Gin79
06-22-2002, 06:49 AM
I miss her so much.........I dream about her all the time. Sure I'm grown, 31, but still need my Mom.
I've had a really hard time dealing with the loss. Me, my hubby and brother were caregivers. My family didn't help squat.....they like to think their one hour a week visit helped, but it didn't.
Not to mention her brother lived like 2 blocks over, grown kids, no wife, plenty of time to at least give us a break. That's all we wanted!!!!
OH, they did help at least once a month, so I could go to my home (was living at Mom's), and pay my bills!!!
You'd think family comes together during something like this, well ours fell apart. I still can't sleep at night........can't really eat, feeling very weak.
I know my Mom wouldn't want me to live like this, but watching her go from walking, talking happy person, to no talking, writing things to me in a matter of a couple of months was more then I was ready for!!!!
Not to mention when she became bedridden, and we couldn't lift her anymore, my back was so sore, and my brother's popped several times. I knew we couldn't go on that way.......we didn't hardly have time to eat!!
It was crazy, all those nurses, people coming to see her, equiptment people, supplies being delivered everyday. Was a time in my life I'll never forget.
Might add my Mom was the best ever.......she's one of those people that even the people in stores remember her, they dedicated a pic w/a plack at her church.
She always did good, always worked hard. She raised me and my brother alone, my dad & her divorced years ago. She had two jobs to raise us.......never complained.
Never was into material things......good woman.
Miss ya MOM............
Anyone that's gone through this, or going through it please write to me......just wish I had this site while she was sick.
On a positive note, I feel she comes to me in my dreams, she can walk and talk.......last time in my dream she told me "it's time to let this go......time to live your life"!!!!!
I woke up crying.............
Take care everyone, maybe talking to you will help you and me.
Gin
I've had a really hard time dealing with the loss. Me, my hubby and brother were caregivers. My family didn't help squat.....they like to think their one hour a week visit helped, but it didn't.
Not to mention her brother lived like 2 blocks over, grown kids, no wife, plenty of time to at least give us a break. That's all we wanted!!!!
OH, they did help at least once a month, so I could go to my home (was living at Mom's), and pay my bills!!!
You'd think family comes together during something like this, well ours fell apart. I still can't sleep at night........can't really eat, feeling very weak.
I know my Mom wouldn't want me to live like this, but watching her go from walking, talking happy person, to no talking, writing things to me in a matter of a couple of months was more then I was ready for!!!!
Not to mention when she became bedridden, and we couldn't lift her anymore, my back was so sore, and my brother's popped several times. I knew we couldn't go on that way.......we didn't hardly have time to eat!!
It was crazy, all those nurses, people coming to see her, equiptment people, supplies being delivered everyday. Was a time in my life I'll never forget.
Might add my Mom was the best ever.......she's one of those people that even the people in stores remember her, they dedicated a pic w/a plack at her church.
She always did good, always worked hard. She raised me and my brother alone, my dad & her divorced years ago. She had two jobs to raise us.......never complained.
Never was into material things......good woman.
Miss ya MOM............
Anyone that's gone through this, or going through it please write to me......just wish I had this site while she was sick.
On a positive note, I feel she comes to me in my dreams, she can walk and talk.......last time in my dream she told me "it's time to let this go......time to live your life"!!!!!
I woke up crying.............
Take care everyone, maybe talking to you will help you and me.
Gin
Sponsor
hyper
06-23-2002, 11:55 AM
I lost my Dad to ALS 16 years ago. It will get easier I can assure you. My Dad would not let anyone but Mom do the caring for him. She was wonderful for him. He lived 5 years after being told of his illness before he died. His first symptom was losing his voice. It was a long hard 5 years for him. Took him three years to even accept that he had it. No one in his family has had it nor do we know anyone before. His sister has parkinson disease and his nephew died recently with Myasthenia gravis. I wonder if there is a connection.
I will check back often to help you through this.
I will check back often to help you through this.
Gin79
06-26-2002, 04:30 AM
Hyper.........sorry you had to go though this too.
y Mom lost her voice first too.........that type usually goes faster though......so the DOC's say. Weird thing was she always used to tell us where the ins papers and stuff were for like two years!! Wonder if she knew......cause her sis died of the same thing.
She even told a co-worker.........crying one day, what if it's like my sister (that other lady told me).
IT's like she knew........this disease sucks and I miss my Mom.....
No one can take your Mom's place, plus we were friends too.
Take care, and I'm there for you too.
Gin
y Mom lost her voice first too.........that type usually goes faster though......so the DOC's say. Weird thing was she always used to tell us where the ins papers and stuff were for like two years!! Wonder if she knew......cause her sis died of the same thing.
She even told a co-worker.........crying one day, what if it's like my sister (that other lady told me).
IT's like she knew........this disease sucks and I miss my Mom.....
No one can take your Mom's place, plus we were friends too.
Take care, and I'm there for you too.
Gin
hyper
06-26-2002, 11:14 AM
I am so sorry about your Mom. I think she did know. My Dad denied it but I think deep down he knew.
I understand how you feel about your Mom. Mom's are just special. My wonderful Mom is going through Cancer for the second time in a year. Chemo has her really down this time. The Dr is giving her stronger drugs hoping to get it this time. She is just in terrible misery. Her face and hands are like on fire. Digestive problems have her all messed up too. I feel so sorry for her. My Mom is my best friend as well.
Take care and time does heal your pain. You will start to remember only the good times with your Mom.
I understand how you feel about your Mom. Mom's are just special. My wonderful Mom is going through Cancer for the second time in a year. Chemo has her really down this time. The Dr is giving her stronger drugs hoping to get it this time. She is just in terrible misery. Her face and hands are like on fire. Digestive problems have her all messed up too. I feel so sorry for her. My Mom is my best friend as well.
Take care and time does heal your pain. You will start to remember only the good times with your Mom.
Gin79
06-30-2002, 02:37 AM
So sorry about your mom being sick, that must be so hard after going through all that w/your Dad. Sending positive vibes her way!
I know time will make things better, it already has. It was 8 months ago she passed, but it seems longer for some reason! Guess since I miss her so much.
Do you ever have dreams of your dad so real, it's like they visited you in your dream? I've had several, and last week had one and my mom sat up in bed and said "it's time to move on, time to live"!!!! I woke up feeling like she'd just visited me. Plus my mom lost her voice & all here I was dreaming about it.
Take care, hope your mom is better soon.
Gin :bouncing:
I know time will make things better, it already has. It was 8 months ago she passed, but it seems longer for some reason! Guess since I miss her so much.
Do you ever have dreams of your dad so real, it's like they visited you in your dream? I've had several, and last week had one and my mom sat up in bed and said "it's time to move on, time to live"!!!! I woke up feeling like she'd just visited me. Plus my mom lost her voice & all here I was dreaming about it.
Take care, hope your mom is better soon.
Gin :bouncing:
hyper
07-09-2002, 01:23 PM
Hi
Hope you are doing well. Mom's Dr's have decided she can no longer take the chemo she was taking. Her skin was just on fire and he was afraid of what might happen if he gave her any more. The medical team is getting together Wednesday morning (July 10th)to see what steps to take next.
Strange about what you are saying about hearing your Mom. My Mom says my Dad comes and talks to her on the side of her bed. I have never felt it, but she has about three times. She says she is not afraid and that he comforts her. Maybe this is what you are experiencing.
Hope you are doing well. Mom's Dr's have decided she can no longer take the chemo she was taking. Her skin was just on fire and he was afraid of what might happen if he gave her any more. The medical team is getting together Wednesday morning (July 10th)to see what steps to take next.
Strange about what you are saying about hearing your Mom. My Mom says my Dad comes and talks to her on the side of her bed. I have never felt it, but she has about three times. She says she is not afraid and that he comforts her. Maybe this is what you are experiencing.
Sandra143
07-10-2002, 05:03 PM
Gin-
When my father was diagnosed, everyone was right by his side. When he had the trache put in, everyone was right there. My mother is his primary care giver, and my brothers have taken the classes and know how to take care of him. My 4 year old daughter could tell you how to suction him. My mom gets a break. My father has a nurse every day for eight hours. When we found out that my grandmother had it, nobody seems to really care. My mom is always over there taking care of her. And the thing about it is that my grandmother and mom hated each other for the longest time. Now, they would be lost without each other. Besides my father, he also has 3 brothers and a sister. My aunt said owns a store and says that she has an obligation to the store. What about her mother. She would rather see her in a nursing home. (Out of site, out of mind). I am sorry to hear about your mother. It sucks so bad to watch your parent go through this. Its not the way its supposed to happen. It started with his legs. It was so hard to see a dedicated family man that couldn't walk. It was even harder to see him want to hold his granddaughters but can't. My mom and I often talk about what it would be like if he wasn't sick. How different things could be. I am so sorry about your loss. I know that I can't help you along those lines, but I do know what you went through. I dread the day that something happens. I don't know what I am going to do with out him. I am a daddy's girl (I have 4 brothers). My daughters are Poppa's girls. Man....
I hope all is well with you and please keep in touch. I am sorry about your loss to Hyper.
When my father was diagnosed, everyone was right by his side. When he had the trache put in, everyone was right there. My mother is his primary care giver, and my brothers have taken the classes and know how to take care of him. My 4 year old daughter could tell you how to suction him. My mom gets a break. My father has a nurse every day for eight hours. When we found out that my grandmother had it, nobody seems to really care. My mom is always over there taking care of her. And the thing about it is that my grandmother and mom hated each other for the longest time. Now, they would be lost without each other. Besides my father, he also has 3 brothers and a sister. My aunt said owns a store and says that she has an obligation to the store. What about her mother. She would rather see her in a nursing home. (Out of site, out of mind). I am sorry to hear about your mother. It sucks so bad to watch your parent go through this. Its not the way its supposed to happen. It started with his legs. It was so hard to see a dedicated family man that couldn't walk. It was even harder to see him want to hold his granddaughters but can't. My mom and I often talk about what it would be like if he wasn't sick. How different things could be. I am so sorry about your loss. I know that I can't help you along those lines, but I do know what you went through. I dread the day that something happens. I don't know what I am going to do with out him. I am a daddy's girl (I have 4 brothers). My daughters are Poppa's girls. Man....
I hope all is well with you and please keep in touch. I am sorry about your loss to Hyper.
hyper
07-11-2002, 11:08 PM
Good News - Mom had a cat scan and it appears the cancer is all gone. I am so relieved and happy that she had some good news. She was so dedicated to my Dad. It saddens me to see her have to go through all this. She will have to have radiation but at least she will not have to have any surgery. Thanks everyone for your kind words.
Gin79
07-12-2002, 04:32 AM
hyper!!!!! So glad you got good news.......it's about time huh! Hang in there, sounds like things are starting to look up for ya.
Gin
:bouncing:
Gin
:bouncing:
Gin79
07-12-2002, 04:40 AM
Sandra143,
Thanks for your kind words........very sweet. Glad you have a strong support system going & that you mom does get a break. It's just so hard if you don't.....like I said it was just me, hubby & my brother that was it. It got really hard cause my man works about 10.5 hours at least everyday!
Things have slowly been getting better for me, but all the time I find myself thinking.......my mom liked that music, or that food. Just sucks.....like you said it's NOT supposed to end like this.
You keep in touch & feel free to email me anytime.....and that goes for everyone else too.
Gin
Thanks for your kind words........very sweet. Glad you have a strong support system going & that you mom does get a break. It's just so hard if you don't.....like I said it was just me, hubby & my brother that was it. It got really hard cause my man works about 10.5 hours at least everyday!
Things have slowly been getting better for me, but all the time I find myself thinking.......my mom liked that music, or that food. Just sucks.....like you said it's NOT supposed to end like this.
You keep in touch & feel free to email me anytime.....and that goes for everyone else too.
Gin
Sandra25_2
07-19-2002, 11:56 PM
My grandmother went into a nursing home yesterday morning. My husband, the kids and I got up to see her today. I feel so helpless. I made a promise to her and myself that I would get up to see her once a week if not more. I told my husband that I want to atleast go and play cards with her by myself. I used to love the talks that my grandmother and I would have. Especially when we would get into the pictures of my grandfather (whom I never got the chance to meet), my uncle who passed away and my father. Its so cool to look at them. I think I just like hearing her talk about them when they were little and how close they all were. I had a hard time last saturday nite. My one brother got married. I watched my brother Daniel (he has ALS) dance with my youngest daughter in his wheelchair. It was so hard to realize how fast it went. Not even a year since he went from walking to in the wheelchair. He is such a beautiful person. He takes everything in stride. He broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years a couple of months ago. She was cheating on him. But, we all seem to think that he found his true love. His best girl friend of like forever. I have never seen him smile so much or laugh like he does. Its great. You know what Gin...I think its good to keep those memories like about the music and stuff. I know it makes you sad now, but you are going to cherish them in the future. I know what you mean about your husband working all the time, mine does too. I stay at home with the 2 girls and take care of them. Lots of stimulating conversation LOL. Its nice to get on here to talk. Its hard to talk to my mom about this stuff. She is edgie right now. And my brothers...forget it..(they're guys LOL). My husband holds me when I need to break down. Its nice. The same goes for you Gin...you need to talk, feel free to email me. Oh and on the happier note, my husband and I decided that its time to try for a boy. UGH!!! LOL