How To Be a Therapist: Lesson I: Learn the Jargon
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1)Normal person: "I don't think that's true"
Therapist: "I'm not sure that's true"
2)Normal person: "What do you think about that?"
Therapist: "How do you feel about that?"
3)Normal person: "Succeeding at something will help build your confidence"
Therapist: "You need a corrective emotional experience"
4)Normal person: "Some things bother me"
Therapist:"You have some stressors"

Lesson II: Profound statements made by therapists over the years:
1)"There is no such thing as laziness, only different levels of interest"
2)"Everything is subjective, including my own existence"
3)"You're reality's different that mine"
4)"That table is there because we agree on it"
5)"There is no truth, only opinions"


Lesson III: Practice therapy session dialogue:
Therapist: "What's different today?"
Patient: "YOU are different, that is, different than normal people"
Therapist: "It seems that way too you, because of your ideation"
Patient: "Does that mean it can't also be true?"
Therapist: "Okay..let's talk about the schizophrenia.."
Patient: "Who's schizophrenia? My diagnosis is Bipolar - remember?"
Therapist: "Hmmm..why are you so argumentative today?"
Patient: "I only argue with people who are wrong"
Therapist: "You are fighting the therapy!"
Patient: "No, I am fighting to maintain my sanity, whilst being confronted by an idiot"
Therapist: "Well, time's up..time to end the session"
Patient: "Why was my session only 5 minutes long?"
Therapist: "Because it takes me another 55 minutes to figure out your bill"
Patient: "You are suffering from delusional thinking - do you think I'm actually going to pay for this?!"

thats funny :)

That's why I only went to therapy 4 times. I don't need to explain that I am bi-polar, add, skitzo, paranoid, delusional...

I really enjoyed reading your post:)

Not to mention that if all you have is plain old chemically imbalanced Bipolar Disorder (with no other underlying problems), Therapy doesn't do anything at ALL for you!!

In that case, treat the chemical imbalance with meds. Period!

(Thanks for a funny post!!)

LOL!!!! :D

Thats funny...

well, to be honest...on both sides I have been, and it really is in the words you say...the last part though is amusing though. I have had many a people argue with me about my semantics when I have played the part of therapist...its crazy I tell you, CRAZY what people will argue to avoid any progress in their sessions. I hate the therapists that ask you a question, and you answer it, then they stare at you for a while. Makes me rather nervous, and I am not a nervous person. I just want to get up and poke their unmoving eyes. Sometime I will and see how they label that ;)

blue

bluesnowflake,
I appreciate your response to my post.
What concerns me is your satement "it is [amazing] what people will say to avoid progress in their therapy". The thing is, how do you know that in all such cases, they are trying to avoid progress in their therapy? Another way to ask the question is, do therapists ever take any statement at face value, and respond accordingly? Or, do they read too much into some statements?? Or, do they, as I fear, simply consider it as an affront to them when the patients make such statements, and therefore redirent the source of their annoyance onto the patient???

________________________________________ ______
"The therapist is never wrong"
---Sigmund Fraud

Considering you said in 'all such cases', I will take that as you think all therapists respond the same to anything. I don't think you meant you think all therapists are the same? I hope not, as we all know people are different and that includes the therapy profession.
When I counsel people, I cannot take everything they say at face value. People are scared to admit things, they aren't even aware sometimes how they feel about a situation because so many factors hide their true feelings- such as anger, despair, guilt, etc. These fronts come out in trying to deny problems, reverse situations, and worse, blame (whether its themselves or someone else). So yes, they may read too much into 'some' statements, but they are human along with you and I. We all read too much into things at times, and because we think differently them anyone else, its understandable. Therapy is a hard thing, both ways. It is so hard to help and understand someone when they can respond with lies and blames. Thats why such therapists must read too much into things.

blue

I have seen some terrible therspists, some were held in very high regard in the psychiatry field, and I have seen others that amaze me with what they do. It's the same in any profession.

The way I used "all such cases" was used in the same sense as if I had said "How do you know that every time a patient argues (or whatever), that he is fighting the therapy." In other words, people argue for all kinds of reasons. Maybe a patient simply disagrees with a therapist sometimes. Or, maybe the patient has a legitiment beef - since as you said "therapists are human too..", thus implying that they say and do the wrong things sometimes.
Actually this raises a couple of other issues. Most of the therapists I have had have said something at the beginning of the therapy, to me, effectively saying that "I (the patient) am the boss.." Which stands to reason, since I am paying them for a service. But then why do therapists spend so much time and energy trying to maintain control of the situation - I knew at least one therapist who was so into this, that she would not even answer direct questions - of any type.
Another issue that is raised is, why do therapists make general statements such as "you are the boss" or "therapists make mistakes all the time", yet when push comes to shove, IN THE HEAT OF THE ACTUAL SITUATION THEY APPEAR TO CATEGORICALLY DENY that they are in the process of making a mistake?? It is meaningless to make a general statement, then not follow through when the chips are down!

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"Patients are people too."
--Jack Nicholsen