My girlfriend was just diagnosed with genital herpes yesterday by her doctor and we had sex this weekend. The first thing that of course happened was people throwing blame at each other and we had both been tested previously and nothing had been found on either one of us. over the course of the next 24 hours i started thinking back about my past and the only thing that came up was this wierd thing i had to go to the doctor for once. I got these slightly rasied lumps in a small cluster but they weren't blisters and the girl i had been with said she had, had a really bad yeast infection.

I just assumed it was the male form, because i have this terrible habit of sleeping in my clothes, sweatig a lot at night and i did go to the doctor who use his little blue light and checked me out and did a scrape and tested it as well.
He gave me something called Lotrisone and within a few days it was healing completely and a few days later it was almost gone. After a week it was like nothing had ever happened and i was fine.

This girl had some kind of female problem with being insulin resistant and somehow it effected her bacteria inher pubic area and it seemed like every time we'd sleep together i'd getlike one bump or two, usethe lotrisone an it'd be gone.

But after finding out about my girlfriend i'm wondering if the doctor was wrong who didn't even test for herpes and i've had it all along and never known. I've never considered what i had as a breakout it never itched, burned, or anything, except some itching the first time. Now the thing that comes to mind is that it was the dr's assistant i saw and not the regular doctor.

What do you think ??? thank you in advance i see a doctor on thurs.

It sounds very possible that you were misdiagnosed. So often women mistake herpes for a yeast infection because of the itching, redness, etc ... so it's quite possible that your girlfriend was misdiagnosed as well.
It's so hard to say until you get it checked out for herpes specifically, but definitely don't necessarily put the blame on your current girlfriend... your symptoms sound like they could very possibly be H as well.

but definitely don't necessarily put the blame on your current girlfriend... your symptoms sound like they could very possibly be H as well.

I don't blame her at all, she blames me, she blames my X, and right now i'm not having any pain whatsoever, just itching. She really chaffed me this weekend andi guess i chafed her too. her dr diagnosed her with a swab test, so tomorrow i guess i'll know for sure.

the odd thing is not a single X i'm stil in contact with has been diagnosed or had any symptoms or breakouts and all of them do the regular ob/gyn checkup on a yearly basis.

Well my current girlfriend is taking diflucan along with her Valtrex. Somehow i don't think it'd be possible to dodge the bullet from this weekend. If i didn't have it before, i most likely have it know, if she was on the verge of a breakout, there's no way for me not to get it right ?

the bumps i have don't look anything like blisters and don' hurt, just itch.

thank you for your reply Moving....i'm trying to be as understanding as i can, but you can imagine we're both in shock right now. i'll post back after my appointment.

You should get a blood test now, if you want to know, because it's too soon for you to have antibodies from this past weekend--so if antibodies show up, you have had it all along.

This is a sad story--but you should tell your girlfriend that, if she had ever had sex before meeting you, she could have gotten it. H can lay dormant for years and years, even decades...the more you read on this board, the more you will realize that this is true.

Good luck. Remember that she is shocked and depressed at her diagnosis now. Try to gently help her move from the past (blame, regret) into the hopeful future (what do we do to minimize the effect of this on our lives; we will face this together; we will still have good lives.) Peace.

into the hopeful future (what do we do to minimize the effect of this on our lives; we will face this together; we will still have good lives.) Peace.

Yes that's exactly my way of thinking right now, how can i minimize the effect this has on me and my girlfriends life and still have a normal life and normal future. I made a joke last night to her about , well i guess we're stuck together now, if we both have it.

I'm being tested today and i never thought i'd feel so many different emotions over such a short period of time. I'm a guy and i found myself crying multiple times for feeling guilty and possibly ruining her life. I feel hatred towards her for possibly runing mine (shock mainly) and then feelng bad for her because she's in so much pain from her OB and im not.

i've heard your first outbreak is five to 20 days from the time of infection and all i have is itching from where it felt like she chafed the heck out of me with her hand. guess i'll find out for sure in a few hours.

If i am positive then i guess the next step is learning how to live a normal life with it. I have friends who have friends with H who tell they are living normal lives and supposedly one of them hasn't had an OB in years and years.

Thank you for the reply I do appreciate it.

It sounds like you have a good attitude about the whole thing.
Herpes is definitely "life-altering", but not "life-ruining" by any means.
And regardless of who gave it to whom, you guys both chose to enter into a sexual relationship and this is always going to come with risks... emotional risks as well as risks of stds, pregnancy, etc. Neither of you were trying to harm the other, it's just an unlucky thing that happened and as I'm sure you've realized from this board, testing and protection don't necessarily keep you from getting it anyway. It's such a tricky bugger. Common and tricky.
Good luck with your testing. If you have H, well then be supportive of each other. Also, you're not necessarily "Stuck" together from now on. I hope that you two have a wonderful relationship and it may last forever, but some couples have a tendency to stay together because of their herpes. However you can definitly date and go on to have a lovely, happy life, H or not! And if it turns out you dont have it, then just be very supportive of your girlfriend, it's such a shocker at first and it will help her so much to know that you are still there for her.
Good luck.
movingrightalong

Well i met with the doctor today and they didn't do any blood tests at all even though he said he would if i requested it, but didn't feel it was neccassary. He found ONE blister that was apparently so distinctive that right away he said yes you do indeed have it. He said most likely i do have antibodies and the chances of it moving to any other part of my body are slim to none and started me on Valtrex. said it should clear up the out break. He said don't stress cause that will only make things worse and i might never have a break out again. He gave me 6 refills if i need them.

So now i have to ask myself other then the Valtrex what else can i do to help myself. He assured me 80% of the population has it and it is not life ruining and that if i need anthing at all to call him.

He also said that i wasn't contagious as long as i wasn't having a breakout or beginning one.

So now i have to live with this never knowing where it came from or who only that my girlfriend got it days before i did.

So can someone tell me what the next steps for having a healthy life are and to get this particular outbreak over and done with asap ???