(I updated this. Nothing major.)
Im 19 and have had unprotected sex with 5 different people. Out of those 5 people, only 2 did I actually have full intercourse with. The other 3 men only inserted themselves for 30-35 seconds (tops) then pulled out. I still consider that unprotected sex, though. However, out of the 3 men that had pulled out, I ended up getting genital herpes (as that only takes genital contact to contract) and am (with no doubt) aware that I am not invisible to todays fast spreading std's. Also, Out of the following 5 men, one of the cases was a rape when I was 14 and I knew nothing about the man. However, I had performed orally, unprotected, on a good number of men, aside from the one's I had unprotected encounters with. Now Im in a long term relationship with a man who I plan on becomming married to (we are already living together) and therefore we don't use protection and haven't been for the past year. The idea of being tested for HIV has always been in the back of my head. I've tried to talk to my boyfriend about going with me and he just wont. He says that he doesnt have the money (he doesn't have insurance) and that when he gave blood last year, they would have called him if anything had come up. Is that true? When you donate blood or plasma, will you get a call back if you come up HIV positive or if anything else is wrong? I get paranoid when I start to think about it because he has had unprotected sex (with at least 2 people) before he had met me and he's extremely unhealthy looking (6'0 and 145 lbs with several bruises all over his body) and I know that it could be anything, but he is also an african american and I heard (please dont get mad at this comment, I'm in an interracial relationship and don't know the exact facts) that AIDS is the # 1 killer in african americans 25-30 now days. I feel bad because he doesn't have much free time or money (a full time college student and works full time) and I hate to think he is just trying to make up excuses. I still plan on getting tested as I know I'm at risk, I just want closure on what my bf is saying. Anyone got any ideas?

You are on the right path making the choice to be tested!! Taking control of your sexual health is GREAT!!

Today, Dec. 1st is World Aids Day, so if you want to be tested, today is a good day for it. PLUS, there are MANY areas nation-wide that will be offering FREE HIV testing. Some college campuses and such. That may be something to look into. And if you can find a place, your BF cant complain that it costs too much!!

Maybe he is afraid to be tested. It is not TOO much money to be tested. Tests can run between $25/$30-$65/$70. If you think he is looking for excuses, take them all away. It may mean forking over extra money for his test, or maybe going along with him, as a couple. Or, and this is JUST a suggestion, discuss NOT having unprotected sex anymore untill you are BOTH in the clear. If, for no other reason, if children are in your future, making sure that a baby that could be concieved would ALSO be healthy. There are many good reasons to be tested.

You cant force him to be tested howevr, so Ill lets look at some other concerns you brought up. Yes, AIDS kills MANY African Americans every year. But alot of that is due to the fact that HIV is VERY prominent in Africa. It is a LARGE epedimic over there. The truth is, HIV is on the rise in women of all races. So his being african american does not put him at MORE of a risk.

As for giving blood, yes they will contact you in some way if they find something wrong with your donation. They may not tell you what was wrong, but that you need to see your Dr. But, that also means that a person could have been infected recently, and the test may miss it. Occasionally HIV+ blood does slip thorugh, although its rare. One shouldnt rely on blood donation for HIV testing.

Like I said, cut out all the excuses, make it easy for him to agree. And if he wont, you can either continue on like you are, and question it, or take control and keep yourself safe. The first step is taking a test. And if it comes back negative, dont assume HE is negative also. He will need his own test to determine that. Keep us posted.