SciTeach
04-18-2002, 04:57 PM
My mother (80 yrs old) is in the late middle stages of Alzheimers. Her short term memory is shot. She starts to tell me something that happened and can't do it.
The problem is, she is aware that she can't remember. She doesn't understand why she can't. She calls herself "stupid". She'll say she "can't even talk any more". I try to keep it light and tell her not to talk bad about my Mom. Sometimes that makes her laugh.
More often now, she will say "I just don't understand what's wrong". I try to tell her she has an illness, sometimes I even use the term Alzheiimers, but that doesn't mean anything to her. If I say she has a brain illness she says, "but it can't be THAT bad." And goes back to saying that she is stupid.
I feel so bad for her. She KNOWS that her mind is going. I always thought that AD patients didn't really realize that they were getting worse. But they do!!!
What can I say to Mom? I am patient with her...I don't try to rush her, we have even turn it in to a guessing game...usually I can fill in her blanks. But she STILL thinks it's because SHE'S stupid. Any suggestions on the "magic words" to make her feel better would be appreciated. Or is there anything I can do????
It really breaks my heart when she goes on like this.
Thanks in advance.
SciTeach
The problem is, she is aware that she can't remember. She doesn't understand why she can't. She calls herself "stupid". She'll say she "can't even talk any more". I try to keep it light and tell her not to talk bad about my Mom. Sometimes that makes her laugh.
More often now, she will say "I just don't understand what's wrong". I try to tell her she has an illness, sometimes I even use the term Alzheiimers, but that doesn't mean anything to her. If I say she has a brain illness she says, "but it can't be THAT bad." And goes back to saying that she is stupid.
I feel so bad for her. She KNOWS that her mind is going. I always thought that AD patients didn't really realize that they were getting worse. But they do!!!
What can I say to Mom? I am patient with her...I don't try to rush her, we have even turn it in to a guessing game...usually I can fill in her blanks. But she STILL thinks it's because SHE'S stupid. Any suggestions on the "magic words" to make her feel better would be appreciated. Or is there anything I can do????
It really breaks my heart when she goes on like this.
Thanks in advance.
SciTeach
Sponsor
johnemcg
04-20-2002, 08:07 AM
What you need to do first is check what drugs the Dr's have her taking. See If any of them are statin drugs like lipitor, zocor. These drugs will cause memory loss no matter what the press says. There's a press release out that statin drugs help with alzheimer's. tust me it doesn't. These drugs will cause memroy loss even complete memory blackouts. I had this happen to me.
bare4winds
06-16-2002, 01:39 AM
Have you looked at the book " The 36 hour Day"? It's great and very helpful on getting you through the hell that's down the road. Good Luck! Rick
Mace
06-16-2002, 06:23 PM
My wife and I went through this with her father and mother. They tried to cover up and stopped telling us stories and answering any questions with a straight answer. Standard answer was "you know that already". Your mother is being more straight forward with you than they were with us.
This is a phase and as the disease progresses it won't get better. The suggestion you read some books and articles is a great one. You won't be caught off guard as the phases change, you'll also be better prepared to handle your mother.
Don't stop talking to her as an adult, I'm told that slows the Alzheimer's progress.
Good Luck, God Bless, Mace
This is a phase and as the disease progresses it won't get better. The suggestion you read some books and articles is a great one. You won't be caught off guard as the phases change, you'll also be better prepared to handle your mother.
Don't stop talking to her as an adult, I'm told that slows the Alzheimer's progress.
Good Luck, God Bless, Mace
Snugbug
07-12-2002, 07:43 PM
You are so Lucky that your mom can still talk to you.. My mom in her 50's started saying she had CRS... Can't Remember S---... The when she hit 60 and it got worse.. she was still able to talk and walk until she was 70 and now she smiles at her kids when she see us and we can tell she is happy we are there... But she can't think enough to put words together at all... She doesn't know our names and can only say one, two, three.. When I look at her I see my Mom but she isn't really there... She tries to do things and at times I think she tries to tell me things that are wrong ... but it is so hard knowing she is telling me something and cannot communicate... ENJOY THE STAGE YOUR MOM IS IN.... IT IS SO GRATIFING THAT SHE CAN UNDERSTAND AND RESPOND AT THIS POINT... Good Luck
SnowyLynne
07-14-2002, 06:09 PM
I feel for you.I was diagnosed in Jan.1998 with AD.It's not been too bad,as i still think,drive,but in March of this year,i noticed a difference.I saw my Dr.we discussed it,& we made the desision together to change my medication.I am now on the full dose of Reminyl,12mg.twice a day.It hasn't been long enough yet,so the jury is still out.LOL.Time will tell how I do......I am very upfront with anyone I meet about AD.I don't run away,or hide the fact either,never have.My husband is my carepartner(when I let him).We are a great team to say the least.We have have fun,travel,meet new people.Life is good for me,& I intend it to be until I forget!Sometimes people are afraid to ask me questions for fear of upsetting me.I never worry about that,If I can help others Great.I am never offended by questions.
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SnowyLynne
07-14-2002, 07:31 PM
Be honest as you possably can.If she resists what you say,just let her know she is not stupid.I say the same thing to myself at times,but I know I'm notGive her all the love & caring you can muster.Take her places,let her enjoy life Now while she still can.Ask her what she wants to do.Limit any choices to 2 as more can cause alot of confusion,& stress.Stress being OUR worst enemy!
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SciTeach
08-02-2002, 02:53 PM
Thanks for all your responses. I have the 36 Hour Day..it's my bible. I DO enjoy the fact that Mom still knows who her children are, even if she can't always remember their names.
She doesn't say that she's stupid much anymore. Just once in a while...I'm not sure that's a good thing, but...
She's still happy, and in high spirits and that's the most important thing for now.
Thanks again. I'll keep you all posted.
SciTeach
She doesn't say that she's stupid much anymore. Just once in a while...I'm not sure that's a good thing, but...
She's still happy, and in high spirits and that's the most important thing for now.
Thanks again. I'll keep you all posted.
SciTeach
c-norman-0514
08-21-2002, 01:44 PM
the best thing to do is keep it like. i've been through this, but mine was more like, "Patricia," which is my dead grandmother, "will you tell your father that i need some chocolate. i don't know where these people keep their chocolate." the thing was it was her own house. if you have any questions, let me know.
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cmn2005
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cmn2005