Im at the point where binging seems like the only thing to do. I was better for so long, i had stopped for two weeks. I felt good about myself again, comfortable around myself again, finally at ease. Then one thing set it off and since then i really have not stopped, ive been bingig and purging almost everyday for the past week. I feel like i need a slap in the face to make me stop or something, im really not sure what to do to stop myself. My face has been swollen for a week, im never at ease, i feel so helpless. I cant stand feeling this way after i was feeling so good. My throat felt raw when i woke up this morning, one would think that these things in themselves would make me stop but they are making me feel worse about myself to the point where i continue to hurt myself using this eating disorder. More than anything it is so tireing. Im tired, and I hurt and i just want to stop.
I guess I just needed to vent more than anything. Im not angry, or giving up, or whatever... im just tired of this. Im tired of having it consume me at the slightest set off and wasting so much of my life. Everyday i waste my time, my energy and my spirit to fill some void that seems to be never ending.

If anyone can give a few good words i would appreciate it. Its just been a really tough week.

Thank You
Best Wishes

Have you tried exercising instead of eating? Get outside and breathe fresh air and walk ... If you can't get outside go take a warm bath.. Do you like essential oils some great oils are Young Living Essential Oils. They have helped me with numerous anxiety issues and so on. Just relax and take deep breaths. What about Tae Boe? Try some stress punches. Don't go to the kitchen. Be motivated!!! Drink lots of water. Carry a water bottle with you everyday. Well I hope this will help if you do get some essential oils start with Lavender. A relaxant. Take a bath in it!! I love it!!! If you need more motivation keep writing to me I will try and keep you motivated. Kandie

Daniela
I am also a bulimia sufferer and i know how engulfing this horrible illness is.It does take up so much of your thoughts to the point of acute distress and anxiety.
In my situation the more i try to "snap" out of it, the iller i seem to become. I think i suffer from acute anxiety also. my doc has prescribed me a low dose of diazepam to take when i feel really bad and i've also been started on a mildly sedating anti-depressant which atleast is knocking me out at night(thats when i usually b/p). Have you seen your doctor at all.?They're no specialists and you need to see a specialist but it is a start even if its just for some meds to help you with the anxiety.
Nikkitaxxx.

I know how u feel too. I have bulimia and actually in the last month I have been doing really well. I used to b/p at least 4 times everyday, in the last 4 weeks, only 1 time. I really analyzed that b/p and realize it really is something I do when I have anxiety. When I feel good about myself I do not do it. You need to get yourself out of any situation that is triggering this. If an alcoholic is trying not to drink, he should not have liquor in the house. Now I do realize we need to eat to survive, but it is alot easier to b/p when there is ANY trigger foods in the house. The exercise post is sooo true. It does help break the cycle (as long as you are NOT exercising in an obsessive way). The less I b/p, the more energy I have, the more exercise I get. At first even walking for 10 min was torture. Now I am starting to look foward to working out and being stronger. The days I do any activity like run or weights, I don't worry so much about my eating. I know it is so hard to break the cycle.. Everyday is the "last time I will do this". Can you not b/p for 2 days? Eat really healthy and take food out of the #1 spotlight? I am trying so hard to eat to live..... not live to eat.

Remember that we all have our good and bad days, but obviously b/p is really not making you feel any better so maybe it is time to push these obsessions aside and ask yourself what else you can do instead.