thickman
02-04-2004, 10:33 AM
Here is the dilly my people... :p
I take peoples comments and critizim SO PERSONAL that a stranger could ruin my day by saying my clothes don't match (which they never seem to do for some odd reason?)...
Why am I so sensitive to peoples views on me?
Why do I always want to please everyone?
Why do I always put my wants/needs second and let everyone get theirs first?
WHY!?
Why can't I just be a reasonable level headed person who can seperate a joke from a non-joke... I can't even tell when people are teasing me or serious....
My mind is playing big tricks on me... :rolleyes:
I take peoples comments and critizim SO PERSONAL that a stranger could ruin my day by saying my clothes don't match (which they never seem to do for some odd reason?)...
Why am I so sensitive to peoples views on me?
Why do I always want to please everyone?
Why do I always put my wants/needs second and let everyone get theirs first?
WHY!?
Why can't I just be a reasonable level headed person who can seperate a joke from a non-joke... I can't even tell when people are teasing me or serious....
My mind is playing big tricks on me... :rolleyes:
Sponsor
WarBonds
02-04-2004, 11:06 AM
Thickman,
To answer your question: insecurity, lack of self esteem, no or little self confidence, to name a few.
Years ago, I did what you were doing and was trying to buy peoples' acceptance by being overly nice, understanding, helpful, etc. I was TOO focused...just relax, let it slide, don't think about it.
Turn the question around...are these people trying to please and be overly nice to you? I doubt it. Are they fretting or worrying if they weren't polite or helpful to you?
I doubt it. They are not fretting and worrying, so you shouldn't be either. Just be a decent person and let it go.
Cool. :cool:
WarBonds
To answer your question: insecurity, lack of self esteem, no or little self confidence, to name a few.
Years ago, I did what you were doing and was trying to buy peoples' acceptance by being overly nice, understanding, helpful, etc. I was TOO focused...just relax, let it slide, don't think about it.
Turn the question around...are these people trying to please and be overly nice to you? I doubt it. Are they fretting or worrying if they weren't polite or helpful to you?
I doubt it. They are not fretting and worrying, so you shouldn't be either. Just be a decent person and let it go.
Cool. :cool:
WarBonds
InfiniteMystery
02-04-2004, 11:46 AM
Here is the dilly my people... :p
I take peoples comments and critizim SO PERSONAL that a stranger could ruin my day by saying my clothes don't match (which they never seem to do for some odd reason?)...
Why am I so sensitive to peoples views on me?
Why do I always want to please everyone?
Why do I always put my wants/needs second and let everyone get theirs first?
WHY!?
Why can't I just be a reasonable level headed person who can seperate a joke from a non-joke... I can't even tell when people are teasing me or serious....
My mind is playing big tricks on me... :rolleyes:
I think to some extent these things are normal. Most people want to be liked and respected by their peers. I suppose people whose self-esteem is low want this even more, so they try harder.
I'm a lot like that as well, not as bad as I used to be thankfully. After living with very bad acne for almost 10 years I had no choice but to not take peoples comments so seriously. Now the acne is gone, but I've taken that little life lesson with me. I can now leave the house without makeup(never used to be able to do this), in jogging pants and not care. If they're going to judge me simply by my messy hair & grubby clothes then I don't need them anyways.
I've also learnt how to say "NO" to people. There's only so much you can do for others before you start neglecting yourself. You need to be a little selfish every once in a while - everyone else is, why not you? :D
I take peoples comments and critizim SO PERSONAL that a stranger could ruin my day by saying my clothes don't match (which they never seem to do for some odd reason?)...
Why am I so sensitive to peoples views on me?
Why do I always want to please everyone?
Why do I always put my wants/needs second and let everyone get theirs first?
WHY!?
Why can't I just be a reasonable level headed person who can seperate a joke from a non-joke... I can't even tell when people are teasing me or serious....
My mind is playing big tricks on me... :rolleyes:
I think to some extent these things are normal. Most people want to be liked and respected by their peers. I suppose people whose self-esteem is low want this even more, so they try harder.
I'm a lot like that as well, not as bad as I used to be thankfully. After living with very bad acne for almost 10 years I had no choice but to not take peoples comments so seriously. Now the acne is gone, but I've taken that little life lesson with me. I can now leave the house without makeup(never used to be able to do this), in jogging pants and not care. If they're going to judge me simply by my messy hair & grubby clothes then I don't need them anyways.
I've also learnt how to say "NO" to people. There's only so much you can do for others before you start neglecting yourself. You need to be a little selfish every once in a while - everyone else is, why not you? :D
Crossbow
02-04-2004, 01:47 PM
Learning to say "NO" is a big thing. Not just, "No, you can't take advantage of me," but also "No, you don't have the power to put me down."
From your posts, it sounds like you give way too much power to other people. This is one of those things I told you I can spot but can't tell you what to do about, though. ;) I think you need to see a therapist about it.
