CammyRose
11-29-2003, 08:45 AM
Hello all.
I have a friend who was recently in a serious car accident. Her and her friend were driving to a Starbucks early one morning when a drunk driver T-boned her car on the drivers side. The drunk driver went through the windshield and died. Luckily my friend did not die, but suffered a fractured wrist, some broken toes, a punctured lung, minor cuts and scrapes, brusing...and....a coma that lasted for a week.
When she woke up she had a memory lapse, she thought she was 16. But she came back into reality and she regained her full memory and she appears to be mentally stable except for one little thing. Before all of this, she and I would talk about our dreams and how she has reoccurring one. At the end of her dream, she hears "You weren't supposed to come back."
She was reluctant to tell me about this next part, but during her coma she had a little girl who kept occurring as well. She also told me that she was pregnant and miscarried after 5 months, and that she was going to name the baby Emma. This little girl said to her that she is indeed Emma (at 8 years old. "Where I'm at...we age fast...", she says). This Emma keeps telling my friend things in her head....and she appears to be incredibly clairvoyant. In the past few weeks, "Emma" will tell my friend things about her friends, family, and strangers about things that turn out to be true. One astounding example is that she was told that her ex boss had a lump in her chest...so "Emma" told my friend to tell her to go in for a mammogram...and she did...and they did indeed find this lump. This prediction probably saved a HUGE struggle with cancer. But it is not all fun and games. Whenever "Emma" says something in my friends mind, her head hurts immensely. "Emma" speaks sparatically, so this happens alot per day. My friend broke down crying the other day, asking herself "Why am I going crazy?" and "Emma" said "Because you weren't suppossed to come back...but you chose to."---meaning, that Emma is here as a mistake, perhaps, kind of a defect as to this choice? I am not sure.
This concerns me greatly because hearing voices is never a good thing. I am a psychology/neuroscience student myself but not far enough into my career to know enough or to explain things. Do you think this is one of those unexplainable incidents where nature/spiritual things come into play? I have heard that after serious head trauma, hearing a voice or two isn't unlikely. Schizophrenia is obviously modeled after hearing voices...and she is at about the age where schizophrenia is said to develop. Is it possible that the coma may have caused or triggered this? OR, could this be an example of dissociative (multiple personality) behavior? I'm afraid for her to see a doctor if this persists. If she can avoid being on an anti-psychotic, we all know that is in her best interest.
Please don't think this story is crazy, and for the record, it is NOT about me. It is about a friend whom I care about very much and I want to help her. If you have any idea what is going on, any input, opinions, please feel free to share. I'd love to know what you all think/suggest.
-Cammy
* Do not request professional advice on this website. It is for PEER support only.
I have a friend who was recently in a serious car accident. Her and her friend were driving to a Starbucks early one morning when a drunk driver T-boned her car on the drivers side. The drunk driver went through the windshield and died. Luckily my friend did not die, but suffered a fractured wrist, some broken toes, a punctured lung, minor cuts and scrapes, brusing...and....a coma that lasted for a week.
When she woke up she had a memory lapse, she thought she was 16. But she came back into reality and she regained her full memory and she appears to be mentally stable except for one little thing. Before all of this, she and I would talk about our dreams and how she has reoccurring one. At the end of her dream, she hears "You weren't supposed to come back."
She was reluctant to tell me about this next part, but during her coma she had a little girl who kept occurring as well. She also told me that she was pregnant and miscarried after 5 months, and that she was going to name the baby Emma. This little girl said to her that she is indeed Emma (at 8 years old. "Where I'm at...we age fast...", she says). This Emma keeps telling my friend things in her head....and she appears to be incredibly clairvoyant. In the past few weeks, "Emma" will tell my friend things about her friends, family, and strangers about things that turn out to be true. One astounding example is that she was told that her ex boss had a lump in her chest...so "Emma" told my friend to tell her to go in for a mammogram...and she did...and they did indeed find this lump. This prediction probably saved a HUGE struggle with cancer. But it is not all fun and games. Whenever "Emma" says something in my friends mind, her head hurts immensely. "Emma" speaks sparatically, so this happens alot per day. My friend broke down crying the other day, asking herself "Why am I going crazy?" and "Emma" said "Because you weren't suppossed to come back...but you chose to."---meaning, that Emma is here as a mistake, perhaps, kind of a defect as to this choice? I am not sure.
This concerns me greatly because hearing voices is never a good thing. I am a psychology/neuroscience student myself but not far enough into my career to know enough or to explain things. Do you think this is one of those unexplainable incidents where nature/spiritual things come into play? I have heard that after serious head trauma, hearing a voice or two isn't unlikely. Schizophrenia is obviously modeled after hearing voices...and she is at about the age where schizophrenia is said to develop. Is it possible that the coma may have caused or triggered this? OR, could this be an example of dissociative (multiple personality) behavior? I'm afraid for her to see a doctor if this persists. If she can avoid being on an anti-psychotic, we all know that is in her best interest.
Please don't think this story is crazy, and for the record, it is NOT about me. It is about a friend whom I care about very much and I want to help her. If you have any idea what is going on, any input, opinions, please feel free to share. I'd love to know what you all think/suggest.
-Cammy
* Do not request professional advice on this website. It is for PEER support only.
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marcen
11-29-2003, 12:31 PM
I don't think she is crazy, nor do I think she is suffering from multiple personality disorder or any other psychological imbalance. I am also studying medicine, but I don't believe that western medicine has an answer for everything. I have heard quite a few stories of people who gained some psychic abilities after trauma. I am not religious, but I do believe that there is a very spiritual side to life, and one which we can't always explain. I think that your friend's knowledge of the lump in her ex-boss's chest proves that she is not making this up or suffering from delusions. I would recommend that she see a spiritualist in order to talk about her newfound abilities and "emma". Do not take her to see a psychologist - most will only prescribe drugs to try and "cure" her of her delusions.
HTH!
HTH!
Hope2Heal
11-29-2003, 12:54 PM
hi
I agree with julia girl to a certain extent. My concern is when someone starts breaking down and saying "am i going crazy?" Try to narrow it down to the quality of your friends life. Is she happy to be alive and feeling good in general other then the voices? Or is she suffering with anxiety, depression or confused thinking.
If she is suffering and is effecting her ability to live a normal life, she should seek mental health care immedietly. Its all about recovering from trauma and she may need medicine and therapy to help heal both physcially and mentally. I strongly believe in psycic abiliity, but I also believe in mental health and happiness. Which ways is your friend struggling the most? Tend to that immedietly. The rest can be worked out over time.
when i was a kid i fell off a sled and hit my head very hard on some ice. For a few minutes i had clear flashbacks to every dream i had ever had since i could remember. I even told my mom that, since I was so impressed at how i saw those dreams again. I had a mild concussion and soon got better, after headaches. If such a minor fall could trigger that kind of mental energy, I can not imagine what a coma could do. There is no reason your friend has to loose her psycic abilities, she may have always had them and now is more in tune to herself due to near death expereince. You can take medicine to heal a head trauma and still be a spiritual and psycic person. Make sure she sees a doctor with a great reputation even if it will cost more $$. The wrong meds could dull her and make things worse. The doctor will know what to ask and what to look for.
Please keep us posted and good luck!
I agree with julia girl to a certain extent. My concern is when someone starts breaking down and saying "am i going crazy?" Try to narrow it down to the quality of your friends life. Is she happy to be alive and feeling good in general other then the voices? Or is she suffering with anxiety, depression or confused thinking.
If she is suffering and is effecting her ability to live a normal life, she should seek mental health care immedietly. Its all about recovering from trauma and she may need medicine and therapy to help heal both physcially and mentally. I strongly believe in psycic abiliity, but I also believe in mental health and happiness. Which ways is your friend struggling the most? Tend to that immedietly. The rest can be worked out over time.
when i was a kid i fell off a sled and hit my head very hard on some ice. For a few minutes i had clear flashbacks to every dream i had ever had since i could remember. I even told my mom that, since I was so impressed at how i saw those dreams again. I had a mild concussion and soon got better, after headaches. If such a minor fall could trigger that kind of mental energy, I can not imagine what a coma could do. There is no reason your friend has to loose her psycic abilities, she may have always had them and now is more in tune to herself due to near death expereince. You can take medicine to heal a head trauma and still be a spiritual and psycic person. Make sure she sees a doctor with a great reputation even if it will cost more $$. The wrong meds could dull her and make things worse. The doctor will know what to ask and what to look for.
Please keep us posted and good luck!
friend
11-29-2003, 04:01 PM
Hi,
If she sees any doctor, not a psychiarist. They medicalize normal human mental cycles. An effective psychologist is good, though, experienced in helping post traumatic syndrome.
I don't believe your friend is crazy, and I do believe she has extreme survivors' guilt, and self-doubt and sensitivity to her surroundings. But that she is not empathizing with or understanding herslf.
The mind uses symbols, which we then verbalize to mean whatever we figure out. Speech is faulty, but the mental symbols are normal and explain what we experience....IF we figure them out CORRECTLY, then we understand ourselves.
If we mistake the meanings, we can feel crazy and out of control, and can act crazy.
From my childhood trauma and an accident, I was also considered to be psychic by many people, and I also experienced disturbing reoccurring dreams through my childhood. I heard voices asking me things like, "why are YOU smiling?", and I was extremely self-conscious, with suicidal tendencies. I saw no outward reason why I would be like that.
A psychiatrist and other doctors offered me drugs, to "squelch" my psyche, which I tried for a time, then stopped taking because they had a numbing effect.
In my forties, I went into psychotherapy for all of this, and dealt with my childhood and the accident trauma, and still had dreams, but I started to try to understand the symbols in my mind. For instance, "people chasing me" became clearly the feeling of not having control over the adults that abused me, and many other symbols began to make sense.
A few years later, I even discovered where that "voice" came from...while showing my driver's license picture to my older brother, he said, there you are with that smirk! I was stunned, because I had merely tried to look pleasant with a smile for the picture. It turned out that he, being seven when I was born, was jealous and had thought when I smiled, that I was smirking at him for taking attention from him. How very sad that he felt so displaced and no one helped him with it, and that I took his reaction personally, as if there was something wrong with my very existence.
That is just part of the long story of things that affected me, to show you how things stored in the mind can be stirred up by trauma, and get all mixed up. But they can also be sorted out and put in their proper place in the mind, such as that she has the right to live as long as she can, even though someone else died.
From my own experience, that girl in your friend's mind could be herself, if she felt bad for being alive as a girl. I often saw myself as a child in my nightmares that became only dreams as I began to gain empathy for myself as a little girl.
Psychotherapy made all the difference for me, because my confusion was so entrenched. I am fine now, not self-destructive, but still very sensitive to what goes on around me, and I have hunches that seem psychic to other people. But I am not psychic, I am just very aware and I pay attention to details that most people don't notice.
I think your friend needs encouraged that she is not crazy, that though she was traumatized that she can recover. She will always be more sensitive to her surroundings, though, after that incident. That is normal for what she went through.
Don't allow her to continue to believe she is now somehow abnormal.
If she sees any doctor, not a psychiarist. They medicalize normal human mental cycles. An effective psychologist is good, though, experienced in helping post traumatic syndrome.
I don't believe your friend is crazy, and I do believe she has extreme survivors' guilt, and self-doubt and sensitivity to her surroundings. But that she is not empathizing with or understanding herslf.
The mind uses symbols, which we then verbalize to mean whatever we figure out. Speech is faulty, but the mental symbols are normal and explain what we experience....IF we figure them out CORRECTLY, then we understand ourselves.
If we mistake the meanings, we can feel crazy and out of control, and can act crazy.
From my childhood trauma and an accident, I was also considered to be psychic by many people, and I also experienced disturbing reoccurring dreams through my childhood. I heard voices asking me things like, "why are YOU smiling?", and I was extremely self-conscious, with suicidal tendencies. I saw no outward reason why I would be like that.
A psychiatrist and other doctors offered me drugs, to "squelch" my psyche, which I tried for a time, then stopped taking because they had a numbing effect.
In my forties, I went into psychotherapy for all of this, and dealt with my childhood and the accident trauma, and still had dreams, but I started to try to understand the symbols in my mind. For instance, "people chasing me" became clearly the feeling of not having control over the adults that abused me, and many other symbols began to make sense.
A few years later, I even discovered where that "voice" came from...while showing my driver's license picture to my older brother, he said, there you are with that smirk! I was stunned, because I had merely tried to look pleasant with a smile for the picture. It turned out that he, being seven when I was born, was jealous and had thought when I smiled, that I was smirking at him for taking attention from him. How very sad that he felt so displaced and no one helped him with it, and that I took his reaction personally, as if there was something wrong with my very existence.
That is just part of the long story of things that affected me, to show you how things stored in the mind can be stirred up by trauma, and get all mixed up. But they can also be sorted out and put in their proper place in the mind, such as that she has the right to live as long as she can, even though someone else died.
From my own experience, that girl in your friend's mind could be herself, if she felt bad for being alive as a girl. I often saw myself as a child in my nightmares that became only dreams as I began to gain empathy for myself as a little girl.
Psychotherapy made all the difference for me, because my confusion was so entrenched. I am fine now, not self-destructive, but still very sensitive to what goes on around me, and I have hunches that seem psychic to other people. But I am not psychic, I am just very aware and I pay attention to details that most people don't notice.
I think your friend needs encouraged that she is not crazy, that though she was traumatized that she can recover. She will always be more sensitive to her surroundings, though, after that incident. That is normal for what she went through.
Don't allow her to continue to believe she is now somehow abnormal.
jamesk
11-29-2003, 04:23 PM
i dont know much about this subject but i do got an open mind. if ppl dont beleave her and think she is crazy.they are crazy. there are things in life that we cant explain. i just hope that everything works out for your friend.. i say just go with the flow. if you look for a answer then you wont find one. dont try to figer it out .you will understand it would the time is right. maybe you can do some good with this and maybe thats why your friend gots it .good luck
CammyRose
11-29-2003, 05:21 PM
Moderator: Whoops! I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Julia: Thankyou for your spiritualist reccomendation. Do you have any tips as to how to find one?
Hope: She appears to be alive and well, except for the voices. No depression or anxiety. If there is any anxiety, it is from her confusion as to why she's experiencing this. The news about others clearly upsets her when it is not good. Even if my friend is walking in public or at work or something like that, Emma will say something like "See that man over there? He doesn't even know that he has cancer yet...." and whenever she receives news, her head does hurt. I don't know for how long though, whether it is just a few seconds or minutes or an entire half hour or what. I guess one of the most unsettling things she's had to encounter with Emma is that Emma will tell her what will happen to people that are close to her, and she doesn't want to know all of this. I asked her what the communication is like and she said that sometimes Emma just says things, and at others, she closes her eyes while Emma narrarates and she can see visuals. Emma sometimes doesn't show my friend what she really wants to see.
Friend: Wow, that is a pretty amazing story. I can't believe that you've still had to encounter this in your 40's even. My friend is between her late teen years and into her early 20's. Those meds are VERY dangerous and they almost steal the soul for the drastic effects that they have. I'm glad you didn't stay on them for long, and thats exactly the reason I don't want her to be on them. She fears that if this gets too out of control she might have to tell someone (doctor, psychologist, etc) and she's afraid she'd be committed. I am so glad you are ok, and I know she's not crazy, that's the first thing I told her. :)
James: Open minded people...there's not many of us left in the world. Thank you for your concern. :)
Thank you guys SO much. This is the first time I've had to deal with something like this and it really baffled me. Much love to all. ;)
Cammy
Julia: Thankyou for your spiritualist reccomendation. Do you have any tips as to how to find one?
Hope: She appears to be alive and well, except for the voices. No depression or anxiety. If there is any anxiety, it is from her confusion as to why she's experiencing this. The news about others clearly upsets her when it is not good. Even if my friend is walking in public or at work or something like that, Emma will say something like "See that man over there? He doesn't even know that he has cancer yet...." and whenever she receives news, her head does hurt. I don't know for how long though, whether it is just a few seconds or minutes or an entire half hour or what. I guess one of the most unsettling things she's had to encounter with Emma is that Emma will tell her what will happen to people that are close to her, and she doesn't want to know all of this. I asked her what the communication is like and she said that sometimes Emma just says things, and at others, she closes her eyes while Emma narrarates and she can see visuals. Emma sometimes doesn't show my friend what she really wants to see.
Friend: Wow, that is a pretty amazing story. I can't believe that you've still had to encounter this in your 40's even. My friend is between her late teen years and into her early 20's. Those meds are VERY dangerous and they almost steal the soul for the drastic effects that they have. I'm glad you didn't stay on them for long, and thats exactly the reason I don't want her to be on them. She fears that if this gets too out of control she might have to tell someone (doctor, psychologist, etc) and she's afraid she'd be committed. I am so glad you are ok, and I know she's not crazy, that's the first thing I told her. :)
James: Open minded people...there's not many of us left in the world. Thank you for your concern. :)
Thank you guys SO much. This is the first time I've had to deal with something like this and it really baffled me. Much love to all. ;)
Cammy
jamesk
11-29-2003, 05:37 PM
just wanted to say i like the way you answered everyone like you did.keep us posted . i love hearing theses storys true or not. i just wish i could have one of my own to tell good luck again also one day i want to learn more about this type of thing somehow. it is very interresting. i dont mean to be rude b/c i know it is very hard for your friend. i just have a intrest in this type of thing
jamesk
12-01-2003, 09:05 AM
just wanted to say good luck again
friend
12-02-2003, 10:03 PM
quote
Friend: Wow, that is a pretty amazing story. I can't believe that you've still had to encounter this in your 40's even. My friend is between her late teen years and into her early 20's. Those meds are VERY dangerous and they almost steal the soul for the drastic effects that they have. I'm glad you didn't stay on them for long, and thats exactly the reason I don't want her to be on them. She fears that if this gets too out of control she might have to tell someone (doctor, psychologist, etc) and she's afraid she'd be committed. I am so glad you are ok, and I know she's not crazy, that's the first thing I told her. :)
quote
Cammyrose
Your friend does need to talk to someone. The trauma is distorted in her mind, and she won't get over it until she talks it through to an objective person. She doesn't have to talk about the girl or the voices. She can talk about the fears and the doubts and the trauma. Better if it is a psychologist of her own choosing, experienced in post traumatic stress disorder. That is why I didn't get over it for so long. It was all stuffed inside like a beach ball held under water, popping out when I least expected it.
But she herself has to want to get well, even if it means the girl might disappear if she realizes the girl is not helping her.
For me, I wanted to let my little girl grow up, so I did.
That part of me always will be there, but is not so damaged.
I retained the sensitivity to my surroundings. Sorry if I repeated anything.
Recovery takes courage. It isn't easy, but there are safe people to do that work with.
Friend: Wow, that is a pretty amazing story. I can't believe that you've still had to encounter this in your 40's even. My friend is between her late teen years and into her early 20's. Those meds are VERY dangerous and they almost steal the soul for the drastic effects that they have. I'm glad you didn't stay on them for long, and thats exactly the reason I don't want her to be on them. She fears that if this gets too out of control she might have to tell someone (doctor, psychologist, etc) and she's afraid she'd be committed. I am so glad you are ok, and I know she's not crazy, that's the first thing I told her. :)
quote
Cammyrose
Your friend does need to talk to someone. The trauma is distorted in her mind, and she won't get over it until she talks it through to an objective person. She doesn't have to talk about the girl or the voices. She can talk about the fears and the doubts and the trauma. Better if it is a psychologist of her own choosing, experienced in post traumatic stress disorder. That is why I didn't get over it for so long. It was all stuffed inside like a beach ball held under water, popping out when I least expected it.
But she herself has to want to get well, even if it means the girl might disappear if she realizes the girl is not helping her.
For me, I wanted to let my little girl grow up, so I did.
That part of me always will be there, but is not so damaged.
I retained the sensitivity to my surroundings. Sorry if I repeated anything.
Recovery takes courage. It isn't easy, but there are safe people to do that work with.
jamesk
01-03-2004, 12:26 PM
hope everything is going ok
april_dawn
01-04-2004, 02:06 AM
I think hers is an amazing story, but not altogether uncommon. I'm very scientific, have worked in the health field, but at the same time, I'm very spiritual. When you think about it, we all are psychic to one extent or another. Look at many womens "Ovarian Tracking System", or knowing exactly when a loved one is hurt, or that feeling that something is off when you leave a candle burning at home. I have little flashes like that all the time. Mostly in me knowing where things are 90% of the time.
As for Emma speaking to her, I thouroughly believe that. Perhaps the immense pain she gets from it is because of her feelings of guilt? As far as I can tell, having any kind of abilities like that can be both a blessing and a curse. In the case of her ex-boss, perhaps it will be a blessing. In other cases, it may not. Instead of sending her to a pysciatrist, or a medical doctor, I would almost recomend sending her to a spiritual healer. As wonky as it may sound, there is a lot to be said of blue light and chakra's. I think of it this way.....many medical doctors will write her off as being insane, drug her up, make her feel "normal" when she is surpressing a natural instinct. Any local new age store will definatly have information where she can find someone who can help her. Not so much to cure her, but more to help her understand what she is dealing with, and how to handle things that she may hear. Also, I'm a firm believer that we create our futures. Assure her that not everything Emma tells her is going to be accurate. Foretelling the future is never precise, and is interpreted the way you want it to be.
I wish you and her the best of luck in dealing with it. Its never going to leave her now that she has it, but I'm sure she will learn to control it, and perhaps, even be able to get joy out of speaking to her daughter.
April
As for Emma speaking to her, I thouroughly believe that. Perhaps the immense pain she gets from it is because of her feelings of guilt? As far as I can tell, having any kind of abilities like that can be both a blessing and a curse. In the case of her ex-boss, perhaps it will be a blessing. In other cases, it may not. Instead of sending her to a pysciatrist, or a medical doctor, I would almost recomend sending her to a spiritual healer. As wonky as it may sound, there is a lot to be said of blue light and chakra's. I think of it this way.....many medical doctors will write her off as being insane, drug her up, make her feel "normal" when she is surpressing a natural instinct. Any local new age store will definatly have information where she can find someone who can help her. Not so much to cure her, but more to help her understand what she is dealing with, and how to handle things that she may hear. Also, I'm a firm believer that we create our futures. Assure her that not everything Emma tells her is going to be accurate. Foretelling the future is never precise, and is interpreted the way you want it to be.
I wish you and her the best of luck in dealing with it. Its never going to leave her now that she has it, but I'm sure she will learn to control it, and perhaps, even be able to get joy out of speaking to her daughter.
April
annie7
01-04-2004, 04:45 PM
Friend, you did a good job communicating things that can be very difficult. We would like to have one specific answer to sometimes very difficult questions of "why"; and usually there isn't one specific reason why things happen the way they happen.
I do, however, believe strongly in a spiritual realm because I have experienced it many times. I believe that God is good and that God is the author of Life. I had a real 'check' in me when Cammy said that her friend had a message of "you're not supposed to be here." Whatever the cause or author of that message, there is a big, red flag that goes up in my mind. It didn't ring true to me. Perhaps it is a guilt oriented message, in any case, it's not truth.
Cammy, I'm touched that you care for your friend. I hope and do believe that your friend will find peace.
I do, however, believe strongly in a spiritual realm because I have experienced it many times. I believe that God is good and that God is the author of Life. I had a real 'check' in me when Cammy said that her friend had a message of "you're not supposed to be here." Whatever the cause or author of that message, there is a big, red flag that goes up in my mind. It didn't ring true to me. Perhaps it is a guilt oriented message, in any case, it's not truth.
Cammy, I'm touched that you care for your friend. I hope and do believe that your friend will find peace.