debbie_81
11-28-2003, 01:18 PM
My daughter weighed about 160 pounds in June at her last check-up. She is about 5'2 and wears a size 14 in juniors. About last week I took her to thi gym thing where you can take your daughter, since she's reallynot active and doesn't play sports I thought this would be a great idea. She got tired quickly, but she decided to keep going on the treadmill for about 25 minutes. After she finished she was so proud of herself. Later on while we were changing in the locker room there was a scale. "I must've lost 10 pounds today" she joked. I was so proud of her, I said "Why don't we see how much you lost" she stepped on the scale and it was one of those doctor scales where you slide that little thing. I started at 150 lbs... 160... 170... What she weighed more than 170?!? She ended up weighing 179 lbs (really 180 put she didn't want to admit it). She had gained 20 pounds over the summer! As if that wasn't bad enough... The nect person to walk in was an obese girl who obviously also just finished working out with her mom. My daughter peeked at the scale as she stepped on. She thought that seeing someone who weighed more than her would cheer her up... but now that girl had weighed my daighter's origanal 160 lbs. My daughter has really lost confidence. Just 6 days later she weighed herself again at the doctors office and she weighed 183. I would really like to take her to a nutritionist but she refuses to. Any tips for a mom who weighs 70 pounds less than her daughter?
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Karen Faith
12-01-2003, 12:32 AM
This must be really hard for you, since I'm sure you know that your daughter is hurting her health by continuing to gain weight, and putting herself in jeopardy of getting diabetes (which has increased in near epidemic proportions among teenagers and young adults in the last few years). And I know you want to help her in any way you can. I hope you can find some answers on this forum.
I too was a "chunky" teenager and my mother never seemed to have a problem with her weight (it sounds like you don't either). She always tried to shame me into losing weight, thinking this would help motivate me. But instead, it just lowered my self-esteem more (I already felt bad enough because I was overweight), and made me depressed, which ultimately caused me to eat even more. As you probably know, there are many reasons why people overeat. Sometimes it's just out of boredom, but other times it's because of depression, etc. For years, I used eating as a pacifier, whenever I was nervous or depressed. But instead of being sympathetic and trying to understand that I had a problem, my mother was always very critical. So for years I struggled alone with my overeating problem. I'm 51 now and finally feel that I can deal with this in a sensible way.
For what it's worth, my advice would be to encourage your daughter by going on a diet with her. This might sound crazy, but even though you don't need to lose any weight, almost all of us could stand to eat healthier. I've had the best success losing weight with a modified low carbohydrate diet ("The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" is the name of the book I use). It's fairly easy to follow too. Once a day you can eat whatever you like, as long as the carbohydrates (cakes, candy, pasta, potatoes, bread, etc.) you eat are in equal portions with the low carbohydrate veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, lettuce, etc.) and meat that you eat. That way your daughter won't feel like she's being cheated out of all the foods she loves. The other two meals a day would consist of meat, cheese or eggs and a low carb veg. People who don't need to lose weight will maintain their weight on this diet, but overweight people will lose. And the best part is that most people actually feel healthier too, as this diet will help stabilize blood sugar, control blood pressure, etc. You need to read the book to find out all the benefits (it's got some interesting stories in it, so I did not find it boring at all).
Anyway, I wish you all the best in helping your daughter.
Karen :wave:
I too was a "chunky" teenager and my mother never seemed to have a problem with her weight (it sounds like you don't either). She always tried to shame me into losing weight, thinking this would help motivate me. But instead, it just lowered my self-esteem more (I already felt bad enough because I was overweight), and made me depressed, which ultimately caused me to eat even more. As you probably know, there are many reasons why people overeat. Sometimes it's just out of boredom, but other times it's because of depression, etc. For years, I used eating as a pacifier, whenever I was nervous or depressed. But instead of being sympathetic and trying to understand that I had a problem, my mother was always very critical. So for years I struggled alone with my overeating problem. I'm 51 now and finally feel that I can deal with this in a sensible way.
For what it's worth, my advice would be to encourage your daughter by going on a diet with her. This might sound crazy, but even though you don't need to lose any weight, almost all of us could stand to eat healthier. I've had the best success losing weight with a modified low carbohydrate diet ("The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" is the name of the book I use). It's fairly easy to follow too. Once a day you can eat whatever you like, as long as the carbohydrates (cakes, candy, pasta, potatoes, bread, etc.) you eat are in equal portions with the low carbohydrate veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, lettuce, etc.) and meat that you eat. That way your daughter won't feel like she's being cheated out of all the foods she loves. The other two meals a day would consist of meat, cheese or eggs and a low carb veg. People who don't need to lose weight will maintain their weight on this diet, but overweight people will lose. And the best part is that most people actually feel healthier too, as this diet will help stabilize blood sugar, control blood pressure, etc. You need to read the book to find out all the benefits (it's got some interesting stories in it, so I did not find it boring at all).
Anyway, I wish you all the best in helping your daughter.
