Hi...need your opinions.
From my college years on I have always had a weird relationship with food. My weight has fluctuated by 20 lbs here and there and finally now that I am 30 I have a BMI of 30 and am obese. My senior year in college I went on a starvation diet and got down to a size 2. My mom was so worried about me. Now I am a 16. I think about food all of the time and have a tremendous appetite. When I am eating at a resturaunt or someone's house I get stressed wondering if there will be enough to make me full. I eat very fast and get very full. I have strong cravings and get very very hungry. I sometimes throw food away so that I won't eat it and then go back to the trash and get it back out. I have tried weight watchers and tons of other diets....before my weigh ins if I haven't lost weight I might take a laxative or a water pill so that the scale will be favorable. I have never taken large numbers of either though.
I yo- yo and can't stick to a diet for the life of me. I eat sweet things and think about spitting them out before I swallow them but fight the urge because I know that takes me to a new level. I have never purged.
I feel very guilty when I eat any type of food...except maybe salad. If I mess up and eat something bad I literally fall apart. I don't even enjoy a good meal because I am so worried about my weight.

So....am I just a diet statistic or do you think I may have a problem? Your opinions are much appreciated....I can't talk to anyone else about this....

i think you might have a problem (that's my unprofessional opinion!). cuz i think that normally humans shouldnt have their weight fluctuate so much, whether its up or down. you mentioned weigh-ins~does that mean that youve been seeing your doctor regularly? if not, you really should, cuz ive heard of people who have gained/lost weight due to thyroid or hormone probs, im not exactly sure what, to tell the truth, but i know that there can be a variety of physical causes for stuff like this!

i know exactly what you mean about throwing out food, too....i just have to get it away from me or else i binge. and the guilt that comes w/all this! so just remember that youre not alone.

Your relationship with food definately is not normal. You should not feel guilty or fall apart after eating anything but salad. I know you said you have tried diets, but have you tried talking with a couselor to find out what is causing the feelings behind your eating? For most of us on these boards it is not really about the food as much as it is about the issues behind the behavior. Please consider it. Take care :angel: