are there other heroin addicts out there. My daughter is using again, i am sure this time, and I just can't reach her, she was kicked out of therapy group, and just seems out of it all the time. I can't talk to her because she isn;t there. Part of me wants to give up because she has, I feel like she has to get sick enough to quit herself. she is not a child. 23, and I can't force her to anything, so my only choice is to sit here and watch her kill herself!

Hello EternalMother,

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is using again. Was she clean for a period of time previously? Has she been to an inpatient facility? Has she tried methadone or buprenorphine maintenance programs? I am an opiate addict in recovery. I have not used heroin but just about every other opiate imagineble.

synchro

you are feeling helpless to provide your daughter the protection you provided for her as a child. you can get support for yourself which is also important. na or aa meetings might be worth a try for you. dont shrug them off. make the effort and your perspective might change. listening to addicts talk about what hurts them, depresses them and just how they are coping with their addictions can be a positive influence in an upsetting time for you. it can be just as difficult for the others in an addicts life or worse. they can only cry tears of anguish and pain. only pull their hair out and want to simply will their loved ones back into an adjusted adult. the most important advice on these meetings is not to give up after just a few meetings. some go to a meeting EVERY DAY! more than this. i wish you could play a more active role in your daughters life but you just cant right now. she is an adult living her life. i really hurt my mother with the depth of my addiction. the needle marks and bruising in my veins. but she lived thru it and has some scars but she is dealing with it just as i am dealing with it. still i was actively seeking it out until the bitter end. my every conscious thought was about heroin or pills i could shoot up on. it is an incredibly powerful urge. living clean is something i havent made my peace with. i dont know when i ever would. i am in a lot of pain each day. i just keep moving forward. she can survive this mom. your girl can change. i wish you the courage to face each new day while she struggles with her addiction.
william

Eternal Mother,
:wave: I feel for you and your daughter's misfortune. You are right that she has to get sick enough to quit herself. Here in California, we sometimes use an intervention called Family Group Decision Making, which originated in New Zealand with the Maori tribe. What you do is get all the family together, including extended family, friends, and any professionals involved in your daughter's life. You then have a conference and your daughter is confronted with how her addiction affects each person at the conference. The professionals and any others (maybe some friends) are then asked to leave after exploring some options to your daughter's recovery. The family then offers support to your daughter in recovering from her addiction and they develop a plan together. The plan is written down and it must be attainable, with family members being responsible for monitoring it, and it must be measurable (for instance your daughter might be expected to attend 3-NA meetings a week and obtain a sponsor during the first month.) Each family member then signs off on the plan and the entire family must come into agreement on how it will work. Being confronted by family sometimes helps speed up the process of her getting sick enough to quit (or as some of us say, hitting bottom). The other thing to not do is anything that will enable her to keep using, such as providing money, housing, etc., until she is ready to quit. I hope this might help in some small way. I know what I put my family through, and the best way I can make amends to them is to stay clean and sober. If you have a higher power, prayer has helped me more than anything to maintain my sobriety. I hope things work out for your daughter and she obtains the gift of sobriety. If you have Naranon in your area, I would contact them and go to some meetings for yourself. It is the Alanon family group for addicts. One day at a time also helps. Take care and my prayers are with you and your daughter.
David

are there other heroin addicts out there. My daughter is using again, i am sure this time, and I just can't reach her, she was kicked out of therapy group, and just seems out of it all the time. I can't talk to her because she isn;t there. Part of me wants to give up because she has, I feel like she has to get sick enough to quit herself. she is not a child. 23, and I can't force her to anything, so my only choice is to sit here and watch her kill herself!

Thanks guys,
i am trying have been trying,I have her boyfriend here tod (no choice long story) Tey were clean for a month and a half, he had a stepbrother die, and i think thats when they started up again, my daughter is seeing a therapist who is an ex addict but she missed that last week, not sure if she will go back.

The only time she is coherent is right after she uses, i think. All just seems helpless now. I watched them go through wd last time after a five day detos in the hospital. Next time with my insurance i believe they would keep her a mont, but she is not interested now, I may check out naranon.

thanks for your replys, please keep them coming, helps so much.

enernalmother, I have been clean over 5yrs off herion I have been useing some thing since I was 9. herion is the hardest I was lucky I was able to quit cold turkey but it took every thig I had it and lost every thing in the prosses. I cried reading your thread thinking back my asdvice have her locked up crule I know but sometimes you have to do desperate things. if it is easy for her to get she will not let herself get sick cuz being dope sick is well there is nothing like it and you will do anything not to let it happen. Goddess be with this I wish I could be of more help to you. blessyou
godess walk with you
Stacey

Im w/ staceyy-Goddess bless..the Goddess is here..pray everyday..
She removed me from the depths of addiction..im a firm believer!
Sorry..to push the spiritual thang..but it can help!
Would your daughter go to meetings?Can you try to get her to her therapy..
its tough to help someone when they don't want to help themselves..she hasn't hit bottom yet..but she will and maybe then she will go for it.
Im an x-H addict..long history..currently on suboxone..an opiate replacement?
Is that a possibility for you..med insurance etc?
It saved my behind!
Sending prayers..
Heather

enernalmother, I have been clean over 5yrs off herion I have been useing some thing since I was 9. herion is the hardest I was lucky I was able to quit cold turkey but it took every thig I had it and lost every thing in the prosses. I cried reading your thread thinking back my asdvice have her locked up crule I know but sometimes you have to do desperate things. if it is easy for her to get she will not let herself get sick cuz being dope sick is well there is nothing like it and you will do anything not to let it happen. Goddess be with this I wish I could be of more help to you. blessyou
godess walk with you
Stacey

thank you stacy,hopefully we will begin this withdrawal right after christmas, not sure how it will go, it it becomes to difficult i will put her into the hospital again, last time, in late setember I did this, had to wait for hours and hours watching my daughter get sicker and sicker. They only kept her for six days, basically detox, then op group therapy wich she screwed up, they could see she was still using. She also has an individal therapist, but missed her appt last week, I will call and ask for help.

Btw, I have read about withdrawal drugs. I do have some xanax, will this help. I would dole them out every few hours, also valerian? any other suggestion?
i plan to lock the two of them up her, and stay with them till its over. I will post and let you guys know how it is.

I love my daughter so much, but when she is on this drug I feel her slipping away frome.

thank for all your help!

thank you stacy,hopefully we will begin this withdrawal right after christmas, not sure how it will go, it it becomes to difficult i will put her into the hospital again, last time, in late setember I did this, had to wait for hours and hours watching my daughter get sicker and sicker. They only kept her for six days, basically detox, then op group therapy wich she screwed up, they could see she was still using. She also has an individal therapist, but missed her appt last week, I will call and ask for help.

Btw, I have read about withdrawal drugs. I do have some xanax, will this help. I would dole them out every few hours, also valerian? any other suggestion?
i plan to lock the two of them up her, and stay with them till its over. I will post and let you guys know how it is.

I love my daughter so much, but when she is on this drug I feel her slipping away frome.

thank for all your help!
Eternalmother
I did cold turkey 18 yrs ago. I do not recommend it. I found out after that the safe way is to be in a controlled detox where people know how to deal with it. Doling out medicine on your own is not the way to go. I realize you are at wits end as was my family but you also want your daughter safe I am sure. If her boyfriend does not quit at the same time, once she is detoxed she will need to stay away from him, too much temptation to get high. There are halfway houses available, I am sure a detox counselor can give you advice. I will pray for your daughter. If she will not get clean, as I read in another post you need to do tough love. Do not enable her in any way. She will hit bottom sooner if no one is enabling her.

Robin

Enternalmaother,
Wanted to see how you are doing. And if your dauter had started detox? I just read Robins post to you she is right about the Xanx. People who do hard drugs or see there loved one going through the pain want help with it. But in my exsperiance it only hurts in the long run. I told Greg the same thing I belive you have to go through all the pain because it I think it makes me more greatful. And I always think about hanging over the toleit the leg crams endless nights being awake and yes it is hard when your going through it you think your dieing but your not Hot baths help alot heating pads herbs lots of fluids even when she gets sick push them candy I craved chocolate bad. Vitamimn B Let us know how you are doing we are all here for you.
Goddess Bless You And you dauter
Stacey

Enternalmaother,
Wanted to see how you are doing. And if your dauter had started detox? I just read Robins post to you she is right about the Xanx. People who do hard drugs or see there loved one going through the pain want help with it. But in my exsperiance it only hurts in the long run. I told Greg the same thing I belive you have to go through all the pain because it I think it makes me more greatful. And I always think about hanging over the toleit the leg crams endless nights being awake and yes it is hard when your going through it you think your dieing but your not Hot baths help alot heating pads herbs lots of fluids even when she gets sick push them candy I craved chocolate bad. Vitamimn B Let us know how you are doing we are all here for you.
Goddess Bless You And you dauter
Stacey

Hi Stacy,
They are doing better, started this detox on christmas morning, it has been about 50 hours. I have been give tylenol with codine3 and xanax every four hour. Yhe codines are gone , hopfully is most of the pain??? They have had a hard time (bf and duughter )seem to resting and calm for th first time since this started.

Afterplan, daughter does have a therapist, they weren't too crazy aout na meetingd last time so i don't know.

I am seriously condidering my own group for heroin addict as there seems to be none, know of any?

Thanks for you concern!

Enternal mother,
Meetings are a good idea for you even a regular n.a. meeting they will listen to you and help as much as they can I am sure al-anon too. Meetings for them to is a good Idea. Therypy was just to hard for me but I am glad I went I did learn to start to change my behavior. I was rageful uncontrolable but thanks to what I learned it is alot better now so I would ask them to try again but remember you can't force them.
keep us posted
Goddess Bless
Stacey