Hello everyone...

I hope you guys can help here because i am so afraid of getting tested. My ex-girlfriend got tested and she says the resut was negative but she didnt show it to me because of the respect we lost to each other. She told me that even her mom can not access her health reports. I hope she doesnt lie.

My story is.. I was with a nice girl during the summer. Our relationship started last June and lasted till end of August. Well, we had sex like normal people but the condom broke many times and sometimes we didnt care about it and kept on going (i know its stupid, but we are human beings). I was avare of STDs and HIV so i asked her about her status and she told me that nothing is wrong with her and her last pap came normal. SO i trusted her because i loved her. Anyway, end of August she went back to her college and because of long distance our relationship didnt continue much. Now its December and last week i suddenly became afraid of AIDS because of so many commercials on the TV, busses.... So, i checked the symptoms on the net and in just 3 days everything started:
Last week during the finals week i was so dizzy for a whole week. I never felt this way before. I was so light-headed and dizzy. Yesterday dizziness stopped finally. However, yesterday night i accidentaly touched
my neck and found swollen lymph nodes on the left side. I am not sure if they were there before but they freak me out. (Actually i dont know for sure what you mean by swollen. You cant see anything on the mirror but when you touch it there is soemething.) So, now i am freaked out and feel like every part of my body hurts and especially the lefy side of my enck and shoulders. (I carried some luggages yesterday maybe thats why?)

Its been more than 2-4 weeks now. So, can these be ARS related? I dont have the courage to get tested. I dont think that i can continue to live its positive. I also understand people who have AIDS much better now and will do whatever it takes to help them. They had the courage to get tested. They weren't cowards like me.



So, what do you think are these ARS symptoms? Its been more than 2-4 weeks now. I didnt have sex since the end of August and just started to feel this dizziness and neck pain.

Thanks in advance

hello notfair,
there are many people on this board that have been in your shoes, the can't seem to get the courage to get tested ones. you need to know that no one thinks they have the courage, but they do it, just like you are going to. we all have a reason to believe that we were exposed at one time or another, some due to higher risk activities, but some just because of cases like yours. i am not going to lie and tell you that it is impossible for you to be positive, how the hell do i know? but i can tell you that it is unlikley. i am not sure what brand of condoms you were using, but let us know so we will never by them as so many seemed to break on you! anyway, let me tell you from first hand knowledge that if you think you are positive, your body will act that way, and so the cycle begins. i freaked myself out so badly that i am still on anxiety medication. i actually got very very sick after the birth of my son and the infection that i got was related to people with full blown AIDS or Leukiemia. normally healthy people don't get it, well, like 1 in 50,000. i was that 50,000. even after all that, i was convinced that i was HIV positive and looking around on the internet did not help AT ALL!!!!!! i was just about back in the hospital because of a nervous breakdown when i looked at my son and cried and cried. i was sure i was going to die, and he would die to. i got tested, and when they took the blood i felt this weight lift. i was finally going to be free. you know, the truth shall set you free...all that....
it came back negative and i cried and cried again, but out of joy. i live everyday differently now, i love everything about each day. i had unprotected sex with 10 different people over 10 years, so you can see why i was worried.
i urge you to get tested, i urge you to talk to your doctor about this anxiety. i really think you are going to be ok, but don't live like you have the disease, get tested and go on with your life.

Thanks for the reply.
I really do not wish to know the test result. I prefer to die without knowing it. Its just soo unfair. People have sex with prostitutes or have alot of unprotected sex and are still healthy. On the other hand me.. first time unprotected sex and i asked her about her STD status before i had sex with her. Its soo unfair.

My question is: I read in alot of places that ARS symptoms occur in 2-4 weeks after you get the virus. I started to date her at june and started to have unprotected test at the begiining of July. My sexual relationship ended at the end of August. (we didnt have too much unprotected sex, but the damn condom broke many times and you just dont think about these things in the middle of making love.) Its end of December now. So isnt it late for ARS symptoms now? Please say yesss

In addition, how come paps dont show if you are infected or not? She got her cervix checked out many times because of her past cancer experience. She didnt have sex for 1 year until she met me at the beginning of june and she never felt any symtoms and still doesnt feel anything and says that she is negative for sure. Why wouldnt she show me her Health report? I soo much want to trust her.

I will go to sleep now. My left shoulder and alll around my shoulder hurts now for some reason. Its like a nightmare. Goodnight

Thanks in advance..

"I really do not wish to know the test result. I prefer to die without knowing it."

That will NEVER happen. Even if you have HIV and choose not to be tested, one day HIV will turn into full blown AIDS, and you WILL be diagnosed, you will be told and you will know when you die that it was AIDS that killed you, so why not be tested now, and find out if all the worry is for nothing, or if it is not, than you can extend your life, and the quality of it.

"Its just soo unfair. People have sex with prostitutes or have alot of unprotected sex and are still healthy. On the other hand me.. first time unprotected sex and i asked her about her STD status before i had sex with her. Its soo unfair."

Nothing in life is fair. But that doesnt make it any easier. The only thing that will help you is to be tested.


"My question is: I read in alot of places that ARS symptoms occur in 2-4 weeks after you get the virus. So isnt it late for ARS symptoms now?"

Yes. Generally, in MOST cases of people who DO expierence ARS it occurs between 2 and 4 weeks. Some websites say as long as 8 weeks, but the one I found that said that was outdated a few years. So even if it IS possible to take up to 8 weeks, you are still WAY past the ARS time frame. It is too late for ARS from those encounters.

"In addition, how come paps dont show if you are infected or not?"

Pap smears are for cancer and abnormal cells, not HIV. HIV must be found through specific blood tests. And the reason she might want to keep her health report private really is her buisness. It could be that she has a history of health problems she does not want you to know, maybe STDs that she no longer carries, a pregnancy in the past, an abortion, or even something as simple as a herediatary problem she would rather not discuss. It is HER buisness only. But, as your partner she should feel free to DISCUSS with you any and all STD testing. Please bear in mind, she needed an HIV test, not just a pap smear and a check up to see if she had HIV, she needed a specific test looking for it. DO you know if she got one?

Trust is IMPORTANT in a relationship, but if you dont have it, AT LEAST be safe until you do.

i think that you are really being irrational about this........
don't you find it odd that you are already acting like you are infected? are you going to go the rest of your life not having sex for fear that the condom will break? knowing your HIV status is as importatnt today as good credit. you can't get very far without it.

the other person who replied to you, Maybe Helpful, she knows a lot about this stuff, ask her the statistics about HIV in America, she can also send you to some good web sites, but i think the more snooping you do on the net the worse of you will be.

like i said, we all have our stories, our reasons for being mortified to get tested, but we did and we are better off because of it.

If you want to know, go get tested. However, don't just assume you have it. I really doubt you do, your symptoms are probably related to something else. :) Anyways, about the PAP tests....so many women are completely ignorant about what a PAP tests for. A PAP tests for cancer, or abnormal changes in the cells of the cervix. It DOES NOT test for any STD's...not HIV, not herpes, not gonorrhea, syphilis, clamydia, molluscum contagium, or HPV (warts). The only exception where a PAP can detect an STD is if the STD has been present for so long, that it has started to damage the cervical cells (if not treated, clamydia and HPV can cause cervical damage). However, a clear PAP does not mean a woman does not have these, as these conditions can be present for a long time, years even, before damage detectable to a PAP will appear. Bottom line is you should get tested for not only HIV, but all other STD's too. Regular testing is just good to do after you become sexually active...even if you don't have symptoms (many STD's can take years before symptoms start to show). Also, even if you use a condom, and it doesn't break, you are still at rise for catching HPV, Herpes, and Molluscum Contagium. Condoms do give some protection against these STD's, but not complete protection.

Thanks for the reply.

In addition, how come paps dont show if you are infected or not? She got her cervix checked out many times because of her past cancer experience. She didnt have sex for 1 year until she met me at the beginning of june and she never felt any symtoms and still doesnt feel anything and says that she is negative for sure. Why wouldnt she show me her Health report? I soo much want to trust her.

If she has had experience with cervical cancer in the past, chances are that she has HPV (the virus that causes genital warts). HPV is the cause of cervical cancer over 90% of the time. This could be why she didn't want to show you her health report.

It doesn't matter how much you love someone, or want to trust them, NEVER take a person's word for the truth about STD testing. It is very hard to tell someone that you have an STD, and ALOT of people lie about it. I always ask a new partner to be tested and see the results...and I also have the same tests done and show them the results, so it doesn't seem like I am asking them to do something that I won't do.....so it is less offensive, you know? I encourage you to do this in the future. (although there are no tests available for HPV or Molluscum unless symptoms are present, so even prior testing is not foolproof that you won't still get an STD).

Thanks for the replies.

Now i know what paps are and will keep that in mind. But so few people commented on the question if my symptoms are ARS symptoms or is it already late for ARS symptoms.

I also want to tell you that i ve hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) Maybe it has something to do with swollen lymph nodes. I am actually a normal guy with a bright future. I really can not tell my relatives and family that i have this virus. (i hope i dont have it) Its impossible... I am really not afraid of dying because of this but i just cant even think about how my family would feel. Probably they would die because of heart attack. Its just my ties with my family is very very strong and this makes everything worst.

