red16
02-02-2004, 05:49 PM
sorry I keep posting new threads, sorry if it's getting annoying.
yesterdayi was watching this theater thing on t.v. and julie andrews came out at one point introduing a number at at one point recited the word "gay" obviously in the terms of being happy, but I really freake dout when I heard it that time ,more than usual and since then my thoughts have been stronger adn I keep going "I'm not gay, thankgoodness I'm straight" over and over and over, it was getting better before yesterday but now I guess I've spiked? and sometimes I mix things up and they come out wrong like I'll mix up gay and straight at certain points in the thought and freak out because it's like "omg i just said I was gay" and have to say straight more times, and not think the word gay. or I'll often go "oh no did I just look at that woman?" and freak out and sometimes in an attempt to reassure my straightness I'll think and say or think the opposite or think I'm attracted and freak out. adn tehn I lose confidence and being straight and sometimes I'll think "so maybe i'm not gay but what if I'm bi-sexual?" and freak out. I'm always afraid that I'm the exception. being able to type this is huge for me because even seeing the word is huge for me, sorry I'm babbling so much.
yesterdayi was watching this theater thing on t.v. and julie andrews came out at one point introduing a number at at one point recited the word "gay" obviously in the terms of being happy, but I really freake dout when I heard it that time ,more than usual and since then my thoughts have been stronger adn I keep going "I'm not gay, thankgoodness I'm straight" over and over and over, it was getting better before yesterday but now I guess I've spiked? and sometimes I mix things up and they come out wrong like I'll mix up gay and straight at certain points in the thought and freak out because it's like "omg i just said I was gay" and have to say straight more times, and not think the word gay. or I'll often go "oh no did I just look at that woman?" and freak out and sometimes in an attempt to reassure my straightness I'll think and say or think the opposite or think I'm attracted and freak out. adn tehn I lose confidence and being straight and sometimes I'll think "so maybe i'm not gay but what if I'm bi-sexual?" and freak out. I'm always afraid that I'm the exception. being able to type this is huge for me because even seeing the word is huge for me, sorry I'm babbling so much.
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Always_Worrying
02-02-2004, 10:45 PM
Here is an idea for you that does help me some:
Wear a bracelet around your wrist. Everytime you try to tell yourself you think you might be gay, look at it. Whenever you look at the bracelet, make yourself say something repetetive about being straight. For instance, my therapist calls this thought stopping. I use thought stopping by using a physical reinforcement (a bracelet).
Example:
You are watching TV and you hear the word gay. You immediatley think you might be gay.
(Look at the bracelet) Say, "Thought GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I am a very straight man, who is strictly into women."
You have to stop the thought immediately when it starts. And the key is to Consistent. Everytime you have gay thoughts you need to say a postive counterstatement.
I use this with my fear of germs. It really does help. It can be exhausting, cause you'll find yourself doing it quite a bit. But eventually, when you hear or think the work gay, you will have no reaction to it.
GOOD LUCK!
Wear a bracelet around your wrist. Everytime you try to tell yourself you think you might be gay, look at it. Whenever you look at the bracelet, make yourself say something repetetive about being straight. For instance, my therapist calls this thought stopping. I use thought stopping by using a physical reinforcement (a bracelet).
Example:
You are watching TV and you hear the word gay. You immediatley think you might be gay.
(Look at the bracelet) Say, "Thought GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I am a very straight man, who is strictly into women."
You have to stop the thought immediately when it starts. And the key is to Consistent. Everytime you have gay thoughts you need to say a postive counterstatement.
I use this with my fear of germs. It really does help. It can be exhausting, cause you'll find yourself doing it quite a bit. But eventually, when you hear or think the work gay, you will have no reaction to it.
GOOD LUCK!
red16
02-03-2004, 07:13 PM
thanks:) i'll try that but i'll have t oswitch it around a bit because just to let you know I'm a girl.
Always_Worrying
02-03-2004, 08:57 PM
thanks:) i'll try that but i'll have t oswitch it around a bit because just to let you know I'm a girl.