From your posts, it sounds like you give way too much power to other people. This is one of those things I told you I can spot but can't tell you what to do about, though. ;) I think you need to see a therapist about it.
Deep_in_Thought
02-04-2004, 02:05 PM
Thickman,
So far, everyone has given you great advice/insights :-). I just wanted to add my own thoughts on this issue, as I used to think along these lines, too. Though I still do sometimes, it has lessened quite a bit for some of the reasons mentioned in the first response to your thread.
Some things to remember when these thoughts creep into your mind: Nobody is perfect...and who would want to be :-). Most people are trying to appear to be the greatest person to walk this Earth, too. Just take a look at a post in the Exercise & Fitness section of this website titled "Gym Idiots" (something like this). In it, there are all sorts of stories about people who try to look macho/cool/etc. as they workout in a gym. It's actually really funny :D . It points out that many people feel pressure to be liked by others. Trust me, it's a human need to be liked by others, as we are primarily social animals. What you need to realize is that you simply can't allow this desire to rule your life and behavior. You need to be confident enough to say to others: "I don't care what you think. I know that I'm a good person who has a lot to offer this world."
Another thing to remember is that if you laugh at yourself when you make "mistakes", you seem more confident to others. Just try to laugh at yourself when you have a blooper moment. It actually makes you feel better, and puts other people at ease.
In general, don't take life so seriously. This is a hard, but important, lesson to learn. If you recognize that you, as well as everyone else, is simply learning how to manuever through this world/society, you will realize that it's okay to make "mistakes"...it's just part of learning. Be kind to yourself ;) .
Colleen
So far, everyone has given you great advice/insights :-). I just wanted to add my own thoughts on this issue, as I used to think along these lines, too. Though I still do sometimes, it has lessened quite a bit for some of the reasons mentioned in the first response to your thread.
Some things to remember when these thoughts creep into your mind: Nobody is perfect...and who would want to be :-). Most people are trying to appear to be the greatest person to walk this Earth, too. Just take a look at a post in the Exercise & Fitness section of this website titled "Gym Idiots" (something like this). In it, there are all sorts of stories about people who try to look macho/cool/etc. as they workout in a gym. It's actually really funny :D . It points out that many people feel pressure to be liked by others. Trust me, it's a human need to be liked by others, as we are primarily social animals. What you need to realize is that you simply can't allow this desire to rule your life and behavior. You need to be confident enough to say to others: "I don't care what you think. I know that I'm a good person who has a lot to offer this world."
Another thing to remember is that if you laugh at yourself when you make "mistakes", you seem more confident to others. Just try to laugh at yourself when you have a blooper moment. It actually makes you feel better, and puts other people at ease.
In general, don't take life so seriously. This is a hard, but important, lesson to learn. If you recognize that you, as well as everyone else, is simply learning how to manuever through this world/society, you will realize that it's okay to make "mistakes"...it's just part of learning. Be kind to yourself ;) .
Colleen
mouse62
02-04-2004, 02:27 PM
Most of us who come to this Depression Board are naturally more socially anxious and sensitive than the average person. That's one thing to just accept. Anti-depressants do help sometimes.
I am in a situation where I feel more than criticized, I feel completely rejected as a worthwhile, attractive, interesting human being. But because I know I am those things and because, in my past, others have confirmed it, I refuse to give in to the negativity of my current situation.
I don't think it is 100% wrong to be sensitive to other's feedback. After all, that's the stuff dreams are made of -- you go for prize so that you can bask in other people's positive feedback! Then you have to take the bad with the good sometimes. It's just a problem when other people's opinions/criticisms become more important to you than your own viewpoint.
If you are surrounded by negative people, it's awfully hard to keep a realistic picture of yourself going in your own head!
I know that you (thickman) do seem to be around overly negative, critical people. Yet you are doing so well, you are working and taking care of your children, someone should be applauding you for that. (If you think that's not worthy of applause, it's just "to be expected," tell that to all of the deadbeat Dads and the people who could work but refuse and instead leech from the government, their families, etc!!!!!)
I am in a situation where I feel more than criticized, I feel completely rejected as a worthwhile, attractive, interesting human being. But because I know I am those things and because, in my past, others have confirmed it, I refuse to give in to the negativity of my current situation.
I don't think it is 100% wrong to be sensitive to other's feedback. After all, that's the stuff dreams are made of -- you go for prize so that you can bask in other people's positive feedback! Then you have to take the bad with the good sometimes. It's just a problem when other people's opinions/criticisms become more important to you than your own viewpoint.
If you are surrounded by negative people, it's awfully hard to keep a realistic picture of yourself going in your own head!
I know that you (thickman) do seem to be around overly negative, critical people. Yet you are doing so well, you are working and taking care of your children, someone should be applauding you for that. (If you think that's not worthy of applause, it's just "to be expected," tell that to all of the deadbeat Dads and the people who could work but refuse and instead leech from the government, their families, etc!!!!!)
Crossbow
02-04-2004, 03:08 PM
When I'm criticized unfailrly, I either ignore it or get indignant. When people criticize me about something that really is a problem, I obsess over it. It sucks.
I think the first question to ask yourself when someone criticizes you is, "Why are they saying that?" Are they really trying to help and don't understand what it does to you? Are they putting you down to build themselves up? Are they just ignorant? And most importantly, how much does their opinion count for in the first place?
Also, I find that when someone criticizes me on what I do at work, I don't give a flying f***. But if someone were to criticize my painting ... well, that's unforgivable! So I guess it's also a question of whether what they're crticizing you about is important to you.
So for example, if someone says your clothes don't match, ask yourself, did you want them to match, or do you not care? And does that person know anything about clothes? And if so, are they trying to help or putting you down?
I think the first question to ask yourself when someone criticizes you is, "Why are they saying that?" Are they really trying to help and don't understand what it does to you? Are they putting you down to build themselves up? Are they just ignorant? And most importantly, how much does their opinion count for in the first place?
Also, I find that when someone criticizes me on what I do at work, I don't give a flying f***. But if someone were to criticize my painting ... well, that's unforgivable! So I guess it's also a question of whether what they're crticizing you about is important to you.
So for example, if someone says your clothes don't match, ask yourself, did you want them to match, or do you not care? And does that person know anything about clothes? And if so, are they trying to help or putting you down?
thickman
02-04-2004, 03:34 PM
Thanks for the advice guys...
I am going to the phycotherapist today... I will let you all know tommorow how it goes... I am going to address this very issue I have...
I am going to the phycotherapist today... I will let you all know tommorow how it goes... I am going to address this very issue I have...
InfiniteMystery
02-04-2004, 05:11 PM
Thanks for the advice guys...
I am going to the phycotherapist today... I will let you all know tommorow how it goes... I am going to address this very issue I have...
Good luck, hope your appointment goes well.
IM :D
I am going to the phycotherapist today... I will let you all know tommorow how it goes... I am going to address this very issue I have...
Good luck, hope your appointment goes well.
IM :D
greenstumpie
02-04-2004, 08:33 PM
so do i!!! i hope that it goes great!!! thinking of you!!! :D
garyd
02-04-2004, 09:10 PM
The advice you guys had to offer in this post was nothing short of GREAT.
I see a bit of myself there, as a lot of us probably do. I exert an enormous amount of time and energ towards treating others as I would like to be treated. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it don't. Thanks to my wife and ZOLOFT I am doing quite well at saying OH WELL, he/she was an ******* anyway. Thanks guys for being around so we can all share thoughts.
I see a bit of myself there, as a lot of us probably do. I exert an enormous amount of time and energ towards treating others as I would like to be treated. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it don't. Thanks to my wife and ZOLOFT I am doing quite well at saying OH WELL, he/she was an ******* anyway. Thanks guys for being around so we can all share thoughts.
thickman
02-05-2004, 10:45 AM
Thanks everyone... My doc figures to just take it easy for the next while and continue the migration from Celexa to Paxil... Which seems to be working really well...
I love the Paxil so far... Makes me actually feel ALIVE for a change and it has only been a week... I am hoping within the next month I should be good to go...
Of course, the doctor did say that Self-Esteem and Low-Self-Worth is the cause of a lot of my stresses.... He mentioned that it takes practice to have good esteem and self-worth...
I personally feel that is a load of hog wash... (I mentioned this example to my doctor yesterday) Because my social worker told me the #1 way to build self-worth & esteem is to become SELF-LESS...
YAH RIGHT!!! When I did that, I felt I was neglecting myself so badly that my self-worth, depression, and feelings went so down the gutter that I could not even tolerate myself...
I dunno... Maybe I am just born to be a lonely soul :(
I love the Paxil so far... Makes me actually feel ALIVE for a change and it has only been a week... I am hoping within the next month I should be good to go...
Of course, the doctor did say that Self-Esteem and Low-Self-Worth is the cause of a lot of my stresses.... He mentioned that it takes practice to have good esteem and self-worth...
I personally feel that is a load of hog wash... (I mentioned this example to my doctor yesterday) Because my social worker told me the #1 way to build self-worth & esteem is to become SELF-LESS...
YAH RIGHT!!! When I did that, I felt I was neglecting myself so badly that my self-worth, depression, and feelings went so down the gutter that I could not even tolerate myself...
I dunno... Maybe I am just born to be a lonely soul :(
InfiniteMystery
02-05-2004, 11:39 AM
Thanks everyone... My doc figures to just take it easy for the next while and continue the migration from Celexa to Paxil... Which seems to be working really well...
I love the Paxil so far... Makes me actually feel ALIVE for a change and it has only been a week... I am hoping within the next month I should be good to go...
Of course, the doctor did say that Self-Esteem and Low-Self-Worth is the cause of a lot of my stresses.... He mentioned that it takes practice to have good esteem and self-worth...
I personally feel that is a load of hog wash... (I mentioned this example to my doctor yesterday) Because my social worker told me the #1 way to build self-worth & esteem is to become SELF-LESS...
YAH RIGHT!!! When I did that, I felt I was neglecting myself so badly that my self-worth, depression, and feelings went so down the gutter that I could not even tolerate myself...
I dunno... Maybe I am just born to be a lonely soul :(
I think the trick to it is to try & find a balance somewhere in between. You can be a self-less individual without being a doormat. Just because you're willing to help out others & take their needs into consideration that does not mean you should ignore your own. Being a kind, compassionate person also means being kind & compassionate to yourself.... not just others. :D
I love the Paxil so far... Makes me actually feel ALIVE for a change and it has only been a week... I am hoping within the next month I should be good to go...
Of course, the doctor did say that Self-Esteem and Low-Self-Worth is the cause of a lot of my stresses.... He mentioned that it takes practice to have good esteem and self-worth...
I personally feel that is a load of hog wash... (I mentioned this example to my doctor yesterday) Because my social worker told me the #1 way to build self-worth & esteem is to become SELF-LESS...
YAH RIGHT!!! When I did that, I felt I was neglecting myself so badly that my self-worth, depression, and feelings went so down the gutter that I could not even tolerate myself...
I dunno... Maybe I am just born to be a lonely soul :(
I think the trick to it is to try & find a balance somewhere in between. You can be a self-less individual without being a doormat. Just because you're willing to help out others & take their needs into consideration that does not mean you should ignore your own. Being a kind, compassionate person also means being kind & compassionate to yourself.... not just others. :D
thickman
02-05-2004, 11:56 AM
I think I am a super extremist... Finding balance is not something I do well at all... I am like a switch... On and off with things...
I dont like that very much... That in itself causes me problems...
I am telling ya... I am not FIT to be in society!
I dont like that very much... That in itself causes me problems...
I am telling ya... I am not FIT to be in society!
InfiniteMystery
02-05-2004, 12:20 PM
really I think I am a super extremist... Finding balance is not something I do well at all... I am like a switch... On and off with things...
I dont like that very much... That in itself causes me problems...
I am telling ya... I am not FIT to be in society!
Okay, I'm going to preface this by saying that I really need to start taking my own advice.
That said, you know how when somone puts you down, tells you you're worthless, stupid, <insert nasty criticism here>, and eventually after being told it so many times you actually start to believe it? Well, the same goes for when you tell yourself all those bad things ("I am not FIT to be in society!"). I honestly hope you don't believe that.
Now I know we all have our bad days(months, years), and we feel like crap. That's totally understandable, but you're only making it worse by putting yourself down. Try to banish those negative thoughts from your mind (it's hard, but really, really try), and only concentrate on the things that YOU think are positive about you.
It's sort of like the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." :D
I dont like that very much... That in itself causes me problems...
I am telling ya... I am not FIT to be in society!
Okay, I'm going to preface this by saying that I really need to start taking my own advice.
That said, you know how when somone puts you down, tells you you're worthless, stupid, <insert nasty criticism here>, and eventually after being told it so many times you actually start to believe it? Well, the same goes for when you tell yourself all those bad things ("I am not FIT to be in society!"). I honestly hope you don't believe that.
Now I know we all have our bad days(months, years), and we feel like crap. That's totally understandable, but you're only making it worse by putting yourself down. Try to banish those negative thoughts from your mind (it's hard, but really, really try), and only concentrate on the things that YOU think are positive about you.
It's sort of like the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." :D
Crossbow
02-05-2004, 01:47 PM
Thickman -
OK, here's some advice I should have thought of earlier, but I read about it in the context of treating anorexia in teenage girls and didn't connect it to your problem. You made the connection for me when you mentioned being "selfless."
There's a book called "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher, about self esteem problems in teen girls. What she found helped her patients the most as far as building a healthy self-image was doing volunteer work. And as a matter of fact, the happiest period of my life was when I was a volunteer Reading teacher.
OK, here's some advice I should have thought of earlier, but I read about it in the context of treating anorexia in teenage girls and didn't connect it to your problem. You made the connection for me when you mentioned being "selfless."
There's a book called "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher, about self esteem problems in teen girls. What she found helped her patients the most as far as building a healthy self-image was doing volunteer work. And as a matter of fact, the happiest period of my life was when I was a volunteer Reading teacher.
thickman
02-05-2004, 06:04 PM
You guys are the best, you know that?
Hell, I wish I could take my own advice, because I would probably be considered normal sometimes if I did...
To me so many things are a double edged sword... You cannot ever REALLY WIN... but I dont even care to win anymore... I just want peace of mind...
IM: Maybe me putting myself down for over 16 years has contributed to my lack of self-worth and lack of self-esteem... However, I cant even REMEBER for the LIFE OF ME how it even feels to like myself... I mean sure, I like myself JUST ENOUGH so that I feed myself, and most of what I do to keep myself up (eg: shave, dress, etc) is for OTHER PEOPLE... So in essence, I am SELFLESS by shaving cause my gf likes me too... I dress properly for work because I HAVE TO (office)... so I am all confused... dont mind me :confused:
Crossbow: Volunteering has been on my mind for many many many years now... I am just not fimilar with the types of work I could choose from in my area... Maybe that is what I need to do though... Just something to keep me busy right? But then, I am SO BUSY 7 DAYS A WEEK and I pack my time in TIGHT AS POSSIBLE... So should I even try to add another commitment to the list... I dunno ...