Thanks for the replies.

Now i know what paps are and will keep that in mind. But so few people commented on the question if my symptoms are ARS symptoms or is it already late for ARS symptoms.

I also want to tell you that i ve hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) Maybe it has something to do with swollen lymph nodes. I am actually a normal guy with a bright future. I really can not tell my relatives and family that i have this virus. (i hope i dont have it) Its impossible... I am really not afraid of dying because of this but i just cant even think about how my family would feel. Probably they would die because of heart attack. Its just my ties with my family is very very strong and this makes everything worst.


this is the last time i am going to reply as i obviously do not have anything you want to hear. you are obsessing about this. this is an anxiety related obsession. there is medication for this. you could actually feel normal again. but it seems you are too wrapped up in the thought of being positive. as far as ARS goes, the normal time frame is 2-4 weeks after exposure, but many + people show no symptoms at all.

as far as paps go, i do not totally agree with the other post. everytime i have had a pap they check not only for abnormal cells on the cervix, but test for HPV and other STD's. the tests are accurate, even if an STD is incubating the tests can pick up the markers before any symptoms are present. i know this because of all the testing i had to go through with my pregnancy. also HPV is in 80% of all sexually active people, genital warts is just one strain. HPV is a lazy virus that doesn't do a whole lot, but can cause some delivery problems if genital warts are present.

i can't believe that with all the horribly sick people out there that you are CHOOSING to spend the holidays like this. i wish you all the best but i can not be apart of this cycle as nothing i have said has seemed to make an impact.
good luck and best wishes to you

Nyxin i am sorry that i made you upset. You are really helping me since i dont have anyon else to talk to. I try to reach my ex-girlfriend to ask some specific questions but she is at holidays and cant reach her.
I was just checking the old e-mails that she wrote to me here is what she said:
"just came back from my appointment...it was kinda strange yet nice...the
doctor spent over a half our with me, answering my questions and taking samples.
At first I was embarrassed and felt weird, but he answered my questions and made
me feel like this was a normal thing. What happened was that he did another pap
smear and took more cultures to do the gonorrhea and chlamydia tests. He said
that I didn't have any symptoms of anything but that my cervix was inflamed.
And that there were not a lot of white blood cells there." I asked him about herpes and syphilis and HIV and I asked him if he recommended
these tests for me right now, and he said no. He said the only sure way to know
about herpes is to swab an outbreak of it and he told me that you can carry the
antibodies of it without having the disease."

So, what do you think about this doctor. Why do you think did he think that a blood test is unnessary. Do you think the Doc could tell if she is infected or not from the cultures he took. I mean why would someone say no to a blood test.

Thank you very much for replying to me and please know that you people help me a lot.

i would say that the initial problem was that her cervix was inflamed. that is why you are freaking out i think. mine has been a couple of times for whatever reason. they re-did the pap and it came back normal. sometimes it is hormonal changes, or a reaction to spermacides (sp?) it could have looked suspicious for HPV. my husband has HPV but i do not, explain that! i can't answer why they didn't want a blood test, probably because it was a nothing thing. seriously, doctors don't blow things off if it looks like a serious thing. the other person, Poe, he know what he is talking about. why don't you give your self a gift for christmas and get tested, or at least get on anxiety meds. please believe me that i know what you are going through, whenever i get a sore throat or the sniffles i get worried thinking that the test was wrong, but that is my brain, not reality. i think you would be amazed how many people with HIV are as healthy as anyone. the fact of the matter is that no one gets outta here alive.....life has a 100% mortality rate ya know?

I just called her and we had a very nice chat on the phone. I asked her if she is really honest about her test results and she told me that she likes me very much and wouldnt lie to me. She said to me that i should stop checking internet for symptoms.

Well, that makes me feel soooo much more better. I think i ll probably get tsted sometime later cause i am almost sure that i am negative now.

I am not going to worry about every swollen node or dizziness anymore. The symptoms are just too general and you cant diagnose HIV by symptoms, thats what i think now.