:eek: Whoops!! Sorry Red! My mistake! :eek: :eek:
:eek: Whoops!! Sorry Red! My mistake! :eek: :eek:
crazygrl777
03-10-2004, 10:55 PM
Thought stopping is not recommended for people with OCD because it makes the obsessions even worse. You are supposed to just let the thought sit in your head. The more you push it out, the stronger it becomes and it will persist.
alex86
03-10-2004, 11:45 PM
I also dealt with a bad case of gay OCD about two months ago, and the episode lasted for about a month. I was going through the same thing as you're going to, and I'm 100% that you're not gay. I know this statement is only going to help for a couple of minutes.
At one point, I felt that I couldn't live like this anymore. I was tired of feeling so freakin miserable, and I told myself that I want to get out of this state no matter what it takes. I read a good article by some doctor (sorry, I dont remember the name or title) which focused entirely on the gay ocd. The method described was cognitive-behavioral treatment, and for me, it worked. I began to repeat myself that I'm gay. Whenever the anxiety would strike me, I'd tell myself, yeah, I'm gay, I'm gay, what do u want me to do now, I was born this way, I'm gay, that's the way things are, and I can't change my sexual preference. I started reading more and more about homosexuality, I started reading stories of homosexuals, etc, looking at pics of men together, etc. I was often telling myself that I am embarking on a journey to rediscover myself. If being gay was going to make me happy, then I'd rather be gay than being miserable. And gradually, I began developing some tolerance towards homosexuality. When the thoughts of being gay would hit me, I was no longer feeling so anxious.
My anxiety to this OCD decreased constantly over a period of about 2 weeks, so my advice is to take things slowly and to tell yourself that you're doing it in good faith, and that you're going to find your peace of soul in the end (I know it sounds a little awkward, it's something I translated from my native language).
Once I was done with the gay ocd, something bigger came upon me. And I am struggling with this new type of ocd as we're speaking. I think I improved a little bit though. I borrowed a book about OCD ( it's called "the sky is falling") from the library today, and for the first time, I read about a case were the patient was feeling something similar to what I feel. It made me feel a little better. And maybe one day I'll be able to laugh about it and tell you guys what I was going through.
I hope I made sense to you, and I hope this info is helpful somehow. Watch out that once you begin to grow tolerance towards homosexuality, you're going to hit another wall of questions. you'll tell yourself that you are gay because you don't feel anxious anymore. just keep on going, and one day, you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel ...
all the best to all of you
alex85
At one point, I felt that I couldn't live like this anymore. I was tired of feeling so freakin miserable, and I told myself that I want to get out of this state no matter what it takes. I read a good article by some doctor (sorry, I dont remember the name or title) which focused entirely on the gay ocd. The method described was cognitive-behavioral treatment, and for me, it worked. I began to repeat myself that I'm gay. Whenever the anxiety would strike me, I'd tell myself, yeah, I'm gay, I'm gay, what do u want me to do now, I was born this way, I'm gay, that's the way things are, and I can't change my sexual preference. I started reading more and more about homosexuality, I started reading stories of homosexuals, etc, looking at pics of men together, etc. I was often telling myself that I am embarking on a journey to rediscover myself. If being gay was going to make me happy, then I'd rather be gay than being miserable. And gradually, I began developing some tolerance towards homosexuality. When the thoughts of being gay would hit me, I was no longer feeling so anxious.
My anxiety to this OCD decreased constantly over a period of about 2 weeks, so my advice is to take things slowly and to tell yourself that you're doing it in good faith, and that you're going to find your peace of soul in the end (I know it sounds a little awkward, it's something I translated from my native language).
Once I was done with the gay ocd, something bigger came upon me. And I am struggling with this new type of ocd as we're speaking. I think I improved a little bit though. I borrowed a book about OCD ( it's called "the sky is falling") from the library today, and for the first time, I read about a case were the patient was feeling something similar to what I feel. It made me feel a little better. And maybe one day I'll be able to laugh about it and tell you guys what I was going through.
