I've just had a really huge row with my husband and i feel so bad.its all about money.i seem to have a problem with over spending particularly when i feel anxious or blue but it seems to keep me afloat. it takes my mind off my ED for a bit because i know it wont take much for me to fall to pieces. its like a coping mechanism i have in place along with the bulimia.
I feel like i have nothing to live for today and i might as well give up. Its just so hard some days. the slightest thing that goes wrong and everything falls apart, and I know deep down my husbands right. it has to stop but i would rather be in denial like i am with the bulimia.
anyone else feel like their life is just spiralling out of control?xxx

Hi Nikkita
I can't offer any advice at all, but I just thought I woul post, because it's good to know there are people who are thinking about you. I know exactly how you feel about your life spiralling out of control, I just feel like I can't do anything at all, and that I am systematically messing up every part of my life, and I don't know what I can do to get it back on track. I am just not like me anymore, and I am in a bad mood almost the whole time. I am sorry to hear you have argued with your husband, but I am sure you will make it up soon. At least you know that he is there for you and cares very deeply about you. Anyway, I realise this won't have made you feel any better, but I wanted to let you know I am thinking of you, and that I am sure everything will work out for you.

Roxie xXx

Roxie
I dont expect anyone to solve my problems so i really appreciate your support. how you doing?xxx

I am ok. Feeling pretty helpless because I want to get better but don't know how I can, but apart from that I am ok I guess! How are you feeling today? Any better than yesterday?
xXx

Hi roxie
Feeling a bit brighter today.I got a wake up call today. Ive been taking a stimulant to suppress my appetite but i took too much and ended up being sick and having chest pains which really scared me.Im determined to get better today.I cant go on like this.I'll end up dying.

That does sound very scary. I am sure you will be strong enough to get better though, because you want to. That's got to be a good start! Glad you are feeling a bit more cheerful today
xXx

Nikkita...
I know how you feel about the whole spending money thing...Sometimes I sustitute shopping for my binge, hoping it will just go away.. and then my bank account is negative and I still want to binge.. it has been awhile since I let it get that bad. I have been doing some calculating lately and figuring how much I actually spend on my addiction each month and it freakin floored me! Needless to say I am spening MUCH less on food these days... that is helping a little.. a lot, actually... Taking deep breaths helps sometimes.... calling a friend. STAYING AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN!!! and the mall!! :) If I lived close to you, you could call me up and we could go hiking together! and talk about how much we love/hate food... You are not alone. Have you tried going to OA? I have only been to one meeting, but I lvoe it. A room full of people just like us who want to love and support and help us get better.... ;) I'm here for you girl!

Elizabethspark
nice to know im not the only one then!I was trying to tott up how much debt im in and its just too scary!All these clothes ive wasted money on and they dont even fit any more ive dropped so many pounds!
I know what you mean though. I definetely substitute shopping for b/p.its one or the other ALL the time!xx

I HATE letting myself feel like that. If I don't give in sometimes, I feel like I can't breath and my insides get really tight and I have a panic attack. My whole body feels foreign and uncomfortable and it makes me feel like throwing up. ;) I dunno... glad it's Friday though...Goal for the weekend... NO puking! or shopping.... ;)