I have been wandering around all of you for months now, hope you are not offended. I believe that I need some serious guidance in my situation. I have been in a relationship for 7 years. 1.5 yrs ago my b/f was diagnosed w/ Bi-Polar. Beginning - wonderful, a few concerns regarding certain behaviors. I am from another state than he and visit home alot. He came w/ me a first, only to have a miserable time, make everyone including himself VERY uncomfortable, felt out of place, we were all against him, etc..... We used to have an argument, not speak for DAYS, 4-5. A year and a half ago he needed to make some serious decisions regarding his family, decided to cut everyone of them off. (They aren't very nice people) He has 2 sons which he has no contact with, one has another 'father' and family and has pretty much sine birth. The other sons mother called a year and a half ago-same time he cut off his family-and said "get rid of your girlfriend and her daughter, call your other son, call your parents and apologize and you get me and your son" Very difficult decision. He told her he wasn't giving up the only person-me- who ever gave him a chance to be a father- not even of his own flesh and blood. ( My daugher has known him since she was 1.5 yrs old, she's now 9).
He lost it, basically told me how he was going to end it just not when. I convinced him to go to the doc, she prescribed Prozac, has been on it for 18 months. WHAT AN INCREDIBLE DIFFERENCE. different man, my family has come around again, he's absolutely changed for the better. He said he will never go off it. Guess what??? 4 weeks off now. "doesn't need it anymore". I apologize for the length of this thread, just trying to get you there, it won't happen again. It's been great until yesterday- introduced me to his new boss, I said 2 sentences to him and he flipped. "I am nothing but a bigmouth, trying to ruin his life, always have, always will, no good for nothing but running my nouth, trying to destroy everything he has ever worked for, get out, make your own decision and let someone be free." UUHHH??????? WHAT???? Is this a medication thing, BP thing, me thing, or just a complete jerk thing?? I am getting those old feelings that I don't know whats coming next and I need some something. Counseling, been to 2, they want him in there, which by the way, he only had one counseling session, she just kept giving hime 6 mos scripts. Analyze if you will, I would truly appreciate it!! Thanks

It sounds like a going-off-meds thing. He needs to realize that he NEEDS meds to function. Going off meds is not that uncommon for us BPs, and for some people they really have to hit bottom to "get" that they MUST take their meds. His therapist needs to stress this to him so he'll get back on track.

I have been taking Prozac 40 mg 1x per day for 5 years. You just don't decide on your own and outa the blue to quit taking your meds. That is the problem here; he needs to get back on his meds and STAY ON THEM. Friendly advice; hope he takes it.

The man needs to visit a doctor to figure out whats wrong with him.

Pretty clear... If Prozac helped, why stop?

Wow, didn't expect the responses so quickly, however, you have no idea the appreciation I have for them. As I said it wasn't but a couple of months ago he said "I'll never be stop taking it", tonight he told a girlfriend of mine "I don't need need it anymore", she said he was pretty damn adamant about it too. Thickman, TM for short ok?? WHY would someone stop??? Is it b/c they haven't had counseling? Is it a phase? Is it denial? Is it b/c they don't think bi-polar is real? Is it b/c they are in denial that they could possibly truly have a mental disorder they are not in control of? This one psych. saw him one time told him all he needed was a little help-PROZAC- and he would be fine, never checked, called for a follow up, nothing, gave him 6 mos, 3x when he was out 4 weeks ago, I suggested he call someone else, he did and the doc he spoke with said, "MR, if your on Prozac, it's for a reason, you aren't getting 6 mos scripts from me w/out coming to see me at least 2x a month." B/f says "to hell with that, don't need it." Guess I need to wait 'til the next attack??!!!?? For lack of better words. (I truly do not mean any offense out there, just trying to learn how the hell to deal) I have so many questions. so many unanswered questions, I don't mind constructive critiscism or "shut up, you are talking entirely too much", I have found this site to be extremely helpful by observing. I am just so nervous putting my situation out there, you have no idea!!

