There are a lot of questions that arise when first comming to terms with this virus. I have done a little research, but by no means as much as some people seem to have done. I have seen a lot of useful information, but I am unsure about the source of a lot of it, and much of it just leads to further questions.

I have come to terms with what I have and I'm in a loving relationship with a partner who now knows about my H. What I want to do I minimize the risks to her as much as possible. But with all the Q's going round in my head, the safest thing to do would seem to be never to touch her again.

The reason I put it like this is partly due to gaps in my own knowledge and partly due to what I have read. For example:

1. Condoms do not protect 100% - people say this, but why? Does the virus go through the rubber?

2. Can the virus come out of a different part of your body even if you only get outbreaks at the end of your foreskin.

3. What if I have no outbreak on my penis, but do have one on my Butt? Should I avoid making love even with a condom? Should I avoid all physical contact with her if I have an outbreak anywhere on my body, or should she just avoid touching the affected areas?

4. Shedding - I've read on medical pages it happens every 1 in 100 days, or is it all the time. Can you tell when you are shedding - is the itching/tingling as some people say?

5. Self contamination - how easy is it to contaminate another area of the body? Before I knew what I had I burst one of my blisters (it's a man thing!) and the juice went in my eye! Good shot some might say, I washed it immeadiately and have never experienced a problem. That was 4 years ago.

6. Do others with H use condoms 100 % of the time or is it OK to go unprotected when not having an outbreak?

7. There are loads more questions, I'm sure you get the jist...

To all who read this...my appologies for bringing up a lot of things that I am sure many of you have been asked about before, but.....

What are your best practices to a safe and healthy loving relationship when carrying H? What is fact and what is fiction? Your knowledge would be a great benefit to me and may help others avoid making a mistake.

It is a fine balance of managing the risk. At one end it could be to the point of never touching another person, or at the other, taking things one step too far and passing it on, which I'm sure non of us want to do.

Wow! YOu have asked some good questions. I'll try some of them. 1. Herpes is usually outside the area of a condom (base of penis, opening to vagina, near anus), so a condom won't help there. If the sores are right near the opening of the penis, I don't know. 2. The virus is spread from touching the site of infection, which is the site of ob's. If you do not have it orally, for example, a person could not get it from kissing you. 3. You can still kiss her or touch her, just don't rub your penis on her or let her touch it. I have h genitally, and I will often give my partner oral sex while I have an ob. You just want to avoid contact with or near the affected area. 4. It's hard to know about shedding. My soulmate washes his penis and entire genital area everytime we have sex. (We never have intercourse while I have an ob.) So far, after 12 years, he hasn't gotten it. I've also read that shedding occurs very little. 5. It is easy to contaminate yourself if you don't wash your hands after touching an ob site. H is very sensitive to soap, so make sure you wash. (Man, didn't popping that hurt?) 6. My partner and I only use condoms to avoid pregnancy. Yuck to condoms. I don't know, though, if the roles were reversed...it's harder to wash a vagina with soap, would mess up the pH, etc. I think this is something you and she have to decide. Obviously, there is always some risk to her, no matter what...but who in the world wants a relationship where you don't have sex or touch?

Now, as for the rest: please read "Happy Couples," a thread that has just been bumped up. Talk to you later.

Thanks backpacker as these questions and responses were helpful to me as well since I am a new member. You are great! That's right, all relationships require risk and so does life and I want to enjoy life!


Wow! YOu have asked some good questions. I'll try some of them. 1. Herpes is usually outside the area of a condom (base of penis, opening to vagina, near anus), so a condom won't help there. If the sores are right near the opening of the penis, I don't know. 2. The virus is spread from touching the site of infection, which is the site of ob's. If you do not have it orally, for example, a person could not get it from kissing you. 3. You can still kiss her or touch her, just don't rub your penis on her or let her touch it. I have h genitally, and I will often give my partner oral sex while I have an ob. You just want to avoid contact with or near the affected area. 4. It's hard to know about shedding. My soulmate washes his penis and entire genital area everytime we have sex. (We never have intercourse while I have an ob.) So far, after 12 years, he hasn't gotten it. I've also read that shedding occurs very little. 5. It is easy to contaminate yourself if you don't wash your hands after touching an ob site. H is very sensitive to soap, so make sure you wash. (Man, didn't popping that hurt?) 6. My partner and I only use condoms to avoid pregnancy. Yuck to condoms. I don't know, though, if the roles were reversed...it's harder to wash a vagina with soap, would mess up the pH, etc. I think this is something you and she have to decide. Obviously, there is always some risk to her, no matter what...but who in the world wants a relationship where you don't have sex or touch?

Now, as for the rest: please read "Happy Couples," a thread that has just been bumped up. Talk to you later.

Thanks Backpacker, some useful info as ever. Although I have had H for 4 years now I have never really done that much about it except take aciclovir now and then.

It bothers me more now as I have found someone I really want to be with. I want above all else to make sure I do not pass this thing on. This board has been something of a revelation for me over the last month as the medical advice I have been given has been patchy at best and sometimes contradictory.

I am now paying a lot more attention to what my body is telling me, although this is also causing a few problems. Because I'm now concentrating a lot more about how I feel, a small amount of paranoia is creeping in about every little tingle and itch that I get anywhere on me.

With the help I am recieving from this board in terms of yours, and other peoples experiences and reccommendations, I am sure it will all become a lot more manageable for me and my partner.

I have just started taking zinc, l-lysine and garlic capsules along with the aciclovir to help things a long. I'm also poping the capsules and rubbing the contents onto the affected areas to see if this helps. (only for the last 2 weeks though)

Popping the original blisters did sting a little, but if it's not popping blisters then it's squeezing zits or pulling scabs off!! You know men.

I am becoming more interested in all this H2O2 and DMSO stuff, it seems to have really helped a lot of people, but not without some worrying initial reactions! I'll see what I can get hold of here in the UK.