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!" In all honesty I don't know if I believe in the god I learned about in Sunday school or not. What I do believe in is hanging around good people and helping each other out. That's what I like about my church--that is exactly what they do rather than litmus-testing whether you believe every single little point of the creed.
Sorry for the rambling--catch ya later!
Good luck and good health,
wobbly :cool:
Dena Doo
11-17-2003, 12:37 AM
High 5's on "tellin" your psych what you want!! I was silent for so long because, hey, they have the stupid certificates on the wall, not me. I also have a disease of my sphenoid sinus, which is the sinus closest to the brain and also has the thinest bone before reaching the brain. I get extremely bad inner ear infections which have to be monitored. I listed all the meds on my chart (I'm always scratching out and adding on). Well, when I was on Wellbutrin the FOOL perscribed Alegra D. I tell you what, I felt like I was inside of someone else's body! The D in Alegra is decongestant, you can't take that with Wellbutrin!!! My pharmasist told that to me! Bam, in the trash. What's up with that?? Anyhoo, I told my shrink that I want off of the Wellbutrin, so he said, "uh, okay". After I got weined off, he put me on Lamictal. Yuckster!! Too many Zaps for me! Took that junk for 5 weeks, filled another scrip then told him I wanted to get weined off of that one too, he said, "uh, okay but how does it make you feel?" Didn't he write my symptoms down from all the other meds I took??? Wish I would have heard of the perfect term of ZAPS. It gets so frustrating when they get all the bucks, and they ask stupid cr*p all the time. It's very obvious that these forms of medications were not what I needed. Any fool could tell. So, I told my shrink, and remember, he knows my life history, including my struggles with RA, "Is it possible since I couldn't take any pain medicine for my bones, therefore drank alcohol to ease the pain, do you think that the alcohol was making me sink deeper into depression? Because alcohol IS a depressant. Well, this is what I have done within one year. I stopped taking my Enbrel shots twice a week, dropped that down to once a week, then once a month then -bam- zero. No shots. I have absolutely no pain whatsoever ANYWHERE! My RA doc took x-rays (I didn't even tell her that I weined myself off of the shots) she could not understand why I didn't have extreme pain anymore and also why the errosion not only ceased, but errosion actually forming bone???? Two years ago when I had a very bad "attack" of the deep blue sea blues, I was hospitalized. I quit drinking the day I went in, and I haven't drank since. I was always in pain, therefore, I always drank. Needless to say, I was never sober....very functional at work and home, but still, never really sober. I wasn't falling down or anything like that, but I drank until it numbed the pain of the RA and the Blues. Now, the doc is askin ME what I think I should take. Told him I needed just something for my nerves. I take 4mg's a day of Klonopin and I'm chillin. Now I can listen to my little girl yell and jump about without holding my ears and running outside because I couldn't stand the noise. BUT, and it's a BIG but! Where did the pain from my RA go? What happened to my alcoholism? How is it that I can get out of the house and sing and speak in church, and also teach? I fell to my knees with a broken heart and spirit and I cried for God to help me. And guess what? He did just that. I can run, jump, spin, ride a bike, pick up my 3 year old, squeeze the water out of my wash cloth, etc. I do not drink and have never went to not ONE AA thingie. I hit bottom and didn't have anywhere else to look, but up. He heard me. Now, I do, every now and then have a bad mood swing, but not EVEN like before! So, my wobbly friend, you too can beat this thing! Consult your doc first cause mine thought I was just depressed. Nah, I attempted to take away something that wasn't even mine in the first place, my life. God didn't want me playin Him. Uh uh. I diagnosed myself with BPII and alcoholism and extreme mood swings. I filled the light in that dark hole in my life with Jesus. And he took ALL OF MY PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN AWAY. I am a walking miracle. Just ask any of my doctors. They don't know how a crippled up RA woman who is depressed and an alcoholic, can be free of all of these diseases. Well, I'm not saying that I am completely well. But, at least I have the urges to get in my car and drive to the store, as to before, I just would do without some of the things I needed. I open EVERY SINGLE blind in my home so the sun can shine in as opposed to me sunkin on the couch with my p.j.'s, in the dark, watching t.v. and also watching the dirty clothes pile up because I couldn't and wouldn't get off of the couch. Sorry if I'm scrambling around with my story, there was just so much to say. Please don't give up your trust in the Lord. I fell to my knees and prayed and have been living the good life, the straight and narrow and He has blessed me abundantly. I hope not only you read how God took all of these horrible things away from me, but more people that maybe had even one of the ailments that I had. Don't give up Wobbly, there is a life out there just waiting for you, and all you have to do is trust and believe. I wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for HIM. I thank HIM everyday, and so does my entire family and friends. Good luck my friend, remember, there's somebody out there just wanting you to trust in HIM. Give it a shot, but only if you feel it in your heart that He, Himself is the Great Physician.
Your friend,
Dena Doo :angel:
Your friend,
Dena Doo :angel:
wobbly
11-17-2003, 04:15 PM
Hi Dena,
That is an interesting story, no question about it! I got the ball rolling today by calling my psych's office. They said, "Stop the Wellbutrin!" no problem there, let me assure you. Then they said I would need to have my records from my last lithium treatment released to them. Also not a big problem. So we'll see how I sleep tonight.
My zaps aren't as bad as they were over the weekend, so hopefully they'll fade away too.
And one final thing: I am going to get my bible out of cold storage and see if I can make sense of it this time. I've prayed my @$$ off about this so many times, and I don't expect any major miracles, but I'd settle for getting on the right med. regime (you know, "Lord, guide my doctors").
I'll let you know what happens next.
=wobbly :cool:
That is an interesting story, no question about it! I got the ball rolling today by calling my psych's office. They said, "Stop the Wellbutrin!" no problem there, let me assure you. Then they said I would need to have my records from my last lithium treatment released to them. Also not a big problem. So we'll see how I sleep tonight.
My zaps aren't as bad as they were over the weekend, so hopefully they'll fade away too.
And one final thing: I am going to get my bible out of cold storage and see if I can make sense of it this time. I've prayed my @$$ off about this so many times, and I don't expect any major miracles, but I'd settle for getting on the right med. regime (you know, "Lord, guide my doctors").
I'll let you know what happens next.
=wobbly :cool: