My 16yr old daughter has always been a worrier. She is afraid to die. My husband and i comfort her by talking to her. When she was alittle girl she was so anxious in certain situtations that she would panick. Like getting gas at a gas station and seeing a strange looking person, she thought the worst. She thought we were going to get robbed and hurt. No one could comfort her mind that nothing will happen. Its so weird, that she loves the medical field. She wants to be a Nurse Practioner. She enjoys watching Medical shows and even cop shows. We tell her that she shouldn't watch these shows it gets her stirred up. Sometimes she is perfectly fine and then something may trigger her. What is odd is she gets these attacks when everything in her life is going perfect like her grades, her boyfriend, and getting along with us. In the past month i had to take her to E.R. cause she begged me to.She was so panicked that she was dying, when she was having a anxiety attack. I felt that she was having a anxiety attack , but she also has asthma. So to put both our minds to rest i took her in and she was diagnosed with a anxiety attack. That was the first anxiety attack and it was full blown. She wasn't breathing well (i tried so hard to calm her), shaking, wet palms, nausea, and real pale. I remained really calm. We seen her Physchiatrist a few weeks ago and she talked to my daughter. Medication was mentioned but not really offered at this time. The other day she had another attack and she was alittle more managed, but she threw up. It happens right when she goes to bed. So she has wanted me to sleep with her.
Sorry for this long post, but any advice about what to do with my daughter would be greatly apprieciated. My mom and i suffer from anxiety and we take ativan. My daughter is to young to be on that i feel. I would like her to learn to control this attacks vs. medication. I take the meds because im on asthma medication daily that makes me anxious at times. I only take .5 mg 2x a week on the avg. My daughter doesn't take asthma meds only during a cold.

I've had anxiety since I was a child. My son also has it, he is 10 years old.

I think you are doing the right thing by taking her to get help. People can learn to deal with this, either through therapy alone or therapy and medication. It depends on the person.

I have been to counseling as well as taken meds for my anxiety. Although it never goes away completely, I have times when it is worse and times when it seems to calm a bit. Stress tends to triggor more anxiety for me but I also get it when things are calm and nothing is going on that should make me anxious.

It might help your daughter to know she is not alone and that there are others out there that experience the same thing. I know when I found out that what I had was anxiety and that I was not going crazy, It was a huge relief.

Your doctor should be able to find the therapy or medication that works best for your daughter and help her through this,

Kaytee:-)

I'm a 16 year old girl who also suffers from panic attacks, so dont think your daughter is alone in this. Panic/anxiety attacks dont have to take place at a time when you are paniking, it can take place anytime, anywhere. Mine usually take place in school, usually in the afternoon. For your daughter, it takes place before she goes to bed. Has she ever fainted or collapsed? I have, but I have never threw up. The asthma will make her alot worse, because already when you have panic/anxiety attacks, its hard to breathe, for me it is,and i dont have asthma.
I also visited a doctor, but they didnt suggest any medication either, most probably because I am under 18, like your daughter. The main cause of it usually, is when you have been through a rough time, or in general, are a very stressed person. I think taking her to a psychiatrist is a good idea, because from what you have told me about her, i think that she is extremely worried about things, probably too worried.

I wish her all the best of luck, and to you as well
mightymouth
xx

Something in her past probably made her fear death or being attacked/hurt/dying. Probably the asthma doesn't help that feeling because breathing is life, after all.

The reason I say this stuff is because when I was very young, I used to fear blindness or something happening like eye-injury. I started drawing pictures of our family but only my eyes were X's. This whole thing went on for quite awhile and started around age 6. My mother became concerned and took me to a psychologist, in those days, medicating anyone was rare.

The psychologist, after a few sessions, deemed that perhaps I was trying to get attention with this fear because my parents had just adopted my brother. I was deemed simply jealous of my new brother.

This made alot of sense! The timing made sense. My X's for eyes meant I didn't want to see my new brother, who I drew along with my parents in my pictures. So my parents gave me extra attention, and over time I got rid of the fear, and all was well.

But that diagnosis turned out to be wrong. Last year, many, many years after all this (I'm in my fourties now), my mother mentioned that time of fear in my life after a discussion about someone elses' jealous sibling problems. I sat there and suddenly remembered something that seemed very important....

So I asked my mom if, when I was that age, we went to a mall and saw a blind man begging for money, and if his eyes looked scary with alot of the white showing as we drew near for my mom to give him some money. She said, yes! She remembered that man too, because the sight of his eyes bothered her as well.....

I told my mom I remembered getting so scared when I saw him, and after that is when I started fearing blindness. I never mentioned him to my mom; she didn't say anything to me either; she gave him some money and we left.

All these years went by, but funny how we both remembered that man even though we didn't give him a thought this whole time.....

It's funny, isn't it, how one small trauma as a little child can cause such things? At such a young age, I never even connected that event to a cause of such a fear. And, I had totally forgotten about it intil I was an older adult; and only finally after that many years did I remember that event and make the connection. I think the only reason I outgrew that fear was probably the scary event (the blind man) was very brief and non-reoccuring; I also had exceptionally postive outlook/protective parents who eased most of my childhood fears.

So all I'm saying is, perhaps something, somehow, somewhere in your daughter's life caused these fears of hers. It could be something she doesn't remember or connect to that. It obviously was even more traumatic for her than my trauma because she is still fearful, whereas I did eventually get over my fear.

It shows how things effect children in life; giving them tranquilizers doesn't really address the reasons behind it all, and could even cause more problems since the drugs have alot of health-hazards.

Hope my story helped a bit.

I am an adult that suffers from panic attacks. Mine started when I was younger, but didn't get bad until recently. I always have nightmares about being shot. It's to a point where I try not to sleep at night because it seems so real and scary. My psychiatrist thinks it's because of the things I watch on TV. I worked in the medical field for 5 yrs and I want to go into nursing so I still watch all the ER shows and other medical related shows. I never associated the dreams with what I watch because when I'm watching it I'm fine. Maybe she needs to lay off the shows for awhile. Group therapy has also been a life saver for me because I've learned ways of stopping a panic attack. Though I still have them they are nothing like they use to be. I think avoiding meds this early on is an excellent idea, but give her the opportunity to express herself with others to help her learn about what's going on. Also, continue to be a GREAT Mom. My Mother is the only person I want around when I'm having an attack. She's never had them, but she sees how afraid I am. Even with me being 27 and a parent myself I don't think I could have gotten through the tough times without her. So I give you a big pat on the back for being so understanding and supportive! I wish your daughter the best. Take care!!

Thank you all for your great replies. Each one of your post have been truly apprieciated.
Im between a rock and hard spot now. It is after 2am and she is sleeping on the loveseat in the living room. She asked if i could sleep in there with her. As it doesn't look by this latest episode of her still wanting to sleep with me that we are making some progress. I guess i need to contact her therapist about this matter again.
There is a personnal ordeal that happened 14yrs ago. She was molested. By another woman. Eventhough i spent every waking moment and every last dime to get her the best care i could. Im not sure if her fear is related to this or not. Before you think im in denial i will explain why.
As a little girl i grew up as a tomboy. Tough and everyone on the block knew it. Nobody messed with me. The flip side was at night i would get scared. I would panick that a some stranger would come in our house and kill everyone. Or my dad who was hot or cold with his raging temper would just fly off the handle. I never discussed any of this to my daughter. She acts identical to me. (There is absolutely no volence in our home). My other worse fear at her age to be home alone or drive alone. She has all those. Again without me every mentioning them. I snapped out of all of those fears as i had kids. As i feel she will to. My husband and i recently had her evaluated on the molestation issue and it came back that she doesn't remember much of it. She was 2 at the time. Eventhough i am sick about even talking about this. I have learned to deal with it and forgive to a degree so i can continue raising my girls without being angry and upset all the time. You don't know what this kind of ordeal does to your mind and soul until you actual lived it.
I seem to find just as much help on these post then even in the doctors office. So this is why i am being open and honest about the big picture.
Please don't hesitate to write back about your thoughts.
Sincerely,
byrdwoman (this a nickname, i don't collect birds..lol)

Well, it's hard to say what caused your fears....could be a minor event in your life that had an big effect but was forgotten in time, like mine. I was a bit of a tomboy too! I think somehow being tough does help one in the fear department(as in don't mess with me or else!) I don't know, maybe that feeling of being physically strong helps reassure us nobody would dare touch us?

I wonder if things like being fearful is passed down...not necessarily by telling kids of them, but from attitudes and actions. Even subtle actions could send a message and be copied. I don't think this only applies to fears, but other attitudes/behaviors as well. I think kids, although they do become very individual, can maybe pick up some behaviors and even subtle habits of their parents since the parents are the main thing they look at as young children as what to grow up to be....when we are young, our parents are usually the adults with us the most, and we need to have their approval and they are our guide for what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

I know there are times my kids tell me I am acting like my mom, and what's funny is I don't even recognize it at all, even after they call me on it! I am definately in denial. I feel I am soooo different than her, more like my dad, however, apparently some of her behaviors/attitudes seem to have subtly, inadvertently rubbed off anyway!

But obviously, your daughter's experience is horrific and could have caused at least some of her feelings. I'm so sorry for her and you to have gone through such a terrible ordeal like that.

I'm 36, and I have a 5 year old daughter who is already exhibiting all the fears I had as a child. Fear that she will die, fear that I will die, fear of illness, fear of being alone, etc. I thought that my fears were in part due to an unstable home life, but hers is very stable. It's just plain genetic, that's the bummer of it. My mom and my sister and me all have it, and I see signs that she will too. But at least I have "been there" and will be able to comfort her through it, hopefully.

I also have a 2 year old and I wanted to make a comment about the molestation. Was she younger 2, or almost 3? That would make a difference. But honestly, my daughter (27 months) I don't think would realize if she were being molested, unless someone intentionally inflicted pain on her. The reason I say this is ya know how those girl parts are sometimes really hard to get clean when changing a diaper? Especially after a messy poop. You have to take a wipe and really get into those crevices to get clean. It's not comfy for the tot, and it can take a while. I've also had to give her rectal suppositories and rectal thermometer. It seems to me the difference would be the intent. If someone performed these same sort of things with an evil intent, the thought sickens us, as it should. Yet the same things carried out as a daily task, don't bother the child at all. So I would say it depends on the viciousness of the attack as to whether or not it affects her. While it sickens any sane adult to think of it, it may not have bothered your child much at all if pain was not involved.

I hope she feels better soon. My heart goes out to her. I've had panic attacks that I can remember as early as 10 years old.

My advice? Sleep with her. Hold her. Comfort her. That's what she really needs to get through this.

Without getting to personnal on the molestation issue. My daughter was 2 and half. She exhibited a sexual behavior towards me, her sister and 2 nieghborhood children. My daughter went through a 17 session evaluation to determine if she was molested and by who. It was intense. The place i took her for this evaluation was 100 miles from my home and cost approx. $24,000.00. That included after care therapy.
This is just a paragraph of years of help we found for our daughter. It is behind us as best as it can be. You do find peace after the fact. Don't ask me how. It is to hard to explain. The only other pain that could be worse is losing your child. But, i didn't lose my child and she is very couragous, bright, and she is the best lil girl. She came home with straight A's on her report card last week. 2 yrs ago she flunked school. She was smoking pot and had the worse attitude you couldn't even imagine. I dragged her to a early intervention drug program, and got her started with a teacher at her school that handles troubled kids. This was all a process.
Her teachers today don't believe she was the monster she was 2 yrs ago. Clean and sober for 23 months. She is top in all her classes and is recieving letters from Universities to attend. Its absolutely awesome.
I look at yesterday being a learning experience and today is just beautiful.
Thanks for all your kind post.

Without getting to personnal on the molestation issue. My daughter was 2 and half. She exhibited a sexual behavior towards me, her sister and 2 nieghborhood children.

Oh, how awful. You sound like a great mother. You are doing everything you can for her. Just keep on loving on her. I betshe's gonna come through this just fine, because of all your support and love.