Yep you are definitely negative, first of all , you both don't belong to high risk groups, in the sense that you both not sex workers. So, what is the worry about? and secondly, i read from TheBody.com that the risk of transmission with a known HIV status person via unprotected vaginal sex is 0.01.2%, actually i should not give figures... but it says that it will not be easy to get the virus.. just to add on, nothing is certain in this world also, maybe you can try the lottery, it'll be easier to win! (For your case)

BIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG hug to you both, i hope you have the best night's sleep ever and a fantastic holiday. life is too short. hug hug hug hug hug hug :wave:

smear and took more cultures to do the gonorrhea and chlamydia tests. He said that I didn't have any symptoms of anything but that my cervix was inflamed. And that there were not a lot of white blood cells there." I asked him about herpes and syphilis and HIV and I asked him if he recommended these tests for me right now, and he said no. He said the only sure way to know about herpes is to swab an outbreak of it and he told me that you can carry the antibodies of it without having the disease."

So, what do you think about this doctor. Why do you think did he think that a blood test is unnessary. Do you think the Doc could tell if she is infected or not from the cultures he took. I mean why would someone say no to a blood test.

Thank you very much for replying to me and please know that you people help me a lot.


Well, if he tested for gonorrha and chlamydia, that would show if she is infected with those, but I don't really understand your question. Are you asking if the doctor could tell if she is HIV infected by the tests he did? If so, the answer is no, only a blood test would show that, as the tests he performed were for other things.

But, this doctor is very mis-informed. If you have antibodies to herpes, you HAVE herpes. There is a blood test for herpes that can be performed without symptoms, and if you have antibodies, you have the virus.

as far as paps go, i do not totally agree with the other post. everytime i have had a pap they check not only for abnormal cells on the cervix, but test for HPV and other STD's. the tests are accurate, even if an STD is incubating the tests can pick up the markers before any symptoms are present.

I'm sorry, but a PAP does NOT test for STD's, only for abnormal cell changes. Maybe, when you go in, your doctor runs STD tests for you at the same time as your PAP, but this is not general practice for a doctor, and most doctors do not include routine STD testing along with yearly PAP tests (although I think that they should). Yes, STD tests are accurate, and will pick up on an STD before any symtpoms appear, but a PAP does not text specifically for STD's, nor would it "pick up the markers before any symptoms are present". Also, there is not a test available to test for HPV if there are no symptoms present, such as abnormal cervical cells or warts. There is no way to tell if someone is carrying a strain of HPV asymptomatically, it can only be diagnosed after the appearance of symtpoms. That being said, HPV is not a big deal, and doctors do estimate that at least 80% of those who are sexually active, with more than 1 past partner, carries at least one strain of it.

Anyways, to the original poster, please don't let thinking you have HIV ruin your holiday, or your life. It is HIGHLY, HIGHLY unlikely that you have it. Why not just get a test done to ease your mind? I'm sure it will come back fine. :)

it does not sound like she has HIV at all but other STD's are easier transmitted, plus a pap smaear does NOT detect HIV. I don't know why you are so freaked out? If you never get tested you will never know. I'll bet your negative, you'll feel much relief once you get tested.

hello,
i guess maybe all states are different. even when i went to the county nurse some 12 years ago they tested for STD's as well as a PAP, i guess i assumed it was routine hense the reason i associated it with a pap. and from what my OB has told me, HPV, here where i live anyway, is testsed for with a pap as well, but they are specifically looking for the genital wart kind i believe. i don't remember if he said that it wouldn't come up positive if there wasn't warts present, but i know i was tested as my husband has them, i do not.

hello,
i guess maybe all states are different. even when i went to the county nurse some 12 years ago they tested for STD's as well as a PAP, i guess i assumed it was routine hense the reason i associated it with a pap. and from what my OB has told me, HPV, here where i live anyway, is testsed for with a pap as well, but they are specifically looking for the genital wart kind i believe. i don't remember if he said that it wouldn't come up positive if there wasn't warts present, but i know i was tested as my husband has them, i do not.


Hi! :) Yeah, it's quite possible it's different in different states. I really believe STD testing should be made part of a woman's yearly visit....but I guess insurance companies would have a problem with that. hehe

Hi! :) Yeah, it's quite possible it's different in different states. I really believe STD testing should be made part of a woman's yearly visit....but I guess insurance companies would have a problem with that. hehe


i guess you learn something new everyday, i can't imagine not being tested for STD's every year, well, i can now that i am married, but still, i would think insurance companies would want to do it to prevent long term expense.

She got tested for gnorrhea and chlamadia (spelling?) in Spetmeber because i told her that i had problems with my insurance and she was my only hope. (at that time i thought that i have herpes or somehing)Those 2 came back negative. Then she got a blood test in her college's health center (when she went back to her college after the sumer holiday) for the other diseases and everything except HSV1 came back negative.

I really dont think that she lies to me because its not like we hate each other. I just received a Christmas Card from her. She is a nice person and there is no reason for her to lie to me about her test results.

I an happy now :)

good for you, merry christmas!