Karen :wave:
Hamer
12-02-2003, 05:20 AM
I think the best way to help her would be to start eating healthier and planning an exercise program. It doesn't have to be a diet, but rather a change in the way you eat and live.
I am 20 and throughout middle school I was a little overweight (I weighed 170 lbs.) and I joined marching band when I got to highschool and after losing a few pounds by accident, I liked the compliments and felt good. I stayed in marching band all 4 years and slowly lost all the weight just from all that exercise. I now weigh 130 and I am 5'9. I think the best thing for her would be an exercise program. She might do better if it on a sports team or something that will hold her accountable. I know it is hard to exercise on your own.
I really hope you can help her to prevent any future diseases and to help her self-esteem.
Amber
I am 20 and throughout middle school I was a little overweight (I weighed 170 lbs.) and I joined marching band when I got to highschool and after losing a few pounds by accident, I liked the compliments and felt good. I stayed in marching band all 4 years and slowly lost all the weight just from all that exercise. I now weigh 130 and I am 5'9. I think the best thing for her would be an exercise program. She might do better if it on a sports team or something that will hold her accountable. I know it is hard to exercise on your own.
I really hope you can help her to prevent any future diseases and to help her self-esteem.
Amber
sunnyripple
12-09-2003, 02:36 PM
My 16 year old daughter has lost 13 pounds in 3 months following Weight Watchers.
resolutionmia
12-13-2003, 05:07 PM
I'm 16, and it wasn't that long ago when I was 14. I am gonna tell you how i felt when my mom suggested that stuff. I felt unwanted, kinda of like she wouldn't love me unless i lost weight. But really I ended up hating myself. I was much like your daughter when I was 14 except I was taller and weighed more. I hated sports, excersize, and I had very low self esteem. That was most likely the worst year of my life, I was the only overweight person in my school, and at times I felt I wanted to die. Don't do anything to rash, but i suggest you do try and get it under control soon, because I hate being in High School and still being overweight. I think you have to feel as if you support her, but don't talk to her all the time about it. When i talk about it I feel like crying, and DEFININTLEY don't make it a family issue. I hated when my family would talk to me about it like it was completely their business. Remember she is growing up and in a delicate state of her life. You don't want her to result to having an eating disorder in order to lose weight. I just wanted you to see my persepective since I went through what she is going through.
MrsLee
12-15-2003, 09:00 PM
I just wanted to add my comments here, since I can relate to your daughter. It sounds as if you are very supportive of your daughter and that is great. You need to keep letting her know you love her no matter what she weighs and that you will help her.
I was an overweight child and teen (and now an overwieght 21 y/o) and my teenage years were the worst time of my life. I was severely depressed, and whenever my mom would start with her "you need to lose weight because you are going to get diabetes" speech or worse, "you have such a pretty face, if only you would lose some weight" it made me want to die. So I would just eat more.
I think the idea of starting to eat healthier and exercise together is a great one. No one ever helped me with this--there were always plenty of cookies and chips around the house. But don't totally restrict her or she will start hiding junk food and eating it in secret (not a good thing). It's hard to find the balance between being helpful and being overbearing. Just keep in mind she is probably very embarrased about it. If she keeps gaining she should see a doctor because it could be a symptom of a health problem.
Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how it feels to be in your daughter's situation. I wish you the very best of luck. God bless!
I was an overweight child and teen (and now an overwieght 21 y/o) and my teenage years were the worst time of my life. I was severely depressed, and whenever my mom would start with her "you need to lose weight because you are going to get diabetes" speech or worse, "you have such a pretty face, if only you would lose some weight" it made me want to die. So I would just eat more.
I think the idea of starting to eat healthier and exercise together is a great one. No one ever helped me with this--there were always plenty of cookies and chips around the house. But don't totally restrict her or she will start hiding junk food and eating it in secret (not a good thing). It's hard to find the balance between being helpful and being overbearing. Just keep in mind she is probably very embarrased about it. If she keeps gaining she should see a doctor because it could be a symptom of a health problem.
Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how it feels to be in your daughter's situation. I wish you the very best of luck. God bless!
HONEYDEWS
01-12-2004, 08:52 PM
How old is your daughter? My daughter is 13 and weighs 200 pounds - she is only about 5'2" also. She had no idea how much she weighed until her last doctors visit. She didnt look at the scales but I did. When we got home I told her I was really worried about her weight and she said "why, how much do I weight?" when I told her 200 pounds she about cried!! We didn't have any idea, she doesn't look that heavy but she wears baggy clothes. I have been eating healthier and talking to her about it for over a year, I have lost over 50 pounds so far. She said she wanted to start eating like me but that only lasted a week and I would see her eating junk. How do you handle this? I don't want to "shame" her into losing weight, I don't want to "emberass" her. But this is serious, on both sides of her family is obesity, I have told her that it isn't fair but she will have to fight this her entire life and she needs to start now. After reading your posts, I am going home tonight and talking to her again. There has to be something that will motivate her and keep her eating correctly.
HONEYDEWS
HONEYDEWS