My nan has alzheimers and shes getting to the stage where she doesn't even know who I am. It really upsets me and I dont know how to talk to her anymore...I feel really awkward and my mum gets really upset with me making excuses to go round there, but it just upsets me too much and everyone leaves in the room on our own and I dont know what to say to her and I can't leave the room coz I love my nan and I dont want to be rude.
Please help,
Katie xxx

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Don't dream the dream, be the dream.

Hi Katie. My Grandma has Alzheimers too and doesn't really know me anymore either. She hasn't said my name in quite a while but she knows I'm someone important to her. I know it is awkward for you to be around her, especially alone. It was at first for me too. You should make sure you let your mom know how you feel, chances are she feels the same way. Also, It's ok to sit quiely with your Nan or walk hand in hand. The more often you visit, the more comfortable you may become with being alone with her. I hope this helps a little bit. Please know that you're not alone. God bless you and your family.

Sweetie

Dear Katie,

Visiting people with any sort of affliction can be awkward. And even though your nan does not seem to know you, personally I think on some level your visit is recognized and appreciated. Just carry on as normal a conversation as possible. Tell her about your day and what has been going on in your life lately, just like you would with anyone else.

Hi Katie, I take care of My 93 yr old Mother & can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't make any diference what or even if there is much of a conversation. The important thing is just to visit her & let her know you Love her (it will make you feel good too).
My Mom can't follow conversations very well, but she gets very excited whenever someone stops by to see her.
Some days she may participate in a conversation, some days, she won't & some days a conversation (the same one she enjoyed a day ago) will agitate her. The length of time you visit can be short enven 5-10 minutes (in fact sometimes that is best.
Tell her about school, the weather, or just that you Love her.

P.S.
It is obvious that you are a loving person (many people wouldn't even take the time to ask what to do). Your Grandmother is lucky to have you.
God Bless You!

My mother is 83 and has Alzheimers. This is hard for me to deal with lots of times, but my 3 kids have a hard time with it, too. Talking to your mom about how hard it is for you to visit would probably help you alot and you'll probably find out that she has a hard time, too. Just spending quiet time with your grandma is important; the conversation or lack thereof isn't. Taking walks, picking flowers, coloring and playing with play-doh and some things that you could do together that wouldn't require talking. You're not alone with your feelings. Keep your chin up.

My grandmother had Alzheimer's and I was there as much as I could be. It's OK to feel awkard or scared, just remember that's still you nan. She might not be able to communicate with you the way she use to, but inside - she's still there. She knows you're there. Just be there for her. There were times I rambled on about anything and everything when my grandmother wouldn't say a whole word for the entire visit. Then other days she would talk about things that weren't relevant - but it doesn't matter. Just be there for her. It's OK, to feel the way you do, and don't feel guilty if there are times you don't stay real long, or if there are times that you dread going. That's a part of it, you just have to do the best you can do to be there for her. I don't regret any of the time I had with my grandmother. That includes the times I cleaned her, fed her, etc. My cousins who never visited her they have regrets. I know that she appreciated all that I did for her. Sometimes that meant just sitting on her bed while she rocked in her chair, never saying a word. Treasure the time and remember the memories.

hello well folks it seems that everyone agrees ...alzhiemers and other dementias are horrible diseases!! but there is a way..you may see your loved one doing some very strange things...like hiding,hording, yelling, calling out, talking to dead people, talking in the mirror to them selves or actualy to thier fried or enemy, they may not know you or think that you are thier mother, father, sister, or brother that died 30 years ago. they dont experience pain like we do because the dont know what pain is anymore....that what this disease is all about...but there is some hope just a glimmer of light..love,love them like your babies talk to them like you do a baby because in reality this disease makes them just that and thats how you cope...if you have any question you can email me at ucdaflydurango@aol.com i am a nurse and a dedicated cargiver of my grandfather whom has alzhiemers and on his way out of this world and on to a more beautifull place.