I hope I made sense to you, and I hope this info is helpful somehow. Watch out that once you begin to grow tolerance towards homosexuality, you're going to hit another wall of questions. you'll tell yourself that you are gay because you don't feel anxious anymore. just keep on going, and one day, you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel ...
all the best to all of you
alex85
auntchilada
03-11-2004, 10:23 AM
Alex86 and Red16
I can realte SOOOOO much to what you guys are talking about. Although my disturbing thoughts are not about being gay (they are more sexual thoughts, especially to kids kind of like "OMG what if I look a kid and think sexually" and stuff like that). It is the most god awful thing ever and I wouldn't want my worst enemy to experience it. Like you Red16, if I see something on TV like about a phedophile or something, I freak out and worry "OMG what if I am like that?????" What Alex86 said about how he treated his gay thoughts is a really good idea. By telling yourself "Yep I accept the fact that I am gay (or have a disease, or think sexually about kids, etc)" then that takes the fear away and you being to see how silly it really is. Just know that you guys are not alone!!!!!!
I can realte SOOOOO much to what you guys are talking about. Although my disturbing thoughts are not about being gay (they are more sexual thoughts, especially to kids kind of like "OMG what if I look a kid and think sexually" and stuff like that). It is the most god awful thing ever and I wouldn't want my worst enemy to experience it. Like you Red16, if I see something on TV like about a phedophile or something, I freak out and worry "OMG what if I am like that?????" What Alex86 said about how he treated his gay thoughts is a really good idea. By telling yourself "Yep I accept the fact that I am gay (or have a disease, or think sexually about kids, etc)" then that takes the fear away and you being to see how silly it really is. Just know that you guys are not alone!!!!!!
welcometothezoo
03-15-2004, 12:22 PM
that is so weird! that is just so typically OCD and how it attacks with intrusive thoughts. i know exactly what you mean, a word or image just suddenly becomes either the most frightening or fascinating thing in the world for no apparent reason. a matter of days ago i was at a theatre in London. Seconds before the show started i suddenly imagined myself having torette syndrome, and how awfully embarassing it would be if i started yelling obscene words out! it was really anxiety-provoking, and i, at times, was sure that i'd yell something out when everything went silent. Occassionally i actually put my hand to my mouth in case! ahhhhh, mental, wat on earth do we go through!?!?
crazygrl777
03-17-2004, 12:16 AM
Red16, I am going through the EXACT same thing you are. I have been dealing with these gay obsessions for almost two years now, every second of the day. So many things trigger my thoughts. I haven't gotten any professional help as of yet, but I hope to start soon. There is a website that helped me discover that this is OCD. It is ocdonline.com. My thoughts are ruining my relationships with people and at times I just feel like locking myself in a room, away from everyone. I just wish I was my old self, where I could enjoy being with a man without having an anxiety attack and wondering "Am I doing the right thing? Should I be with a girl right now?" People always say just don't think about it, but it is always in my head, there is no way to get it out. I am tormented by these thoughts 24 hours a day. It would be nice to talk to someone who is going through the exact same thing as me, to compare notes. I think we might be able to help each other out.
girl3900
03-17-2004, 12:31 AM
I've also tried the rubber band thing but I haven't had any luck with it. Sometimes it helps me to say "so what" when the thoughts come up. I found it helps me because instead of saying 'oh no, here they come again, i better be ready this time!' you replace it with something like "so what if i'm gay" or something like that. It tends to deflate the fear. Whenever I feel them coming on I also try saying things like "it's just the ocd and not reality"...."these are just thoughts, they'll pass"..."i can deal with this, i'm okay"'.....Kinda corny but they really help me a lot. I try to say these things at the first warning that they're coming and it's not as bad.
I think everyone with OCD goes through the thought process of thinking they're the exception at some point in time. I know I'm going through it right now.
I think everyone with OCD goes through the thought process of thinking they're the exception at some point in time. I know I'm going through it right now.