Hi onegirl, actually I DO know how you feel. I have been in your shoes, slightly different situation, but basically the same. Your bf needs his meds. Prozac can be a miracle drug for some, nightmare for others. It is OBVIOUS that it works, and works WELL for your bf. Is there ANY way that you, a friend, a friend of his, etc... can talk to him and try to let him see he needs the Prozac. It is very "normal" for someone on meds to go off them when they are feeling SO good. They can get the "false security" type feelings that they are "cured", and they no longer need their meds. This is SO SO COMMON, you wouldnt BELIEVE it!!! I bet a LOT of people will get back on here and agree with me. I have a daughter that is bipolar, and I have just recently been "officially" diagnosed as the same. We are on antidepressants (the same one), and a mood stabilizer (different ones). Not too long ago, my daughter (she is now 19, but has been diagnosed for about 4 years) noticed that her mood stabilizer was NOT working, so she stopped it. BUT.........she did not tell me. She was taking her pills from the pill organizer, but not TAKING them. She finally "fessed up", but only because she had become PHYSICALLY ill, stomach aches and headaches. So we went to the psych doc and he put her on a new med. It seems to be working well.

Sorry to ramble on OG, but here is the just of what I'm trying to say. I AM the one who tends to go off her meds when she gets feeling so well. I have learned my lesson, BUT the temptation to not have to take the meds is SO great, and you feel SO good on them, that you just sometimes cannot resist the urge to just stop.

I HOPE this has helped, and I WISH I could help you and bf more, but the fact of the matter is, HE has to take those meds, and STAY on those meds. He is SO lucky that he has found a med that works so well for him. Like I said Prozac can be a miracle for some. Unfortunately, it was a nightmare for my daughter and I, LOL!!!! :)

Good luck Onegirl.
God bless, and take care.
Please let us know how you are doing. I am sure all will agree with me, that we WELCOME you here. We are all here to help each other and others like yourself to understand better. You are truly VERY special, as you are not giving up, and you have stayed with this for so long. Please try not to give up, he obviously needs you.

Hugs ((((((((onegirl))))))))

Suzi :)

onegirl, you're on the money as far as why people stop taking their meds. There is one other reason--side effects. When I was in the hospital last July I met a very nice and kindhearted man in his 50s who had been in and out of more hospitals than I knew existed. He was very frank about saying "My lithium just gets to me after a while, and I stop taking it." He knew what would happen--his arms were crisscrossed with deep scars from attempted suicides--but he didn't like the side effects and so he stopped his meds.
I'm not trying to scare you here, but I am trying to say that if we want to stay well there's a balance we have to achieve--be willing to endure some side effects rather than cause utter chaos by going off our meds. This is the fork in the road your bf is at. You can encourage him, but eventually making the right choice is up to him. I hope he makes the right choice.

Wow, didn't expect the responses so quickly, however, you have no idea the appreciation I have for them. As I said it wasn't but a couple of months ago he said "I'll never be stop taking it", tonight he told a girlfriend of mine "I don't need need it anymore", she said he was pretty damn adamant about it too. Thickman, TM for short ok?? WHY would someone stop??? Is it b/c they haven't had counseling? Is it a phase? Is it denial? Is it b/c they don't think bi-polar is real? Is it b/c they are in denial that they could possibly truly have a mental disorder they are not in control of? This one psych. saw him one time told him all he needed was a little help-PROZAC- and he would be fine, never checked, called for a follow up, nothing, gave him 6 mos, 3x when he was out 4 weeks ago, I suggested he call someone else, he did and the doc he spoke with said, "MR, if your on Prozac, it's for a reason, you aren't getting 6 mos scripts from me w/out coming to see me at least 2x a month." B/f says "to hell with that, don't need it." Guess I need to wait 'til the next attack??!!!?? For lack of better words. (I truly do not mean any offense out there, just trying to learn how the hell to deal) I have so many questions. so many unanswered questions, I don't mind constructive critiscism or "shut up, you are talking entirely too much", I have found this site to be extremely helpful by observing. I am just so nervous putting my situation out there, you have no idea!!

Sometimes it is like a phase... I go through them once in a while... Where for some "unknown" reason I become neglegent with my medications... Then I end up WORSE than where I start... You should encourage him to continue his medications and not to stop unless the doctor says it is cool to do so...

Also, he could be in denial that the deal is, he is ill, and that he does need the meds...

Either way, get him to speak with his doctor... And go with him if you can... Then you can explain his behaviour to the doctor too...

Oh, TALK THERAPY IS IMPORTANT... He should be seeing atleast a phyc once every month ATLEAST... Cause sometimes medications could end up doing the WRONG THING if the doctor does not monitor...

Hang in there...