Hell, I wish I could take my own advice, because I would probably be considered normal sometimes if I did...
To me so many things are a double edged sword... You cannot ever REALLY WIN... but I dont even care to win anymore... I just want peace of mind...
IM: Maybe me putting myself down for over 16 years has contributed to my lack of self-worth and lack of self-esteem... However, I cant even REMEBER for the LIFE OF ME how it even feels to like myself... I mean sure, I like myself JUST ENOUGH so that I feed myself, and most of what I do to keep myself up (eg: shave, dress, etc) is for OTHER PEOPLE... So in essence, I am SELFLESS by shaving cause my gf likes me too... I dress properly for work because I HAVE TO (office)... so I am all confused... dont mind me :confused:
Crossbow: Volunteering has been on my mind for many many many years now... I am just not fimilar with the types of work I could choose from in my area... Maybe that is what I need to do though... Just something to keep me busy right? But then, I am SO BUSY 7 DAYS A WEEK and I pack my time in TIGHT AS POSSIBLE... So should I even try to add another commitment to the list... I dunno ...
dagmarharris
02-05-2004, 08:37 PM
You guys are the best, you know that?
:Crossbow: Volunteering has been on my mind for many many many years now... I am just not fimilar with the types of work I could choose from in my area... Maybe that is what I need to do though... Just something to keep me busy right? But then, I am SO BUSY 7 DAYS A WEEK and I pack my time in TIGHT AS POSSIBLE... So should I even try to add another commitment to the list... I dunno ...
Dagmar writes:
Hi what kind of work do you do? Is it rewarding...I mean your real job?
Also why the switch from Celexa to Paxil? I am on Celexa.
My friends are on Paxil, but I guess I am doing okay on Celexa, so why change? I also think Paxil causes weight gain, but Celexa does, too!
well, hope to hear back from you,
dagmar
:Crossbow: Volunteering has been on my mind for many many many years now... I am just not fimilar with the types of work I could choose from in my area... Maybe that is what I need to do though... Just something to keep me busy right? But then, I am SO BUSY 7 DAYS A WEEK and I pack my time in TIGHT AS POSSIBLE... So should I even try to add another commitment to the list... I dunno ...
Dagmar writes:
Hi what kind of work do you do? Is it rewarding...I mean your real job?
Also why the switch from Celexa to Paxil? I am on Celexa.
My friends are on Paxil, but I guess I am doing okay on Celexa, so why change? I also think Paxil causes weight gain, but Celexa does, too!
well, hope to hear back from you,
dagmar
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 10:30 AM
You guys are the best, you know that?
Yah..... we know. ;)
IM: Maybe me putting myself down for over 16 years has contributed to my lack of self-worth and lack of self-esteem... However, I cant even REMEBER for the LIFE OF ME how it even feels to like myself... I mean sure, I like myself JUST ENOUGH so that I feed myself, and most of what I do to keep myself up (eg: shave, dress, etc) is for OTHER PEOPLE... So in essence, I am SELFLESS by shaving cause my gf likes me too... I dress properly for work because I HAVE TO (office)... so I am all confused... dont mind me :confused:
Let me ask you this then - how do you feel if you get dressed up in nice clothes to go somewhere? Out to dinner, or something?
A lot of the time I start to feel better about myself if I dress the part. If I'm in grubby clothes, hair in a ponytail, and no makeup I feel about as good as I look. :eek: If I go, take a shower, attempt to do something with my hair, makeup, nice clothes, the whole deal..... I DO actually feel better. Same goes with exercise - if I don't exercise, I feel like crap. If I do exercise I feel better (not perfect.... but better). Do you get where I'm going with this? Try taking care of your body - for YOU. Maybe taking care of the outside will in turn help the inside. :D
Yah..... we know. ;)
IM: Maybe me putting myself down for over 16 years has contributed to my lack of self-worth and lack of self-esteem... However, I cant even REMEBER for the LIFE OF ME how it even feels to like myself... I mean sure, I like myself JUST ENOUGH so that I feed myself, and most of what I do to keep myself up (eg: shave, dress, etc) is for OTHER PEOPLE... So in essence, I am SELFLESS by shaving cause my gf likes me too... I dress properly for work because I HAVE TO (office)... so I am all confused... dont mind me :confused:
Let me ask you this then - how do you feel if you get dressed up in nice clothes to go somewhere? Out to dinner, or something?
A lot of the time I start to feel better about myself if I dress the part. If I'm in grubby clothes, hair in a ponytail, and no makeup I feel about as good as I look. :eek: If I go, take a shower, attempt to do something with my hair, makeup, nice clothes, the whole deal..... I DO actually feel better. Same goes with exercise - if I don't exercise, I feel like crap. If I do exercise I feel better (not perfect.... but better). Do you get where I'm going with this? Try taking care of your body - for YOU. Maybe taking care of the outside will in turn help the inside. :D
thickman
02-06-2004, 11:45 AM
Dagmar writes:
Hi what kind of work do you do? Is it rewarding...I mean your real job?
Also why the switch from Celexa to Paxil? I am on Celexa.
My friends are on Paxil, but I guess I am doing okay on Celexa, so why change? I also think Paxil causes weight gain, but Celexa does, too!
well, hope to hear back from you,
dagmar.
I am a Network Administrator... I worked hard to get to the position of Supervisor here. I enjoy helping people get their systems up and running and maintaing the network. So yes, I enjoy and find my job very rewarding... I am actually one of those people that ENJOY COMING TO WORK because it is BETTER THAN THE REST OF MY LIFE...
I was on Celexa for 3+ years, but my depression kept getting worse and worse and my feelings were not of happiness but of pain... Doctor figured maybe another AD may be better suited... So Paxil it is...
I don't car if I get fat because of an AD, let me say that... I am so not about phyical beauty, nor do I even care how I LOOK :D
Ahh... The joys of mental illness....
Hi what kind of work do you do? Is it rewarding...I mean your real job?
Also why the switch from Celexa to Paxil? I am on Celexa.
My friends are on Paxil, but I guess I am doing okay on Celexa, so why change? I also think Paxil causes weight gain, but Celexa does, too!
well, hope to hear back from you,
dagmar.
I am a Network Administrator... I worked hard to get to the position of Supervisor here. I enjoy helping people get their systems up and running and maintaing the network. So yes, I enjoy and find my job very rewarding... I am actually one of those people that ENJOY COMING TO WORK because it is BETTER THAN THE REST OF MY LIFE...
I was on Celexa for 3+ years, but my depression kept getting worse and worse and my feelings were not of happiness but of pain... Doctor figured maybe another AD may be better suited... So Paxil it is...
I don't car if I get fat because of an AD, let me say that... I am so not about phyical beauty, nor do I even care how I LOOK :D
Ahh... The joys of mental illness....
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 11:48 AM
.I don't car if I get fat because of an AD, let me say that... I am so not about phyical beauty, nor do I even care how I LOOK :D
Hmmm...... okay, maybe you should just ignore my last post then! ;)
Hmmm...... okay, maybe you should just ignore my last post then! ;)
thickman
02-06-2004, 11:50 AM
Let me ask you this then - how do you feel if you get dressed up in nice clothes to go somewhere? Out to dinner, or something?
A lot of the time I start to feel better about myself if I dress the part. If I'm in grubby clothes, hair in a ponytail, and no makeup I feel about as good as I look. :eek: If I go, take a shower, attempt to do something with my hair, makeup, nice clothes, the whole deal..... I DO actually feel better. Same goes with exercise - if I don't exercise, I feel like crap. If I do exercise I feel better (not perfect.... but better). Do you get where I'm going with this? Try taking care of your body - for YOU. Maybe taking care of the outside will in turn help the inside. :D
I hate getting dressed up no matter what the occasion. I hate going out to do fancy stuff like nice dinners and stuff... Buy me a BigMac and Nuggets and I am happier than Ronald McDonald himself.
I actually really enjoy the scuffy look... I shower every day, my hair is long, so I always tie it up, i like being a SIMPLE kinda guy, know what I mean? I am not fussy when it comes to clothes or apperance...
I can't exericse anymore cause of my car accidents which have left me with chronic neck and back pain ( i refuse to take meds for it.. I grin an bear it )...
I liked the gym, I have been wanting to go back, but it gets in the way of my VERY BUSY life... I have made my life so GO GO GO that I don't get as depressed as I used to...
Put me in a room alone for more than 30 minutes, bad bad bad thoughts start running through my mind...
A lot of the time I start to feel better about myself if I dress the part. If I'm in grubby clothes, hair in a ponytail, and no makeup I feel about as good as I look. :eek: If I go, take a shower, attempt to do something with my hair, makeup, nice clothes, the whole deal..... I DO actually feel better. Same goes with exercise - if I don't exercise, I feel like crap. If I do exercise I feel better (not perfect.... but better). Do you get where I'm going with this? Try taking care of your body - for YOU. Maybe taking care of the outside will in turn help the inside. :D
I hate getting dressed up no matter what the occasion. I hate going out to do fancy stuff like nice dinners and stuff... Buy me a BigMac and Nuggets and I am happier than Ronald McDonald himself.
I actually really enjoy the scuffy look... I shower every day, my hair is long, so I always tie it up, i like being a SIMPLE kinda guy, know what I mean? I am not fussy when it comes to clothes or apperance...
I can't exericse anymore cause of my car accidents which have left me with chronic neck and back pain ( i refuse to take meds for it.. I grin an bear it )...
I liked the gym, I have been wanting to go back, but it gets in the way of my VERY BUSY life... I have made my life so GO GO GO that I don't get as depressed as I used to...
Put me in a room alone for more than 30 minutes, bad bad bad thoughts start running through my mind...
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 11:58 AM
I hate getting dressed up no matter what the occasion. I hate going out to do fancy stuff like nice dinners and stuff... Buy me a BigMac and Nuggets and I am happier than Ronald McDonald himself.
I actually really enjoy the scuffy look... I shower every day, my hair is long, so I always tie it up, i like being a SIMPLE kinda guy, know what I mean? I am not fussy when it comes to clothes or apperance...
I can't exericse anymore cause of my car accidents which have left me with chronic neck and back pain ( i refuse to take meds for it.. I grin an bear it )...
I liked the gym, I have been wanting to go back, but it gets in the way of my VERY BUSY life... I have made my life so GO GO GO that I don't get as depressed as I used to...
Put me in a room alone for more than 30 minutes, bad bad bad thoughts start running through my mind...
Well if you can go back, I would recommend it. You may not be concerned about how you look (that's a good thing), but if your body is healthier, then you should (in theory, anyways) feel better. More energy, less aches and pains. Light, gentle exercise may even help your neck & back pain.
You shouldn't be working your life away, that's not healthy for anyone. You need time to do stuff you enjoy - do you have any hobbies? You might benefit from putting in a little less time at work, and taking the time to do something YOU LIKE. For me, it's horseback riding.... that's my happy place. :D
I actually really enjoy the scuffy look... I shower every day, my hair is long, so I always tie it up, i like being a SIMPLE kinda guy, know what I mean? I am not fussy when it comes to clothes or apperance...
I can't exericse anymore cause of my car accidents which have left me with chronic neck and back pain ( i refuse to take meds for it.. I grin an bear it )...
I liked the gym, I have been wanting to go back, but it gets in the way of my VERY BUSY life... I have made my life so GO GO GO that I don't get as depressed as I used to...
Put me in a room alone for more than 30 minutes, bad bad bad thoughts start running through my mind...
Well if you can go back, I would recommend it. You may not be concerned about how you look (that's a good thing), but if your body is healthier, then you should (in theory, anyways) feel better. More energy, less aches and pains. Light, gentle exercise may even help your neck & back pain.
You shouldn't be working your life away, that's not healthy for anyone. You need time to do stuff you enjoy - do you have any hobbies? You might benefit from putting in a little less time at work, and taking the time to do something YOU LIKE. For me, it's horseback riding.... that's my happy place. :D
thickman
02-06-2004, 12:08 PM
Well the gym thing, yeah, I will go back when I am motivated enough :( Just don't have the URGE for one thing... Plus, not having much money does not allow me to pay for the $40 a month membership...
I dont remeber what I liked to do... I don't work 24/7... I work 8:30-5PM every day and that is all... Rest of the time I am with my gf... Cause I have no friends, and no hobbies, and I care never to be alone in fear of depression taking control of me...
I dont remeber what I liked to do... I don't work 24/7... I work 8:30-5PM every day and that is all... Rest of the time I am with my gf... Cause I have no friends, and no hobbies, and I care never to be alone in fear of depression taking control of me...
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 01:10 PM
Well the gym thing, yeah, I will go back when I am motivated enough :( Just don't have the URGE for one thing... Plus, not having much money does not allow me to pay for the $40 a month membership...
You don't necessarily need a gym membership, but if there's a YMCA near you their prices are little more reasonable, and they also do subsidized payments (based on your disposable income)... at one point I was paying $15/month. A lot easier to swallow.
Go for walks, ride a bike, free weights... there's a lot of stuff you can do at home, if you're creative.
I dont remeber what I liked to do... I don't work 24/7... I work 8:30-5PM every day and that is all... Rest of the time I am with my gf... Cause I have no friends, and no hobbies, and I care never to be alone in fear of depression taking control of me...
Then find a new hobby. Perhaps even something that the two of you can do together if you don't want to be alone. It's always good to have something fun in your life, something to look forward to.
You don't necessarily need a gym membership, but if there's a YMCA near you their prices are little more reasonable, and they also do subsidized payments (based on your disposable income)... at one point I was paying $15/month. A lot easier to swallow.
Go for walks, ride a bike, free weights... there's a lot of stuff you can do at home, if you're creative.
I dont remeber what I liked to do... I don't work 24/7... I work 8:30-5PM every day and that is all... Rest of the time I am with my gf... Cause I have no friends, and no hobbies, and I care never to be alone in fear of depression taking control of me...
Then find a new hobby. Perhaps even something that the two of you can do together if you don't want to be alone. It's always good to have something fun in your life, something to look forward to.
thickman
02-06-2004, 01:17 PM
I look forward to Monday's, cause Weekends always suck...
Thats pretty much it...
As for the gym, I make too much for discounted gym and high-debit is what is making the gym unaffordable :(
Thats pretty much it...
As for the gym, I make too much for discounted gym and high-debit is what is making the gym unaffordable :(
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 01:40 PM
I look forward to Monday's, cause Weekends always suck...
I hear ya. I was like that until just recently. The way I figure it is that my bf can't be fighting with me if I'm at work, right? :rolleyes: It's not that bad now, but he doesn't understand the concept of "relax"!! Now I go riding on Saturdays, so I live for weekends - it's the only thing that keeps me sane.
I hear ya. I was like that until just recently. The way I figure it is that my bf can't be fighting with me if I'm at work, right? :rolleyes: It's not that bad now, but he doesn't understand the concept of "relax"!! Now I go riding on Saturdays, so I live for weekends - it's the only thing that keeps me sane.
thickman
02-06-2004, 01:44 PM
I hear ya. I was like that until just recently. The way I figure it is that my bf can't be fighting with me if I'm at work, right? :rolleyes: It's not that bad now, but he doesn't understand the concept of "relax"!! Now I go riding on Saturdays, so I live for weekends - it's the only thing that keeps me sane.
I get my kids every saturday... So I do get occupied... Of course the gf and her son are with us...
Then Sunday's there is this "silent contract" for which I need to spend the day with her... I feel the contract, but never heard it...
Mind you, some Sundays we are not together... I dunno...
i need major help today :eek:
I get my kids every saturday... So I do get occupied... Of course the gf and her son are with us...
Then Sunday's there is this "silent contract" for which I need to spend the day with her... I feel the contract, but never heard it...
Mind you, some Sundays we are not together... I dunno...
i need major help today :eek:
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 02:30 PM
Then Sunday's there is this "silent contract" for which I need to spend the day with her... I feel the contract, but never heard it...
LOL.... I know how you feel! My bf seems to be always complaining that he doesn't get to spend enough time with me. The only activity that I do outside of work without him is riding. That's one evening during the week, and Saturdays - he's saying that's too much. Give me a break. It's almost like he doesn't want me doing anything that will make me happy. When I'm home after work, he's out with his friends or on the computer. So I spend the time doing the housework, or cooking, etc.... If he was so concerned about spending time with me you'd think he'd get off the damn computer and go a day or two without seeing his friends! :mad: Oh, and he's not even working right now so he's got all the time in the world to do those things.
Okay.... that just turned into a big rant. Feels good to get it off my chest though. :)
LOL.... I know how you feel! My bf seems to be always complaining that he doesn't get to spend enough time with me. The only activity that I do outside of work without him is riding. That's one evening during the week, and Saturdays - he's saying that's too much. Give me a break. It's almost like he doesn't want me doing anything that will make me happy. When I'm home after work, he's out with his friends or on the computer. So I spend the time doing the housework, or cooking, etc.... If he was so concerned about spending time with me you'd think he'd get off the damn computer and go a day or two without seeing his friends! :mad: Oh, and he's not even working right now so he's got all the time in the world to do those things.
Okay.... that just turned into a big rant. Feels good to get it off my chest though. :)
thickman
02-06-2004, 02:32 PM
LOL.... I know how you feel! My bf seems to be always complaining that he doesn't get to spend enough time with me. The only activity that I do outside of work without him is riding. That's one evening during the week, and Saturdays - he's saying that's too much. Give me a break. It's almost like he doesn't want me doing anything that will make me happy. When I'm home after work, he's out with his friends or on the computer. So I spend the time doing the housework, or cooking, etc.... If he was so concerned about spending time with me you'd think he'd get off the damn computer and go a day or two without seeing his friends! :mad: Oh, and he's not even working right now so he's got all the time in the world to do those things.
Okay.... that just turned into a big rant. Feels good to get it off my chest though. :)
Man oh man... We are in two very "odd" relationships are we not... LOL
Okay.... that just turned into a big rant. Feels good to get it off my chest though. :)
Man oh man... We are in two very "odd" relationships are we not... LOL
Crossbow
02-06-2004, 02:34 PM
Heh. I never appreciate my single state more than when I'm on a depression message board!
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 02:57 PM
Man oh man... We are in two very "odd" relationships are we not... LOL
I don't know if "odd" is quite the word I'm looking for.....but yes, we are.
I don't know if "odd" is quite the word I'm looking for.....but yes, we are.
thickman
02-06-2004, 04:13 PM
I don't know if "odd" is quite the word I'm looking for.....but yes, we are.
Maybe odd was a bad choice of words...
But it is a interesting thing... bah... life sucks...
Maybe odd was a bad choice of words...
But it is a interesting thing... bah... life sucks...
Crossbow
02-06-2004, 04:15 PM
I'm speeking from experince here: A bad relationship is much, much, MUCH worse than no relationship at all.
InfiniteMystery
02-06-2004, 04:17 PM
I'm speeking from experince here: A bad relationship is much, much, MUCH worse than no relationship at all.
I couldn't agree more. I am actually looking forward to being single.
I couldn't agree more. I am actually looking forward to being single.